No Running Backsies

This week, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn tackle a dispute about Fantasy Football! Litigants (and spouses) Kristen and Tom play in the same Fantasy Football league and Tom has an issue with their last round of drafts. Kristen wanted to draft Buffalo Bills running back James Cook, but couldn’t because of their league rules, so she asked husband Tom to draft him under the condition that Tom would trade him to her at a later date. The trade happened, and Kristen won their league - so why is Tom the one bringing the case before the court? While The Big Game is coming up, we are all still way too focused on the fictional world of hockey in HEATED RIVALRY. Are you also still at the cottage? How many burgers is too many for 2 people? Do you have a beef with hockey because there's not enough YEARNING? Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Don’t forget the most romantic gift you could give your partner: A Fake Internet Court Summons! No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: https://maximumfun.org/jjhoBROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Thanks to reddit users u/wilcoxchatham and u/heyyou11 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Follow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfun  Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

We’ve got some leftovers from the holidays. Let’s pull them out of the fridge and answer them once and for all! Is a French dip REALLY a dip? How early is too early to put up your Christmas tree? How long can you drink eggnog or wear your holiday boxers before your partner falls out of love with you? And FINALLY: are zombies the scariest monsters because they’re REAL? All this - plus an ad for Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific! Shampoo - and more, on today’s HOLIDAY LEFTOVERS edition of Judge John Hodgman!BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Have a question that you can’t settle? No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: https://maximumfun.org/jjhoFollow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfunPlease consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething.  Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Annie brings the case against her friend, David. They belong to a Survivor Fantasy League of two people: Annie and David. Annie says David isn’t playing fair. He’s withholding a point that is technically hers. David, keeper of the Almighty Spreadsheet, is sticking to his guns. Is Annie abdicating responsibility for fair play, or is David being a weenie? And IS a below-ground garage actually a portal to hell? All these questions and more on this week’s episode of Judge John Hodgman. The Tribe has spoken! With Expert Witness, Relationship Coach, and two-time Survivor contestant Francesca Hogi!Francesca watched this season of Survivor just for us, so make sure to check out her book, HOW TO FIND TRUE LOVE. She's also on Instagram @DearFranny and @TrueLoveSocietyBay Area! It's not too late to get tickets for our show at San Francisco Sketchfest this weekend! We'll be at Marine's Memorial on Sunday 1/18! Tickets are moving fast so get them while you can!BROOKLYN! Join Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE at The Bell House for NIGHT COURT (no, not that one)! Get your tickets here: Friday, March 6, Saturday, March 7Thanks to reddit user u/WortlessGBRacker for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Have a question that you can’t settle? No dispute is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at: https://maximumfun.org/jjhoFollow Judge John Hodgman on:YouTube: @judgejohnhodgmanpodInstagram: @judgejohnhodgmanTikTok: @judgejohnhodgmanpodBluesky: @judgejohnhodgmanReddit: r/maximumfunPlease consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Does miming make for good podcasting? Walter thinks it might! Eileen is happy for any silence from Walter. She says he talks too much! Walter's talking can be so overwhelming for Eileen that she feels like her brain is going to explode. She challenged Walter to 3 minutes of silence, but she says he made mouth sounds. So he lost the challenge. Walter says the mouth sounds were a loophole, since he didn't actually speak. Who's right? Who's wrong? And, more importantly, what is a mime doing in the studio? We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/Fukui_San86 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Happy Holidays from the JJHo team! It’s the MOST, wonderful tiiiime of the year: when Judge John Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse Thorn, and Producer Jennifer Marmor try your…favorite? Classic? UNREPEATABLE, jiggly family holiday recipes! We’ll answer all your burning questions like: is Pretzel Salad a side dish or a dessert? What does cottage cheese blended into lime jello taste like? And what REALLY happened on Anne’s grandmother’s life-changing trip to Japan? We’ll answer all those questions, plus settle your holiday disputes, in this very special Holiday Office Party, JELLO edition!San Francisco area litigants, join us LIVE at San Francisco Sketchfest on Sunday, January 18th for a very special road court episode of Judge John Hodgman. Don’t wait – get your tickets now here! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Are you a knuckle cracker? Or do you hate the sound? What other bodily functions make "fun" noises? The J Squad discusses this and much more in the last Members Only Mailbag of 2025! Available now in the members-only bonus feed!Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to our full library of bonus content. Gift-giving season has come to a close but why not give yourself a lil treat?Thank you to all of our members for keeping this show going! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

It's time to clear the docket and offer some SNACK JUDGMENTS! Who better to offer expertise than the best snackologists in the biz, Michael Ian Black and Tom Cavanagh of MIKE AND TOM EAT SNACKS! Should you pack road trip snacks or go wild at Buc-ee's? What is the right way to eat a Fruit Roll Up? What kind of potato chip was Jesse eating before the recording?Did you know that MIKE AND TOM EAT SNACKS is back with brand new episodes? Find it at matescast.com!San Francisco area litigants, join us LIVE at San Francisco Sketchfest on Sunday, January 18th. Don’t wait - get your tickets now here!That time of the year between the holidays and New Year’s is the perfect time to bust out your coziest goth gear - and subtly signal to your family, via hat, whether they are RIGHT or WRONG. Get all our merch, plus the smell of Pure Justice, at our store here: maxfunstore.com/collections/judge-john-hodgmanBecome a member to unlock special bonus episodes, exclusive merch, and more by joining us at maximumfun.org/join. Have a dispute that you can’t settle? No case is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at maximumfun.org/jjho. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Kate wants to adopt another elderly snake to replace their deceased pet Ember, but Wes is hesitant to open his heart again to another senior snake adoption. What is the optimal leg to pet ratio? Is it easier to give birth to something with no bones? Who is the placenta lady - should we be scared of her? More importantly, who's right? Who's wrong?It’s the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy gothcozyclothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/haylstorm090 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Holly brings the case against her mother, Joelle. Joelle can’t tell a story about her day to day without cracking herself up. When she’s giggling, no one can understand what she’s saying. Joelle says talking to her daughters makes her so happy. She feels relaxed enough to let it all hang out, giggles and all. But Holly says STOP LAUGHING. She just wants to know what Joelle is talking about. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? It’s the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy gothcozyclothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/HarryElephante for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!

Experience the magic that is Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE in Brookline! In this episode of Road Court, the Judge decides how much of those tasty leftovers are worth saving, marvels at the wonders of a Bronze Hotdog (still not a sandwich!), and litigates whether an uncle who hates A Christmas Carol is, in fact, a Scrooge. Does an apple pie that is extremely close to a cheesecake deserve an award for pie, or is it stolen culinary valor?Huge thanks to Samantha Couture from the Massachusetts Historical Society! If you want to know more about that bronze hot dog, listen to this episode of the MHS' podcast The Object of History. Follow the MHS on Instagram at @mhs1791.It’s the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy gothcozyclothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/Hyphum for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Become a member to unlock special bonus episodes, discounts on our merch, and more by joining us at: maximumfun.org/join!