285: Sex Addiction, Shame and Betrayal with Duane Osterlind

Duane Osterlind is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in helping people overcome sex addiction. He explains that sex addiction is a way to get connection and intimacy but remains unfulfilling and compulsive. Duane explains that it's essential to understand how shame factors into sex addiction and that dealing with shame is crucial to recovery. He also talks about how it affects partners and the trauma of betrayal. But that a marriage can survive, and someone can recover from sex addiction. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Early sobriety is a unique experience, not to be judged or assumed as a reflection of the long term. Veronica shared her insights into the processes that unfold in the first year. The physical changes, the brain's self-repair, and the emotional processes are all part of this unique journey. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Artist and director of the Create Now Academy Sarah Gillespie joins Veronica to discuss The Call of the Self. How addiction prevents us being who we really are. And that the calling of an artist is the same as the calling to stop drinking. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Breaking the cycle of drinking - Bonus episode Sign up here: https://go.soberful.com/break-the-cycle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Veronica breaks down why emotional sobriety is essential if you want to stay sober, what it is and how it works. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we are going to learn what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who is deep into addiction. Imagine being a young woman who gets involved with an older man who dazzles her. Imagine that you get pregnant by that man, and despite promising that he would stand by you, he, in fact, abandons you and denies paternity. Imagine that man gets sober and remarries, and his whole family pretends that you and your child don't exist. Imagine that man is the son of the most powerful man on earth. Today, we are going to hear Lunden Roberts's story. Lunden is the mother of a little girl named Navy, whose father is Hunter Biden and whose grandfather is President Joe Biden. Lunden Roberts has written a book called Out of the Shadows, which details her dysfunctional relationship with Hunter, his constant fear of being the family black sheep, and Lunden's fight to have the Biden family recognise her daughter. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know if you are one? Chip takes Veronica through the criteria you need to meet to find out how serious your alcohol problem is. The outcome will shock you. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Codependency is the fear of someone else's feelings. Veronica does a deep-dive with Dr. Sarah Michaud who talks about her book 'Co-crazy - One Psychologist's Recovery from Codependency and Addiction. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode, Veronica explains why an alcohol problem appears on the inside long before it appears on the outside. Most people think an alcohol problem is a homeless person or someone who gets DUIs. Veronica explains how that is misleading, and an alcohol problem shows up in our feelings (shame, guilt, fear, anxiety) long before anyone can see it. We become adept at hiding how we feel and what is happening. She also explains how no one realises when their drinking crosses the line, from drinking to having fun to needing a drink to cope. This episode will help anyone who is wondering about their drinking and wants to truly understand that getting sober is 10% not drinking alcohol and 90% emotional sobriety. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An alcohol problem shows up on the inside long before it shows up on the outside. When people saw Julie, she looked like an attractive, busy mom who had everything: a great husband, a business and a great lifestyle. What they couldn't see was how she felt on the inside, the shame, self-loathing and guilt from her drinking. Julie looked for help from a wellness professional who told her to drink organic wine as it was better for you and from a therapist who told her as she didn't drink in secret, she couldn't have a problem. But Julie knew she did. She finally stopped two years ago and has been on a journey of self-discovery ever since. Her husband now tells her she is way more fun sober. Julie is like so many women, quietly struggling and falling apart and using alcohol as a way to reward herself for just surviving the day. Her story will inspire you. To learn more, visit the show notes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices