Hour 1: Umbrellas Are For Losers (feat. Pablo Torre)

"But first, do you want to send some kind words to Cardi B and Stefon Diggs?" JuJu, as confident as ever in his Bills but still afraid of the Dolphins, is here for Thursday Thunder, to update The Polls, and to share some insight on the WNBA Playoffs. Plus, Billy Gil joins Jeremy and Chris for this episode of The Pitch Clock while Chris finally has an opportunity to break down the league in 2025, and, unsurprisingly, it devolves into total chaos. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"If you don't have a podcast, you're a huge loser." We're talkin' stealing brain waves, stealing game plans, and (not) stealing basketballs. Mina Kimes joins the crew after the shenanigans to talk NFL football, including what should happen if the Dolphins get beat down on TNF tonight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Thanks for the money, Dan!" Pablo Torre dropped another Pablo this morning and is here -- while paying off his Bucket punishment as a mummy -- to discuss one of the great parables of wealth and why a sob story can coexist with a scam story. He also explains whatever the hell a carbon credit actually is. Meanwhile, while planting his own carbon credit, Billy dismisses The Guatemalan Dream™. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I'd rather have my arm chopped off than have the common cold." Witty is here to deliver his Top 4 Ray Hudson Calls, as he also refuses to back down on any of his terrible, no-good, very bad takes. He also has a reason Tua Tagovailoa doesn't look the same as he did in college, other than, you know, the head injuries. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I wasn't out with any waiters or waitresses, you know what I mean? That's an O.J. reference." Billy Gil pays off his punishment for The Bucket called "The Kawhi," and he doesn't understand why Pablo Torre won't stop snitching. Dan and Mike lead a conversation on both bullying and cowardice that led to Jimmy Kimmel's suspension from ABC and what it means for the future of the country and our First Amendment rights. Also, the Bills will be on their p's and q's tonight against the Dolphins. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The power of storytelling is to save us.... and to destroy us." Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Viet Thanh Nguyen, is deeply shaped by his identity as a refugee. Viet describes his upbringing, one without many books, one that dealt with violence and isolation, and one that made him incredibly interested in the Vietnam War. The two bond over the shared burdens that family takes on to start a new life and Viet talks about what it was like winning the most prestigious prize in literature for his debut novel, and how he was propelled from a professor to a public figure. Viet also speaks to the importance of sharing and uplifting refugee stories amidst the digital and political dangers facing today's society. Viet’s latest book, “To Save and to Destroy”, an exploration of otherness and a call for political solidarity, is available now wherever you get your books. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"No. We're 1-1-1, you d**k." Unda is a revelation, JuJu refuses to call a terrible team terrible, and what is going on with Keenan Allen's shoulders? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I don't care if Saddam Hussein is calling plays, I'm pulling for them." Does Dan even know how this business works? The Baumer doesn't think so. He, Kenny Mayne, and their new friend Connor Manning are looking for a fourth show host, but Dan is resistant. Then, Smetty is here Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I'm talking about how your back hurts when you take a big dump." Tony asks the question nobody else in the entire world is asking: could there be something there with Cam Ward? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I hope he has his tux ready for the 2026 Peabodies." How did we let Dan get away with saying Rex Grossman dragged the 2006 Chicago Bears to the Super Bowl? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices