How Santo Cilauro Dads - Provide Consistency, Variation… Oh, and strap yourself in!

Behavioural Paediatrician Dr Billy Garvey returns to tell us about the science behind the stories of Season 3.  Dr Billy has picked some moments where our generous guests have touched on areas on which there is lots of evidenced based research, and then he breaks it down to some super simple stuff that we can all put into practice. In this stacked episode we look at… Improving self esteem through kids developing mastery of something (Bret McKenzie Ep), how to be an authoritative parent, not an authoritarian and how there is a big difference! (Wippa’s Ep), talk about composure and how important our own self regulation is (Nathan Fa’avae Ep), the importance of making sure we are always adapting our parenting based on the kid that is in front of us (Andy Griffiths Ep), the power of working on ourselves and the protective elements that can help kids avoid trauma or help them deal with it (Wayne Hope Ep) and why being honest with our kids and creating an a safe environment where they can always tell what they think is so important (Paddy Brammall Ep). Some really great stuff. Huge thanks to Billy.  He is so generous with his time to listen to all our episodes and apply his clinical wisdom.  You can get more of Billy and his podcast Pop Culture Parenting HERE or his great book, 10 Things I Wish You Knew About Your Child’s Mental Health.  Equally huge thanks to all our guests that came on this season and shared their stories and wisdom. Obviously this podcast wouldn’t exist without their generosity and we were so lucky to chat with them. And giant thanks to you guys for listening and taking an interest. We love making this show and it’s a great privilege to have you guys tune in.  Xx Hame & Tim — And lastly a tip of the cap to our fantastic sponsor HERTZ who are instrumental in making this podcast happen.  We are all about getting out there and adventuring with your kids, and HERTZ can help you make it happen. Visit hertz.com.au/hodd to access an exclusive 25% off the base day rate for your next car hire.  T&Cs and exclusions apply. Not all Hertz Locations offer this special discount rate. --- There are some references to domestic violence in this episode. If you know somebody that is suffering from domestic violence and needs help, 1800Respect.org.au is a good place to start. 1800RESPECT is the national domestic, family, and sexual violence counselling, information and support service. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or family violence, you can call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732, text 0458 737 732 or visit the website for online chat and video call services:    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One of Hamish’s oldest and dearest friends finally sits down on the HODD couch for a well overdue chat. Wippa and Hame talk all the time, but not often about the deep stuff that drives them to be better dads. In a conversation that is equal parts serious and silly, Hame and Wip discuss the formative impact of Wip’s own dad, dealing with big questions children unexpectedly ask, how Wip tries to show his kids that nothing is impossible, and why setting out to build a birdhouse that ultimately becomes home to a rare rat is still a massive win for the family. Oh, and they laugh a lot. At times because Wip has told a funny story, but more often because he has told an entirely inappropriate story with explicit language to match. Apologies in advance. We should have known better. You can of course catch Wippa with Fitzy and Kate Ritchie on NOVA FM. And you can learn more about the good work Wip is doing with 36 Months HERE. Last episode for the season comes out next week and luckily for us Dr Billy is back with some actual expertise… so get the pens ready. — And big thanks to HERTZ who are our exclusive sponsor in season 3.  And just like us, Hertz are all about making memories and having adventures.  So if you need a great car to complete your next family getaway, head to hertz.com.au/hodd for a great discount. Terms and conditions do apply.  See the website for details on these, as some exclusions do apply.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Andy is responsible for igniting a love of reading in millions of kids. It’s a complex alchemy, but bum jokes have played a large part in it. From The Day My Bum Went Psycho to the hugely popular Treehouse series (which he created with longtime collaborator Terry Denton and which was edited by his wife Jill), Andy has written wild, boundless and very funny adventures that have drawn many kids into the beautiful escapism of books who otherwise may have missed out. With more than 30 books to his name (and as an ex-school teacher), Andy has become an expert in delving into young minds, and knowing what is going to excite, amaze and keep them turning the page. So we were very excited to chat to Andy and see what he might have gleaned from his unique vantage point as a kids author, and of course from his own dadding journey.   Andy is extremely humble, but passes on some wonderful wisdom and also shares perhaps one of the best ideas we’ve heard for the gathering and preserving family lore. The Family Book. It’s near the end of the chat, so listen out for it! Andy is a big believer in creating space for kids to be who they are, not who we want them to be (a familiar refrain we hear from our learned guests dad) and tries to practise a simple ethos through it all.  Loving What Is - because that’s what’s happening!  Great words to live by, for sure. Massive thanks to Andy - we loved this chat.  You can find out lots more about Andy HERE and find his new book, The Land of Lost Things HERE. — And if you love family adventures, hit the road and take one!  But before you do, get in touch with our best friends and the exclusive sponsor of How Other Dads Dad… HERTZ.  Visit hertz.com.au/hodd to access an exclusive 25% off the base day rate for your next car hire.  T&Cs and exclusions apply. Not all Hertz Locations offer this special discount rate.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

An awesome outdoorsy special, with inspirational outdoor specialist, Rick Petersen. Rick featured in Season 2 of Alone Australia, and quickly became a fan fave (especially for Hame), with his unwavering positivity in the face of huge adversity and very little food! Beyond trying to stay alive on Alone, using his skills as an ex-soldier and expedition leader in the NT, Rick currently runs weekend camps for people looking to reconnect with the outdoors, including a special focus on dads and sons. As you’ll find out, the deeper purpose beyond learning to build shelters and start a fire is Rick’s passion to bring people together and foster powerful intergenerational connections, and Rick is a master at this.   We were lucky enough to experience this with Rick! He invited us up to QLD (or maybe we invited ourselves?) and we took the kids out bush for a few days, and it was just magic. His love and deep knowledge of nature, his calmness, his equanimity… It was amazing to witness the effect on our kids.  But we also eventually remembered we were there to record an episode, and wow… are we glad we did. Rick is so full of quiet, thoughtful wisdom, often hard earned and we just know so many people are going to get a lot from this chat. Rick, with amazing courage, also reflected on his childhood and revealed that tragically it involved him being the victim of child sexual abuse, so just a heads up that does come up in this episode. (support services listed below) Rick’s openness and kindness is just so inspiring. The way he’s made his life about giving back to the community, the beautiful relationship he has with his wife and two sons… it was a real privilege to spend time with him, and we reckon you’ll feel the same way after listening to this. Sincere thanks to Rick. What a legend. And if you’re interested in joining Rick for a weekend like this, go to rickjpetersen.com - We literally can’t recommend it enough. PS - You can find heaps of awesome Rick TikTok content HERE and follow him on Insta HERE. PPS - if you wanna see just how full on the cliffs were on Tasman island where Rick spent the first few years of his life… Have a look HERE.  Crazy! —— SUPPORT SERVICES Information relating to child safety and protection may bring up strong feelings for some people. Remember, you are not alone. If you need assistance or support, contact details for dedicated support services are below. You can get support for you or anyone you know that has been affected by child sexual abuse at Bravehearts.org.au or Free Call 1800 272 831 - an organisation dedicated to the prevention and treatment of Child Sexual abuse that also offers counciling and education.  You can also go to www.childsafety.gov.au/get-support to see a wide range of support services. If you or a child are in immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000). Information on reporting child safety concerns can be found on the Child Safety Make a report page. And Life Line is available 24 hours a day on 13 11 14 ----------------- Big thanks to HERTZ for helping make this special outdoorsy episode happen.  We used a couple of top-notch, brand new HERTZ 4WD’s to lug all our gear and kids into the bush to camp with Rick, and of course the service was amazing, the kid’s car seats were pre-fitted, the cars were sparkling clean (not by the end!) and the pick-up and drop-off experience was a breeze. HERTZ - It’s car rental made extra special. Head to hertz.com.au/hodd to access an exclusive 25% off the base day rate for your next adventure.  T&Cs and exclusions apply. Not all Hertz Locations offer this special discount rate.