What Does It Mean to "Hold Space" For Someone? | Episode 260

Unexpected news, traumatic events, and unfortunate but common stressors in life—such as a fender bender or learning that you’ve lost your job—can hit us in unexpected ways. While we may not be able to verbalize exactly how we feel in the moment, having a family member, spouse, or close friend be there for us during a hard season can make all the difference in the world.That’s what we are talking about in this episode—the power of being there for someone else. We’ve experienced this many times in our own lives as we’ve faced unexpected turns of events, loss, and even crisis.In this episode, you’ll hear:How a simple hug can offer comfortPractical ways you can be there for someoneThe God Tool of CourageAnd more!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/power-presence-264Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

For today’s conversation, we are talking very openly about the physical relationship within marriage. (If you have little ears around, consider listening on headphones or waiting until you are alone.)Many marriage resources presume that the husband has a higher sex drive, but in about 25% of marriages, it’s actually the wife who experiences more feelings of desire.When women have the higher level of desire for sex and intimacy, they can often experience feelings of rejection when their spouse doesn’t reciprocate. They may even wonder what’s wrong with them, and unfortunately, they often have nowhere to turn for advice.For nearly 15 years, J. Parker has been the voice behind the blog, Hot, Holy & Humorous. She’s the author of five books on sexual intimacy and marriage, including her most recent title, The Higher Desire Wife: Understanding and Help for Christian Women Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives. J. holds a master’s degree in counseling, but it was her personal testimony that fueled her desire to write about God’s design for sex and marriage.In this episode, you’ll hear:How to navigate sex when you and your spouse’s desires are mismatchedHow your sex drive can change over timeThe benefits of scheduling sexAnd more!This is a candid conversation I wish had existed early on in my own marriage, and my hope is that you will glean helpful information to guide you in your physical relationship within marriage.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/j-parker-263Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

This is a special episode with just me (Jill)! For this one, I’m opening up about a topic that is very close to my heart. I wanted to share it this time of year because the end of August is when school starts back up, and as such, many groups such as Bible studies, moms’ groups, and more, are all kicking off. Through my years of parenting, I’ve found that it can be challenging to integrate into a new group. Meeting new people, finding those who will be closer friends, and discovering your place in the collective takes skill and perseverance.I know how intimidating it can feel to be the newbie in a group of established friends, and how discouraging it can feel when friendships don’t immediately blossom the way you hoped they would. However, I want to encourage you to keep trying—it’s by no means an easy task to make deep and lasting connections, but it is so worth it.  In this episode, you’ll hear:Helpful principles for making connectionsThe importance of having the right mindsetWhy you should make the first moveAnd more!I hope these tips will help you make better connections in groups and find friends who speak to your heart. This episode also features helpful guidance for group leaders who want to make sure they’re cultivating environments that are warm and welcoming!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/group-connection-262Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Our words have the power to encourage and inspire others. They also have the power to put down, shame, and discourage. In this conversation, we are looking at the power of our words. Joining me for this discussion is someone who has personal experience with the impact our words can have in relationships—especially within marriage.Ann Wilson spent more than a decade longing for a better marriage. Every chance she got, Ann told her husband how much she wished he were more attentive, more helpful, and just all around better. While she thought she was being helpful, in reality, her words were badgering him with constant critiques that nearly broke their marriage.No matter how long you’ve been married, you won’t want to skip this episode on how our words can make the difference between merely wishing things were different in our relationship and actually changing it for the better.In this episode, you’ll hear:Practical ways to speak life to your husbandA powerful prayer to reciteWhy you should talk to Jesus BEFORE talking to your spouseAnd more!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/ann-wilson-episode-261Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

“What does it mean to hold space for someone?”A listener recently sent us this question—and it’s such a good one.Simply put, holding space means being emotionally and physically present with someone’s feelings—without judging, making it about you, trying to fix it, or getting defensive.The beauty of this practice is that it works in almost any relationship. You can hold space for your spouse, friends, family, neighbors, coworkers—you name it!We don’t know about you, but we’ve noticed the phrase “holding space” showing up everywhere lately. Still, even with its growing popularity, many people aren’t entirely sure what it really means. So whether it’s brand new to you or you’ve heard it before but want to gain a deeper understanding of why it’s valuable and how you can use it to support the people you love, we’re here to unpack what it looks like in action.In this episode, you’ll hear:Why it’s important to hold space for one anotherHow to set yourself up to listen wellPractical tips for holding space for someoneAnd more!We hope this conversation is helpful as you begin to practice holding space for the people in your life!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/hold-space-260Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

