Sherapy Sessions: Cutting Toxic Family Ties podkast

The Courtroom as the New Arena: How Abusers Manipulate Family Court with Courtney Gilmartin (Bonus Episode 39)

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When you separate from an abuser, the abuse doesn’t always end, it often shifts to the courtroom.

In this powerful episode, Dr. Sherrie sits down with Courtney Gilmartin, a Family Court Strategist and certified Trauma-Informed Coach, to expose how toxic individuals manipulate the legal system to continue their patterns of control, power, and psychological abuse.

We dive deep into DARVO: the tactic of Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, and how it plays out in real-time during custody battles, hearings, and false accusations. This isn’t a legal discussion, it is a psychological and strategic one. If you’re a survivor navigating family court, this conversation is a lifeline.

🔍 What You’ll Learn:

🍏 What DARVO looks like in the courtroom

🍏 How toxic exes use false allegations, court manipulation, and smear campaigns to maintain control

🍏 Why staying calm is a strategic power move, not just emotional regulation

🍏The key to beating lies: emotionless, project-manager style documentation

🍏Practical trauma-informed tools to prepare for court, protect your kids, and preserve your peace

🍏How to reclaim agency and stop reacting to every legal threat thrown your way


Courtney Gilmartin is a leading Family Court Strategist, certified Trauma-Informed Coach, and a fierce advocate working to protect domestic abuse survivors and their children through systemic and legislative change. After experiencing a near decade-long custody battle and post-separation abuse, she turned her pain into purpose and founded Monarch Consulting Group. Her unique approach combines over 20 years of operations management in fast-paced tech startups with the critical learnings she identified while navigating the Family Court system. A tireless advocate, she lobbied extensively for New Jersey's coercive control bill, which was codified into law in 2024. After helping countless women, she has become a sought-after expert on how abusers weaponize the family court process and how to combat this abuse.

Her proprietary Monarch Method™ was built to fill a critical gap she identified in her own journey: the need for a sustainable system that empowers survivors by turning their lived experiences into compelling, evidence-based proof. This framework provides the foundation required to shift from a reactive to a proactive strategy, and the strategic advantage required to counter an abuser’s tactics and secure safer, more favorable outcomes in Family Court.


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Episode Sponsor:

Betterhelp

Going to therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. My sponsor BetterHelp makes therapy simple, with 10% off your first month to help you get started:

https://betterhelp.com/drsherrie

BetterHelp, founded in 2013, is the world’s largest online therapy platform, offering accessible, affordable, and personalized mental health care.

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MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

📌 [Expert] Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola - https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

📌 [Book] The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller - https://www.amazon.com/Drama-Gifted-Child-Search-True/dp/0465012612

📌 [Book] Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life (Interpersonal Violence) by Evan Stark - https://www.amazon.com/Coercive-Control-Personal-Interpersonal-Violence/dp/0195384040

📌 [Expert] Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD - https://www.jjfreyd.com/darvo

📌 [Non-profit] New Jersey Protective Moms (NJPM) - https://www.njprotectivemoms.org/


CONNECT WITH COURTNEY:

📌 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/courtney-gilmartin-780058176/

📌 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/courtney.gilmartin/

📌 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/courtneye.gilmartin/


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