Ep 410 - Kristen

Kristen's journey is one of perseverance, resilience, curiosity, and self-discovery. She refers to her thirties as her "waking up period" and her forties as her "sexual self-actualization." Now in her fifties, she feels like everything is integrating together... She currently identifies as a relationship anarchist who's excited about, and open to, the infinite possibilities and uncertainty of life. Kristen's story is incredibly powerful and inspiring and we hope you get as much from it as we did! Kristen is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) who works in California. You can find more information about her work as a therapist on her website here and you can learn more about The Non-Monogamy Card Game here! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Sonia is back... Again! Sonia joined us on episodes 193 and 388 with her husband Gabriel and this time she's back with her partner Steven who's joining us for the first time. Don't worry! You won't be lost today if you haven't listened to the previous episodes with Sonia and Gabriel. Sonia and Steven have been together for just over eight years and each of them came to their partnership having explored non-monogamy for quite a few years. This interview is really powerful as they share their individual experiences of building their relationship within the hierarchical dynamic of Sonia's marriage. We loved having the opportunity to talk with them both about the nuances, challenges, and benefits of hierarchy in their partnership. Steven shares his perspective on what it's like for him to be the "secondary" partner as he takes us through the journey that he's been on figuring out what he needs for himself. Similarly, Sonia talks about the realities of priority and hierarchy in her life as she juggles a demanding career and multiple committed partnerships. Together, they share how they've worked their butts off, individually and as a couple, to build a really beautiful and fulfilling relationship... And, it definitely hasn't been easy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Carrie and Drew have been married about 10 years and are high school sweethearts who grew up in pretty religious families with purity culture heavily influencing them both, and their partnership. A few years ago Carrie found a queer content creator and therapist on Instagram who opened her mind to the possibility of choice for herself for the first time in her life. Around this time, Carrie and Drew did a yes/no/maybe quiz about sex and discovered that they shared an interest in exploring with other people. So, they started talking about it... a lot... and eventually decided to make a profile on a dating app to see if they could make the fantasy a reality. And, they did! Carrie vulnerably takes us through growing up with the pressure and confusion of religion and purity culture and the impact these had on her sexuality and on their relationship. She also shares about the experiences she and Drew had with another couple before ultimately deciding that the amount of energy it took for her to remain regulated while swinging was too much. Carrie and Drew still consider themselves religious and while swinging isn't the best fit for them at the moment, they're still seeking new ways to explore the endless possibilities of sex, pleasure, and intimacy together. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Ayala first read The Ethical Slut in high school and actually started dating non-monogamously from the beginning of her relationship explorations. It wasn't until about a decade later that she intentionally set out to see what monogamy was all about. Today, Ayala identifies as ambiamorous... Content and happy with either monogamy or non-monogamy, depending on the relationship. This interview with Ayala is full of so much wisdom and insight and is just a really lovely conversation about her relationship journey. One of the things we love is when we have the opportunity to talk to therapists about their own relationships and we got to do just that with Ayala! Ayala is a sex and relationship therapist who describes herself on her website much better than we ever could! I’m Ayala Kalisher, a therapist who specializes in helping people access more safety, connection and pleasure in their lives. My approach blends traditional and cutting-edge modalities to help clients navigate stuck patterns, relationships, and personal growth with more ease and authenticity. I believe therapy should be a place where you get to feel seen, supported, and empowered. Whether you’re seeking relief from painful past experiences, struggling in your relationships, or looking for a therapist who isn’t afraid to talk about sex, I welcome you as you are. Oh! Ayala also co-created The Non-Monogamy Card Game, as well! Please head over to Ayala's website to learn more about her work and don't forget to grab a copy of her card game! Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Courtney and Derek were both on the show separately over the past two weeks and today we're delighted to bring them on together to tell their very own love story! Both of their individual stories are incredible and we definitely recommend listening to them but you will NOT be lost today if you haven't already listened. Courtney and Derek's story stands on its own and it's a love story for the ages! Trigger warning... This is a sappy and mushy love story told in great detail and we're so here for it! It's also full of laughter and hilarious anecdotes! Courtney and Derek met online a few years ago and since then have fallen pretty madly in love. Today's interview is unique in that we get to hear what was going on for each of them as they began forming their partnership while the imperfect human-ness of life swirled around them. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Courtney just turned 50 and has been exploring polyamory and non-monogamy for the last three years or so... However, her story begins long before she and her husband of 16 years opened their relationship in 2022. Today, Courtney takes us all the way back to the first time she had simultaneous crushes at age four... Rocky and Superman! Today's interview with Courtney is full of laughter, joy, heartbreak, whirlwind relationships, self-discovery, and beautifully vulnerable and powerful stories of life and love. Join us! You won't regret it. And! If Courtney's story resonated for you and you're looking at real estate in the Asheville area, please reach out to her through her website! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