We all know marriage isn’t easy. Bringing together two people with different life experiences, opinions, and family backgrounds takes a whole lot of intentionality, grace, and growth.When neurological differences enter this complex equation, you need an additional set of tools in order to maintain a healthy marriage.My guest, Shawna Meek, is here to help us understand what it can look like to navigate neurological differences within a marriage relationship. She has been through three separations with her husband, infidelity, and his late diagnosis as an adult with Autism Spectrum Disorder. She is a professional certified coach and an author. Shawna’s primary focus is supporting women who have gone through betrayal and trauma, and helping couples who have experienced infidelity in a neurodiverse marriage where Autism or Asperger’s profiles are present.In this episode, you’ll hear:What it means to have a love addictionSome of the ways neurodivergence affects a marriageStrategies for helping a spouse who is neurodivergentAnd more!I’m excited to share this conversation with you today as we discuss some helpful tools for navigating a neurodivergent marriage.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/shawna-meek-259Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

We live in a world full of distractions. Technology is always with us, pulling our focus away from the present with notifications that ping at all hours of the day and night. On top of that, many of us deal with internal distractions like insecurity, the desire for perfection, or the stress of trying to do it all. These distractions can often crowd out the still, small voice of God—if we let them. My friend, Peg Arnold, understands the struggle of grappling with distractions well. She is an author, speaker, and teacher whose passion is to encourage women to understand their true value and purpose so they can utilize their gifts in everyday life.One of Peg’s recent books, Devotions for the Distracted Heart, helps those of us who tend to be distracted find focus on God and His Word so that we can stand strong in the winds of life. Peg also helps us understand that delays and detours are not always a bad thing—in fact, they can sometimes be blessings.In this episode, you’ll hear:Practical tips for dealing with distractionsThe power of reframing our schedulesHow God might use detours to strengthen our faithAnd more!This conversation was a delight—it’s full of helpful tips we can use to shift our perspective. Enjoy!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/peg-arnold-258Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

We are excited to have another listener-submitted question to discuss! This question really hit home with us because it resonated with obstacles we’ve recently overcome in our own lives. It reminded us of the powerful emotional growth and healing that can be achieved in a marriage.The question was: “Is the woman in the marriage relationship the one who does most of the heavy lifting as far as promoting emotional growth toward each other?”You know, we find that 75% of the time, it is the woman who is pursuing and initiating things that will promote emotional growth. However, this is less because of gender and more due to attachment styles.If you didn’t know, we love to talk about attachment styles because of how pivotal this concept has been in our marriage, our emotional intelligence, and our individual growth. Your attachment style will determine all sorts of things about how you relate to your spouse—such as if you reach out to them for connection or feel smothered by attention.In this episode, you’ll hear:How people with different attachment styles engage in a relationshipThe underlying reason you long for connectionNext steps to develop more secure attachmentAnd more!We have certainly benefited from learning about our attachment styles, and we hope this helps you as well!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/emotional-growth-257Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Life can be full of uncertainty. Whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a new job, or walking through a difficult time, we don’t always know how things will work out in the end. When that happens, we can feel frozen by fear and unsure of what our next step should be.Thankfully, my friend Katie Reid knows what it’s like to face uncertainty and has some helpful encouragement for us. Katie is a Bible teacher, author, podcaster, pastor’s wife, worship leader, and mom. She recently released her latest book, God, What Do I Do?: A Bible Study on Judges 1–5 About Making Wise Decisions in Uncertain Times.Katie has said that some of the best decisions she’s ever made include following Jesus, marrying her husband, and becoming a mom to five kids. She brings such a steady, grace-filled voice into conversations like this one.In this episode, you’ll hear:How to get unstuck in your decision-makingSix decisions you can make even when the future feels unclearWhere to turn when you are facing hard circumstancesAnd more!Katie is a dear friend, and it’s always a joy to have her share her wisdom on the podcast.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/katie-reid-256Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

We’re back for another special conversation, this time about the topic of accountability. When most people think of accountability, they imagine someone asking them tough questions—almost like it’s a police interrogation and they’re in the hot seat. The problem with that mindset is, if the other person doesn’t ask us the “right” questions, then we think we’re off the hook. We don’t have to offer up anything we don’t want to share.That’s how we viewed accountability before walking through our marriage crisis. But once trust was broken, we realized we needed something different. Something stronger. Rather than seeing accountability as someone else’s job, we began to view it as something we take responsibility for. We started to “push accountability.”What that looks like in real life is this: the person who is holding themselves accountable takes the lead. They offer up the information their spouse needs in order to feel safe. It’s not about being monitored. It’s about choosing to be known, and choosing to help rebuild trust one honest conversation at a time.In this episode, you’ll hear:What it means to open up your life to accountabilityParameters for pushing accountability wellWays to offer reassurance and rebuild trust once it has brokenAnd more!We hope this skill is as beneficial for your relationship as it has been in our marriage!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/push-accountability-255Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...