Why Prioritizing Sexual Pleasure Makes You Healthier (Backed by Science) | ft. Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Join the SmartSX Membership: https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/ In this data-packed episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily sits down with social psychologist and Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller to break down what science actually tells us about our sexual fantasies, kinks, and casual hookups. This conversation is full of insights that will make you rethink what's "normal" in bed, and help you embrace your desires with more compassion and clarity. Dr. Lehmiller reveals the most common sexual fantasies (hint: kink is more mainstream than you think) and explains what our fantasies say about our emotional needs and life history. We explore the truth about gender differences in fantasies, how to safely explore kink and consensual non-monogamy, and research on why some people thrive with casual sex while others don't. This episode covers practical tips for talking about fantasies with your partner without shame or pressure, plus why self-awareness (not fantasy content) is the key to sexual fulfillment. Whether you're curious about exploring fantasies, navigating open relationships, or just want to understand the psychology of desire, this conversation brings research and real talk together in a way that's both validating and thought-provoking. Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction & The Kink Revolution 4:07 - Fantasy vs Reality: The Threesome Gap 11:43 - Why Gay Men Have Better Threesomes  18:17 - What Gay vs Straight Men Really Have in Common  25:04 - The Kinsey Scale & Sexual Fluidity Explained  31:20 - Friends with Benefits: What Actually Works  35:00 - The Couples Vibrator Study Results  37:45 - Dutch Sex Education: What America Gets Wrong  44:13 - How to Talk to Kids About Masturbation  48:51 - Quickfire Questions: Turn-Ons, Turn-Offs & Sex Advice

Join the SmartSX Membership: https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this powerful episode of Sex with Emily, the magnetic Lizzy Jeff—rap priestess, medicine woman, and founder of Zen & Kush—joins Dr. Emily to dive into the world of cannabis and sensuality. Together, they unpack how CBD and THC can elevate sexual connection, unlock pleasure, and serve as sacred tools for healing and embodiment. Lizzy shares her personal journey with yoni oils, cannabis suppositories, and sacred self-touch, revealing how cannabis can enhance arousal, deepen orgasms, and help you stay present during intimate moments. We explore the power of mirror work, daily sensual rituals, and breath as tools for embodiment, plus how to set up a sex magic practice for manifestation. This episode covers practical guidance on strains, dosage, and product quality, while addressing common concerns like dry mouth, vaginal dryness, and staying present during sex. Lizzy's radiant energy and wisdom shine through as she explains how cannabis can be used intentionally to expand your sexual repertoire and connect with your most authentic, sensual self. Whether you're cannabis-curious, cautious, or already exploring plant medicine in the bedroom, this conversation is full of inspiration and practical tools to help you discover new dimensions of connection and pleasure. From the science of how THC and CBD affect your body to the spiritual aspects of sacred sexuality, this episode offers a holistic approach to cannabis and intimacy. Timestamps: 0:01 - Setting Intentions with Cannabis 1:06 - Meet Lizzy Jeff: Rap Priestess & Medicine Woman 4:07 - Cannabis & Sex: Personal Experiences 6:46 - "Big Pussy Energy" & Confidence 12:06 - Staying Present During Sex: Mantras & Practices 17:12 - Daily Body Connection Practices 22:14 - Handling Cannabis Side Effects 24:05 - Why Sex Is Better High & Strain Recommendations 29:48 - Quick Fire Questions 32:13 - Sex Magic: Manifesting Through Pleasure

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Join Dr. Emily as she sits down with meditation teacher, speaker, and author Light Watkins to explore how mindfulness and meditation can transform your relationships and sex life. From creating space in relationships to finding authentic happiness, this conversation dives deep into practical tools for better living and loving. Light Watkins is a bestselling author, accomplished meditation teacher, and founder of the Shine Movement. He's an inspirational keynote speaker and workshop leader who has delivered wellness-themed talks around the globe. Timestamps [8:24] - Emily's personal meditation journey [10:01] - How meditation creates space between offense and reaction in relationships [14:55] - The correlation between meditation and sex [21:02] - Light's accountability hack [31:04] - Why happiness is like doing a pull-up [38:47] - How meditation changed Light's approach to sexual connection and intimacy [41:01] - Split-testing your inner voices [45:35] - The gratitude algorithm [52:52] - Quickie Questions

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this episode of Sex with Emily, world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel joins us for an intimate conversation about the complexities of modern love, desire, and relationships. From her groundbreaking work on infidelity to her insights on maintaining passion in long-term partnerships, Esther shares the wisdom that has helped millions navigate the tension between security and excitement in love. We explore Esther's core philosophy that desire is not something you have—it's something you cultivate. She breaks down the fundamental paradox of modern relationships: love seeks closeness and security, while desire craves space, novelty, and mystery. We discuss how to integrate these opposing forces and why the question "Can you want what you already have?" is central to sustaining passion over time. Esther reveals why eroticism is truly a state of mind, how pleasure connects directly to self-worth, and her revolutionary perspective on infidelity—that sometimes people don't go elsewhere to find another person, but to find another version of themselves. We also dive into her new card game "Where Should We Begin," designed to foster vulnerability and deep connection through storytelling. This conversation addresses the unrealistic expectations we place on one partner to be our everything, practical tools for managing relationship anxiety, and why modern love requires us to calibrate rather than abandon our expectations. Whether you're single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Esther's insights offer a roadmap for creating more authentic, passionate connections. Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - The evolution from duty to desire 8:02 - Can we experience desire and deep love simultaneously? 11:20 - "I turn myself off when..." vs "I turn myself on when..." 16:00 - Pleasure vs. performance 19:09 - The ice cream exercise 25:52 - One person can't be everything 31:14 - Understanding infidelity 35:10 - Playing the relationship game 44:00 - Dealing with anxiety in love

Join the SmartSX Membership: https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Sign up for Dr. Emily's newsletter at sexwithemily.com for free guides, articles, and more ways to prioritize your pleasure and relationships. In this transformative episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily explores how our earliest childhood experiences create patterns that show up in our adult relationships and sex lives. This deep dive into attachment theory, trauma responses, and relationship patterns reveals why we often find ourselves repeating the same relationship dynamics over and over again. Dr. Emily breaks down the science behind how our nervous systems record experiences from the third trimester of pregnancy through early childhood, creating unconscious blueprints for how we navigate love, intimacy, and connection as adults. She explains the difference between explicit memories (things we consciously remember) and implicit memories (body-based memories that influence our behavior without our awareness). This episode unpacks common relationship patterns including the caretaker who becomes resentful, the person who chases unavailable partners, the over-communicator paired with someone who stonewalls, and the chameleon who loses themselves in relationships. Through real listener examples, Dr. Emily illustrates how childhood experiences of co-regulation (or lack thereof) shape our adult attachment styles. Key topics include understanding your primary unmet needs, recognizing "trauma tingles" versus genuine attraction, the difference between healthy novelty and addiction to drama, and why some people are drawn to emotional unpredictability. Dr. Emily also explores how these patterns specifically impact sexual connection, including dissociation during intimacy and the challenge of staying present with a partner. The episode offers practical tools for identifying your own patterns, understanding the difference between internal and external processing styles, recognizing stonewalling versus healthy space-taking, and beginning to heal these deeply ingrained responses. This conversation provides essential insights for anyone who wants to understand why they keep attracting the same types of partners or repeating familiar relationship dynamics. Let's get social: Instagram / sexwithemily X / sexwithemily Facebook / sexwithemily TikTok / sexwithemily Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here - https://sexwithemily.com/text Timestamps: [0:00] - Introduction [15:20] - The Science of Early Memory Formation [18:50] - Common Pattern #1: The Caretaker Who Becomes Resentful [28:50] - Common Pattern #2: Chasing Unavailable Partners [39:00] - The Art of Staying Present in Relationships [43:20] - Common Pattern #3: Over-Communication vs. Stonewalling [52:40] - Common Pattern #4: The Chameleon Effect [56:00] - Trauma Tingles vs. Real Attraction [1:04:15] - The Performance Trap in Dating

Join the SmartSX Membership: https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Sign up for Dr. Emily's newsletter at sexwithemily.com for free guides, articles, and more ways to prioritize your pleasure and relationships. In this powerful episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily sits down with Jeffrey Marsh, the first openly non-binary public figure interviewed on national television, author of "How to Be You," and a Zen-trained meditation teacher who has helped millions embrace self-acceptance. This conversation goes deep into identity, authenticity, and the radical act of loving yourself exactly as you are. Jeffrey shares their journey from childhood feelings of not fitting into traditional gender roles to becoming a leading voice for non-binary visibility and self-compassion. We explore the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation, the importance of using correct pronouns as basic respect, and how Jeffrey's 20+ years of Zen practice has shaped their approach to self-love and helping others break free from shame. This episode addresses the real challenges of coming out, setting boundaries with family, and the courage it takes to live authentically in a world that often demands conformity. Jeffrey offers practical wisdom on moving from self-criticism to self-acceptance, why asking for what you need is essential for healthy relationships, and how their work helps people - especially parents - learn to support LGBTQ+ loved ones. Whether you're exploring your own identity, supporting someone in your life, or simply want to understand how to love yourself more fully, this conversation offers profound insights on breaking free from societal expectations and embracing your authentic self. Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here - https://sexwithemily.com/text

In this episode of Sex with Emily, renowned psychiatrist and brain expert Dr. Daniel Amen joins us to explore how our "hidden dragons", the unconscious patterns from our past, are secretly controlling our happiness, relationships, and sex lives. Based on his latest book, "Your Brain is Always Listening," Dr. Amen reveals how childhood experiences, family trauma, and even ancestral patterns get written into our brains and show up in our intimate relationships. We dive deep into the most common dragons people face, including the anxious dragon, the abandoned and insignificant dragon, and the codependent dragon. Dr. Amen shares his personal journey with these patterns and explains how understanding your dragons can transform not just your mental health, but your sexual wellness too. We explore the connection between brain health and sexual function, why ADD can impact orgasms, and how negative thought patterns become "bad habits" that sabotage intimacy. This episode includes practical tools like positivity bias training, the power of rewriting your story, and specific breathing techniques that can reset your nervous system. Dr. Amen also addresses a listener's question about cheating addiction and explains how brain scans revealed the neurological patterns behind compulsive behavior. Whether you're struggling with commitment issues, sexual anxiety, or just want to understand how your brain affects your love life, this conversation offers both scientific insights and actionable strategies for creating healthier relationships. Show Notes: 00:00 - Introduction to Hidden Dragons 01:02 - Dr. Amen's Personal Dragon Story 04:40 - The Abandoned & Insignificant Dragon 08:26 - Most Common Dragons People Face 11:07 - The Ancestral Dragon & Epigenetics 14:18 - Rewriting Your Story & Focus 16:06 - Positivity Bias Training 19:07 - Happiness as Moral Obligation 21:22 - Brain Health & Sexual Function 24:02 - Building Better Mental Habits 27:59 - Listener Q&A: Cheating Addiction 35:12 - ADD & Relationships 38:20 - ADD & Female Orgasms 40:30 - Breathing Techniques for Regulation Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text

