Empty Nest: How to Cope When Your Teen Goes off to College or University. Vintage

Ask Rachel anythingIn this episode of Teenagers Untangled, we’re talking about what happens when the children we’ve poured our hearts, time, and energy into finally leave home. If you’re facing the prospect of a child heading off to university or moving out—and feeling anything from pride and excitement to grief, anxiety, or a loss of identity—this episode is for you.First, I revisit a powerful conversation with mindfulness coach Susie Asli, where we unpack empty nest syndrome:why feelings of grief, loneliness, or even physical symptoms like sleeplessness and nausea are a normal response,how your identity as a parent can feel shaken when your child leaves,and practical ways to prepare yourself emotionally, rebuild routines, and reconnect—with yourself, with your partner, and with your wider life.Then I speak with Hannah Bankier, a coach specialising in personal and professional transitions and founder of Birdie Launcher. Hannah invites us to rethink the very idea of an “empty nest” and instead see this stage as a launchpad—for our children and for ourselves. She shares:how to start preparing years before your child leaves,how to evolve your parenting from “controller” to “mentor,”how to co-create a new kind of relationship with your emerging adult,and how to rediscover your own purpose, joy, and identity beyond being “Mum.”You're not broken if you're feeling grief. You're ready to start a new chapter.Hannah BankierAll the tips from this episodeSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingA listener parenting a teen son wrote to say both of them felt pretty stunned when he was rejected from the university he'd set his heart on. She asked for the best way to help our teenagers cope with this sort of disappointment. I thought it was a great question and a good opportunity to also look at how we parents can best navigate when our teen has worked for years toward a dream - a top university place, exam results, a team, a part - and it doesn’t happen. The disappointment can feel earth‑shattering for them and gut‑wrenching for you.In this episode I talk with Dr Dominique Thompson, award‑winning GP and young people’s mental health expert, about how to support teenagers through big disappointments such as university rejection, exam failure, and missed opportunities – without rescuing them or minimising their feelings.We explore:What teens are actually grieving when things go wrong – including the loss of an imagined futureHow to validate their emotions while gently stopping catastrophic thinkingThe difference between building resilience and teaching kids to suppress their feelingsWhy today’s culture of perfectionism and “being the best” is driving anxiety, burnout and fear of failureHow to help teens separate self‑worth from grades, offers and achievementsPractical ways to prepare teens for university life, academic stress and independenceWhen dropping out isn’t the only option – how to press pause, get help and return strongerWhat to do if your teen feels “left behind” while friends move on to university or big opportunitiesHow parents can be a “safe harbour”: supportive, boundaried, and not adding their own disappointment to their teen’s loadIf you’re a parent wondering how to respond when your child says, “I’ve failed you,” or “There’s no point trying,” this conversation will give you concrete language, mindset shifts and step‑by‑step strategies to help them cope, reframe, and find a new path forward.Dr Dominique Thompson: is a multi-award winning former GP, young people's mental health expert, TEDx speaker, author and educator, with over two decades of NHS clinical experience.She is author of The Student Wellbeing Series for young people, and co-author of How to Grow a Grown Up (PenguinRandomHouse) for [email protected] https://www.instagram.com/drdomthompson/https://www.facebook.com/drdomthompson/https://www.linkedin.com/in/dominique-thompson/Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingSending your teen off to university can feel both exciting and terrifying. In this episode of Parenting Teenagers Untangled, I talk with my 19-year-old daughter Phoebe, home after her first year at Oxford University, about what parents really need to know to prepare their teens for university life. We cover the big worries parents Google most: how teens make friends in Freshers’ Week, coping with the academic workload, dealing with drinking, drugs and peer pressure, managing money and budgeting, handling homesickness and mental health, and how to balance independence with safety.If you’re wondering how to support your child’s transition to university without being overbearing—and how to trust them while still keeping them safe—this honest, practical conversation will give you clear guidance, real examples, and reassuring perspective from both a parent and a student.Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingAre you tired of yelling at your teen – and hating yourself afterwards?In this episode of Teenagers Untangled, I talked with parenting and relationship coach Diane Sorensen about how to stay calm with teens, stop power struggles, and set healthy boundaries without becoming a pushover.If you’re dealing with eye-rolling, “disrespectful” attitudes, shouting matches, and constant tension at home, this conversation will help you:Understand why you get so triggered by your teen’s behaviorShift from controlling behavior to nurturing real connectionUse simple emotional regulation tools to pause before you explodeTell the difference between calm parenting and permissive parentingCreate healthy boundaries that reduce resentment and build trustRepair after you’ve shouted and show your teen that change is possibleWe talk about creating boundaries, unpack practical strategies like the PARR method (Pause, Acknowledge, Respond, Reflect), how to reframe “disrespect” as information, and why owning your triggers is the fastest way to transform your relationship with your teen. If you’ve ever thought, “I promised I wouldn’t parent like this, but I don’t know how to stop,” this episode is for you.Diane SorensenSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingIf you’ve ever fallen in love with someone who already has children, or tried to blend two families and thought, “Why is this so hard? What’s wrong with me?” – this episode is for you. You are not broken, and you are definitely not alone.I was joined by Masha Rusanov, coach, writer, and author of Repatterned.Together we unpack:Why step‑parenting can feel so emotionally different from parenting your biological childrenHow to prioritise connection before correction with bonus kidsThe idea of “natural parenting” – why step‑parents shouldn’t be the main disciplinariansWhat healthy co‑parenting and emotional regulation look like when there are exes, new partners, and multiple households in the mixPractical, everyday strategies to reduce conflict and build trust over timeClick here for all of the tips from the episodeWhether you’re a step‑parent, a biological parent in a blended family, or you co‑parent across different homes, this conversation will help you feel seen, supported, and better equipped for the long game.Masha RusanovSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingAre women naturally good at being mothers or is that a cultural myth? It matters because if we believe women are naturally good at it then they deserve no kudos for the work they do and when we do struggle it lays the blame firmly at our feet, rather than the society we live in. In this episode, I was joined by historian and postnatal practitioner Alex Bollen, author of Motherdom, to unpack the “good mother” myths shaping our culture—and our guilt. We challenge the idea that care is “natural,” reveal how shaky science and social media fuel certainty and shame, and show why there’s no single right way to raise teens. You’ll learn practical tools to lower pressure at home: the weekly myth check, the “misery test” for your to‑do list, stress reframes that build resilience, and village-building strategies that widen support for you and your child. Step away from perfection, toward curiosity and community—and parent your teen with more calm, confidence, and kindness.Read the episode write-up hereSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingWelcome to a special mini-series from Teenagers Untangled — seven simple, practical "parenting seeds" to plant over a week, preparing for when your child moves into secondary school or returns from summer. These are gentle shifts, not rules to perfect: They're designed to help you focus on what really matters, and reduce your stress. They'll help you to move from fixing problems to mentoring your child, build emotional safety at home, and give your teen the confidence to make good choices. These are the big picture things I wish I had known much earlier in the teen years.If you'd like an early release of this information and daily email reminders as the series unfolds, and more support, join me on SubstackSeven seeds:Changing gears: be explicit about the shift in your parenting from monitoring to mentoring. Make home safe and predictable: create routines and anchors so home feels stable amid constant change.Catch them doing good: notice and praise strengths to build a positive identity and reduce fear of mistakes.Listen until they feel understood (LUFU): use super silence and active listening; summarise and ask before offering advice.Model what you want to see: especially with technology: demonstrate the habits you want your teen to adopt.Be curious about yourself: notice triggers, respond with curiosity not criticism, and model emotional regulation.Talk to your kids before others do: proactively discuss vaping, pornography, nudes, drugs, alcohol and groomers. Role-play responses so they’re prepared before they come under pressure.Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingAnnouncing my summer top tips series where I give you a short episode of tips organised around themes to help you focus on what you and your tween or teen needs to prepare you for the new school year.Make sure you’re following the show to ensure you don’t miss any and if you want to get them early and have the tips delivered weekly directly to you just click here Send me the free newsletter and enter our email address. You’ll get them straight to your mailbox. The tips start next week, in the meantime here’s a rerun of the Reading Festival episode because I’ve had so much amazing feedback on it:Music festivals are a rite of passage for many teens. Whilst some love the music, the lack of restriction and opportunities to mingle in a way that they could have only dreamt of during Covid, others decide to give them a miss or go and positively hate the experience. I was never a festival kid growing up. I didn't have the money, or the opportunity. As an adult, I've found them to be joyous events, but will always refuse to stay the night. My girls have now both been to one of the key UK festivals, Reading, so I thought you might be interested to hear more about what to expect if your kids are keen to go, how best to plan ahead, and what the key issues turned out to be.  Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingSeven in ten teenagers say they're very or extremely interested in investing. Not just curious, genuinely, actively interested. The problem is that most of us parents didn't become aware of investing until we were young adults or older, and half of parents say they wish they'd started sooner. That's a regret a lot of us are carrying around quietly, and without realising it, some of us are passing that same late start on to our kids.Teenagers today aren't waiting. They're already getting an education, just not necessarily the right one. They're watching creators on TikTok and YouTube who make it sound like picking the right crypto coin at the right moment is basically a personality trait. They're seeing posts about teens who turned a hundred pounds into ten thousand, and almost nothing about the ones who lost everything trying. It's exciting, it's fast, and it's completely untethered from the basics that actually build long-term wealth.That's why I invited Sonia Beardsmore, mum, former professional, institutional trader, and author of the book Raise a Mini Investor to talk to us about how we can discuss investing with our kids, how to start them young, and what a difference the deep financial literacy they can build while they're young and curious could really make in the long term. Sonia BeardsmorePrevious episode about pocket moneySupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExam stress — are your teen’s exams quietly overwhelming them (and you)?In this episode of Teenagers Untangled I spoke with Katherine Radice, author of The Parent’s Guide to Exam Stress, to explore:* Why teens withdraw and how parental questions can shut down conversations about school* What makes exams uniquely stressful (risk, public outcomes, long timelines)* How parents can build calm, constructive conversations and listen so teens feel safe to share* Practical strategies: establishing effective work habits, rewarding effort vs. outcomes, scaffolding responsibility, and iterative trial-and-review methods for study* Handling struggles: when to improve school support vs. when to build strengths outside school (hobbies, status, resilience)* The “burden of praise” and how to praise in ways that empower rather than create anxiety* Managing parental anxiety: how to consult teens, stay reflective, and help them learn to cope with uncertainty and setbacksWhy it’s vital to listen:Exams affect more than grades — they shape teens’ confidence, relationships, and long-term coping skills.This episode gives us evidence-based, compassionate tools to support teens without becoming the “revision police,” reduce household stress, and help young people develop resilience that lasts beyond exam results.Contact Katharine:https://katharineradice.co.uk/Top tips from this episode:https://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/the-biggest-cause-of-stress-for-teens?r=2u24i0&utm_medium=iosSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk