Forgiveness: How to Let Go, Without Letting Them Off the Hook with Rachael Coopes

Darlings, an EXCITING update on what's coming next - eek! x As always, if you have anything you want to say, ideas to pitch or collaborations you'd like to make happen, send me an email - thatshelpful @ edstott.com

What if everything you've been told about baby sleep is wrong and the real solution is already built into your baby’s biology? Dr. Pam Douglas is the founder of the Possums Sleep Program, a science-backed, sanity-saving alternative to traditional sleep training. In this myth-busting episode, she shares where so many of the things we think we know about sleep come from, why they often create sleep problems instead of solving them & how understanding your baby’s biology can change everything. 💡 You’ll learn: Why “normal” baby sleep is wildly different than what you’ve been told The two regulators that actually control sleep — and how to work with them How common sleep advice is probably setting your family up to fail Why “wake windows,” dark rooms and early bedtimes can backfire The surprising truth about overstimulation, routines, and melatonin 📖 Chapter Timestamps: 00:00 – Peeking out of the trenches of year one 01:50 – Why sleep is one of the most distorted parenting topics 04:30 – How outdated health advice causes unnecessary distress 08:00 – What the research really says about night waking 11:25 – The myth of sleep training as “evidence-based” 14:30 – The massive range of biologically normal sleep 17:00 – Why wake windows don’t make sense 22:00 – The two real sleep regulators and how to use them 29:00 – Do you really need a consistent nap routine? 35:00 – Why stimulation at bedtime is a good thing 41:00 – Forget bedtime — it’s wake time that matters 46:00 – How to reduce early rising 51:00 – Transitioning away from co-sleeping (gently) 54:00 – What Dr. Pam most wants you to know 🔗 Helpful Links: Dr. Pam’s Book, The Discontented Little Baby Book Possums Sleep Program Find a Possums-accredited practitioner 💌 Related episodes: 5 Helpful Things I Learned in My First Year of Motherhood 📺 Watch & Subscribe: Watch this episode on YouTube Subscribe on Substack 📬 Get in touch: Say hi or suggest a guest: thatshelpful @ edstott.com Follow That’s Helpful on Instagram

What if forgiveness didn’t mean forgetting, reconciling, or letting people off the hook — but reclaiming your future? Learning how to forgive — even when it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do — is transformative. It’s a complex process, and there’s a real art to balancing boundaries and letting go. It’s an art Rachael Coopes is obsessed with. She’s the author of The Art of Forgiveness. 💡 You’ll hear: – The origin of the word forgiveness — and why it changes everything – The science behind rumination, stress, and long-term health – What forgiveness has to do with resilience and agency – How to begin (even if you’re not ready yet) – Why boundaries are essential — not the opposite of forgiveness – Why reconciliation and forgiveness are not the same – How your future can be your act of forgiveness 📖 Chapters 00:00 The Quote That Changed Everything 02:18 How Forgiveness Became Rachael’s Obsession 05:10 What 25 Interviews Taught Her 06:30 Forgiveness vs Letting People Off the Hook 10:45 Forgiveness ≠ Reconciliation 13:05 The Neuroscience of Resentment 17:55 Where to Start When Forgiveness Feels Impossible 22:00 Boundaries, Distance & Letting Go 24:45 When Forgiveness Just Isn’t Possible 26:10 Resilience, Accountability & Rachael’s Son’s Story 29:40 Your Future as the Ultimate Act of Forgiveness 31:15 “Forgive Like a Grain of Sand” 🔗 Helpful Links: – The Art of Forgiveness by Rachael Coopes – Rachael’s official website – Follow Rachael on Instagram 📺 Watch & Subscribe: – Watch this episode on YouTube 📬 Get in touch: thatshelpful @ edstott.com Follow That’s Helpful on Instagram

What if the pop culture you loved growing up was quietly teaching you to shrink, perform and turn on other women? In this episode, Pulitzer Prize–nominated journalist Sophie Gilbert joins me to revisit the legacy of the 90s and 2000s — a time that likely shaped how you see yourself & other women. We talk about the toxic version of ‘empowerment’ that dominated the era, why so many of us still feel stuck in competition mode and how we can start untangling the stories we were sold. 💡 You'll hear: – How porn and pop culture collided to redefine girlhood – Why so many women still struggle with internalised competition – What’s changed in how women are portrayed — and what hasn’t – How to start spotting (and unlearning) the cultural scripts you didn’t choose – And what reclaiming your story can actually look like  📖 Chapters00:00 Nostalgia and Reflection on the 90s 03:08 The Power of Pop Culture 05:57 Reality TV and Intersectionality 08:57 Sexualization and Female Power 11:57 The Influence of Porn on Culture 14:55 Empowerment and Its Implications 17:46 Crisis of Female Identity in the 2000s 22:10 The Shift in Celebrity Culture 28:43 Cruelty and Compassion in Pop Culture 29:05 Progress in Women's Representation 31:33 The Impact of Technology on Self-Perception 34:56 Revisiting the Past for a Better Future 🔗 Mentioned: Girl on Girl by Sophie Gilbert Sophie’s writing at The Atlantic Ed's Doco Series on what led to Britney's conservatorship 💌 More from That's Helpful: Subscribe to my Substack Watch the podcast on YouTube Follow That’s Helpful on Instagram 📬 Got thoughts or guest suggestions? Email me at: thatshelpful @ edstott.com

Know your phone is stealing your focus, but don't quite know how to take your back your brain? Here are 5 small, science-backed tweaks that will actually help. In this episode, I’m sharing how I broke the cycle—not with timers or guilt, but with insights from neuroscientists, psychologists, and attention experts who helped me understand the real cost of distraction, and what to do instead. 💡 You'll hear: How tech companies exploit your brain’s dopamine system The hidden cost of distraction most people never talk about The identity shift that makes new habits actually stick “20% habits” that give you 80% of the results Why barriers beat willpower every time And the one mindset shift that changed everything for me Whether you’re ready to ditch social media completely, or just want to feel a little more present in your actual life, this one’s for you. Recommended listening: The Science of Habits that Actually Stick with Dr Bree Hurn How to Hack your Dopamine with Dr Anastasia Hronis Reclaim Your Attention with Annie Margaret 📺 Watch the episode on YouTube 📝 Subscribe on Substack Enjoying the podcast? Share it, leave a review, or forward to a buddy who needs a little nudge to be more present.

Feel like you're failing at motherhood? Maybe you're actually on the right track. In this episode, I chat with author and podcaster Victoria Vanstone about her year of “mumming” — a 12-month mission to try anything and everything to become a better mum.  From parenting courses and rage walks to hiding in Aldi and whispering affirmations in the pantry, Victoria shares the real story of what worked, what didn’t, and why trying (and failing) might be the most important part. If mum guilt, mum rage, or the pressure to “get it right” are part of your daily internal monologue — this one’s for you. You’ll hear: 💡 Why mum guilt and mum rage are normal — and what to do with them 💡 The parenting tools that actually worked (and the weird ones that didn’t) 💡 Why doing things for yourself might be the most effective parenting strategy 💡 What Victoria learned from yelling, bribing, and eventually walking away — on purpose Watch the episode on YouTube: 📺 YouTube.com/@ThatsHelpfulPod Subscribe on Substack for weekly helpful writing & behind-the-scenes: 📝 thatshelpful.substack.com Buy Victoria’s book: 📚 Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Mum Find Victoria online: 🌐 www.victoriavanstone.com 📸 @vic_sober_awkward Enjoying the podcast? Share it, leave a review, or forward to a buddy who needs a little less guilt and a bit more grace.

Ready to stop asking for permission and start doing the thing you actually want to do? Ash Ambirge is here to hand you the match. 🔥 She’s the author of The Middle Finger Project — a book, a movement, and a manifesto for anyone who's tired of playing it small. She’s on a mission to help people ditch the jobs they hate and build their dream lives. In this conversation, Ash and I talk about what it really takes to walk away from "safe" and create something better. If you’re dreaming of more but scared to make the jump, this episode is your sign. It's the perfect follow-on to last week's ep with Amie McNee. Yours Helpfully, Ed x Inside, we get into: Why “security” is the biggest scam going How to stop waiting for the right time Why rebellion isn’t reckless — it’s necessary How to back yourself (even when nobody else does) CONNECT WITH US 🔥 Follow That’s Helpful and Ed Stott on Instagram. 🔥 Find Ash at The Middle Finger Project website, or on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. BOOKS 📚 The Middle Finger Project by Ash Ambirge Got thoughts, ideas, or just want to yell "YES"? Email me: [email protected]

