The Dog and Cat Marriage | Episode 271

When we stand at the altar and say “I do,” our eyes are filled with stars. We’re certain we have found happily ever after.After the wedding day, we find out that this marriage stuff is way more complicated than we initially thought. Once we are living out our day-to-day routine with another person, we find that challenges abound.We talk about marriage a lot on this podcast, but today, we are going to get a little more specific. We’re diving deep into how marriage is experienced by men. Our guest for this conversation is Roy Wooten.Roy is the executive director of The Crucible Project, a nonprofit men’s ministry. He has served as a pastor, ministry executive, coach, and counselor. Roy and his wife have co-authored The Secret to Lifetime Love.In this episode, you’ll hear:Common tendencies men have within marriageLies satan often uses against menThe importance of learning how to engage our emotions in a healthy mannerAnd more!We deeply enjoyed Roy’s fresh insight on how men engage in marriage.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/roy-wooten-272Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Have you heard about the dog and cat marriage? It might sound like a crazy concept, but it’s one that has helped us not only understand each other, but also help other couples understand how attachment styles are impacting their marriage.We created this idea of “dogs” and “cats” to explain the different attachment styles, and we’ve discovered that applying this concept is one of the top ways we see marriages change and heal in our coaching sessions.Regardless of whether you are more of a “cat” or a “dog”, everyone can benefit from this helpful analogy to understand how your attachment style plays out in your relationships.In this episode, you’ll hear:What it means to be a “dog” or a “cat” in your marriageSome tools to help you understand your attachment styleWays we can move toward a secure attachment styleAnd more!We hope this conversation helps you begin to better understand your attachment style!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/dog-cat-marriage-271Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

One of the most beautiful gifts we can give to others is our presence in their pain. Knowing you are not alone when you are walking through something hard is so important, especially when it involves the death of a spouse.When you lose your teammate in life, it’s disorienting, overwhelming, and traumatic. Here to help us understand the difficult circumstances that arise from the passing of a spouse is my guest, Amy Graves Boyd.Amy’s life took an unexpected turn in 2020 when she faced the loss of her first husband, Bryan. He passed away just three months after being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. This was not the way life was supposed to go. During and after this dark season, Amy had to navigate not only her own pain, but also the pain of their children who lost their father at such a tender time.As her family walked through the valley of the shadow of death, Amy experienced God’s tender embrace. Today, she’s passionate about sharing her story of faith, healing, and resilience.In this episode, you’ll hear:How each family member mourns in different waysPractical ways to support someone through the loss of a spouseHelpful resources for anyone walking through a lossAnd more!This conversation was so helpful in learning how to show love and encouragement to a dear friend who is walking through a loss today.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/amy-graves-boyd-270Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

What is the Next Day Principle?It’s a practice that we have not only implemented in our own marriage and family, but it’s also something we recommend to other couples in our coaching all the time.It helps to slow down reactivity, giving you time to clarify your feelings and determine what you still need to take to your spouse. The Next Day Principle is simply this: instead of reacting in the moment of a conflict with the full weight of your frustrations and emotions, you wait until the next day to bring it up with your spouse.In this episode, you’ll hear:The value of slowing conversation downTips for practicing the Next Day PrincipleThe importance of being responsive rather than reactiveAnd more!We hope this conversation blesses you!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/next-day-principle-269Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

As Christians, we are often unclear about God’s views on sex and intimacy. It can be a struggle to make sense of our temptations, shame, brokenness, longings, or desires. What is more, Christian churches and families are often divided in the nuances of sexuality, neglecting Jesus’ most important call to be unified as His body.Mark and I often talk about the significance of surrender, but how should that impact our sex life?My friend Dr. Juli Slattery is deeply familiar with both topics and is here to help us connect the dots between surrender, sex, and sexuality. She is the President and Co-Founder of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality. She has authored twelve books, including her newest book, Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes… Everything.In this episode, you’ll hear:Why Christians can’t ignore the topic of sex and sexualityPractical steps to surrender in the area of sexualityAn encouraging word for anyone struggling with sexAnd more!It was truly a pleasure to have Juli back on the podcast for this conversation about surrender and sexuality.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/juli-slattery-268Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

When brokenness strikes, it can feel impossible to know what to say or how to ask for help. Whether that brokenness is due to hard circumstances, an unexpected diagnosis, or the pain of a relationship ending, when we are hurting, all we want to do is retreat.But it’s in these dark seasons when we need a community to lean on the most. How do we find the strength to reach out when we are battling some of our worst moments? What can we offer our friends who we know are hurting? And can God still use us even when the brokenness never seems to fade away?My guest today is here to offer clarity and guidance around these questions. Toni Collier is the founder of a global women’s organization called Broken Crayons Still Color. She helps people process through brokenness to get to healing and hope.In this episode, you’ll hear:How to find healing from brokennessCommon myths we believe about our painThe power of having people who will sit with you instead of trying to fix youAnd more!Toni’s story is full of so much brokenness and pain. Yet, in spite of those circumstances, she has found healing and comfort. Her experience is proof that even the darkest seasons don’t last forever.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/toni-collier-267Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Have you ever met someone who was not at all like you? Maybe their thinking, mannerisms, or outlook was so different from your own that you clashed or struggled to connect with them?The old proverb, “birds of a feather flock together” is a classic because it’s true! Building relationships with people who share your interests, hobbies, opinions, and goals often feels easier than stepping outside your comfort zone.However, here’s the truth: in any close relationship—whether with a friend, family member, or spouse—differences eventually show up.It could be that one of you is a saver while the other is a spender, one of you is an early riser and the other a night owl, or even that one of you is an internal processor versus an external processor.Today, we want to challenge you to think about these differences in your relationships, well, differently!In this episode, you’ll hear:How to move from frustrated to fascinatedPractical ways to avoid taking differences personallyHelpful ways to reframe differences in your mindAnd more!Learning how to work with our differences has helped us so much in our marriage and friendships. We hope this conversation can help you, too!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/differences-differently-266Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

We have all experienced moments when we wanted more than anything to “keep up with the Joneses.” This comparison trap is nothing new—our parents dealt with it, their parents dealt with it, and so on and so forth.The only difference? Fifty years ago, the “Joneses” were just the folks down the street. Now, social media lets us keep tabs on hundreds of Joneses from all over the world—morning, noon, and night.This kind of exposure to the lives of others can allow a constant yearning for what we don’t have to fester in our hearts. If we aren’t careful, it can breed discontentment as we compare our imperfect lives to the greatest hits of someone else’s.My guest knows what it’s like to long for the shiny things we see on social media. Kate Strickler is the author of I Just Wish I Had a Bigger Kitchen. She’s also the creator behind the extremely popular blog and Instagram account, Naptime Kitchen. In this episode, you’ll hear:How we can pursue joy in our current circumstancesSome simple mindset shifts we can put into practice todayHow to see our “stuff” as a tool to offer belongingAnd more!Comparison can easily creep into our hearts. I hope you will be just as encouraged and inspired by this conversation as I was!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/kate-strickler-265Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Unexpected news, traumatic events, and unfortunate but common stressors in life—such as a fender bender or learning that you’ve lost your job—can hit us in unexpected ways. While we may not be able to verbalize exactly how we feel in the moment, having a family member, spouse, or close friend be there for us during a hard season can make all the difference in the world.That’s what we are talking about in this episode—the power of being there for someone else. We’ve experienced this many times in our own lives as we’ve faced unexpected turns of events, loss, and even crisis.In this episode, you’ll hear:How a simple hug can offer comfortPractical ways you can be there for someoneThe God Tool of CourageAnd more!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/power-presence-264Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

For today’s conversation, we are talking very openly about the physical relationship within marriage. (If you have little ears around, consider listening on headphones or waiting until you are alone.)Many marriage resources presume that the husband has a higher sex drive, but in about 25% of marriages, it’s actually the wife who experiences more feelings of desire.When women have the higher level of desire for sex and intimacy, they can often experience feelings of rejection when their spouse doesn’t reciprocate. They may even wonder what’s wrong with them, and unfortunately, they often have nowhere to turn for advice.For nearly 15 years, J. Parker has been the voice behind the blog, Hot, Holy & Humorous. She’s the author of five books on sexual intimacy and marriage, including her most recent title, The Higher Desire Wife: Understanding and Help for Christian Women Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives. J. holds a master’s degree in counseling, but it was her personal testimony that fueled her desire to write about God’s design for sex and marriage.In this episode, you’ll hear:How to navigate sex when you and your spouse’s desires are mismatchedHow your sex drive can change over timeThe benefits of scheduling sexAnd more!This is a candid conversation I wish had existed early on in my own marriage, and my hope is that you will glean helpful information to guide you in your physical relationship within marriage.Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/j-parker-263Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill’s Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You’re the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...