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As a long time host of Play School, Luke’s probably spent more time entertaining kids than any of us ever will! But beyond that, he’s an amazingly accomplished actor… from getting his start on the kids show Lift Off! back in the early 90s, to being a regular on the awesome Redfern Now and more recently in the big budget adaption of The Artful Dodger on Disney+, not to mention a tonne of amazing theatre over the years. Luke is super generous and frank in this chat, talking openly about what it was like to have a kid really young, the powerful role his mum played in his life, and also talking honestly about his new blended family, the amazing joy that has brought him and his two sons and the deep love he has for his step-daughters... but also some of the unique challenges they have all had to navigate.   As you’ll hear, Luke brings such positivity and fun to his parenting, but it’s also obvious he understands that tenacity and sacrifice is a big part of it too… We get the feeling Luke leaves it all on the field when it comes to dadding. It was beautiful to hear him talk with such passion, and we are sure you’ll agree. PS - we recorded this episode a while ago, and Luke has since tied the knot and made his blended family official!  Huge congrats to Luke!!   Luke is in a bunch of stuff at the moment, including The Artful Dodger on Disney + and you’ll soon find him in the upcoming season 2 of SCRUBLANDS on Stan (and of course on Play School) Thanks as always to you guys for listening - you can get in touch at howotherdadsdad.com — And big thanks to HERTZ who are back as our exclusive sponsor in season 3.  And just like us, Hertz are all about making memories and having adventures.  So if you need a great car to complete your next family getaway, head to hertz.com.au/hodd for a great discount. Terms and conditions do apply.  See the website for details on these, as some exclusions do apply.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When you push your limits and things get a little uncomfortable, you often learn something about yourself.  When you repeatedly do it for years, we reckon you must learn some universal truths about humans and how we tick. As a professional adventure racer, Nathan has spent much of his adult life pushing his physical and mental boundaries and helping those in his racing team do the same.  Hame came across Nathan watching World’s Toughest Race on Amazon, which Nathan and the Kiwi team won by some margin. But it was the fact they did it with so little fuss that struck Hame and made him want to get in touch with Nathan.  (It must have annoyed the TV producers so much that the winning team was seemingly doing it with no drama! Kiwi’s don’t get worked up enough to make good reality TV!) But beyond adventure racing Nathan has been an outdoor educator, team building consultant and event producer, helping people of all backgrounds safely push their limits in the outdoors.  So, when he and his wife Jodie had kids they saw no reason to change things, and have been taking their kids on, in Nathan’s words, “epic adventures” from a very young age. But this chat is not just for outdoorsy adventurey types, Nathan’s wisdom can be universally applied. He explains how he tries to incorporate the same philosophies as captain of the NZ adventure racing team as he does at home - Offer respect and composure at all times, no matter what, to ensure that communication is always open. To have a strong team you need to know how people are feeling and no one opens up to an erratic yeller! Nathan also beautifully explains how his Samoan heritage helps him bring “Polynesian chill” to his parenting and problem solving, how he and his wife helped each other develop their own individual parenting styles, and how he fosters independence and freedom for his kids, while offering support at every step. Like all our great guests, Nathan is the first to admit he hasn't got it perfect, or even close. But as he says, your family is your most important team, and the commitment he shows to his is clear.  We really loved spending time with Nathan, he’s an inspirational guy and we can’t thank him enough for taking the time to come over to Wellington and have a chat. (And his no questions asked cancellation clause in the event of good powder skiing was equally inspiring, and readily agreed to by us!) You can find out more about Nathan HERE.  And if you like getting outdoors and still eating tasty food, check out Nathan’s REAL MEALS - awesome tasting and nutritionally great freeze dried food for adventurers. And yes, they ship to Aus. You can get in touch with us at howotherdadsdad.com - we love to hear from you, and thanks to all of you that have written in. — And as always, big thanks to our friends at HERTZ.  For this adventure across the ditch we took our kids and lots of gear, and to make our trip seamless and hassle free we used HERTZ.  The pick up at the airport in Wellington was a breeze, the cars were sparkling clean, smelled great, the kids seats were pre-fitted and dropping it back was equally straightforward.  If you’ve got an adventure planned in Australia, go to hertz.com.au/hodd where you can grab a 25% discount off the base rate. T&Cs and exclusions apply - see website for details.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

