Our Fake History

There are few pieces of Hawaiian folklore as beloved as the tales of the Menehune. This group of pint-sized magical wonderworkers have been given credit for building a number of Hawaii's oldest structures. Legend has it that this group of dwarves were contracted by early Hawaiian chiefs to complete great feats of engineering in just one night. While these magical tales may seem fantastic, some have argued that they may contain kernels of historical truth. Were the Menehune actually the first Hawaiian settlers whose achievement have been literally dwarfed through storytelling? Or is there something else going on in this tradition? Tune-in and find out how shrimp payments, tiny Neanderthals, and mythical invasive species all play a role in the story.

On this throwback episode we revisit Episode #14 from Season One of the podcast. The Pacific Ocean is the most expansive body of water on planet earth. Despite this fact ancient people managed to venture forth into its immensity and create a civilization of incredible sophistication. The question of how the ancients managed to settle the Pacific perplexed academics for generations. This left the door open for some pretty wild theories about the origins of the Polynesians. Chief among these theorists was the Norwegian adventurer Thor Heyerdahl . Heyerdahl’s audacious stunts would make the world question the conventional wisdom on the Polynesians. But should his theories be trusted? Tune in and find out how stone giants, Gilligan’s Island, and the last cannibal on Fatu Hiva all play a role in the story.

Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa is undoubtedly the world's most famous painting. But, despite this, many visitors to the Louvre come away disappointed after they see the masterpiece. The real-life painting has a hard time living up to the myth of the "most perfect picture ever painted." How did the Mona Lisa go from being a well-regarded Da Vinci portrait to being an international celebrity? It seems like the 1911 theft of the painting from the Louvre completely changed the Mona Lisa's stature in the world of art. The question is, would she be this famous if she had never been stolen? Tune-in and find out how shaving in front of a Rembrandt, Paris Syndrome, and the worst guards ever all play a role in the story.

In the late 19th century many Victorian's were experiencing a crisis of faith. Changing technology and scientific breakthroughs had many questioning the traditional explanations of humanities place in the cosmos. Some reacted by seeking answers in the occult--- secret knowledge preserved in esoteric sources. In 1888 a group dedicated to exploring the occult known as the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn was founded in London. This group not only created a rigorous curriculum of occult study, they also developed a unique system of practical magic based on Jewish Kabbalah, ancient Egyptian rituals, and the writings of an ancient mage called Hermes Trismegistus. But, when a shocking revelation was made about the groups founding documents, the Order quickly splintered into competing factions. Was the Victorian era's most important magical society undone by fake history? Tune-in and find out how astral travel, magical tartans, and the wickedest man alive all play a role in the story.

In this throwback episode we revisit Episode #31 from Season 2. The Crimean War cavalry action known as “the charge of light brigade” was immortalized by the poet Alfred Lord Tennyson. The poet described a glorious charge into the mouth of hell carried out by men who would sooner die than disobey their orders. But is any of this actually true? What was the real charge of the light brigade? Why has one of history’s biggest military blunders been remembered so fondly? Tune in and find out how the sick man of Europe, being “sporting”, and a whole lot of donkeys play into the story.

In the Imjin year of 1592 the Japanese orchestrated a blitzkreig invasion of Korea. Within just two months they had captured both Seoul and Pyongyang. However, conquering Korea and holding Korea turned out to be two very different propositions. The victories of the Korean navy and the resistance orchestrated by guerilla groups known as "righteous armies" soon weakened the overextended Japanese. When Korea's the Ming Chinese allies finally arrived the war took a very different turn. But who should get the lions share of the credit when it comes to defeating the Japanese? The guerilla armies? The Chinese? Naval hero Admiral Yi Sunsin? Tune-in and find out how the Korean Zorro, the biggest helmet in the war, and a box full of hornets all play a role in the story.

When the Japanese army landed in Korea in 1592 the Korean defenders were woefully underprepared. Confused diplomacy and divisive court politics had hampered Korean preparations for the coming Japanese attack. The only Korean commander who came out looking good was the war hero Admiral Yi Sunsin. Admiral Yi is still remembered in South Korea as the most respected Korean to ever live. With a reputation that inflated is it possible to get an accurate understanding of Yi as a person? Tune-in and find out how heroic statues, baby pee, and some truly terrible battle plans all play a role in the story.

In 1592 the Japanese launched a massive invasion of the Korean Peninsula. The Japanese leader Toyotomi Hideyoshi believed that Korea would submit without much of a fight and that his army would very quickly move on to the real target, the capital of Ming China. Six years later the Japanese were still fighting in Korea. What the Koreans call the Imjin War has recently been redubbed the Great East Asian War by scholars in recognition of it's truly massive scope. Based on the sheer number of soldiers involved this was the largest war fought anywhere in the word in the 1500's. But despite that this conflict has remained relatively obscure outside of Korea. Why? Tune-in and find out how eager to please sandal-bearers, Huck Finn, and the most convoluted title for a leader in history all play a role in the story.

For this throwback Sebastian takes you all the way back to a first season favorite. Ninjas, Japan’s shadow warriors, have been a pop-culture staple for generations. The legend of the ninjas has become so overblown, that some have gone so far to suggest that they never truly existed. But that is just what the ninjas want us to believe! The ninjas were very real, and they played a pivotal role in Japan’s “warring states period”. Nevertheless, separating ninja-fact from ninja-fiction continues to be a tall order. Listen and find out how medieval water noodles, puppet emperors, toilet warriors, and Seb’s horrific pronunciation of Japanese names all fit into the story!

Our Fake History celebrates 200 episodes by opening up the phonelines and taking calls from listeners and past guests. Fans from all over the world pose questions and queries and Sebastian does his best to answer thoughtfully. How does Sebastian choose his sources? Which historical figure would he transport here "Bill and Ted" style? Did pirates really have treasure maps? Is there such a thing as objective truth? Tune-in and find out how Achilles numbers, time capsules, and a lot of "long time listeners first time callers" all play a role in the story.