132. Declutter Your Home and Heart with Julia Ubbenga

Are you rushing through the day just trying to get the "to-do" list checked off and get to bed "on time"? You're probably feeling disconnected, unavailable and resentful in the process.I understand this to my core. Which is how and why I came up with my new life mantra "Hands like Martha, Heart like Mary" to help me remain available to the Lord and my family, while also serving in ways that light me up. This small shift in perspective has delivered the most wonderful results as I've been able to see how I can have BOTH. I know that you can, too. The power is in what we choose to think. I hope this one slips right in to your heart and your mind gives up the idea of your value being tied to your productivity. I adore you, I really do. Tessa Romero Connect with me on IG Is my mindset membership a good fit for you?

My workouts continue to look different and feel better over the years. I believe that is because I stay focused on what I want and OPEN to all the ways that can happen. Do you know what you want?Here's my fitness journey from running to weight lifting then to living room workouts and now family workouts in our home gym. It's a journey over the last 10 years and I hope it inspires you to know what you want and WHY you want it. Need clips of positivity? Follow along on Instagram!

Giving less than your best is a betrayal to yourself. Yet, with perfectionism and the bags of tendencies that come with it, there seems to be an unspoken fear of striving for excellence and doing all that you can every single day. You'll be told "that's too much." "you shouldn't expect so much from yourself." "it's not realistic." Even if you enjoy waking up to a clean kitchen that reminds you of fresh starts and new days... someone will tell you that the pressure to clean it every night before bed is just too much. This is why understanding the difference between a mentality of Excellence and a mentality of Perfection will set you free. This episode takes a look at why we use perfectionism, how you can practically condition your mind out of it and what it looks like to strive for excellence AND fall short. I hope you enjoy it! Details for my coaching membership where this episode was inspired are right here. Huge thanks to Danielle for being a light and someone we can learn alongside. Tessa Romero

Today Ralphie Jacobs is joining the MOMSET Community to empower us to be a safe parent that sees the good in her children. You can look forward to learning about positive parenting, "junk behavior," inconsequential behavior (this blew my mind) and remarkable perspective that keeps you going even when it feels really, really difficult. Look at us- breaking cycles. "We are one generation from the "that's permissive" mentality..." "Parenting is not a societal matter. It's personal, it's spiritual and it's emotional, but it's not societal..." - Ralphie JacobsSign up for Ralphie's "Teach Me How" subscription and check out her fantastic IG account for more tools and light.

Choose quiet observations and follow it with quick, intentional corrections.A few years ago, I realized that explaining every decision to my kids—why they couldn’t have something, what I didn’t like about their behavior—only made things worse. It fueled conflict, invited pushback, and exhausted me emotionally. So I made a change.I started quietly noticing the behavior, keeping my thoughts to myself, and then making a swift correction without fanfare. Whether it was about food dyes, screen time, or behavior after movies, this shift brought peace to our home and confidence to my parenting.You'll want to get a pen and piece of paper ready for the writing exercise in the last part of this episode. It will help you experience a huge shift in mindset and self-empowerment! More details on my coaching membership are right here. I'm excited to hear about your implementation of "quiet observations and quick corrections" to your daily parenting triumphs!

Mother's Day is the time you show up as the mom you want to be and set the tone of what the whole rest of the year will be like for you as a mother. Who you are, what you think, how you feel, what you do as a mother. If you want a perspective like that this Mother's Day then this episode is for you. Packed with 4 key mentalities that support this focus while remaining appreciative of what others do for you and intentional of what you do for others. If you need more help supporting your mental health and daily mindset in motherhood then my coaching membership is the very best place to be. Come receive coaching, be challenged and connected to likeminded expansive women.

It's interesting that moms are being told how good and admirable it is to ask for help, then in the same breath we are told not to help our kids when they ask for it. "They're old enough to do it themselves." "They're big enough to do it themselves." "That's not mine, they should do it.""If I don't do it no one else will." I'm big enough, old enough and perfectly capable of simple tasks and sometimes those are the ones I feel are too big when I have so much else going on. I want my kids to know they can always ask for my help. Even when it's a problem or task to face on their own, I'll be there with them as a listening ear and word of guidance. Why would my kids ask for help with the big stuff if I instilled a "do it yourself" belief with the small stuff? This is my perspective that nurtures my willingness to serve seamlessly, say "yes" to helping and instilling lifelong beliefs. This is the Instagram reel I mentioned in the episode. Click here to learn about my coaching membership if you struggle with your mindset in motherhood and want to be free of your own thoughts.

How long would it take you to write out a list of allll the things you tell yourself you can't do?While some people want to fight to defend this "I can't" mentality so they can feel justified, YOU and I are ready to fight for that fire inside of us that knows WE CAN. This episode walks you through why it can feel so frustrating and freeing to say "I can, I just don't want to." What is the truth we can find when we shift our perspective this way and how to keep your feet on the ground through it all. I did a little IG reel on this! Be sure to do the writing exercise I described in this episode so you can become empowered to face the heart of the "I can't" mentality. I'm cheering you on, always. Remember, I have lots of negative thoughts and poor moments, too. I just really enjoy learning from them and challenging myself to do better with you.

The transition for 3-4 kids was hands down the hardest for me. I realized it was hardest because I had failed to equip my kids with the self-esteem to be independent and responsible in the ways I really needed them to show up while I recovered postpartum. May is our Declutter Your Heart and Home 28 Day challenge in the MOMSET Membership. This is a fantastic time to create a home that serves you and your family so everyone can build their self-esteem and thrive harmoniously. Join here today! Then I realized that I was stealing their self-esteem to build my own. I did just about everything for them everyday and I LOVED doing it. I felt GREAT, but at what cost? How did they get to feel when I took the opportunities from them?I'm sharing the practical changes I have made to build my own self-esteem AND provided endless opportunities for my kids to build their own, too.

Did you know the AVERAGE home has over 300,000 items in it!? Moms have way too much STUFF to manage. Today we have Julia Ubbenga, author of "Declutter Your Heart and Your Home" as well as minimalist living coach, here to encourage us ALL to start making changes. If you're feeling overwhelmed in your home and like you spend your day managing "stuff" and find it impossible to keep up- you'll love this episode. After Julia was diagnosed with PPD and had recently left her job to become a SAHM... she knew she needed to make a change, too. Julis is partnering with the MOMSET Membership to bring a whole home decluttering challenge to us through May. We will have an daily realistic declutter task and will be reading her new book together! This challenge will focus on decluttering your mind, heart and home as Julia and I team up together! All MOMSET Members get to join!Connect with Julia Ubbenga