How to Have Emotional Safety in Marriage

In honor of my good friend – Mandisa, and to honor her life and legacy, I am re-airing this powerful episode on singleness. Do you feel like you’re struggling with singleness? Struggling with singleness does not make you strange, or crazy, or lacking in faith. It makes you human.  If you are struggling with singleness, this episode is for you. Tune in now! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the podcast, I talk with Lauryn, who is struggling with navigating friendships in this season of singleness. She’s single, but all her friends are married… and she can sometimes feel a bit out of place. She feels as though some of her relationships are becoming unbalanced and she called in looking for some advice. We dug a little deeper into her relationship history, and found out that unbalanced relationships aren’t as new as she thought they were … they are just a little more prominent in this season. I encouraged her to take ownership of her role in relationships, addressing and communicating her needs… and learning to bring balance to her relationships. The most interesting thing about our conversation is what it revealed about her (tune in to find out!) I think this is an important conversation for everyone to listen to, especially if you’ve ever felt the lack of balance in your closest friendships. Tune in now! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Talk To Me, I am joined by Alexis. Her question is, “why do some traumas take longer to heal than others?” Whether you are a trauma survivor, a mental health professional, or someone who is interested in learning more about this important topic, this podcast is for you! Are you ready to talk to me? Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Talk To Me hotline, I talk to Andrew from Texas! His question is, “How do you know you are healed after a past relationship?” After a 16 year marriage ended in divorce, he’s wondering how to know when he has healed… And even more specifically, when is it time to consider dating again after divorce? I answer him by explaining that it’s a complicated question, because everyone’s situation is so different… But if I narrow it down to one thing that I believe differentiates those who are healed from those who are unhealed. What’s that one thing you ask? That’s why you’ve got to tune into this podcast episode, I think it will help you change your perspective no matter what type of relationship you are trying to heal from in your past. We are talking about healing from past relationships today on Talk To Me! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I talk to Ann from Maryland, who struggles with emotionally overreacting. Due to some prior hurts and past relationships, she finds herself triggered by situations that probably have more to do with her past than they do with her present. She’s having a hard time not overreacting in situations of conflict, and wants to figure out why as well as how to react and respond appropriately. She is afraid to push people away due to her emotional reactions, and she called into the hotline to get some help! I help her navigate some of these triggers, and learn to react in emotionally healthy ways instead… It’s a really insightful conversation! If you’ve ever felt triggered in conflict, you need to listen to this episode! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on the podcast I talk with Benjamin from Washington. Benjamin is navigating his life post divorce… wanting to find an emotionally safe environment for himself moving forward and wondering how to do that. We spend a lot of time talking about the fact that emotional safety isn’t something that you necessarily “find” as much as it is something you have to create with intentionality. I help him get to the root of some of his emotional needs, and why it took him so long to identify those needs. We chat about our own role in cultivating emotional safety, and what that looks like in a practical way in our relationships. If you want to create an emotionally healthy relationship, this episode will encourage you! Tune in to this powerful conversation! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Talk To Me, I have a conversation with a woman who is struggling with some underlying anxiety about dating! She’s having a hard time figuring out if the fears she’s having are legitimate or not! Do I have anxiety because this dating relationship isn’t the right fit or do I have anxiety because I’m just scared? And how do you know the difference? Today we talk about facing your fears, recognizing false alarms, important mindset shifts, and dealing with underlying anxiety in dating! Tune in to this powerful conversation today! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Am I over my divorce? Today on Talk To Me, I have a conversation with Jerrod who is wondering if he’s actually moved on from the pain of his divorce. He’s battling feelings of regret from the decisions he’s made in his past, and feeling unable to move forward. In this emotional conversation, we unpack some of the things that he did to contribute to his marriage falling apart…including his personal sexual struggles— and then I give him steps that he can begin to take to move forward into healing. Tune in to this powerful conversation today! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I chat with Rebekah from Florida about how to navigate an unhealthy marriage, especially when you have children, who you are trying to raise in a healthy way! The most interesting part about my conversation with Rebekah is that by the time I was able to get to her question, things had already began to shift in her life!!! She started consuming my podcast and my books, and realized that a huge portion to creating a healthy marriage was learning how to get healthy standing alone… And she got started on her own journey of healing!! Honestly, I was so inspired and encouraged by my conversation with her… And it’s a testament to the fact that when you begin to do the personal work in your life, things begin to shift in your life!!! You are not going to believe her story!! It brought tears to my eyes. For anyone who is in the middle of an unhealthy or difficult marriage, I believe this conversation will give you hope and the perspective you need to take the next steps — even if your spouse is not willing to do the same. Tune in today! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when mental health struggles impact your relationship? On this final of couples therapy, I’m joined by Amanda and Tim. Tim has found himself struggling with trust issues, because of the difficult journey they have been on over the past few years. Amanda has struggled with infidelity in their relationship, but underneath the surface of it all she had been battling bipolar disorder. The ups and downs of their relationship have correlated to her mental health, and they have found themselves struggling to know how to move forward. this conversation is so important, because too many people failed to address the underlying mental health issues that may be having a significant impact on a relationship!! In order for the marriage to heal, the mental illness has to be healed and addressed. Today we talked through what that looks like… and steps for them moving forward. Tune into this important couples therapy session!!! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices