You've Been Dealing With Wins and Losses Wrong (Here's How to Fix It) | Bar from Kansas Kash

Down 29 points. NBA Finals. Madison Square Garden. The whole city watching. And after the game, somebody asked Jalen Brunson straight up, did the thought of losing cross your mind? He said yes. And then he said something most people missed, because they were too busy celebrating the comeback. In this episode, I break down exactly what Brunson said after the largest comeback in NBA Finals history, and why it matters more for your development as a competitor than the comeback itself. This is not a game recap. This is a mental performance breakdown that every serious athlete needs to hear. Most competitors have been told their whole career to block out the negative thoughts, stay positive, and push through it. But that approach is exactly what causes athletes to tighten up in the moments that matter most. Brunson did something different. And I'm going to walk you through what it was, why it works, and how you can start training the same mental state before your next game. We get into: What Brunson said on Inside the NBA that nobody is talking about Why fighting your thoughts under pressure makes everything worse The difference between an athlete who shrinks in big moments and one who shows up How to build the mental state that makes you dangerous when everything is on the line The mental game is a skill. And like any skill, it has to be trained before you need it. If this episode hits for you, The Pressure Protocol is your next step. It's a free audio training and guided pre-game visualization track built specifically for competitors who want to stop fighting pressure and start using it. Three mental shifts and one visualization that change how you show up when everything is on the line. Go get it at imnotyou.com/pressure.

Kobe said it best: the key to mental toughness is not getting too high or too low. Stay even keel. But most competitors never actually figure out how to do that, because they never deal with their relationship to wins and losses. In this episode, we break down exactly how a Killa celebrates a win and how a Killa learns from a loss. Not the feel-good version. The real version. The one that actually makes you better. Most people celebrate wrong. They feel good, reward themselves, and let the win write checks their habits haven't earned. Most people process losses wrong too. They sulk, dodge accountability, blame outside circumstances, or rush to conclusions that protect their ego instead of building their game. Killas do something different. They collect data on their wins. They feel the pain of a loss without letting it attach to their identity. They take responsibility without shame. And they get back in the fight quickly, but not in a hurry. Rudyard Kipling said, "If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two impostors the same." That's the standard. Wins and losses are just information. How you use them is everything. All we do is learn and win. That's it. DOMINANCE DOMINANCE is a 9-month live coaching experience where Niyi Sobo walks you step by step through the internal work required to break the hidden patterns keeping you stuck, rebuild your identity from the root, and lead yourself at the highest level. This is not motivation. This is reconstruction. Ready to do the work? Enroll at imnotyou.com/coaching

You want that Super Bowl ring? Then trying is going to get you killed out here. I'm not talking about the literal Super Bowl. I'm talking about YOUR Super Bowl — whatever that thing is you're chasing that represents greatness in your sport, your career, your life. That thing you KNOW you're capable of but haven't grabbed yet. Here's the problem. You're trying. And trying is weak. Trying says I'm not sure. I might fail. I'll take action, but I don't really believe it'll work. That doubt bleeds into every rep, every decision, every moment that matters. It's like strapping 20-pound ankle weights on before the biggest game of your life. You're dragging yourself before you even start. Competition is not waiting for you to figure it out. Your opponents have already decided. And a lifestyle of trying is just a lifestyle of failing on repeat. In this episode I break down exactly what it takes to stop trying and start operating like someone who has actually decided to be great — how to clarify what's really required, build a real plan, and create the accountability systems that keep you moving whether you win or lose. And if you're ready to stop playing around and actually commit to the process — get into Killer Instinct. It's my system built specifically for competitive athletes who want clarity, structure, and the confidence to perform when it matters most. Go to imnotyou.com/coaching and book a call with me. Let's get to work.

Everyone can perform when life is easy. The real question is: What happens when you're down 30 points? What happens when the bills are piling up, motivation disappears, the results aren't coming, and every part of you wants to quit? In this episode, I break down the essential skills required to dominate under pressure. Not dominance as a feeling. Not dominance as confidence. But dominance as the ability to keep moving forward until you get what you want. You'll learn: Why most people quit long before they fail How to regulate your body when stress takes over How to separate reality from the stories you tell yourself Why the meaning you attach to events determines your future How to identify self-sabotaging behaviors in real time The skill of responding to setbacks, losses, and adversity How to create momentum when none exists Why high-quality action matters more than motivation The mindset required to persist until completion The goal is not to win one game. The goal is to become the type of person who wins as a pattern. A lifestyle of dominance. A lifestyle of growth. A lifestyle of self-mastery. If you're tired of starting over, tired of quitting on yourself, and ready to develop the skills required to dominate in every area of life, this episode is for you. Ready to Go Deeper? I've opened applications for DOMINANCE: A System for Self-Mastery—my live coaching program designed to help competitors master their internal world, eliminate self-sabotage, and develop true dominance in every area of life. Apply for a call and see if you're a fit: imnotyou.com/coaching

This episode is built around one central truth: Self-respect is not a feeling. It's an internal agreement. Most people think self-respect is confidence, discipline, or a list of good habits. But real self-respect goes deeper than behavior. It's the internal standard that governs how you treat yourself, what you tolerate, the boundaries you enforce, and the choices you make when fear, emotion, or pressure try to pull you away from your worth. In this episode, I break down: What self-respect actually is Why many people unknowingly disrespect themselves How your worth became tied to external validation The connection between self-respect, boundaries, and enforcement The 3 Levels of Self-Respect The habits and patterns that quietly destroy self-respect How to build a life rooted in alignment, principle, and Self-leadership This is not motivation. This is about rebuilding the relationship you have with yourself. Because your life will always organize itself around the level of self-respect you truly have. If you're ready to stop betraying yourself, stop living from fear, and develop real Self-mastery, apply for Dominance — my coaching system designed to help you understand your psyche, break destructive patterns, and lead yourself at the highest level. Apply here: imnotyou.com/coaching  

For years, I taught athletes and high performers how to access Killer Instinct — how to lock in, perform under pressure, and compete at a high level. But after going through one of the hardest seasons of my life, I realized something deeper: Performance strategies alone are not enough. Because no matter how ambitious, disciplined, or talented you are… if the patterns underneath the surface remain the same, your life will eventually reflect those patterns. Self-doubt. Pressure. Emotional inconsistency. Overthinking. Avoidance. Self-sabotage. Fear. Internal conflict. The inability to access your highest level consistently. And most people never truly transform because they never learn how to go inward and confront what's actually driving them. That journey is what led me to create Dominance. Dominance is a transformational coaching experience designed to help you master your internal world, break destructive patterns, develop true self-leadership, and create alignment in every area of your life. This is not surface-level self-help. This is not temporary motivation. And this is not another "positive thinking" program. This is deep identity-level work for people who know there is another level inside of them — and are ready to do the work required to unlock it. In this episode, I break down: What Dominance really is Why most people stay stuck The hidden internal patterns sabotaging growth My personal journey that led to creating this system Who Dominance is for — and who it's not for If something inside of you knows it's time for another level… Apply for Dominance here: imnotyou.com/coaching Spots will be limited, enrollment will only be open for a short time, and once this process begins, I do not plan on opening it again for a long time. It's time to stop living beneath your true level. It's time for Dominance.

DAY 4 of The Dominance Blueprint. Everybody says they want self-mastery. Everybody says they want change. Everybody says they want the truth. Until the truth becomes uncomfortable. In this episode, we talk about why awareness is so difficult… and why most people stay trapped in the same emotional loops, habits, fears, and patterns for their entire lives. Because the patterns sabotaging your progress do not want to be seen. They will distract you. Justify themselves. Convince you to avoid the truth. Convince you to stay unconscious. This is why people avoid conversations. Avoid data. Avoid accountability. Avoid silence. Avoid themselves. And even when they KNOW what they're doing is hurting them… they still keep doing it. Why? Because true growth requires you to sit with what your awareness reveals. That is difficult. That creates resistance. That creates discomfort. But the resistance is not proof you're failing. The resistance is proof you're finally getting close to the truth. In this episode, I break down: Why awareness is painful Why most people unconsciously avoid the truth How emotional patterns protect themselves from exposure Why self-help and positive thinking fail long term What "hypnotic rhythm" really is How awareness slows life down enough for you to finally see the pattern Why awareness is the foundation of Dominance How awareness allows you to reclaim your true expression underneath the conditioning I also share lessons from my NFL experience and explain why veterans make the game look slow — not because the game changed, but because their awareness did. That same awareness can be developed internally. The more aware you become, the more clearly you begin to see: the masks the protectors the fears the conditioning the patterns that are standing between you and your true self And once you can truly see them… you can finally begin changing them. Tomorrow is the final episode of the series. I'm going to show you how to practically rebuild your internal world the same way you would rebuild your body in the gym. A systematic process for building elite awareness, retraining your patterns, and taking authority over your internal world. That is where Dominance truly begins.

DAY 3 of The Dominance Blueprint. Most people think dominance is confidence, motivation, positive thinking, or "feeling locked in." But if that were true… why do you keep losing the feeling? Why do the same patterns keep returning? Why does self sabotage keep showing up? Why do you know what to do… but still don't do it? Because positive thinking is not awareness. Positive thinking tries to override the signal. Awareness investigates it. In this episode, I break down the single most important skill in building Dominance: AWARENESS. Not meditation. Not empty mindfulness. Not "just think positive." Real awareness. The kind that allows you to identify the loops, protectors, fears, and unconscious patterns that have been running your life beneath the surface. Because without awareness, you have no chance. You cannot lead what you refuse to look at. In this episode, we talk about: Why self-help often fails The difference between awareness and positive thinking Why your emotional reactions are signals, not enemies How protectors operate like overactive smoke alarms Why your patterns keep repeating The role awareness plays in destroying and rebuilding your internal world The questions you must begin asking yourself daily The goal is not to silence the signal. The goal is to understand what's actually happening beneath it. Tomorrow, we go even deeper: Why awareness is difficult… and why most people stay trapped in the same patterns for life. If you're ready to stop unconsciously obeying your conditioning and begin building real internal authority, this episode is for you.

Most athletes think their problem is confidence, discipline, focus, or mindset. So they try positive thinking. Visualization. Motivation. Meditation. More work. More pressure. And sometimes it helps… For a little while. Then the same fear, tension, self-doubt, overthinking, and self-sabotaging habits come right back. Why? Because those patterns were never random. They were built years ago to protect you. In Day 2 of The Dominance Blueprint, I break down why traditional mindset work often fails athletes, and why trying to "fight" your negative thoughts and emotions usually makes them stronger. You'll learn: Why pressure-filled habits become wired into your system How fear of failure and disapproval shape performance Why self-criticism becomes addictive The hidden connection between childhood pressure and present-day performance anxiety Why your bad habits aren't "bad",  they're protective The real reason athletes start hating the sport they once loved This episode will completely change the way you look at confidence, mindset, and self-mastery. And tomorrow, we'll talk about what actually works.

This is Day 1 of a 5-part series on Dominance.....and Dominance isn't what you think it is. It's not control. It's not force. It's not grinding yourself into the ground trying to prove something. Dominance is a state of being. It's you, fully expressed, fully present, fully in control of your internal world. You've felt it before. In business, when you're locked in and creating effortlessly. In sport, when everything clicks and you're unstoppable. No fear. No pressure. No noise. Just you. And then… it disappears. You go back to the default: Pressure. Doubt. Self-judgment. That constant feeling that something's off, even when you're winning. That's not dominance. That's conditioning. In this episode, I'm breaking down what dominance actually is, why you keep losing access to it, and what's really driving your behavior underneath the surface. Because until you understand what's happening inside you… You'll keep chasing something you can't hold. CTA: Pay attention today: What emotions keep showing up for you? How do you feel when you win? What pressure is always there in the background? Tomorrow, we break down what people try to do to create dominance, and why it never works.