Ep. 214: Quit Like A Woman with Holly Whitaker

When I was drinking I used alcohol to check out after a hard day, numb out from irritation and resentment, make the monotony of adulting less boring and as a reward to look forward to for getting through another week.  And when drinking left me with too many hangovers, sleepless nights and crushing anxiety I finally decided that I didn’t want to feel that way anymore and (slowly) pieced together 30, 60, 100, 180+ days alcohol-free.  It’s not easy, but it is pretty clear how to do the “sobriety” thing. When you don’t drink, you’re sober! But in order to “stay” sober, learning how to practice emotional sobriety can keep you balanced and happy in an alcohol-free life. Emotional sobriety is all about handling your emotions in a healthy, balanced way without turning to alcohol to cope with life’s challenges.  It’s really important for long-term recovery because ignoring your mental and emotional health can get you in a place where it’s really attractive to escape with alcohol.  4 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rekindling romance and managing conflict in intimate relationships is something a lot of women struggle with—whether it's why they drink or a challenge they face after stepping away from alcohol.  Figuring out how to handle conflicts, set boundaries, and connect with your partner can be really tough, especially when alcohol has been your go-to for socializing or managing stress. Whether or not you realize it, drinking has probably influenced the ways you are used to connecting, communicating and managing conflict with your partner.  So if you feel disconnected from your partner, don’t know how to manage conflict or get back the spark you used to have, we’re here to help! I asked Anna Aslanian, a marriage and family therapist, for her guidance on how to rekindle romance and manage conflict in your relationship. 4 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special anniversary episode, I’m celebrating four incredible years of the Hello Someday Podcast, marked by 214 episodes and 1.5 million downloads. It's been an amazing journey, and I'm deeply grateful to each and every one of you who has joined me along the way. To mark this occasion, I'm thrilled to revisit my top guest interview of all time: my conversation with Holly Whitaker, author of The New York Times best-selling book Quit Like A Woman, The Radical Choice To Not Drink In A Culture Obsessed with Alcohol. Holly's book holds a special place in my heart as she was a big part of my own sobriety journey.  In this episode Holly and I talk about the role of alcohol in society and its impact on women, why to embrace the trial-and-error nature of quitting drinking and why phrases like "Never Question the Decision" (NQTD) can serve as powerful mantras on the journey to sobriety. We also dive into how much the recovery movement has shifted in the last 10 years as more women are speaking out about their decision to stop drinking. Quit Like A Woman has been described as a groundbreaking look at drinking culture and a road map to cutting out alcohol that will change the way you look at drinking forever. I know you’re going to love this conversation with Holly.  Ready to drink less + live more?If you’re ready to change your relationship with alcohol join The Sobriety Starter Kit.It's my signature sober coaching course for busy women to help you drink less + live more.To enroll go to www.sobrietystarterkit.com. Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free Connect with Casey McGuire DavidsonTo find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to her website, www.hellosomedaycoaching.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I describe myself as an ex-red wine girl and a recovering people-pleaser. And if you’re wondering how those two things are connected we’re going to dig into that because as you start to navigate sobriety, boundaries are going to be your very best friend. Have you fallen into a people-pleasing pattern?  Maybe you’re an overachiever who takes care of everything and everyone.  Maybe you’re the happy, agreeable girl who spends a lot of time “reading the room” to anticipate the emotions of others so you can put them at ease.  Maybe you’re uncomfortable with conflict and would rather stuff down negative emotions than share them with the people in your life.  Maybe you’re afraid to say no because you want people to like you. Maybe you’re terrified of disapproval so you’re anxious, self-critical and a perfectionist.  Maybe you’re so busy meeting others’ expectations that you have trouble identifying your own wants, needs and feelings. Maybe you’re externally motivated, anxiously seeking the validation of your parents, teachers, boss, spouse, children or friends.  It even sounds exhausting. And those ingrained patterns of behavior can make you want to drink to check out from overwhelm, resentment, sadness, loneliness, stress, irritation, unhappiness or feeling unappreciated.  I asked my good friend Hailey Magee, a certified coach who helps people around the world break the people-pleasing pattern and master the art of self-advocacy and author of the book, Stop People Pleasing and Find Your Power to help me unpack people-pleasing, boundaries and why they matter in sobriety. 4 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are mindfulness practices part of your sober toolbox? If not, they should be. Mindfulness in sobriety can help you manage cravings, reduce stress and anxiety, regulate your emotions, increase self awareness, support your overall well-being, mental health and prevent relapse.  I know those are big promises, so let’s break down what mindfulness is, how you practice it and apply it to your sobriety.  So if you’re ready to dive into all things mindfulness in sobriety I asked my friend Deb Masner, host of the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast, to dive into what mindfulness is and how to use it to support your recovery and alcohol-free life.  4 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve spent a bunch of years opening a bottle of wine to deal with stress and overwhelm, to celebrate or reward yourself for making it to the end of the week, it may feel awkward or hypocritical to talk with your kids about the risks of addiction to alcohol.  