The Hardcore Therapist 113.5- Who Are You When You’re Not Performing or Pleasing Others?

Today on The Hardcore Therapist, we’re talking with Chris Lohman — guitarist, vocalist, and true veteran of the Southern California hardcore scene. Hailing from Huntington Beach, Chris has been part of the scene since the mid-’80s, playing in bands like Blackspot, Collateral Damage, Done Dying, and John Henry Holiday. He’s not just a musician, he’s also the founder of his own screen printing company, supporting the same community he helped build through decades of music, creativity, and DIY spirit.Support the show

In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I breaks down the truth about perimenopause, menopause, and the massive impact hormonal shifts have on anxiety, depression, mood, sleep, and cognitive function. She explains why so many women are prescribed SSRIs during this phase — and why sometimes the real issue is unaddressed hormonal imbalance.You'll learn the science behind estrogen’s role in mental health, practical tools to manage symptoms, how to find a menopause-literate clinician through The Menopause Society, and why hormone therapy can be life-changing for some people.Support the show

Today on The Hardcore Therapist Podcast, I’m sitting down with Benny Capaul — vocalist and co-founder of the high-energy ska-punk band The Boy Detective, born out of southeastern Michigan’s DIY scene. The band, which began as a recording project between Benny and guitarist Nic Good, has evolved into a powerhouse of sharp songwriting, infectious energy, and emotional honesty.But Benny’s story goes far beyond the stage. He’s also a fourth-generation funeral director and death doula, dedicating his life to helping people navigate the sacred transition between life and death. His unique balance between creating music that celebrates life and holding space for grief and mortality offers a profound perspective on what it means to be human — to feel deeply, love fiercely, and honor every ending as much as every beginning.Support the show

 If that question hits a nerve, this episode is for you.In this powerful, science-backed episode of The Hardcore Therapist,I breaks down why so many of us become people-pleasers — from attachment to nervous system conditioning to psychological theories like the Sociometer Theory, Self-Determination Theory, and self-silencing research.You’ll learn:  The neuroscience and psychology behind people-pleasing How chronic performing disconnects you from your authentic self ACT-, CBT-, and IFS-informed strategies to break the cycle  Boundary scripts, micro-no’s, and behavioral experiments A 2-minute guided practice to help you reconnect with your valuesIf you’ve ever felt like your worth depends on staying likable, agreeable, or accommodating, this episode will help you reclaim your identity — without guilt, without shame, and without performing.Listen now and start becoming the version of yourself you actually recognize.

On today’s episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I’m talking with Brian Burdzy, the new frontman of Hundreds of AU. Brian stepped into a band with an established sound and history, and with their latest album Life in Parallel, he’s helping push their music into new territory.His lyrics explore the tension between expectation and reality, social issues, and personal disillusionment ,topics that resonate far beyond music. Today, we dive into what it’s like to find your voice in a creative collective, how art can reflect life’s struggles, and why speaking your truth matters.

Feeling stuck with chronic gut issues or back pain? Wondering how pain can be “neuroplastic” when it feels so real? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I breaks down the science of the brain–gut connection, the role of the nervous system in chronic pain, and why disorders like IBS and chronic back pain are often rooted in neural pathways—not damaged tissue.You’ll learn:how the gut and brain communicate through the vagus nervewhy the brain creates pain even when nothing is “wrong”what neuroplastic pain is (and what it isn’t)the groundbreaking research behind Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT)how somatic work helps retrain your nervous systema step-by-step plan for people who think their pain might be neuroplasticThis is a compassionate, grounded, science-backed episode that empowers you to understand your pain — and finally heal it.

Steve Larson has been a cornerstone of Orange County hardcore. You know him from Insted, A18, and The Alligators—and today he’s hanging out with me on The Hardcore Therapist Podcast. We talk about Insted signing with Epitaph Records, the misconceptions they faced on the road, and how they were ahead of their time as one of the first true “merch bands.”I first met Steve right before the Big Frank Memorial Show, where he played in Bonds of Friendship with so many incredible people. Seeing him perform was a full-circle moment for me, and having him on the show now makes this episode even more special.

Does having a spiritual connection to a higher power actually affect your mental health? In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I break down the research, the real-life examples, and the clinical insights so you can understand how spirituality can help—or sometimes hurt—your mental health. We talk about what a higher power can mean for different people, how beliefs can provide meaning, coping, and community, and when spiritual struggles might actually increase anxiety or depression.If you want practical takeaways, evidence-backed insight, and a no-judgment look at how spirituality interacts with mental health, this episode is for you.

Today on The Hardcore Therapist, I’m joined by Vennie from South Florida hardcore outfit Spit Truth, a band gearing up to drop their new EP Good For You this fall. Known for their raw energy and unapologetic honesty, Spit Truth will also be taking their sound on the road with a Texas tour this coming March. At the center of it all is Iraldes Jose Abreu (pronounced ee-RAHL-des ho-SEH ah-BREH-oo), who not only fuels the band’s drive but also runs Soul Search Therapy LLC. Whether delivering hardcore intensity on stage or guiding people in their healing journeys, Abreu embodies the same authenticity and unwavering commitment to truth.

In this episode, I explore one of the most common — and misunderstood — emotional experiences: feeling lonely even when you’re not alone. Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and her work as a therapist, she breaks down why this happens, how modern culture reinforces disconnection, and what you can do to rebuild genuine emotional intimacy.If you’ve ever wondered why being surrounded by friends, classmates, or even family still feels isolating, this episode will help you understand the psychology — and the hope — behind loneliness.Listener Reflection QuestionsWhen was the last time you felt alone even while surrounded by people? What was missing from that moment?How safe do you feel showing your authentic self in your current relationships?Which small vulnerability could you try this week to move one step closer to authentic connection?   4. How does your body signal loneliness? What sensations or patterns do you             notice?