Can We Be Sad or Angry And Still Be Unruffled?

Janet responds to questions from two parents who describe their sensitive children struggling with separation, transitions, and general emotional overwhelm. One writes, “I go into panic mode when I see his eyes widen with worry,” while another admits, “I often see the meltdown coming… and don’t know how to help without making it worse.” Both parents admit they have their own strong emotional reactions to their kids' struggles including fear, guilt, and self-doubt. Janet points out how our own discomfort can exacerbate our children's, and how caring for ourselves is both compassionate and foundational to effective parenting. She offers solutions how these parents might more readily trust their children to feel and process their discomfort.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Toddler twins are suddenly melting down at bedtime. A 5-year-old is struggling to manage his unruly friend. Janet explains how parents in both these cases can help to resolve these issues by better understanding their children's sensitivity to change.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet believes that one of the biggest hurdles for us as parents is our own self-doubt and hopes that 2026 will be the year we stop second-guessing ourselves.  With this in mind, she offers suggestions to 3 families who've written to her about their current struggles. The first is a mom whose 2.75-year-old seems to be stalling during transitions and melting down when the mom doesn't comply with her demands. This parent says, "... my biggest struggle and question is how do we trust our kids' feelings and be there for them when we feel the pressure to keep our schedule on track and move forward?" A second parent is caring for three young children and worries she's not giving them enough play time with her. "I struggle to be playful and silly with my kids because I'm constantly navigating the mental load of being a mom of multiple children." Finally, a parent who just gave birth to her second child is feeling lost as to how to handle her 4-year-old's rudeness towards friends and family members. "This is the button she instinctively knows to push that will leave me ruffled and floundering as a parent because I greatly value manners, gratitude and politeness." Janet offers each of these families what she hopes is encouraging and helpful feedback.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent struggles to control emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment when they’re triggered by her toddler. While she strives to be a confident leader by appearing calm and unruffled, she also wants to model her emotions authentically for her child. In this encore episode, Janet clarifies what it really means to be "unruffled" and how parents can approach this goal without faking or stuffing their emotions. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent wants to get out of a cycle of bribing her 3.5-year old and writes to Janet for help. “It seems that in order to get him to do anything, I have to offer a reward, treat, or special outing.” If these strategies don’t work, she says, she will threaten to take something away. This mom admits that she is a people pleaser, so when she does set a boundary, she feels guilty about it. She worries that she’s teaching this to her son. “I don’t want him to feel guilty about his feelings or his boundaries.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every child is certainly unique, but when it comes to their behavior, we can sometimes complicate a situation that might really be quite simple to address. This week Janet shares an email from a parent who says her nearly 4-year-old has lately been argumentative and having meltdowns over the smallest things. "She seems to want to self-sabotage and create problems where there are none." This parent has tried to be consistent in her responses but to no avail. "Is it a cry for attention?" she wonders. "Either way we're not making any progress or seeing the light at the end of the tunnel."  A second note comes from the mother of a 4.5-year old looking for book recommendations "for guidance on how to help her follow our instructions more readily." Janet recommends a single solution for both these parents.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As parents, we do our best to raise kind, thoughtful, appreciative kids. But despite our efforts, our children can sometimes seem downright ungrateful. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet about her frustrations with her sons, aged six and four. Rather than appreciate the gifts and special outings she treats them to, they inevitably ask for more, more, more and then complain when she won't give it to them. "It feels like nonstop unhappiness when I'm trying so hard to make them happy." This mom wonders if perhaps it's expecting too much of her kids to feel grateful when they are legitimately disappointed, but she wants them to learn to focus on the positive. Janet offers her perspective on what causes children to behave this way and offers three suggestions that can help our kids to appreciate the efforts we make for them.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Janet responds to emails from parents who describe struggling with their children’s strong emotions. One writes that her 2-year-old rejects her comfort when he has a meltdown. “It breaks my heart, and I feel like I must be doing something wrong.” Another writes that her 7-year-old says he doesn’t feel love from his mother. Another email describes how a 3-year-old’s tantrums last all afternoon and into the evening, disrupting the rest of the family’s routine, and they “all feel trapped by a 3-year-old.” And a therapist observes that her child holds in emotions in front of family and peers. In this encore episode, Janet identifies the common thread in all these situations and offers a hopeful answer to weather the storms. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠. Please support our sponsors! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We all aspire for our children to grow up with a positive self-image and an abundance of self-confidence. When life throws our child a dilemma, it’s our natural instinct to want to fix it, or at least work them through the uncomfortable feelings with a pep talk. In this encore episode, Janet answers questions from three listeners and offers a more helpful – albeit counterintuitive – perspective that can help children learn resilience and find the kind of confidence in themselves that lasts a lifetime. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠ and ⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A parent describes her 5.5-year old as the love of her life. Lately, though, her daughter has been dissolving into silly, immature behavior at inappropriate moments, melting down over nonsensical things, and demanding her mother's attention.  "It goes on and on, and I get tired and annoyed." On the other hand, this parent says she feels guilty for not playing along with her daughter's spontaneous games (like joining her in a crab-walking race down the stairs). She worries that at 5.5 years old, her daughter should be moving beyond this type of behavior. "Will she ever stop testing me, or is she just going to keep on seeing how much I can withstand?" Janet has some ideas. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NoBadKidsCourse.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠JanetLansbury.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Her best-selling books ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"⁠⁠⁠⁠ are available wherever books are sold. Please Support Our Sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices