298: Loving the Fantasy of Someone

In part two of this powerful series, Abi and Justin unpack what it truly means to feel regulated—and why it matters in every relationship. Discover how partners co-create a shared nervous system that affects everyone involved and get practical, game-changing strategies for building a space of love and connection through self-regulation. Plus, listen in as they share real apologies, acknowledging the impact their own dysregulation has had on each other. Ready to transform your relationships? This episode is packed with insights that can shift how you connect, love, and communicate. Don’t miss it!

We’ve all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we’re not proud of. Suddenly, we’re asking, “How did I get here, and how can I stop this from happening again?” Yet, we often repeat these cycles, unsure of how to break free. It’s challenging for everyone involved—but there are solutions! In part one of this two-part episode, Justin and Abi explore how our nervous system can throw a massive monkey wrench into relational dynamics. They also share critical telltale signs of a dysregulated nervous system. Lastly, they open up about their own marriage and apologize to one another for how their dysregulation has impacted each other. This two part series is a game changer for any relationship. You won’t want to miss out! Also, enrollment for Reclaiming You is happening now! Sign up at: www.justinandabi.com/reclaimingyou You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

We're wired to seek love, approval, and affirmation—even when it pushes us to the breaking point. But what happens when life knocks you down so hard that performing is no longer an option? In this raw and eye-opening episode, Abi shares about her battle with PTSD and how it shattered her ability to keep up appearances. She dives into the toll of self-neglect, fueled by a 'can-do' attitude that led to burnout, and the pressure of maintaining a public image while struggling behind the scenes. From the expectations of always being "on" to how filming this very podcast triggered some of her darkest moments, Abi’s story is a powerful reminder that we all have limits. If you've been pushing yourself to the edge, this episode is a must-listen. It’s time to pause, check in, and show yourself some compassion. Don’t miss it! Enrollment for Reclaiming You is happening now! Sign up at: www.justinandabi.com/reclaimingyou You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In Part 2 of this series, Justin and Abi are once again joined by Johnny and Pietze for an in-depth look at secure functioning and the power of collaboration in creating a balanced partnership. Johnny and Pietze introduce a powerful alternative to "lawyering" called "microscopic truth," a way to communicate authentically and honestly that deepens connection and trust. They wrap up the conversation by discussing the importance of meeting each other's needs through a win-win approach and how fully accepting one another creates a relationship grounded in honor and respect. If you’re wanting tools and perspectives to help create a relationship with a solid foundation and mutual care, this series is just want you’re looking for! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Creating a secure, lasting partnership with someone we love is A LOT of work! It can be especially difficult when we don’t have a roadmap. But don’t lose hope, we’ve got your back! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their close friends Johnny and Pietze for a deep dive into the phases of a relationship. From the thrill of infatuation to the delicate dance of negotiating needs, they discuss the shift from codependence to interdependence and the importance of creating a collaborative relationship where the focus is on protecting, caring for, and nurturing the relationship itself rather than just the individuals involved. Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for years, this two-part series offers valuable insights to help you create a secure and thriving partnership! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

The battle between parents and their children is real! In many homes, parents either feel overrun by their kids, or they rule with an iron fist. But what if there was a way to create a balanced environment filled with mutual respect and love? In this episode, Habit Coach and friend Jenna Zint joins Abi and Justin for a deep dive into setting boundaries with your children and navigating the emotional challenges of parenthood. They discuss the common triggers parents face and how feelings of failure can prevent the creation of healthy boundaries. They also explore how to care for yourself while attending to your child’s needs, how to communicate with your child about the impact of their behavior, and how to foster a regulated emotional environment through self-regulation. If you’re looking for a parenting approach that embraces balance, nuance, and accountability, this episode offers practical insights on developing a healthier, more connected family dynamic. Don’t miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

It’s common for people to ask, “What am I doing with my life?” There’s a natural curiosity within us that seeks to understand our purpose on earth. The journey to discover what we’re created for can often feel overwhelming, but maybe it doesn’t have to be so complicated. In this 300th episode, Abi and Justin reflect on the humble beginnings of their marriage and the daunting challenge of trying to figure everything out. They share their faith journey and the fears they had to confront to become who they are today. They also discuss how simply doing the next right thing led them down unexpected paths and brought blessings they could never have orchestrated on their own. Finally, they reveal how trust paved the way for some of the greatest miracles they've ever experienced. If you're looking for hope and inspiration in your current season, this episode won't disappoint! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

You probably know or have met someone with ADD, ADHD, or autism—or maybe you’re one of those people. These neurological differences, known as neurodivergence, make up an estimated 15-20% of the population. Whether or not you fall into this category, it’s likely to impact your life, and we’re here to help you navigate it. In this episode, Abi and Justin sit down with their friend and psychologist Ruth Outram. Together, they share their journeys with neurodivergence, the impact it’s had on their lives and relationships, and how they’ve turned what could have been kryptonite into a superpower. They also dive into the pros and cons of labels and explore how understanding their struggles has been empowering and liberating. Lastly, Abi drops a bombshell and briefly opens up about her autism diagnosis and how learning she was on the spectrum changed her life forever. If you want to better understand yourself or those around you, this episode is filled with insight and compassion. Don’t miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of someone. The fantasy we create in our minds is often one of very few imperfections. Unfortunately, the perfect person only exists in our imagination. Building a relationship around a fantasy cannot only be disappointing, but it can be incredibly destructive.  In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by friend and fellow Life Consultant Rachel Hughes to discuss the world of relational fantasy known as limerence. They explore how fantasizing about who someone is can cause you to bond to the idea of them, create unrealistic expectations, perpetuate a one-sided relationship, and cause you to overlook their nuances altogether. They also delve into the importance of humanizing people and recognizing the red, yellow, and green flags we all have.  If you want to learn about a more holistic approach to relationships that will help you foster balance in the way you relate to others, this episode is right up your alley! AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In part two of this dialogue, Abi and Justin are once again joined by Habit Coach Jenna Zint to discuss the vital role boundaries play in fostering healthy relationships with yourself and others. Together, they tackle creative solutions for navigating seemingly powerless situations, eliminating blame and accusation in boundary setting, becoming self-aware of our patterns and triggers, and removing punishment from the process. They also explore how to create a balanced life through boundaries, avoiding the extremes of either giving nothing of ourselves or giving every last ounce to those who ask. This episode is packed with strategies that will bring relief to all your relationships. You won’t want to miss it!"   AND REMEMBER TO CHECK US OUT ON YOUTUBE! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!