How to Spot and Let Go of Shame

In this special edition episode, Collin Hansen is joined by Melissa Kruger as they look back on the big stories and trends of 2022, discuss how God has moved in and through their ministries, and share books that have stuck with them. They also take some time to thank you, their listeners, for encouraging them in the work of Gospelbound and Let's Talk.To listen to the full episode on the Gospelbound podcast, click here. 

In this episode of Let's Talk, recorded live at TGCW22 in Indianapolis, Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes, and Melissa Kruger discuss gratitude—why we struggle with it and how to cultivate it in our lives.If you've ever struggled to be thankful, listen in to this conversation for practical wisdom on walking in gratitude.Note: This is the final episode of Let's Talk. We've had a great time making this podcast for three seasons, and we're grateful to all of you for listening! Check out more episodes of Let's Talk and other podcast shows from TGC at tgc.org/podcasts. 

On this final episode of season 3 of Let's Talk, Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes, and Melissa Kruger answer listener questions that range all over the place, including:What's a tip for improving communication in marriage?DIY, yes or no?What women's events have impacted you?Why don't we talk about women and porn use in the church?Do you like sports?What's the remedy for compassion fatigue?Do you all feel pressure to comment on social media about what's happening in the world?What are practical ways to get time away from your kids?How do you talk about sex in marriage?How do you cope with seasons of loneliness?What song do you want sung at your funeral?How do you start a conversation when you're seated next to someone at a dinner party?We hope you've enjoyed this season of Let's Talk!Mentioned in this episode:Does the God of the Bible Hate Women?In the Throne Room: The God of Holiness and Hope‘The Church in Her House’: The Dynamic Ministry of Women in Early Christianity"Total Praise" by Richard Smallwood

What is idolatry in our day? The people of Israel were tempted to bow down to literal idols, and in many parts of the world, literal idols and effigies are still believed to hold enormous power. But in the post-Christian West, idolatry—though harder to define—is just as prevalent.On this episode of Let's Talk, Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes, and Melissa Kruger talk about how and why we are tempted to make idols. Although some may think we slip into idolatry when we want too much, Jackie says that, actually, “Idolatry is wanting too little.” When we make idols, she says, we're looking to something that has been created to deliver us. But we need to look higher, above what is created to our Creator.Mentioned in this Episode:The Expulsive Power of a New Affection by Thomas ChalmersRelated Resources:Sin as Idolatry (essay)How to Expose the Idols in Your LifeJuan Sanchez on Image, Identity, and Idolatry (podcast)

Christians are saved by grace, not by works of the law. So where does obedience fit into the Christian life?On this episode of Let's Talk, Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes, and Melissa Kruger talk about how to have a biblical view of obedience and the law. They talk about how to make sense of the Book of James, whether God's law evolves, how to avoid legalism in our homes, and how we sometimes make laws out of our own preferences.The Bible speaks of God's commands as a precious gift. Melissa says, “The law shows us what life by the Spirit looks like.” We should never trust in works of the law for our salvation, but by God's grace, as we mature in our faith, we will learn to treasure his commands. Related Resources:Making Sense of Scripture's 'Inconsistency'Is the Book of James Really Christian?Why Don’t Christians Keep the Jewish Law?3 Dangers of (Merely) Messy Christianity

Sometimes it's easy to spot false teaching, but not all false teachers are so recognizable. The false teachers to whom we are most susceptible may be the hardest to recognize. "There are people [around you] who are going unaware, unnoticed," says Jackie Hill Perry, "that are teaching things that are not in line with the faith, but you don't see it. Why? Because they look like you."On this episode of Let's Talk, Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes, and Melissa Kruger talk about how to identify false teachers as well as the difference between false teaching and mere differences of interpretation. They also talk about how to have a conversation with a friend who follows someone you're concerned may be a false teacher.Related Reading:15 Discernment DiagnosticsCosti Hinn Exposes the Most Abusive Kind of False Teaching Today (podcast)Beware of Broken Wolves

The year 2020 was a year when Americans talked about race. But many would question whether we've gotten better at talking about race, or if we're worse at it than ever. So much is said that is hurtful, yet not saying something may be perceived as saying something.On this episode of Let's Talk, Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes, and Melissa Kruger give practical advice from their own experience for how to talk constructively about race. They discuss why critical race theory has become so controversial, and they talk about books that have helped them understand the history or race relations in America.Above all, they conclude that it's not what you say or don't say that determines whether you can have a productive conversation about race; it's whether you come into a discussion with compassion and humility.Recommended Reading:The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel WilkersonThe Underground Railroad [TGC's Review] by Colson WhiteheadThe Personal Librarian by Marie BenedictCaste by Isabel WilkersonJust Mercy by Brian StevensonCarved in Ebony by Jasmine HolmesRelated Resources:Shai Linne on Pursuing Unity When Discussing EthnicityAgents of Healing for Racial Division (podcast)How to Reach Across the Racial Divide (podcast)

Shame is not a subject that has historically been talked about much in Western culture, but that doesn't mean it's not a big part of how we function as a society. In recent years, books that explain shame—and help women shake it off—have topped the best seller lists.On this episode of Let's Talk, Jackie, Jasmine, and Melissa discuss how the Bible views shame. The concept is present in the Scripture from the time sin entered the world. Jasmine explains, "Adam and Eve, they felt shame about the wrong thing. They weren't like, 'We disobeyed God. That's what the problem is.' They were like, 'Oh my gosh, we're naked. We need to hide. We need some clothes.' And God's like, 'Law broken, but you're naked. Okay, that's what you're worried about right now?'"Listen in as our hosts talk about how we should identify shame and when and how we should let go of it.Related ResourcesHow the Gospel (Uniquely) Speaks to ShameCanceled: How the Eastern Honor-Shame Mentality Traveled WestBlasting Our Shame with the Gospel

We are living in an age of de-conversion. If you've had a Christian friend walk away from the faith, you know what a painful and confusing experience it can be. It may even shake your own belief.In this episode of Let's Talk, Jackie, Jasmine, and Melissa talk about the pain of watching someone lose their faith. They discuss why so many people are deconstructing their beliefs and what sorts of things churches may be able to do walk with those who are doubting so that they don't ultimately walk away. They also note that while the language we use to describe doubt may be new, the phenomenon is not.Related ResourcesBefore You Lose Your Faith: Deconstructing Doubt in the Church (book)Before You Lose Your Faith: Deconstruction and the Church (podcast)Waiting on the Prodigal Spouse or Child You LoveI Never Expected to Doubt4 Causes of Deconstruction

Most people have trouble saying "no," and Christians may have an even tougher time because we worry we are being selfish. But because we are finite beings, we have to place limits on our time and relationships. Even Jesus, who was God incarnate, had boundaries; he walked away from the crowds that were thronging to him to be healed in order to spend time with his Father. (see Luke 5:15–16).On this episode of Let's Talk, Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes, and Melissa Kruger talk about boundaries. According to Jasmine, "Boundaries are what enable us to serve God to the utmost of our ability by prioritizing the mission that he's given us on this earth." We shouldn't make boundaries out of laziness or the desire to avoid what is difficult. Jackie says, "I need to interrogate if I'm setting up a boundary because it's the wise thing to do or if I'm using it as an excuse to preserve my own comforts."A key piece of determining where to set God-honoring boundaries is to remember that we are ultimately called to serve and glorify God, not other people. Of course, we should serve people, but that doesn't mean we should always do what they want us to, especially if it conflicts with the priorities God has placed on our life. Related content:Why Freedom Needs BoundariesWhen a Friendship Becomes Co-DependentHow to Know When to Say NoLet’s Talk: People Pleasing