In this episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily sits down with Mistress Justine Cross, a professional dominatrix, educator, and owner of Dungeon East in Los Angeles, to demystify BDSM and power play. From breaking down what BDSM actually means to exploring how anyone can safely incorporate kink into their sex lives, Justine shares over a decade of experience helping people discover their desires without judgment. We dive deep into the realities of professional domination, debunking myths perpetuated by "50 Shades of Gray" and explaining why BDSM is far more psychological than physical. Justine walks us through the importance of consent, negotiation, and boundaries, revealing how these skills enhance not just kinky encounters but all intimate relationships. We explore everything from beginner-friendly activities to advanced practices like chastity training and post-orgasm torture. This episode addresses common concerns about introducing kink to partners, finding compatible people who share your interests, and the difference between healthy exploration and unhealthy dynamics. Whether you're completely new to BDSM or looking to deepen your understanding, Justine provides practical advice for safe, consensual exploration while emphasizing that great kink—like great sex—is built on communication, trust, and mutual respect. Show Notes:  00:00 - Introduction to BDSM and Power Play  02:13 - Defining BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Dominance & Submission  04:09 - Professional Domination: What Really Happens  07:10 - Debunking 50 Shades Myths  12:37 - The Omakase Approach: Exploring What You Like  16:01 - Orgasm Control and Chastity Training 18:16 - Communication: Talking to Partners About Kink  22:07 - BDSM 101: Starting Your Journey  25:32 - Creating Beautiful, Accessible Kink Spaces  30:06 - Ball Busting and Physical Play Safety  32:48 - Finding Your Dominant or Submissive Side This episode emphasizes that BDSM isn't about expensive equipment or extreme scenarios—it's about power exchange, communication, and exploring desires in a safe, consensual environment with partners who respect your boundaries. Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text

In this bonus episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily breaks down the top 10 red flags in bed that go beyond bad technique—these are the behaviors that can seriously impact your safety, intimacy, and sexual satisfaction. From partners who never ask what you like to those who skip foreplay entirely, we explore the warning signs that indicate deeper issues around sexual awareness, communication, and respect. We dive into why these red flags matter, including partners who don't take feedback, make orgasm the only goal, ignore consent, lead with ego, and vanish emotionally after sex. Dr. Emily also addresses those who shame your fantasies, avoid sexual health conversations, and expect mind-reading instead of open communication. This isn't about shaming anyone—it's about recognizing patterns early so you can advocate for your needs and build healthier, more connected sexual experiences. Whether you're dating, in a relationship, or just want to know what to watch out for, this episode gives you the tools to identify red flags and prioritize partners who truly care about mutual pleasure and respect. Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx  Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text

In this episode of the Sex with Emily podcast, Dr. Emily teams up with Dr. Scott Lyons, a licensed holistic psychologist and trauma expert, to tackle one of the most common relationship challenges: when sex starts feeling like just another item on your to-do list. From exploring why intimacy can lose its spark to practical strategies for reigniting desire, this conversation gets to the heart of what happens when pleasure becomes obligation. We dive deep into the psychology behind sexual disconnection, examining how stress, routine, and unspoken resentments can transform what should be joyful into something that feels burdensome. Dr. Scott shares insights on nervous system regulation and how our bodies respond when we're overwhelmed, while Dr. Emily offers practical advice on communication, scheduling intimacy, and the importance of prioritizing pleasure throughout the week—not just in the bedroom. This episode addresses the reality that many couples face: mismatched libidos, the pressure to perform, and the challenge of maintaining sexual connection amid life's demands. We explore how to shift from duty-based sex to desire-driven intimacy, the role of variety and spontaneity in long-term relationships, and why "priming for pleasure" throughout the week is essential for a fulfilling sex life. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - When Sex Becomes a Chore 03:00:00 - The Psychology of Sexual Obligation06:41:00 - Mismatched Libidos and Relationship Dynamics 08:26:00 - Breaking the Routine: Adding Variety and Play 11:07:00 - Communication vs. Avoidance in Sexual Relationships 15:38:00 - Priming for Pleasure Throughout the Week 18:06:00 - Scheduling Sex: Intentional vs. Spontaneous Intimacy 23:10:00 - From Duty to Desire: Practical Strategies 28:14:00 - Building Anticipation and Connection 30:04:00 - Redefining Sexual Success and Satisfaction Whether you're feeling disconnected from your partner or just want to prevent sex from becoming routine, this episode offers compassionate guidance and actionable strategies for reclaiming the joy and connection that intimate relationships can provide. Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx  Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let's get social: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily Let's text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text