Tired of waiting for someone to give you a chance? This is how you stop waiting — and start doing. Whether you want to write, launch a project, change careers, or share your work with the world, this episode with author Amie McNee is your go-to guide. She shares how she stopped chasing permission, started backing herself, and built a creative career on her own terms — before anyone said yes. If you’ve been holding back on making something or becoming something because you're waiting to be picked… this is your sign to choose yourself. Yours helpfully, Ed x CHAPTERS 00:00 Living Between Two Worlds 01:47 The Essence of Art 06:22 Claiming Your Creative Identity 11:55 Self-Creation and Empowerment 17:14 Reclaiming Power as Creatives 22:41 Valuing Art Beyond Metrics 27:38 Taking Baby Steps in Creativity 29:31 The Power of Baby Steps in Creativity 32:24 Embracing Imperfection: The Art of Making Shitty Art 36:31 The Courage to Bomb: Lessons from Stand-Up Comedy 41:14 Vulnerability in the Creative Journey 45:50 The Transformative Power of Journaling BOOKSWe Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around & Make Something PODCASTS Ash Ambirge - Middle Finger Project Sam Reece - Shitty Craft Club  The Unpublished Podcast (with Amie & James) CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That’s Helpful on Instagram. Find me on Substack & YouTube. Follow Amie McNee on Instagram.

Back in 2015, journalist Gemma Hartley wrote an article for Harper’s Bazaar that went viral. The article was about emotional labor & it really hit home for so many people - in fact 2 BILLION people read it. It led to Gemma writing a book on the topic & coming up with some real solutions to this incredibly familiar experience. Gemma is the author of Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good. CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find Gemma on Instagram⁠ & via her website. BOOKS Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good. Want to become a podcast sponsor, got some feedback for me or just fancy a chat? Email me - [email protected] TIMESTAMPS 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:55 - The Mother’s Day that led Gemma to write the book 00:03:30 - What is emotional labor? 00:06:35 - Society assumes women are the default parent  00:08:00 - The mindset of ‘helping out’  00:10:40 - What happened when Gemma’s husband became the full time at home parent 00:12:30 - The response to ‘stop being such a control freak’ 00:15:00 - Setting shared standards 00:19:00 - Emotional labor for men in the dating period 00:21:12 - Why Gemma no longer asks for ‘help’ at home 00:25:11 - How to explain the problem without it becoming a fight 00:30:18 - Why taking on the emotional labor can make partners’ lives richer 00:33:15 - Having the expectation that this is going to require more than a single conversation 00:36:16 - Taking on the emotional labor of addressing emotional labor (!!) 00:40:30 - It’s okay to leave if someone isn’t meeting you where you are  

I feel like I've levelled up in every single way since becoming a mum. But when I was pregnant, I only saw the negatives of motherhood & it wasn't until I had my baby that I realised the true power of becoming a mum. I invited Lauren & Lucinda from Ready or Not Podcast (where they chat all things work & parenthood) on to have a chat about this revelation & explore all the ways they feel improved by becoming a mum. Send this inspo to all your pregnant & new mum friends - I promise they will thank you!!  Yours helpfully, Ed x CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Motherhood's Transformative Power 02:54 The Leveling Up Experience of Motherhood 06:06 Finding Your Voice Through Motherhood 09:02 The Shift in Identity and Purpose 12:13 Body Image and Self-Perception Post-Pregnancy 24:10 Navigating Guilt and Societal Expectations in Motherhood 27:47 Trusting Your Instincts: The Power of Intuition 31:53 Embracing Personal Growth Through Motherhood 36:20 The Creative Surge: Balancing Motherhood and Career 39:07 Reconciliation of Work and Motherhood 43:10 Empowerment and Community in Motherhood PODCASTSReady Or Not CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find me on Substack & Youtube. Find Ready or Not on Instagram This episode discusses: motherhood, transformation, leveling up, identity, self-perception, body image, motherhood journey, parenting, personal growth, empowerment, motherhood, intuition, personal growth, career, empowerment, societal expectations, work-life balance, creativity, self-care, community