480 – Cross-Time Tattoo Parlor

In which Pete Wisdom canonically smells weird; we are inordinately entertained by a villain; everyone levels up their superpowers; and you probably shouldn’t shave the logo of your secret super team into the side of your head.

In which Adrienne Frost is absolutely terrible (and so was Ronald Reagan); you should not put guns in your butt; Synch deserved better; and Jay and Miles inventory their favorite dangling plot threads of the ‘90s. X-PLAINED: Several potential origins of Havok’s stupid hat Generation X #67-70 Revolution (more) (again) Shockwave (more) (again) Adrienne Frost (more) (again) The New Xavier School and/or Massachusetts Academy (more) (again) Possible necrophilia Dorm life How not to draw clothing Rules of entry to Jubilee’s dorm room The Rich Person Store How to say the word “consigliere” The ‘90s Blackmail Limits of telepathy Arson Ninja Boogie Panic How to keep Synch safe Adultification Failure to keep Synch safe Where to pick up to follow along with us Plot threads we’d like to see picked back up NEXT EPISODE: X-Force goes Counter-X! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

In which we check in on Nate Grey; yet another Madelyne Pryor is not what she seems; dead men tell tales; there are a lot of Canadians out there; and Nate gets a makeover.

In which Genosha gets better and/or worse; Fabian Cortez is the Secretary of Betrayal; having an action figure of yourself is the path to immortality; and Hammer Bay sounds like a sex toy company. X-PLAINED: Triathlon The Revolution relaunch and the six-month gap Magneto: Dark Seduction #1-4 Erotic skyscrapers Magneto (again) (forever) X-Men Tijuana Bibles The Genoshan Cabinet Dark friendship with benefits Polaris’s newfound interest in heavy metal Magneto's on-again, off-again children Carrion Cove Coloring symbolism and/or errors Spat and Grovel (kind of) Magneto’s ancestral f**k-ghost Socialism! Magneto’s mysterious mind-voice Neal Conan The Avengers of 2000 Kirby Krackle Magneto’s smooth arc into villainy Bonking Human nature Rachel Summers in the Body Shoppe Our (lack of) coverage of solo comics NEXT EPISODE: X-Man! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog. Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

In which Alan Davis is Team Cyclops; everyone gets depowered; it’s hard to connect with kids your age when you’re a superhero; Sinister’s gotta sinister; everyone gets repowered; and the ‘90s were much more eclectic than they get credit for being.

In which reality shatters; Ghost Rider wants friends; Jay’s toddler weighs in on the X-Men; the Phoenix costume is pretty much perfect; Caliban puts all his resources into an epic mount; and the future is so bright you’re gonna need shades.

In which we remain adamant pro-POG advocates; Artie and Leech have adventures; Firestar and Emma Frost get some resolution; Santa Claus may or may not be the avatar of Cyttorak; Black Tom Cassidy exceeds expectations; and Monet has vampire problems. X-PLAINED: Marvel’s Revolution line POGs (somewhat) (again) Who’s on Generation X these days Generation X #59-62 Artie and Leech’s adventures in NYC Holidays at the Massachusetts Academy Cordelia Frost (more) (again) Mondo (the real one) Santa Claus / Juggernaut disambiguation An overly convoluted plot Parenting? St. Croix family problems Vampire problems Legacies of Generation X NEXT EPISODE: Ages of Apocalypse! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Meet Dani, Dani, Dani, and Dani. (X-Force #99) In which we wrap up John Francis Moore’s run on X-Force; the Demon Bear returns (kinda); four Moonstars are not in fact better than one; the Queen of Star Swords is an extremely rad villain; and X-Force takes a very contained multiversal tour. X-PLAINED: Multiversal canon X-Force #99-100 The Demon Bear (more) (again) Arcadia DeVille (more) (again) Mary Weather Fenwick Meridian The Queen of Star Swords The Cathedral Cable (but not that Cable) The X-Forces of several universes Earth-3100 Earth-10003 Earth-130000 Earth-8280 Earth-23100 Non-mutants on the X-Men The provenance of the Brood X-men NEXT EPISODE: Mondo! (The real one, this time.) Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

Classic (x2). (Warlock #2) In which the Warlock ongoing series is fun, and fun is good; people should maybe leave Doug Ramsey’s grave alone; Tony Stark is probably not in touch with the Indigo Girls; the heroes skate awfully close to the “no killing” line; Bastion gets exhumed, rehumed, and re-exhumed; you should really read the Avengers Academy Infinity Comic; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever. X-PLAINED: X-related characters of Avengers Academy Warlock vol. 5, #1-9 Warlock (more) (again) M-Tech Jay’s Bluey Test for all-ages media The visual semiotics of Warlock Project Mainspring Hope (Esperanza Ling) Chi-Chee Psi-cops Gatekeepers Technarchs The transmode virus A fancy hat Many guest stars The Phalanx (more) (again) Psiren Psimon The techno-mechanic virus Complicated feelings Psycho Man (more) (again) Astro-computers Hope’s actual powers Template Magus (more) (again) Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic Why there are so many Canadian comic-book writers Superhero comics vs. religious texts Defining heroism Escapade Captain America of the Railways Bloodline Red Goblin Moon Girl Kid Juggernaut Blackheart Ongoing storytelling Emplate as a queer character Marcus Wetherell What else to read if you love Avengers Academy Marvel Voices Infinity Comic The 11th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence Many people to whom we are profoundly grateful NEXT EPISODE: The return of the Demon Bear! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our TeePublic shop!

In which you know it’s serious business when a logo gets smashed; the prophecy of the Twelve is an elaborate prank; we have a lot of Summers family feelings; Apocalypse is not a very good planner; and the Twelve reaches its conclusion.