HODD overseas adventure time! We headed to Wellington to chat with Kiwi comedy and music legend, and one half of Flight of the Conchords, Bret McKenzie and he gave us a masterclass on playing with our kids. Bret makes up silly stuff for a day job (he even won an Oscar for it!) and as a dad he’s focused his gift for absurdity and daftness into creating pro level games for his kids, and he gives us some of his best hits. They’re awesome! Seriously, you’re gonna want to write them down.  Bret also has some great insights about why putting in the time is so powerful, why connecting with community and investing in your neighbourhood is so good for your kids and also how to keep a lookout for that special thing that fires your kid up and ignites that spark of interest. He also reveals that despite his best efforts he might never get a billy cart built for his younger son. When it comes to DIY construction, Bret makes a great songwriter. However, one great thing Bret has constructed is a life that ensures he is there for his family, and his passion for simply turning up and providing consistency for his kids is clear… even if this means they just think he’s a half decent chauffeur.  We can’t thank Bret enough for having a chat, we got seriously inspired on the creative play front, and man did we laugh a lot. Bret’s album, Songs without Jokes is here on Apple or here on Spotify - check it out! And obviously, if you’ve never seen Flight of the Conchords, please drop everything now and do so - it truly is one of the all time greats. You can contact us howotherdadsdad.com — On our little NZ adventure we needed cars to move our families and gear around, and of course we used our friends at HERTZ.  Getting the keys was a breeze, the cars were brand new and in great condition, and drop off back at the airport was super simple and lightening fast.  So next time you travel, do the same and use HERTZ.  And if that travel is in Australia, go to hertz.com.au/hodd where you can grab a 25% discount off the base rate. T&Cs and exclusions apply - see website for details.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

He’s been on our screens making us laugh for years, most recently in Colin From Accounts, but in this chat Patrick Brammall unpacks one of his more meaty roles to date… Being a first time dad!  Patty’s path to parenthood is a little unique with him and his wife Harriet Dyer adopting a baby girl in 2021 (Harriet is also co-creator/co-star of Colin From Accounts). Patty talks us through this experience, how it’s fundamentally changed him, his perspectives and priorities. And given his daughter was just 2 and a half when we recorded this, Patty is the first to admit that he really is still trying to figure this dadding thing out!! Patty is so honest about the ups and the downs, his hopes and fears, the sleep deprivation and the toll it’s taking on his face, and how he is still coming to terms with the fact that his time will never be his own again (well, not for the next 15 years or so). Patty, like all of us, is attempting this parenting Rubik's cube on the fly, and sometimes it's working, and sometimes it’s not!! And if that wasn’t enough, we have a brief musical interlude from a neighbour. This episode has got it all! Huge thanks to Patty (and Harriet) for sharing this really personal story, and for carving time out of a pretty jammed schedule to chat with us. In Australia Seasons 1 and 2 of Colin From Accounts is on Binge - and it’s really really great. If you have not seen it you really should watch it, like tonight. You can drop us a line anytime at howotherdadsdad.com - we love hearing from you guys. Thanks for listening! *Producer Note - Despite anything Hamish says to the contrary, all music contained within this episode is fully licensed for all necessary exploitation and distribution, including the music which the neighbour started playing through Hamish’s Bluetooth speaker inadvertently.  — Big thanks to our great friends at HERTZ, our exclusive sponsor for the whole of Season 3!  Just like us, they are big fans of adventure and memory making and in a great deal for HODD listeners, if you need a rental car in Australia, head to hertz.com.au/hodd for 25% off the base rate.  What a great deal!  Ts&Cs apply.  See website for details.