407 – River of Dreams

Treebeard and the unnamed King of Lórien set bounds between them; Alan and James clearly know no bounds. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we conclude our six-episode look at The History of Galadriel and Celeborn in Unfinished Tales. Fangorn will walk where he wants to; of the Gwathló, we learn that the river is wide and it’s too hard to cross (especially in the middle of the night); Celeborn is (we guess) surprised to find the meaning of his name has been changed. We imagine Treebeard on the local HOA board, ask what Tolkien meant by Númenórean power arriving “in time”, and observe a real missed opportunity by Amazon for product placement. Also: the given names of Elves, and… George Foreman? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Of the Elessar two things are said, though which is true only those Wise could say who now are gone — to paraphrase Merry, “that leaves us out, James”. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we return from our short break from The History of Galadriel and Celeborn to study a green gem and learn more about the Silvan Elves. Enerdhil becomes Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Book, Gandalf plays the part of a carnival magician, and Galadriel relishes being a big fish in a small pond. We wonder if “brooch” hid under the couch during the Great Vowel Shift, agree that good fences make good neighbors, and discover that Celebrimbor has been a fool for lesser things. Also: good neighbors don’t make good fences.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us all in the Common Room for the Prancing Pony Podcast’s 11th annual Tolkien Reading Day special. Tolkien Reading Day is observed every March 25 in honor of the destruction of the Ring and the downfall of Barad-dûr. This year’s theme, as chosen by the Tolkien Society, is Unlikely Heroes — which describes each of the co-hosts who’ve joined with The Man of the West to present readings that showcase this year’s theme. Matt calls ‘dibs’, Don’s hero is a bird, Sara surprisingly doesn’t choose Aldarion, Shawn finds two heroes to thwack the Fëanor-shaped piñata, while James and Alan really aren’t crying at all, at all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lórien had long years of peace and obscurity under the rule of Amdír; the PPP has had 10 years of, well, obscurity under the rule of Alan. Join The Man of the West and the Sage of the South as we continue our deep dive into the story of Amroth and Nimrodel found in The History of Galadriel and Celeborn. Galadriel sees just how much those poor Silvan Elves need proper leadership; Amroth’s name, it turns out, might have come from living in a treehouse; and Imrazôr wonders what Mithrellas will do when she wakes up and makes up her mind. We encounter the Rick Steves of Middle-earth, determine that it’s always leg day in Minas Tirith, and discover that Alan cannot claim descent from the Kings. Also: Rhovanion on $10 a day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Sauron learned of Celebrimbor’s revolt, his wrath was revealed; Alan doesn’t wait for James to revolt, but his wrath is reduced to nothing more than bad jokes. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as Sauron has his way in Eregion in our third episode on The History of Galadriel and Celeborn. Celebrimbor runs with a dangerous crowd, the Númenóreans show up five years late, and Amroth tragically discovers that Elves can’t swim across an ocean. We remind you how helpful it is to read Tolkien aloud, agree that Círdan would never lie, and recognize that the taste for power marks the beginning of the Downfall. Also, Rings of Power catches a few strays. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christopher Tolkien says his father’s writing on Galadriel and Celeborn is “very roughly composed”; some way that our episodes are even more roughly composed. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we continue our futile quest for a consistent storyline in The History of Galadriel and Celeborn. Amroth is and is not their son, Galadriel rolls a natural 20 for ‘Detect Evil’, and Celeborn wonders ‘why does she stay?’ We ask how to clean up the residue of evil, discover Sauron is a NIMBY, and ask who is Celebrimbor really. Also: why did it have to be guinea pigs? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Celeborn has dwelt in the West since the days of dawn; it only seems like Alan has as well. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we embark on a six-part journey through The History of Galadriel and Celeborn from Unfinished Tales. Christopher Tolkien concedes ‘severe inconsistencies’, while Galadriel’s got a way about her; I don’t know what it is. Celeborn meets his wife in Doriath… or in Alqualondë. We marvel at the hubris of claiming to have learned everything the Valar can teach, wonder if Celeborn needs an upgrade, and ask ‘Whose Test is it Anyway?’ Also, any excuse to bash Fëanor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tal-Elmar hopes to turn the tables on Mogru, the town’s Master; James manages to turn the table on Alan by interviewing him about his decade in podcasting. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South for some hazy cosmic jive as we conclude our four-episode look at the story of Tal-Elmar. It turns out Mogru’s been plotting for a while now, Tal-Elmar could probably do with a few more clothes, and the Númenóreans apparently have errands to run. We note that Christoper Tolkien did an amazing job with his father’s “excruciatingly difficult” handwriting, agree to disagree as to whether James is actually Jabba the Hutt, and decide that the fourth danger of the Agar swamp is the Men Of Unusual Size. Also: we decide that 38 years is long enough to wait for a political joke. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tal-Elmar refuses to help the Master because his “father is the elder”; James refuses to help Alan even though Alan is the elder. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as love dares you to care for the story of Tal-Elmar found in The Peoples of Middle-earth. Mogru gets some exercise — apparently for the first time in ages, Hazad knows martial law when he sees it, and Tal-Elmar braves the three dangers of the Agar swamp. We keep noticing unexpected lizard references, discover a great new band name, and freely admit we still don’t have a clue. Also: snakes… why did it have to be snakes? Don't forget to check out Kris Piet's Elvish calendar at https://elf-boi.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tal-Elmar spots three strange birds upon the water; Alan and James are just two strange guys with microphones. Join The Man of the West and The Sage of the South as we continue our four-part look into Tolkien’s unusual story of Tal-Elmar. Tal-Elmar reminds us of the legend of the Swans of Gorbelgod, Hazad offers a long history lesson, and together they turn and face the strange master of Agar: Mogru the Hutt. We discover that we’re good at finding things that don’t help us at all, admire Tolkien’s masterful use of inner dialog, and agree that no one wants to eat Hazad. Also: no, you go to the knappers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices