367: The Key to Emotional Maturity Pt. 1

Most of us were never taught how to be with uncomfortable emotions—only how to avoid, suppress, or get overwhelmed by them. The unfortunate result is disconnection in relationships and more suffering. But what if the real secret to healing and creating secure relationships isn't about fixing the pain, but learning how to be with it? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by longtime friend and consultant Rachel to unpack the rarely talked about skill of emotional distress tolerance—what it is, why we need it, and how it becomes the key to emotional maturity. They get personal, sharing how PTSD, eating disorders, conflict avoidance, and financial stress exposed the places where they felt fragile—and how they built emotional strength, one small challenge at a time. If you've ever found yourself avoiding painful or difficult circumstances and want the skills necessary to get healthy and become a badass at facing life, this convo is a game-changer! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us don't realize how disconnected we are from our bodies, our emotions, and the present moment. We live in constant motion, pushing through exhaustion, ignoring discomfort, and calling it normal. But no amount of thinking our way through life will ever replace the deep safety that comes from being connected to ourselves. Justin and Abi are back from their sabbatical... sort of. In this episode they explore how dysregulation in the nervous system affects everything from our relationships to our ability to live out the healing we fight so hard to experience. They share personal stories of burnout and living in survival, and how their recent sabbatical has been a complete game-changer. If you've ever felt like you're doing all the "right things" and still not making the progress you hope for, this episode is an invitation to slow down and start fresh. Your nervous system doesn't need you to try harder—it needs to feel safe. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

We've all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we're not proud of. Suddenly, we're asking, "How did I get here, and how can I stop this from happening again?" Yet, we often repeat these cycles, unsure of how to break free. It's challenging for everyone involved—but there are solutions! In part one of this two-part episode, Justin and Abi explore how our nervous system can throw a massive monkey wrench into relational dynamics. They also share critical telltale signs of a dysregulated nervous system. Lastly, they open up about their own marriage and apologize to one another for how their dysregulation has impacted each other. This two part series is a game changer for any relationship. You won't want to miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us don't realize how much of our relationship pain is rooted in old stories—until those stories start playing out with the person we love most. It's easy to blame our partners for the chaos in a relationship. But what if the truth is that we're all just scared kids trapped in adult bodies, equally making messes as we search for safety? In this raw and redemptive episode, Justin and Abi share the full arc of their healing journey—from trauma bonding and codependency to finding internal safety, building emotional resilience, and learning to love without self-abandonment. They reflect on the missteps, the meltdowns, the moments that nearly broke them, and the powerful shifts that changed everything. Together, they paint a picture of what it means to stop trying to fix each other and start healing from the inside out. If you've ever felt stuck in patterns you don't understand, judged yourself for how you react, or wondered if your relationship could really change—this episode is for you. Don't miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Abi discuss the profound impact grief and suffering have on humanity, exploring how the radical love of God can overcome the despair and hopelessness we all face during overwhelming and painful experiences. Justin shares his personal journey of nearly losing Abi to her illness, revealing how his breaking point became a turning point for hope and freedom. Abi reflects on how her struggles have redefined her understanding of God's love. Together, they offer a fresh perspective on suffering and fondly recount the goodness of a Creator who has remained tangible and faithful throughout their journey. If life has been a bumpy ride for you, this episode offers a new lens—helping you see beyond the suffering to a faithful, loving Creator who willingly steps into the messiest parts of the human condition. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Betrayal cuts deep—not just because of the actions themselves, but because of what they shake inside of us. We choose to trust, to be vulnerable, to let someone in… only to have that trust disregarded. The pain isn't just in the betrayal itself—it's in the shame, the humiliation, and the reality-shattering confusion that follows. In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the emotional toll of betrayal and why it feels so destabilizing. They explore how gaslighting fuels the madness, why short-term efforts at repair aren't enough to rebuild trust, and how holding strong boundaries is essential in the aftermath. They also discuss the power of love—not as something that makes us weak in the face of betrayal, but as a force that allows us to rise above it, freeing us from shame and reclaiming our self-worth. Betrayal is a universal experience, but it doesn't have to define us. If you've ever struggled to make sense of betrayal—or want to learn how to rebuild trust without losing yourself—this episode is for you. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

We've all experienced those people that seem hot one minute and cold the next. Their mixed signals keep us wondering if they want to be besties or secretly planning our demise. The ups and downs of it can feel like a whiplashing rollercoaster. Solving the mystery can seem impossible, but we might just have your answers! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their long-time friend and fellow Life Consultant, Rachel, to shine a light on disorganized attachment and its impact on relationships. As three people who've operated out of it, they unpack the origins of this pattern, the push-pull dynamics it creates, and the internal shame, fear, and powerlessness that come with it. From childhood trauma to emotional incest, they reflect on how early wounds shape our nervous systems—and what it takes for people with disorganized attachment to create stable connections. If you've ever felt like you're too much, too broken, or too confusing to love… this episode is for you. There is a path toward clarity, healing, and secure connection—and it starts with understanding. Don't miss out. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us were never taught how to feel emotions—let alone how to express them in a way that feels safe for us and the people we love. From family dynamics to gender norms to childhood survival strategies, our emotional patterns were shaped long before we had words to describe them. In this episode, Justin and Abi dive into one of the most common relationship struggles: how we respond to emotions—both our own and others'. They explore the battle between "too emotional" and "not emotional enough," sharing personal stories that reveal just how often those extremes are shaped by past pain. They also break down what's really happening in these moments—threat responses, nervous system dysregulation, and internalized judgments—and show what it looks like to feel without becoming consumed. Whether you've ever been shut down for having big feelings or felt overwhelmed by someone else's, this conversation will help you understand where those reactions come from and how to move toward emotional safety—for you and the people you care about. You won't want to miss this episode—it might just shift how you see emotional connection altogether. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us were never taught how to share pain in a way that brings connection. We were taught to explode, shut down, or stay silent—and those patterns don't just disappear when we get into relationships. In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the messy ways they both used to express pain—and the chaos it created in their marriage. From nonverbal shutdowns to emotional overwhelm and assumptions that turned into judgments, they explain how unspoken pain builds walls and leaves both people feeling powerless. You'll hear how their childhoods shaped their reactions, how misreading each other's signals led to bigger disconnects, and what it took to begin rewiring those patterns. If you've ever been told you're "too much" when you try to share your feelings—or you find yourself constantly shutting down instead of opening up—this episode will help you understand why. This is part one of a two-part series—don't miss it. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Empathy can be one of the most destructive forces to connection—or one of the most powerful. Without it, relationships become cold and judgmental. But too much of it, without boundaries, and we lose ourselves trying to carry everyone else's pain. So how do we find that middle ground? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack what healthy empathy looks like, and what happens when it gets twisted into judgment or codependency. They share raw and personal stories from their own marriage—navigating chronic illness, financial stress, different upbringings, and PTSD—to show how empathy helped them heal long-standing patterns of resentment, disconnection, and pain. You'll learn the difference between cognitive and affective empathy, how boundaries make empathy safer, and why being "too empathetic" can actually be a sign of unprocessed trauma. If you've ever struggled with being too empathetic, not empathetic enough, or confused about what empathy should look like in healthy relationships, this conversation is a game-changer. Don't miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!