Episode 408 - Honoring Grief and Loss During the Christmas Season with Lanier Ivester

How do we make space for our grief in the midst of what is often called a joyful season? What happens when the traditions we once cherished become painful reminders of those no longer at our table?Author Lanier Ivester understands the deep ache of loss and how it reshapes the holidays. After walking through multiple griefs—many within a single year—Lanier found herself reimagining the Christmas season traditions she once loved. Through that process, she discovered how to honor her grief while allowing traditions to evolve in ways that nurture connection and relationship.In her book, Glad and Golden Hours: A Companion for Advent and Christmastide, Lanier shares cherished practices—many of which were passed down from her mother and explores the rich theology of the Christmas season—a theology that embraces both joy and sorrow in sacred tension.In this episode, Davey sits down with Lanier to discuss how grief transforms our experience of the holidays, the invitation Advent offers to bring both our celebration and lament before God, and how to thoughtfully engage—or release—traditions after loss.If you or someone you love is hurting this Christmas, this conversation offers a gentle reminder: this season is spacious enough to hold your pain and still whisper the hope of Christ—Emmanuel, God with us. Website: https://lanierivester.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lanierivester/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LaniersBooks/ Book: Glad and Golden Hours: A Companion for Advent and Christmastide https://amzn.to/46TBND515% Code off any Glad and Golden Hours products at rabbitroom.com Code: KITCHEN15Every story shared through Nothing is Wasted becomes part of a living legacy and you can be a part. Join the legacy and give today: www.nothingiswasted.com/legacyofhope Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Please donate today at MercyShips.org/podcast Visit www.OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off sitewide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 off, usepromo code FUN at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when you find yourself living a life you don’t always love? How can joy be rediscovered after seasons of sorrow and heartache?For author, podcaster, and military wife Rachel Awtrey, learning to love her life hasn’t been an easy journey. After losing her father at a young age, walking through a messy season of grief, and navigating the uncertainty that comes with being married to a military member, Rachel has experienced her share of challenges. Yet through it all, she’s discovered how to find joy in the messy, mundane moments of everyday life.In her latest book, Love Your Life (Even If You Don’t Like It All the Time), Rachel offers a refreshing and honest perspective on what it truly means to live a joyful life. She shares simple, practical ways to face daily frustrations and uncover meaning even in the hardest seasons.In this episode, Davey and Rachel discuss the importance of giving yourself time and space to grieve after a loss, how our natural tendencies can become magnified in times of pain, and practical encouragement for military families—and those who love them—facing the unique challenges of that lifestyle.If you’ve ever struggled to love your actual, everyday life, this conversation will remind you that joy can be found right where you are, no matter your circumstances. Website: https://rachelawtrey.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.awtrey/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/realtalkwithrachelpod Podcast: Real Talk with Rachel Awtrey https://rachelawtrey.com/podcast/ Book: Love Your Life (Even If You Don’t Like It All the Time) https://amzn.to/48Iz0yYEvery story shared through Nothing is Wasted becomes part of a living legacy and you can be a part. Join the legacy and give today: www.nothingiswasted.com/legacyofhope Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Please donate today at MercyShips.org/podcast Visit www.OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off sitewide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 off, usepromo code FUN at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you find hope when life unexpectedly thrusts you into the valley of loss? How do you navigate the rugged terrain of pain?For Nothing is Wasted’s Podcast Producer and Content Director, Catherine Fitzgerald, the heartbreak and trauma of losing her brother, Zac, plunged her into a valley unlike anything she had ever experienced. In the aftermath came secondary losses of community and identity and a spiritual desolation that felt like a dark night of the soul. She found herself wondering how she would ever find her way back to faith.And yet, God met her there—through the book of Psalms and through the stories of others, like Davey Blackburn—offering a glimmer of light to guide her toward hope.Now, in Nothing is Wasted’s latest project, Catherine has gathered and edited a collection of stories from past podcast guests, Nothing is Wasted Coaches, and team members. Each story weaves together personal journeys through pain, loss, and trauma with reflections on the Psalms, forming a powerful new devotional—Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy.In this episode, Davey and Catherine look back on their own stories and their shared journey through Nothing is Wasted. Together, they explore how loss reshapes every part of our lives, the often messy wrestle for hope, and why stories are such a vital part of nurturing faith in the valley of pain.If you’ve ever believed that hope simply means “looking on the bright side,” this conversation will remind you that true hope is far more complex—gritty, raw, and worth fighting for. And often, it’s the stories of others that become our most powerful weapon in that fight. Instagram: instagram.com/thecatfitzBook: Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalleyEvery story shared through Nothing is Wasted becomes part of a living legacy and you can be a part. Join the legacy and give today: www.nothingiswasted.com/legacyofhope Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Please donate today at MercyShips.org/podcast Visit www.OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off sitewide during their Sizzle All the Way Sale. And for an extra $35 off, usepromo code FUN at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warning: This episode discusses domestic violence and may not be suitable for all audiences. What do you do when your life turns into a nightmare? How do you find healing from the deepest hurts imaginable?As a therapist, Kimberly Haar had spent years walking others through darkness and difficulty. But nothing could have prepared her for her own journey through trauma. Years after an amicable divorce, Kimberly was violently assaulted by her ex-husband. In a harrowing turn of events, he kidnapped her and shot her then-boyfriend—now husband—ten times. While both Kimberly and her husband survived and recovered physically, their emotional healing would take years—and a deep dependence on Jesus.Kimberly shares her powerful story in her book Healing from Life's Deepest Hurts: Reclaiming Your Life After Grief, Loss, or Trauma, offering hope and tools for others navigating their own paths of recovery.In this episode, Davey sits down with Kimberly to talk about facing fear after trauma, the vital role therapy can play in healing, and how to honor the pain you've experienced without staying trapped in a victim identity.If you or someone you know has faced the unimaginable, this conversation will be a reminder that even after navigating the deepest hurts—with God—you can reclaim your life. Website: kimberlyhaar.comInstagram: instagram.com/kimberly.haarFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/KimberlyJHaar/Book: Healing from Life's Deepest Hurts: Reclaiming Your Life After Grief, Loss, or Trauma https://amzn.to/46wNi4j Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Pre-order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when you find yourself reacting as a leader? How can the wounds of your past impact who you are becoming?Former pastor turned leadership coach and podcaster Tony Miltenberger began noticing a powerful pattern in his conversations with leaders: the emotional reactions that were surfacing and influencing their leadership were often rooted in unresolved wounds from the past. As he dug deeper, Tony discovered something even more profound—those very wounds often pointed to the unique gifts a person was meant to offer the world.Drawing from his own personal journey and the experiences of those he has coached, Tony came to see the redemptive potential in our pain. That insight became the foundation of his book,Wisdom in the Wound: How God Uses Your Past to Shape Who You’re Becoming. In this episode, Davey and Tony explore the significant impact of "little 't'" traumas in our lives and leadership, why it's crucial to trace our emotional responses back to their origins, and practical steps to begin healing the wounds that shape us.If you lead in any capacity—whether in business, ministry, your workplace, or your home—this conversation will challenge and encourage you to look beneath the surface, confront your story, and discover the wisdom God wants to draw from your wounds so you can fully step into your calling. Website: https://www.twmilt.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twmiltFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/twmilt Book: Wisdom in the Wound: How God Uses Your Past to Shape Who You’re Becominghttps://amzn.to/48WpIiZ Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Pre-order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can you keep trusting God when you experience the most unimaginable trauma? Where can you find the goodness of God when the pain feels unrelenting?Erin Ketchen grew up in a family deeply rooted in faith. That foundation became essential when her family was thrust into a season of profound suffering. First, her husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer, a journey they had to navigate together. But nothing could have prepared Erin for the tragedy that followed: the brutal murder of her sister—her best friend—and her young niece at the hands of a deranged neighbor.Rather than allowing the pain to consume her, Erin discovered a renewed purpose through her suffering. Today, she serves as a Nothing is Wasted coach, using her own story to walk alongside others in their darkest seasons.In this raw and powerful conversation, Davey and Erin connect over their shared experiences of loss. They explore why moving toward our pain is vital, how Jesus transforms our perspective in suffering, and how God often uses our deepest wounds as the very platform for ministry.If you've ever wondered how to trust God when life feels hard, this episode will remind you that even in the struggle, His goodness can still be found. Website: https://www.nothingiswasted.com/coaches/erin-ketchen https://www.erinkcoaching.com/ Instagram: instagram.com/erin.ketchen Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Pre-order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you navigate the inevitable storms of life? What does it truly look like to grieve the life you once envisioned?Josh Turner is no stranger to life’s storms. From parenting a daughter with special needs—whose diagnosis didn’t come until she was 12 years old—to enduring a painful betrayal at the church where he served as a pastor, Josh has weathered more than his fair share of hardship. Through these experiences, he began to recognize a critical need: a pathway to help pastors and leaders endure their own storms without reaching the point of burnout or moral failure.This realization led to the founding of the 10 Ten Project, a ministry dedicated to equipping pastors and leaders with the tools they need to lead well through adversity. Josh also shares his powerful personal journey in his latest book, Into the Storm: How to Face Down Any Crisis with Deep, Unshakable Faith.In this episode, Davey and Josh explore how suffering can deepen our faith, the unique challenges of raising a child with special needs and how it can effect a marriage, and what leaders need to sustain their calling in the face of crisis.If you're walking through a storm right now, this conversation is a timely reminder: no matter what you’re facing, it’s possible to enter the storm with a deep, unshakable faith. Website: www.10tenproject.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/joshuaturner Book: Into the Storm: How to Face Down Any Crisis with Deep, Unshakable Faith https://amzn.to/3Wj5Cb8 Stories matter. They inspire, uplift, and remind us we’re not alone in our pain. Hope in the Valley: 42 Days of Healing Through the Psalms After Loss, Grief, and Tragedy is a new devotional featuring real stories from the Nothing Is Wasted community—offering strength, comfort, and hope in life’s hardest moments. Pre-order your copy today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/hopeinthevalley Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you hold onto hope when the answers just aren’t coming? What does it look like to keep the faith when it feels like your prayers are going unheard?Olivia (Feller) Gerber’s journey with chronic pain began in high school, when unexplained symptoms started to disrupt her daily life. Despite countless medical tests and doctor visits, she was left without a clear diagnosis—only more questions and mounting discouragement. In the midst of the unknown, Olivia discovered she couldn’t interpret God’s promises through the lens of her pain. Instead, she had to learn to see her circumstances through the truth of Scripture. That shift not only sustained her but inspired her to begin writing letters of encouragement to others walking a similar road, eventually leading to her book, Hold Hope: Encouragement for Christians with Chronic Pain.In this episode, Davey sits down with Olivia to explore the power of praying with specificity, the importance of community in seasons of suffering, and how to cling to hope when your situation seems stuck.If you or someone you love is walking through chronic pain and struggling to hold on to hope, this conversation will remind you that even in the absence of answers or change, God is present in your pain and will give you the strength to keep going. Website: www.letterstoholdhope.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/letterstoholdhope Book: Hold Hope: Encouragement for Christians with Chronic Pain https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/product/hold-hope-paperback/ Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WARNING: This episode contains mature content related to pornography and may not be suitable for all listeners.How do we begin having the difficult conversations around sexuality and pornography with our children? How can we teach our kids about sexual integrity in a way that fosters honesty and wholeness—without instilling shame?For Greta Eskridge, writing about how to talk to kids about pornography wasn’t something she ever imagined. But after experiencing the devastating impact of pornography addiction in her own marriage—when her husband disclosed his addiction and a subsequent affair—Greta realized how vital it is for families to approach this topic with openness and grace. As she walked the road of healing, Greta began researching the reality of pornography—some studies show the average first exposure happens between the ages of 8 and 11.Her newest book, It’s Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Children and Teens Develop Sexual Integrity, equips parents with practical wisdom for initiating these critical conversations in their homes.In this episode, Davey sits down with Greta to discuss how to respond when a spouse reveals addiction or betrayal, when to start talking to your kids about sex, and how to equip them with a plan if they ever encounter pornography.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed about how to protect your children online or where to even begin, this conversation will give you the tools and confidence to take the first step. Website: www.gretaeskridge.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/greta.eskridge Facebook: www.facebook.com/maandpamodern Book: It's Time to Talk to Your Kids About Porn: A Parent's Guide to Helping Children and Teens Develop Sexual Integrity https://amzn.to/4msZkBp Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you move forward after a life marked by trauma and pain? Can looking back be the very thing that helps you discover your purpose in God’s plan?As a young orphan in war-torn Liberia, Jackson TerKeurst could never have imagined the path his life would take. After years in an orphanage surrounded by the devastation of conflict, Jackson was invited to join a group of children on a tour across the United States—sharing stories of resilience and hope born from unimaginable suffering.But in the midst of that journey, Jackson received heartbreaking news: he would not be returning home. His country and the orphanage he once knew had been overtaken by violence and chaos. Stranded and grieving, Jackson faced an uncertain future.Yet God was writing a greater story.Through a series of divine appointments, Jackson met the TerKeurst family, who would eventually adopt him and his brother. Today, Jackson is an entrepreneur, a husband, and a father. He reflects on his journey and how God's hand was evident through it all in his new book,The Only Way Forward Is Back: A Story of War, Adoption, and Finding Your Purpose in God’s Plan.In this powerful and heartfelt conversation, Davey sits down with Jackson to explore the deep wounds of growing up in a war zone, how revisiting the past has been key to Jackson’s healing, and why serving others plays such a central role in his story.If you’ve ever been hesitant to look back at your own pain, this episode will remind you: sometimes it’s in looking back that we find the very path God has prepared to move us forward. Website: www.jacksonterkeurst.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/jacksonterkeurst_Facebook: www.facebook.com/jackson.terkeurst/Book: The Only Way Forward Is Back: A Story of War, Adoption, and Finding Your Purpose in God’s Plan Wondering where to get started on your journey towards healing? Join Davey on our next FREE, live Zoom call and find out how you can begin to take back your story and how Nothing is Wasted can help. Sign up today at: www.nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: www.nothingiswasted.com/coaching Want a pathway through your pain? The Pain to Purpose Course can lead you through all you've been through: www.nothingiswasted.com/paintoppurpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices