Bored, Frustrated, Silent

Work keeps moving. Plans change, priorities shift, and something is always urgent. Many of the leaders we coach arrive at sessions scattered, with a hundred things on their minds. We see it in ourselves too.In this episode we talk about grounding. Why it’s so hard to pause when you’re busy. Why it can feel like a waste of time. And why getting things done keeps you on the wheel, especially when everyone praises you for it.We share what helps us. Writing the day’s plan with a fountain pen. A big glass of water before the first coffee ☕ A candle on a dark morning. And one simple question: how am I? Is my energy up or down? What do I actually need right now?We also talk about finding space in an open-plan office, why we need nature around us, and how even a new desktop wallpaper can help 🌿No big routines. Just a minute here and there to check in with yourself. Because you’re more than what you get done. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

Some leaders walk into a room with an aura of power. They challenge, they push, they turn people down flat. And in a hierarchical organisation, most of us say nothing.In this episode we start with a story: a team who pitched for help, got brutally refused, and could not find a way to push back. It had been going on for a while. From there we ask what it costs us to keep giving in, both in the short term and years down the line, and why the habit of shrinking becomes so hard to break.We talk about the stories we tell ourselves. When we cast someone as the villain, what role does that leave for us? Vanessa shares how taking full responsibility for her own pattern of self-doubt gave her more authority than any amount of complaining about the other person ever did.Then we get practical. Why standing your ground is less a mindset and more an embodiment. Simple physical practices that help us feel rooted under pressure, without doing a power pose in the toilet. Why we should never walk into a difficult meeting alone, and what it means to flank each other in a team. Setting a clear intention before we enter the room. And how TK once brought a Warhammer war machine to a hostile change meeting as a reminder of who holds the power.If you have ever left a meeting wishing you had said something, this one is for you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

Ever sat in a meeting where everyone says the right things and nobody says what they really think? We have. This week we talk about toxic politeness. The habit of being nice for so long that the real stuff never gets said. 🤐We share two stories. One team that stayed pleasant and got nowhere. One business that ran for five years while nobody had the hard conversation, until it fell apart.We also get into:* Why it feels safer to stay quiet, and what that silence costs* Blunt or direct? Same thing, different word* Letting poor work slide to keep someone motivated, and what that teaches them* How we learned to disagree with each other on this podcast* Why the hardest person to be honest with is yourselfNobody will hand you the rules. Speaking up or staying quiet is always a trade-off, and as a leader that call is yours. The best place to start is with yourself. 🎙️ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

Your leader is having a bad day. Do you support them, or do you speak up?In this episode, we start from a real story. One of us prepared a piece of work, presented it, and watched it get binned mid-session. The feedback stung. The leader wasn’t at their best. And the instinct was to set the hurt aside and keep things productive.But was that a choice, or just a pattern playing out?We dig into the difference between letting go and suppressing, why “ruinous empathy” quietly trains bad behaviour to continue, and what happens when someone steps on a value you didn’t know you held. We also talk about the courage it takes to slow a moment down and say what you actually need.Because supporting your leader matters. But so do you. 💙 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

Anger. Boredom. Frustration. We all feel them at work. Most of us just push them down.In this episode we get honest about what happens when we do that. Vanessa shares a moment from a training course that woke her up. Being bored, it turns out, was really about anger she couldn’t express. TK opens up about lashing out under pressure, and what a week of guilt taught him about the standards we hold ourselves to.We talk about why anger feels off limits at work, how suppressing it and exploding with it send the same message to a team, and what a healthier middle ground might look like. There’s forgiveness in here too. For others, and the much harder kind, for ourselves.If you’ve ever bitten your tongue in a meeting and felt the cost of it, this one’s for you. 🎧 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

What happens when the person reporting to you holds all the cards? This week we dig into the inverted power dynamic. The one where your team member is so skilled, so valuable, that your own success depends on them. And they know it.We talk about why that makes some leaders deeply uncomfortable. Is it really about control? Can you ever control another person anyway? And we wrestle with a tricky question: should a leader ever admit that insecurity out loud, to the very person causing it?No neat answers this time. Just an honest look at fear, power, and what it means to be “in charge” when you’re not. 🎧As always, we’d love to hear what you’d do in that situation. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

Is change really speeding up? Or is that just a story we keep telling ourselves?In this episode we dig into the narrative around accelerating change. The headlines, the AI hype, the economic bubble, the constant pressure to keep going. We ask whether the pace of change is actually new, or whether our worry about it is the real problem.We talk about cortisol addiction and why humans seem wired to find things to worry about. We explore what leaders can do when people want reassurance but there are no guarantees to give. And we land on something simple but hard: admitting you’re afraid too.Honesty won’t make change slower. But it might make it easier to face together. 🎧 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

Some of us just can’t switch off. We spot a problem and we have to solve it. Even when there’s nothing we can really do about it.This week we look at the high agency trap. That’s the pull to keep fixing, keep pushing, keep trying to shape things that are out of our hands. It feels useful. But it can also keep us up at night and wear us out.We get honest about a few things. When is a fight not ours to take on? Why does losing control feel so unsafe? And is daring to be average actually the braver move?We also share what helps. Stepping back to reflect. Spotting the thought “I must fix this” instead of just acting on it. And learning to hold things a little more lightly.If your brain won’t quiet down, this one’s for you. ☕ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

What does success actually mean if the old corporate ladder is gone?In this episode, we get properly honest about it. Vanessa shares what she’s been working on with her therapist around joy and self-worth. TK talks about learning piano just because it’s fun, not because it leads anywhere.We dig into how easy it is to chase a version of success that was handed to us by someone else. And what happens when we stop and ask: what actually lights me up?We also talk about how leaders can create the space for these kinds of conversations at work. Spoiler: it starts with being a bit vulnerable yourself. 🎹If you’ve ever caught yourself turning every hobby into a goal, or wondering “is this really it?”, this one’s for you. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com

Have you ever been invited into the inner circle? The group that knows things others don’t? 🤔In this episode, we dig into something we see a lot in organisations: using information as power. Sharing secrets with some, keeping others in the dark. It feels like trust. It feels like status. But what does it actually do to a team?We talk through the real impact. The gossip it creates. The anxiety it breeds. And the way it quietly erodes trust over time.We also get honest about our own moments of being pulled in. That feeling of “ooh, I’m in the club” and then the yuck that follows. 😬Because sometimes the bravest thing isn’t joining. It’s pausing and asking yourself: do I actually want to be in there?If you’ve ever felt the pull of the inner circle, or the burden of knowing too much, this one’s for you. 🎙️ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit leadershipwithin.substack.com