Wisdom found in pain

Is it possible to find happiness without being in a relationship?  For some, being alone is a comfort, a retreat into a contemplative life that starts by being in love with oneself.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss those aspects of being alone that are sweetened for individuals who find themselves in this state of being or choose to remain so for the comfort of their own company. For a full transcript, click here: LL25-Savoring Loneliness

Controlling behavior is not an uncommon dynamic between couples.  It can be overt or more often unrecognized but the struggle for autonomy contends with the desire to please and the need for clear boundaries that respect both party's rights.  Alvean and Doug take on this fraught topic in thsi episode and offer some counsel on how to avoid finding yourself controlling or being controlled.  For a full traNscript of the episode, click here:LL24-You're not the Boss of Me

You've probably heard it, maybe even believe that opposites are attracted to one another.  But do they make for a good relationship?  In the episode, Alvean and Doug explore the truth and fiction behind the saying and the true path to compatibility.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here:LL23-Do Opposites Attract

The green eyed monster, jealousy, is at the heart of too many failed relationships.  It generally proceeds from a lack of trust or a violation   of the emotional investment one partner has made in the other.  Whatever the underlying cause, jealousy is a difficult monster to tame.  To learn how, listen to Alvean and Doug discuss the subject in this episode.  For a full transcript, click here: LL22-Jealousy

Something happened and you and your ex parted ways.  As is often the case, you both may have regret and after a time drift back into each other's orbits.  Can love be renewed, can ex's reunite successfully?  To find out what Alvean and Doug have to say, listen to this episode and read the transcript here:LL21-Getting Back with Your Ex

Break ups happen and we hope they can be navigated gracefully even though both parties may experience pain and a sense of loss.  But what happens when your ex won't let go, and pain becomes anger and vindictive behavior?  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how survive such an experience and what causes it.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL20-Vindictive Ex's

There are three ingredients for a successful and loving relationship: Honesty, Trust, and Empathy.  In this episode, Alvaen and Doug discuss empathy--what it is and isn't and why it is such an important building block in emotional maturity and life.  For a full transcript, click here: LL19-Empathy is a Lost Virtue

Too often our life experiences harden us and create boundaries that prevent us from having a fulfilling relationship.  In this episode, Alvaen and Doug discuss the power of opening ourselves to others, being vulnerable to pain or hurt but also open to true love and deep emotional bonds.  For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL18-Vulnerability

In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about life's priorities. How do we make sense of all the competing demands on our attention, time and affection? Is there a majoc formula for deciding what reall matters?  For more and a complete transcript, click here: LL17

No one wishes to be in emotional pain but it happens to most of us at some point.  While it may not seem so at the time, pain can bring with it a healing power--wisdom--that helps us avoid the circumstances that led to our hurt in the first place.  In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how we confront ourselves and learn to separate the pain from the lesson.  For more and a full transcript, click here:LL16