Episode 269: Where Tenderness Lives with Heather Plett

Sharon Pope, a Master Life Coach, and Relationship Expert, joins me to dive into why more women are opting out of their marriages, the historical context of marriage dynamics, and the challenges modern couples are up against. Sharon’s mission is to equip women and men with the tools to improve, heal, or let go of their struggling marriages. We’ll also tackle relationships' social, legal, and emotional sides, emphasizing the importance of open communication and intentionality. Featured topics: Why more women are the ones pulling the plug on their marriages (3:21) Women often check out of their marriage mentally long before they physically leave (12:13) Communication tips and advice to use before you hit the “I'm done” point (14:24) Why Sharon believes “divorce should always be an option.” (26:20) Learn more about Sharon Pope: Sharon Pope is a certified Master Life Coach and Relationship Expert helping women and men get the tools they need to improve, heal, or release their struggling marriages. She is a seven-time international best-selling author on love and relationships, including "Stay or Go: How to Find the Confidence & Clarity You Need to Either Fix the Struggles in Your Marriage or Move Forward without Regret," which has sold more than 300,000 copies, and host of the podcast, “The Loving Truth.” Her work has appeared in numerous media outlets and online publications, including the “Modern Love” column of The New York Times. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Sharon's website Sharon's book, Stay or Go Sharon's Free Training: 4 Ways to Find Clarity in Your Struggling Marriage Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-272-why-more-women-are-calling-it-quits-with-sharon-pope DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Dr. Sarah Schewitz returns to the podcast to talk about pathological love relationships. Dr. Schewitz helps us understand what this type of relationship is, how to know if you’re in one, why these types of relationships can be so devastating, and what is necessary to recover and heal.  Dr. Sarah Schewitz is a licensed psychologist specializing in love and relationships. She is the founder of the successful online psychology practice, Couples Learn, which was named by Forbes Health as one of the top 3 online marriage counseling services in 2023. She specializes in healing attachment trauma, understanding the impact of childhood wounds on your relationships, helping couples transform their communication, and rebuilding trust after betrayal. Featured topics: Dr. Schewitz answers, “What is a pathological love relationship [PLR]?” and describes the four identifiers of a PLR (11:18) Signs and red flags that you might be in a pathological love relationship (13:19) The five personality traits of victims who most often are susceptible to this type of relationship (18:42) Why it is necessary to seek out a trauma-informed and educated therapist to aid you in recovery (33:32) Healing from traumatic PLR oftentimes requires a somatic therapy approach (36:06) Learn more about Dr. Sarah Schewitz: Dr. Sarah Schewitz is a licensed psychologist specializing in love & relationships. She is the founder of the successful online psychology practice, Couples Learn, which was named by Forbes Health as one of the top 3 online marriage counseling services in 2023. She specializes in healing attachment trauma, understanding the impact of childhood wounds on your relationships, helping couples transform their communication, and rebuilding trust after betrayal. Dr. Sarah and Couples Learn have been featured on CNN, The Washington Post, Women’s Health, Bravo TV, and more.  Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Couples Learn Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-270-pathological-love-relationships-with-dr-sarah-schewitz/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

For over six years, I’ve managed a Facebook group for women contemplating whether to stay in or leave their marriages. Recently, I made the very tough decision to close the group. In this bonus solo episode, I address the issues that led to the group’s closing. I further share about the rules and guidelines that were in place, the challenges of managing a large community, and my response to group members' frustrations. I also reflect on boundaries, the importance of doing the work for personal growth, and ultimately, the considerations for potentially reopening the group and providing some closure to the situation. Resources & Links: Facebook Group Survey Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

We’re talking about tenderness and holding space with Heather Plett, author of the award-winning book The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership and the recently released book Where Tenderness Lives: On Healing, Liberation, and Holding Space for Oneself. Heather opens up about her experience of dealing with divorce, co-founding the Center for Holding Space, and authoring books that dive into these concepts. Our conversation reveals how embracing tenderness towards oneself can disrupt patriarchal and capitalist structures and highlights the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and the deep dive required for personal growth. Featured topics: The concept of holding space: what it is and how to do it (3:10) Tenderness as a disruptive force (27:13) Putting into practice daily acts of tenderness (33:15) Learn more about Heather Plett: Heather Plett is the author of the award-winning book The Art of Holding Space: A Practice of Love, Liberation, and Leadership and the recently released book Where Tenderness Lives: On Healing, Liberation, and Holding Space for Oneself. She is also an international speaker and workshop facilitator, and co-founder of the Centre for Holding Space. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on A Tender Space Podcast: Healing and Divorce I A conversation with Kate Anthony Heather's website Center for Holding Space Heather on Facebook Heather on Instagram Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-269-where-tenderness-lives-with-heather-plett DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Oftentimes, we wrap our identities in this one thing - like marriage. What happens when it's over? This week, Nikki Spoelstra (Nikki Spo) joins me to discuss the transformative power of self-discovery through life's most challenging moments. Nikki and I cover a range of important topics, including how self-esteem is built through self-knowledge, strategies for managing thoughts about divorce, emphasizing the importance of setting limits on dwelling on the past, and so much more. Nikki is a breath of fresh air for women going through hard times.  Join us as we discuss the intricate process of reinventing oneself after significant life changes, the importance of self-acceptance, and the journey to finding joy and worth within. Featured topics: Nikki answers, "How did you reinvent yourself?" TLDR: “You do so, even when you’re scared as shit.” (7:18) Self-esteem is built through self-knowledge. (22:02) Apologizing is not the same thing as making amends. (26:11) Romanticizing friendships with your ex/co-parent: Don’t compare your divorce or co-parenting relationship to others. It may evolve differently or stay the same forever. (29:59) Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting. (31:33) A reminder that you get to be the owner of your story, and people don’t have to know all the details about your relationships or divorce (38:19) Learn more about Nikki Spo: Nikki Spoelstra is the host of The Know with Nikki Spo - a globally top-ranked podcast that highlights the stories of individuals who are finding and celebrating their deepest sense of inner knowing in a space where it’s not about knowing everything, but about coming to know ourselves. Covering topics that range from motherhood and business to wellness and self-care, The Know with Nikki Spo has been nominated for the People’s Choice Podcast Award and is up for two coveted Gracie Awards, which honor exceptional women in podcasting and journalism. Nikki is a single mom of three, has overcome tough life experiences with ferocity and grace, and is a compelling speaker of truths. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Kate on Nikki’s Podcast The Know with Nikki Spo Nikki's website Nikki on Instagram @nikkisappspo Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-268-reinventing-yourself-after-divorce-nikki-spo-on-self-discovery-and-empowerment/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

“Therapy is dead,” says this week’s podcast guest, Dawn Wiggins. In this episode, we get to the heart of why Dawn says therapy isn’t always the answer and, instead, how somatic and homeopathic techniques help individuals heal from various forms of trauma.   Dawn is a trauma-informed licensed marriage and family therapist and integrative healer who helps women turn the traumatic journey of divorce into a force for healing, self-love, and joy through a tailored blend of holistic and scientifically supported solutions.   Featured topics: Supported solutions for healing like EFT (6:45) Why Dawn says therapy is dead + explains the job of a therapist (16:25) Homeopathy: what it is and how Dawn weaves it into her practice (18:31) How we can use all of these techniques to heal the trauma of divorce and more (29:19) Learn more about Dawn Wiggins: Dawn Wiggins is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR specialist, and constitutional homeopath. She draws on decades of experience to help women navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes after ending a marriage. Using a little bit of science, a few alternative remedies and emotional release techniques, a whole lot of love, and zero BS, we step out of the victim mindset and into building a new life after divorce. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Dawn's website Dawn on Facebook Dawn on Instagram Post Divorce Roadmap - 21 Days of Guided Journaling Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-267-is-therapy-dead-with-dawn-wiggins/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

We are talking about a really important topic this week: grief. Grief is shocking in divorce. My guest Barri Leiner Grant, is a grief specialist and educator who joins me to help us understand how to process the grief we feel over an ended marriage. Barri divorced after a 17-year marriage and helps name grief and grieving for others who have experienced losing an imagined future. Putting the G-word in the D-word!   Featured topics: Why do we grieve a divorce? (2:16) Shame is a complicating factor in grief and divorce (8:49) The root cause of the shame and how to move through it (17:00) If we don’t look at our grief head-on, it will grow like a weed Grief tending: what it is and how you can tend to your grief (21:18) Exploring who you are now and who you want to be (28:35) Learn more about Barri Leiner Grant: Barri Leiner Grant is a grief specialist and educator and the founder of The Memory Circle -- a place and space she created for those who have experienced both death and non-death losses. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, Psychology Today, and Maria Shriver's Sunday paper, among many other media outlets. She is an author who shares her personal experiences of loss widely. She divorced after a 17-year marriage and helps name grief and grieving for others who have experienced losing a future imagined. Putting the G-word in the D-word!   Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Barri's website Barri on Instagram The Artist’s Way Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-266-putting-the-g-word-in-the-d-word-with-barri-leiner-grant TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Surviving divorce is one thing, but surviving divorce with a co-parent who abuses alcohol is a whole different ball game. Soberlink is a high-tech breathalyzer system that sends you instant results of a co-parent’s alcohol levels. When your co-parent tests, their identity is automatically confirmed with facial recognition, and tamper sensors ensure no cheating has occurred. You then get instant proof that your kids are safe in their care. Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Help your family thrive in the new year. Visit www.soberlink.com/dsg to learn more and get $50 off your device. DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Sadie Marie of Divorced and Happy joins me for a conversation about why life after divorce is the BEST, and her path of personal growth, self-discovery, and relationships. Sadie Marie empowers divorced men and women globally to embrace the exciting, playful - and even spicy - life that awaits them after divorce.  Our conversation is multifaceted, from feeling disempowered in marriage to reclaiming empowerment. We also touch on navigating divorce within friendships and pursuing genuine happiness. Listen in to hear about Sadie Marie’s joy-filled journey post-divorce. Her journey is a true testament that finding happiness post-divorce is possible!  Featured topics: What it means to be divorced and happy. (4:56) The feeling of being disempowered in marriage to moving to a place of empowerment. (7:17) Sadie shares her journey through fun, play, dating, and sexual exploration. (13:10) Navigating divorce and friendships. (17:39) Becoming a happy person and what the work looks like to get there. (20:13) Vanilla, Strawberry, and Sprinkles! Yes, please. Sadie tells us about her “What’s your dating flavor?” quiz. (31:54) Learn more about Sadie Marie: Sadie Marie, host of Sadie’s Divorced and Happy podcast, empowers divorced men and women globally to embrace the exciting, playful - and even spicy - life that awaits them after divorce. Sadie also produces Divorced and Happy social events in cities across the country, including the Twin Cities, Denver, and Chicago. Learn more at DivorcedandHappy.net  Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Divorced and Happy Sadie Marie on Instagram Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-265-divorced-and-happy-with-sadie-marie/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

