153. Regulation Without Punishment, Here's What My Family Does

Teaching regulation to my children feels incredibly difficult at times. It challenges me, stretches my patience and requires more attention than I knew I had to give. AND, seeing them take deep breaths when they feel upset, guide their brother to breathe and start doing 20 burpees without me even asking- IS WELL WORTH IT. Today I'm sharing what has worked exceptionally well in my home with high energy big feeling boys, which is BURPEES. I'm breaking down why I diligently emphasize regulation, what we do and how you can incorporate a plan like this, too. Side note: Christmas is coming quick. Get the 25 Days of Christ Advent Kit if you want to stay focused on Jesus and His teachings this holiday season. Use code TESSA for 20% off

There are times in life we hear one little line that changes the trajectory for us. I was attending a funeral while six months pregnant with my first son when one little line did that for me. I hope this episode gives you hope and encouragement to bring more positive communication into your home and daily life. Even if you've said "no" right in line with the average of 400 times a day that children hear it. Even if you grew up with negative communication being the norm. You get to decide what you do next, my friend. This holiday season is a great time to bring the story of Jesus into your home, with a guided story telling advent experience!This has been a favorite of ours for three years! 25 Days of Christ Ornament SetCode TESSA to save 20% off

I've been told "delayed obedience is disobedience" like it's a favorite line from a popular song since posting this reel.It got me thinking about the rush and urgency parents put themselves and their children in. It's certainly a catchy line and I can confidently say it is not biblical.Come explore where I have found the Bible praises pause, what could have gone differently and what Jesus would possibly do in our shoes. I believe teaching our children to exercise discernment, regulate emotions, pray for clarity and ask question IS our job. We are not here to rush our kids along to fit into the status quo and ensure they respect authority... a delay can be a very, very good thing.Good news, my Yes Language Course is now available for you to drastically reduce the times you say "no" and become a clear and kind communicator! It's 21 days long and incredibly effective to teach you with bite sized lessons and implementation! It's $50 off until 11/1/2025

This is a topic I have strong personal conviction and passion on and I'm sure you will feel that in this episode. After receiving criticism about a reel I made on IG that involved me waiting 90 seconds for my son to make the right choice and sharing that it takes 90 seconds to properly feel an emotion, I decided this podcast episode is the best way to respond. Discipline, boundaries and expectations are powerful in our parenting and they are a foundation for our kids to thrive. We can use each of those tools effectively, arguably more effectively, when we use them with kindness, calm authority and self-discipline. This episode has four key points in the heart of a disciple of Jesus Christ that is using discipline in parenting. I strive to be a loyal disciple of Jesus Christ and that means doing what is right even when it is hard and committing to parenting with faith over fear. All of the "what if..." theories thrown by others are fear based and I have resounding faith in following Jesus today in my parenting is the best possible outcome for our future.

Well, wouldn't you know it that the Bible is in full support of Yes Language?! Let's go through some scripture together and see where the meaning connects to our home life. Here are the links to Bibles I mentioned for any other beginners out there that want to start reading truth!Jesus Story Book Bible (I LOVE this one with my kids)Hosanna Revival NLT Bible (My first Bible I read for two years and appreciated the easy to understand language!)Study Bible ESV (My new Bible I am loving. The language is the right amount of challenge for me right now. I can still understand what it is saying and it reflects more of the traditional writings.)

I am steadfast here, friends. I've seen the truth in my own home and beyond play out time and time again. We need more positive minds, hearts and WORDS filling our homes if we want a better world. Being a Yes Mom is a standard of excellence and while it can feel difficult to fulfill and meet- it is rewarding to strive towards. I hope this encouragement reaches you warmly and with vigor. All my love, Tessa Romero

I've been sharing a lot of the Yes Language I use with my kids and a top question I receive regularly is "does your husband do this too?!" Well- let's ask my sweet hubs if he uses it and what his take is on this communication style with our kids. We are two parents doing the best we can- just like you! This is what we have found works really well for us to feel our best as the parents we want to be. Truly love how open Marcus is and my goal is that you feel encouraged to start using Yes Language no matter who is or is not using it, too. I've crafted out an entire Yes Mom Campus inside of my coaching membership. It's 21 lessons to teach you how to love what you say and how you say it- saving yourself time and energy. If you're ready to start using Yes Language and ditch a whole lot of "no, no, no" then join us!

Okay, guards are down. I've been watering down my passion and mission to try and keep myself out of the "heat"- all while seeing moms drowning in the consequences of negativity. All done- welcome to my new ERA! Starting with 5 reasons to stop saying no to your kids. I'm talking about NO, CAN'T, DON'T, WON'T, SHOULDN'T... reactivity, negativity and disconnection from your kids. I mentioned my 21 day YES MOM CHALLENGE available in my membership (access it anytime) to learn the TOOLS of Yes Language. This will decrease the time spent yelling, criticizing, arguing and breaking boundaries.⁠ Sign up here! ⁠Learn from my ⁠free "Yes Mom" content⁠ .

Exciting News: I am making a 100 day marriage journal! Yes, husband AND wife journals that build a positive and appreciative mindset in marriage- leaving behind resentment, negativity and victim mentality. Today as I worked on another round of edits (committed to the strength of each prompt and exercise) I felt stuck, so I called my husband into the office and asked for his feedback. Well, it was a GOOD TIME. Tons of laughs and true understanding about the different way we think. That's when I turned on the mic and hit record. Come share some laughs, insights and appreciation with us as we pour our love over the marriage journals in the making. These journals means so much to me as I started implementing this writing practice in my marriage 18 months ago- now I'm putting the practice in your hands.

There are times that being kind, sincere, patient and truthful feel PHYSICALLY painful. As if a bone in your body may break if you say something kind when you feel angry. What if yelling, perfectionism, people pleasing, lying, criticizing, shaming... could all be sanding off of you?This perspective of "sanding your down" will completely transform the pain of that moment to an incredibly purposeful healing experience for you. This will increase your patience, courage and discipline to do what is right even when it is hard. Here is the link to If Only I Had A Green Nose that I LOVE. Every book in this series is incredible. All my best friend, Tessa Romero