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“I wasn’t going to miss the podcast just because I was slightly paralysed” - It’s one of the better quotes we’ve had on the show! But it neatly sums up the unassuming yet unflappable nature of Dr Harry, who unless you were on a 12 month silent retreat in 2018, you’d know was the cave diving anaesthetist who helped in the against all odds rescue of the Wild Boars soccer team trapped in a flooded Thai cave. Dr Harry is in a unique position to talk about the art of risk taking, and it’s something he’s taken a keen interest in since that phenomenal rescue, especially how it relates to kids.  In this episode Dr Harry very kindly shares with Hame his thoughts on teaching kids about risk mitigating rather than risk taking, building resilience and overcoming fear, on the generational changes in parenting that he’s noticed and reflecting on what he might have done differently as a dad… it’s a super wide ranging chat - one that we were so, so lucky to have… not least because a few days out from us recording with Dr Harry, he’d been diving down a very very deep cave and had a little run in with the diver’s constant nemesis, the bends. Thankfully it all worked out OK! But I think you’ll agree, it was some Gold Standard Guest Commitment to turn up to our humble podcast, for sure! --- Dr Richard Harris SC OAM & 2019 joint Australian of the Year (nice title, right?!) has got lots of great stuff going on... His 3 series podcast REAL RISK is awesome. It’s got some amazing chats with people who manage some pretty massive risks  (the saturation diving episode is so good) He’s written a couple of great KIDS BOOKS on different ways to be brave and kind, called Alfie the Brave & Alfie the Kind. The book he and Craig Challen wrote AGAINST ALL ODDS about the cave rescue is also amazing AND very excitingly he’s working on a feature documentary called Deeper, directed by Jennifer Peedom, produced by Stranger than Fiction and distributed by Madman. The film follows the story of Harry and his mates attempting a dangerous and unprecedented dive in a remote (and very deep!) NZ cave - it’s out next year and we can’t wait! — Now, if you DON’T want to take a risk with your next hire car (and who would), make sure you use our friends at HERTZ. And because friends help friends out, HERTZ are offering our savvy listeners 25% off the base rate at hertz.com.au/hodd. Ts&Cs and exclusions apply.  See website for details. Big thanks to HERTZ for the ongoing support of the podcast and helping us bring these great chats and discussions to you.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

He’s helped create some of Australia’s most memorable comedic characters, battled tirelessly to elevate Football (the proper round ball kind!) to the upper echelons of Australian sport, and most importantly, he’s the father to 2 (now adult) sons. But before looking at his own dadding, Santo takes us back to Melbourne in the 1960s and 70s, painting a vivid picture of the multi-generational approach to parenting that he experienced growing up in a migrant family, especially the huge role his grandfather played. Things were a touch looser back then! With his own kids now young adults, Santo is able to explain to us how his approach to parenting has changed over the years. But he’s come to think there are a couple universal elements, and he borrowed them from some advice the late, great John Clarke gave on comedy writing. John said audiences like two, seemingly incompatible things… consistency and variation. Santo reckons kids are the same. You need the consistency to keep turning up, be rock solid and always there for them, but the ability to vary your approach based on what they are presenting, what they are going through and who your kid is.  Pretty bloody smart if you ask us!!   Santo shares a bunch of gems like these, and of course some great stories and behind the scenes moments from The Late Show and The Castle (you’ll get some of Dennis Denuto’s origin story!) Santo is super honest, humble and doesn’t waste time trying to convince us he has all the answers - as he says, parenting is an adventure and sometimes you just gotta go with it! But he is pretty steadfast about one thing… you really should force your kid to learn an instrument!  Huge thanks to Santo for making the time to chat, we absolutely loved it. Huge thanks to you for listening - You can drop us a line anytime at howotherdadsdad.com - we love hearing from you guys. — And a people mover sized thanks to our very good friends at HERTZ who are our exclusive sponsor for Season 3.  Just like us, they are big fans of adventure and memory making and in a great deal for HODD listeners, if you need a rental car in Australia, head to hertz.com.au/hodd for 25% off the base rate.  What a great deal!  Ts&Cs and exclusions apply.  See website for details.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.