If you were thinking of skipping this one, consider rethinking that... Derek first learned about polyamory from one of the original writings on the subject in Green Egg Magazine back in 1990 (see link in show notes below)... He was in his early twenties and showed it to his college girlfriend and they sort of jumped right in! They explored non-monogamy together for a few years before parting ways and Derek found himself "scared back into monogamy" for many years. Fast-forward just a couple years and Derek gets married in 2015... When he met his wife, Kay, a few years prior he brought up the idea of non-monogamy but she wasn't interested. However, she brought the idea back to him in 2016 and they decided to open their relationship for about a year before starting a family. When their son was about three they decided to open up again and during the time they had closed their partnership Kay had come out to him as queer. Then, around 2021 Kay came out to Derek as a lesbian. Today, Derek and Kay are nesting co-parents and are rebuilding their friendship. Derek also has a girlfriend of about 18 months who lives nearby and describes himself as ambiamorous... Comfortable with both monogamy and non-monogamy. Join us today as Derek shares his incredibly powerful and beautiful story. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Marla has been exploring and practicing non-monogamy for about 20 years after learning about it during their first year of college. After getting out of their last monogamous relationship early in their college experience, Marla fell in love with their best friend and never really looked back. Like many of us, they were kind of making it up as they went and figuring it out along the way. Today we have a fantastic conversation with Marla about their journey, their struggles and triumphs, as well as the wisdom they've earned along the way. We dig into the reality of being an imperfect human, the importance of relationship repair, queer-platonic partnerships, and everyone's favorite topic... Hierarchy! More about Marla from their website: www.polyamarla.com Marla (they/them pronouns) is a relationship therapist and educator specializing in non-monogamy and *2SLGBTQIA+ identities. They have been practicing polyamory since 2005, and facilitating programs on the subject since 2009. (*2Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and beyond) Like you, they are a fabulous and sometimes messy human being. As a member of so many of the communities they support, Marla takes accountability when they’ve made mistakes, and doesn’t shy away from challenging conversations. Their goal is to provide support and education for people who want to understand or practice non-monogamy. They advocate for the health of non-monogamous communities by offering services to people within, and adjacent to those communities. Please check out all of Marla's work on their website and don't forget to grab a copy of their brand new book Nonmonogamy and Defying a Paradigm! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Sarah is an elder Gen Z in her mid to late twenties who feels like she's always been polyamorous but didn't have the words for it. Like many, her initial dating experiences followed the model of serial monogamy, but for her it always felt terrible to "have to" end a decent relationship just because she met someone else she had feelings for. Not anymore! A few years ago she met her primary partner and they've been in an open relationship since the beginning. In this fantastic interview Sarah shares how she and her partner navigated the early days of being non-monogamous when neither of them had any experience or models of how to do it. We also have great conversations about how they handle hierarchy, how she navigates dating monogamous people since she lives in a place with few polyamorous folks, and how she keeps herself safe as she explores in ways that feel very natural for her. Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

Cooper and his wife are in their forties with three kids and have been married for over 17 years. While they only "officially" opened their relationship about three years ago it wasn't a completely foreign concept to them when they got together and they always had a mindset and understanding that there was more out there. Cooper's wife initially brought up the idea of opening their relationship when her libido started to wane during perimenopause but they quickly realized this was about way more than that... It was a doorway to a whole new set of possibilities and opportunities for them both! In this wonderful conversation Cooper shares with us how he and his wife navigate non-monogamy with slightly different styles and desires and how they handle hierarchy in their connections with others. He also digs into their experiences with supporting each other through breakups and how they manage all of this while raising a family, working. and living full lives. We love how Cooper and his wife approach their relationship and life with such an open and curious mindset - we hope you enjoy this interview as much as we do! Check out the full show notes here. Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing