Healing Trauma from the Inside Out

With Halloween right around the corner, Ashley is asking a question that stopped her in her tracks during a recent coaching call: what is a witch?Most of us grew up with the pointy hat, the cape, and the cauldron. We also inherited the history of women being silenced, punished, and burned for being different. That’s the witch wound. But Ashley’s coach invited the group to go beyond the wound and step into the greatness of the witch, and what came through for Ashley was a vision of a lighthouse and a simple message: follow the light back and you will come home to yourself.In this episode, Ash shares her own definition of a witch, why she believes witchiness is a spectrum, and how disowning your gifts is just another way of disowning your truth. She also gets honest about the shame she has carried around her intuitive abilities, the reactions she has received from people whose beliefs differ, and the conversations she has had with God about it all.This is a Halloween episode for anyone who has ever hidden their magic to keep other people comfortable.In this episode:The question that made Ashley stop and pause: what is a witch?The difference between the witch wound and stepping into the greatness of the witchThe lighthouse vision and its message: follow the light back and you’ll come home to yourselfWhy witchiness is a spectrum, just like autism or ADHDHow feeling disconnected from yourself can come from not using your giftsWhy disowning your magic is disowning your truth, and how that ties back to shadow workAshley’s experience being told her gifts are demonic, and how she respondsWhy people hide their gifts out of shame, yet get curious the second you mention themHer definition: a witch is anyone who steps into their power in any form, whether healing, analyzing, music, or cookingWhy making soup, herbal remedies, and holistic living are witchcraft tooThe question to carry with you: will you step into your power and let yourself shine?

Someone said four words to Ashley that sent her into a full spiral.She's angry at men.And instead of firing back — which every part of her wanted to do — she did something different. She got curious. She went looking for proof. She asked the people in her life who would actually tell her the truth. And what she found was one of the most important lessons she's learned yet about triggers, projections, and the difference between information that's yours to work with and someone else's wound being handed to you.This episode is raw, honest, and surprisingly practical — and it walks you through exactly what Ashley did step by step so you can use the same tools the next time someone says something that lights you up.In this episode:The conversation that triggered her — and the context that made it hit so much harderWhy she didn't fire back immediately and what she did insteadThe blind spot check — how she actually went looking for proof that the statement was trueWhat her coworkers, her best friend, and her trusted guy friend all said when she askedThe surprising realization about who she's actually angry with — and why that's a whole other episodeHow to tell the difference between a trigger pointing at your own wound versus someone projecting theirs onto youWhy sometimes the right move is to just hand it back — it's not yours to carryThe fighter part of her that comes out swinging — and the conversation she's learning to have with her insteadA five step toolkit for the next time someone says something that sets you offWhat growth actually looks like — not never getting triggered, but having the tools and actually using themwebsite: www.thevoiceofash.cohere.live

Ashley spent the weekend in a two-day shamanic training, journeying to the middle world — the world we actually live in — and what came through was something she wasn't expecting: a message about how much we take, and how little we give back.In this quietly profound episode she shares what it means to journey in the middle world, why its energy feels different from the upper and lower realms, and the one simple practice that could change how you move through nature forever: asking permission.She also shares the story of a baby sparrow she found outside her apartment in the heat, the little memorial she made when it passed, and why slowing down enough to notice a tiny bird on the ground might be exactly the kind of medicine we all need right now.This one is gentle, a little different, and unexpectedly moving.In this episode:What the middle world is in shamanic journeying and how it differs from upper and lower realmsThe eight to ten journeys taken over the weekend and what themes kept emergingWhy asking permission before taking anything from nature actually matters — energetically and spirituallyThe snow leopard vision that showed what happens when you don't ask permissionThe incredible ecosystem of a single tree — and what it taught the class about reciprocityThe maple trees over a hundred years old that were honored with rattles and remembranceThe underlying message that kept coming through every journey: we are taking too much and giving too little backThe baby sparrow Ashley almost stepped on — and the grocery store flowers that followedWhy slowing down is both a shadow and a blessingEnergy healing sessions now available — details in the show notesEnergy Healing: https://thevoiceofash.cohere.live/intuitiveenergyhealingsession

Content warning: This episode contains discussion of sexual trauma and manipulation. Please listen with care.This is one of the most vulnerable episodes Ashley has ever recorded. No outline. No polish. Just her trusting the pull to share something she has been quietly processing in therapy for months.In this raw and unfiltered episode Ashley opens up about a sexual trauma from her twenties — being manipulated into a sexual act after clearly saying no — and what it has actually looked like to process that through EMDR therapy, energy work, dreams, and shadow work. She talks about the anger, the grief, the sadness, the full moon nightmare that connected all the dots, and the moment she realized her body had been holding this for years.This episode is for anyone who has ever minimized something that happened to them because they thought it wasn't big enough to hurt this much. It was. It does. And your body knows.In this episode:What EMDR actually is and how Ashley adapted it to work for her nervous systemThe full moon nightmare that mirrored her sexual trauma almost exactlyWhy dreams are your subconscious mind's way of processing what hasn't been healed yetHow being neurodivergent makes traumatic events hit harder and stay longerThe connection between the body, sexual trauma, and energetic releaseWhy your body is always there to protect you — even when you abandon itHow much capacity you can hold for others is directly tied to how much work you've done on yourselfThe difference between people who have done the inner work and those who haven'tWhy shadow work and energy healing go hand in hand for AshleyA new offering: energy healing sessions now available — details in the show noteshttps://thevoiceofash.cohere.live/intuitiveenergyhealingsession

There are two voices living inside of you. One is loud, constant, exhausting, and fills in every gap of uncertainty with a story — usually a harsh one. The other is quiet, calm, and tells you exactly what is true — even when it's scary to hear.One is the storyteller. One is the truth teller. And most of us have been letting the wrong one run the show our entire lives.In this episode Ashley breaks down these two powerful archetypes, where they come from psychologically and spiritually, and how to actually tell the difference between them in real time. She gets personal about how this shows up in her own life around her intuitive gifts, her voice, and the friendships where she's finally learning to speak the whole truth.This is the episode for anyone who has ever believed a story their brain made up — and never stopped to ask if it was actually true.In this episode:What the storyteller actually is and why your brain needs it to surviveWhy the storyteller is loud and the truth teller is a whisper — and the neuroscience behind itHow to tell the difference between the two in real timeThe three psychological frameworks that explain why the storyteller is so convincing — negative bias, parts work, and somaticsWhy the body always knows before the mind does — and how to use thatHow this connects directly to last week's episode on finding your voiceThe shadow work exercise that made Ashley realize how often she was holding back her truthA simple four step practice to question the stories your brain is runningThe one question that changes everything: where is the proof?You only get to listen to one voice at a time — and you actually get to choose which one

During a meditation, Ashley saw a vision of a corset. Tight. Suffocating. And suddenly everything clicked — for generations women were literally structured into silence. When you can't breathe deeply, you can't speak fully. And that physical silencing became an internal one that so many of us are still carrying today.In this episode Ashley gets personal about her own relationship with her voice — from a childhood car ride where she was told she had the voice of a backup singer, to the corporate world that taught her speaking up was a liability, to the slow, messy, unglamorous process of actually learning to use it again.This one is for anyone who swallows their truth so often it starts to feel normal.In this episode:The corset meditation that reframed everything she understood about silencingWhy controlling people starts with silencing them — and how that shows up everywhereThe childhood car ride comment that planted roots and grew for yearsWhy your voice being silenced is a shadow — and how it got thereThe slow, frustrating, non-linear process of actually activating your voiceFive practices Ashley uses to reclaim her voice — podcasting, boundaries, singing, light language, and ReikiWhat light language is and why her body responds even when her mind doesn't understand itWhy the little squeak, the shaky first sentence, and the almost-didn't-say-it all count as victoriesStart before your voice feels ready — because waiting for perfect keeps you silent foreverYour voice is not a liability. It is your birthright.

Everyone talks about healing like it's a staircase. You do the work, you climb the steps, you arrive. But what if it's actually a spiral staircase — and every time you go deeper, you meet an older version of yourself that you have to learn to let go of all over again?That's where Ashley is right now. And in this deeply personal episode she's talking about the part of the healing journey that nobody prepares you for — grieving the versions of yourself that you actually love. Not the wounded parts. Not the broken parts. The parts that fought like hell for you. The parts that got you here.This isn't about releasing what was broken. It's about honoring what worked — and setting it down anyway.In this episode:Why healing is a spiral staircase and not a straight line — and what that actually meansHow the same wound can come back deeper and why that's actually progressThe specific version of herself Ashley is grieving right now — and why it feels like betrayalWhy growth sometimes asks you to set down the identity that kept you safeThe difference between grieving your wounded self and grieving a version you actually lovedHow to know when you've outgrown a version of yourself — the signs to look forWhy staying loyal to an old version of yourself can actually be doing you a disserviceThe candle ritual and the addiction she's finally ready to releaseA reminder for anyone whose life looks good but something still feels off — you might just be at a new turn in the spiralThe girl who got you here deserves to be honored, thanked, grieved — and then set down to rest

For most of her life Ashley thought chemistry was butterflies, racing sparks, and that electric pull straight out of a Hallmark movie. Turns out? A lot of that wasn't chemistry. It was anxiety. And her nervous system recognizing a very familiar, very unhealthy pattern.In this episode Ashley breaks down one of the most important distinctions she's learned through her dating journey and shadow work — the difference between chemistry and safety. They sound like the same thing. They absolutely are not. And confusing the two might be exactly why you keep ending up in situations that feel exciting at first and empty shortly after.This one is for the single women, the chronic chasers, and anyone who has ever written off a genuinely good person because they felt "too boring."In this episode:Why what we call chemistry is often just our nervous system recognizing an old woundThe difference between a feeling that happens to you versus a feeling happening in youWhy real safety is quiet — and why that's exactly why we overlook itThe real reason Ashley loves a good chase (and what shadow work revealed about that)Why calm and steady can feel boring when chaos has been your baselineThe one question to ask yourself: does this make me feel more myself or less myself?Why chemistry without safety is just a spark with nothing to hold ontoYou don't have to choose between feeling safe and feeling wanted — they are not oppositesleyInstagram:ashley.labuttewebsite:thevoiceofash.cohere.live

Ashley went on a date. She was affectionate — which for her is a massive deal. She was present, quirky, fully herself. She held a boundary she's proud of, without apologizing for it. And less than 24 hours later she was in her bed, barely breathing, having panic attacks, with a friend on the phone telling her to breathe.This is the episode nobody prepares you for.We talk about boundaries like they're always this clean, empowering, triumphant moment. But sometimes holding your boundary means the other person leaves. And sometimes being your most authentic self is exactly what gets you rejected. And that hurts in a way that makes you question everything — even when you did absolutely nothing wrong.In this raw, unfiltered episode Ash shares exactly what happened, the storyteller that went into overdrive afterward, and the poem she wrote that night that said everything she needed to hear.In this episode:What it actually felt like to let her guard down for the first time in yearsThe text message that ended it — and why she's calling it God's protectionThe shadow of rejection and why you're allowed to feel it fullyWhat nobody tells you about boundaries — sometimes they feel lonely, not empoweringHow she caught herself picking the night apart looking for something she did wrongThe reframe: his exit doesn't get to rewrite what actually happenedThe poem she wrote that night: You Are Becoming More of YouThe message she wants every woman to hear: tend to your own heart, especially when it hurts

Here's the bad news: the person you've been waiting on to finally show up the way you needed them to as a kid? They're not coming. And here's the good news — you don't actually need them to anymore.This week Ashley wraps up her four-part shadow work series with the concept that ties it all together: reparenting. She breaks down what it actually means to become the parent you never had, why it might feel awkward, silly, or bring up grief at first, and what it can look like in your everyday life in small, consistent, doable ways.She also brings the whole series full circle — from what got buried, to where it leaked out, to who buried it and why, to finally becoming the one who shows up for it.In this episode:The hard truth about waiting for someone from your past to finally give you what you neededWhat reparenting actually is — and what it isn'tThe three ways people resist reparenting: the independence wall, the grief, and the discomfort of receivingWhy it might feel fake at first — and why you should keep going anywayCatching and reframing your harsh inner storytellerWhy every boundary you set is an act of reparentingConsistency over intensity — why small daily acts matter more than breakthroughsA simple grounding practice for when shame or panic shows upThe full four-part series wrapped up in one beautiful picture: shadow, projection, inner child, reparenting