I am thrilled to welcome Susan Hyatt, a Master Certified Life Coach, Bestselling Author, and TEDx Speaker. Susan is on a mission to disrupt the age and wage gaps—all the gaps that hold women back. Her work (and this conversation) empowers women, particularly those in midlife, to embrace their prime with fervor and enthusiasm. Together, we discuss female empowerment, self-discovery, and the journey towards embracing one's prime, including our sexuality (and I tell you guys something I haven’t told anyone else). We'll also explore the transformative potential of personal and financial growth, including opportunities in commercial real estate investment for women. Prepare for an episode filled with wisdom, inspiration, and actionable steps to redefine aging and self-worth. Featured topics: Embracing what it means to be in our prime (3:27) Disrupting age and beauty norms, including the notion that “thin is better” (9:57) Body acceptance, women and pleasure (20:26) Big YES Energy and how to tap into it (29:00) Women and building wealth (37:09) Learn more about Susan Hyatt: Susan Hyatt is a veteran Master Certified Life Coach, Bestselling Author, and TEDx Speaker. She helps women claim Big Yes Energy, getting more of whatever they want—from money to confidence, energy to joy. She is also the creator of BARE - a groundbreaking process that’s inspired women all over the world to stop shrinking their bodies and start expanding their lives. Susan has been featured on national TV and in magazines like O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen, and Woman’s World and was a finalist for the Athena Award, recognizing leadership in the field of women’s empowerment and entrepreneurship. When Susan is not hyping up her clients, leading epic retreats, or making a scene, you can find her lifting heavy weights, traveling the world, enjoying her hygge corner, and ditching the “invisible workload” so she can earn more and play more. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Susan’s website Women Invested  Susan on Instagram Susan on Facebook Show link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-264-big-yes-energy-with-susan-hyatt/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Discover how laughter can lighten the weight of divorce in this week’s episode. When your whole world feels on fire, bringing levity to divorce can be like a breath of fresh air. My guest this week, Andrea Rappaport, knows a thing or two about imparting humor in one's life while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is a recovering comedian who is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce.  Andrea and I look at the delicate balance between humor and seriousness in this episode when discussing divorce. Plus, we talk about why finding the right attorney is essential and the need for having a supportive squad by your side.  Featured topics: Why humor is so important when we're struggling (3:30) Some of the mistakes Andrea made in her divorce and what she learned (10:30) Checking expectations: “If you have an unhealthy marriage, you will likely not have a healthy divorce.” (11:53) Hiring the RIGHT attorney for your divorce (14:15) Why you need and DESERVE a team of support as you go through this process (44:20) Learn more about Andrea Rappaport: Andrea Rappaport is the co-host of the top-ranked Apple podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce. As a recovering comedian, she STRONGLY values the need for humor in our lives while navigating difficult situations. Andrea is proudly divorced and a mom to two little boys whom she loves almost as much as a shopping trip to TJMAXX. She has recently been engaged to a man who makes her laugh and loves her deeply. When she’s not shopping or podcasting, Andrea co-runs a Chicago-based marketing and messaging firm, Rappaport & Schaer. Resources & Links: Kate’s book “The D Word” - audiobook available now! Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Andrea’s website Andrea on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.