But in a culture obsessed with booze, being able to help your kids understand the impact that alcohol and drugs can have on their lives and how to identify risks and behaviors that can lead to substance abuse and dependence is important - arguably even more important than all the hours we spend helping them with algebra homework and cheering them on at baseball and soccer games.  I asked Jessica Lahey, author of The Addiction Inoculation, Raising Healthy Kids In A Culture Of Dependence to share what parents can do to help kids recognize their risk for alcohol addiction, spot signs of early abuse and navigate our boozy world without falling into the trap of substance use and dependence.  It’s information I wish I had known when I started drinking and in looking at the risk factors for dependence it also gave me a new level of understanding of why alcohol was such a compelling drug in my life and compassion for myself for falling into the drinking cycle.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever stopped drinking but then struggled to stay sober after a bit? You’re not alone.  The best way to stay sober is to focus on building a life you love without alcohol. It’s about not only putting down the wine glass, but also shifting the way you’ve been living your life so that you no longer want to numb yourself at the end of the day.  If you’ve been worried about your drinking for a while, have tried to moderate and made (and broken) all the rules about when and how much to drink and finally have sober momentum, it is something to celebrate and protect.  Whether you’ve been sober for a month, 4 months, 6 months or a year, there are steps you should take to stay on the alcohol-free path, build a life you love and guard against going back to drinking.  First let’s break down why women might go back to drinking after a period of sobriety.  The four most common reasons women drink after a period of sobriety are boredom, stress, loneliness and hormonal changes before their period or in perimenopause. They’re also big reasons women have fallen into the drinking cycle in the first place.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever used alcohol as a coping mechanism to escape a dysfunctional relationship or unhealthy environment?  You might be a victim of gaslighting if you’ve been told that you’re imagining things, too sensitive, dramatic, overreacting, forgetful, paranoid, confused, insecure or misinterpreting things.  And if you’re drinking it’s easy for someone to say “you’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re talking about” or “you were drinking, you don’t remember what happened.” Without clear memories you’re more vulnerable to someone undermining your confidence, confusing and invalidating your experiences and emotions, establishing power and manipulating you.   Gaslighting can make you doubt yourself and your memories. In a relationship you might notice that you’re frequently feeling confusion, doubt, guilt, isolation, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, anger or desperation.  Alcohol can make it harder to cope with gaslighting in a number of ways. 3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you thought about taking a break from drinking but then decided that you’re “just not ready yet” to do it? Even if we know that alcohol is dragging us down, the idea of stopping drinking can be so daunting and scary)that we can stay in the drinking cycle for months or years longer than we need to.  If you’re waiting for your life to get better so that you’ll be able to stop drinking, you might not realize that your life WILL get better WHEN you stop drinking.  Beyond FOMO and using alcohol as a way to connect and relieve stress, a lot of us are not ready to stop drinking yet because we have no idea how to actually do it.  So instead of stopping drinking, we decide to double down on being better at “moderating”, making more rules and guidelines for when or how or how much we’ll drink in an effort to keep alcohol in our lives but minimize the harm it causes.  So, if you’re in the place of thinking that you’re “not ready yet to stop drinking”, we’re here to help! I asked Julie Dereshinsky, a certified professional coach who works with high-functioning, high-achieving women who are questioning their relationship with alcohol to help me dig into what you can do if you think that alcohol is dragging you down but you don’t feel ready to stop drinking.  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you love drinking like I did, I know it’s almost impossible to imagine that you could be happier sober.  Before I stopped drinking I imagined that my life without alcohol would be lonely, boring and depressing.  I thought that I would always want to drink, feel constantly deprived, that date nights with my husband would be less fun, parenting my kids would be more stressful and dinners out with colleagues would be awkward.  I’m glad to tell you that I was dead wrong.  I am happier sober than I ever was in my drinking days. So if you’re scared of an alcohol-free life, listen to this conversation with Madeline Forrest Campbell, host of the Happiest Sober Podcast. We will share with you all the reasons why you should jump into sobriety and get excited about what lies ahead for you, because it’s going to be good!  3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking — and how to make it the best decision of your life. Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking  Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free. Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober. Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson To find out more about Casey and her coaching programs, head over to www.hellosomedaycoaching.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices