Women: “Men need to be more social!” “NOT LIKE THAT!” | HBR Talk 414

"Women are presenting us with this paradox that we won't have sex with you until a different woman has had sex with you. We won't approve of you until another woman has approved of you. So you go — what do I do then?" Hannah Wallen hosts Talk 414 on a post arguing men need to be more social, and the reaction when they are. Also: why "women don't owe you sex" is not an answer to men being shut out of social contact entirely; Alcoholics Anonymous and the concept of loving detachment; and what the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is shielded from. "Women complain that their preferred partners are narcissists. Their preferred partners are the top twenty percent of men. So obviously they are." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"She was a really great mother, and then she was a bad mother when she killed her kids, but then she went back to being a great mother again after that." Brian and Alison talk about the hunt for the holdout juror's identity, and a commentator who reframed the case as being about the women of colour serving time for the same thing. Also: the superchat pointing out that if hormones acquit Lindsay Clancy there are rapists who qualify too; why a juror weighing one piece of evidence against another was treated as proof he was being duplicitous; and the offer the holdout made that shows he was willing to step aside to keep his conscience. "She still believes Lindsay Clancy is guilty. She just admitted it. What happened in that jury chamber to make this woman not vote her conscience? That's the sisterhood in action." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"But he had the hardest time getting off the fact that Lindsay viciously killed her children." "By killing her children, she declared herself innocent." "If I had been on that jury, I would have declared the electric chair for Lindsay Clancy and my fellow jurors." Brian and Alison work through NBC Boston's exclusive interview with three of the nine female jurors from the Lindsay Clancy mistrial, and count out five separate perversions of justice in what the jurors volunteer about themselves. Also: the juror who rated the defense attorney arrogant, entertaining and compassionate all at once, and his pitch for Trump to pardon a state conviction. Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"You took the mask off. Now you're mad that men saw and rejected what you showed them. And you can't put the hangover back in the beer bottle." Brian, Hannah Wallen and Dr Randomercam on the mistrial in the Lindsey Clancy case, and a defence attorney who narrowed the holdout juror down to one of three people on air. Also: Gloria Steinem's death at 92 — comparing reactions a year to the day after Charlie Kirk was shot. Corey Walsh, charged with the murder of her two-year-old son, who told police he was the devil. And Shannon Galligan, who hit her ex with a saucepan, strangled him, stabbed him in the arm and forced him out a window with a fractured vertebra — then got a suspended sentence, her defence citing ADHD. "This was rage. This wasn't 'I can't keep track of what's going on, and oh gosh, how did that happen.' This was seething rage and deliberate violence — and she expects to get away with it because, look, I have ADHD, aren't I cute?" "His shoulder brushed hers as he fled the room she was throwing heavy objects in. He got eighteen months. The judge's view was that he should have been brave enough to go out the second-storey window instead." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"That's not toughness. That's just numbness with a flag pin." Brian and Alison read a listicle explaining why conservative men are undatable, and bad in bed, and work through the reasons one at a time. Also: the writer's other blog, and what she's doing around other people's teenagers; why virtue signalling about trans people, immigrants and abortions she'll never need is her way of announcing where she sits; and the point at which the criteria foreclose on every man alive, not just conservative ones. "She's not just talking about conservative men being bad in bed. Any man who can't cerebro his way through her crime minefield is bad in bed. Which leaves her lesbians." "She only exists in relation to everyone else. That's what she's protecting. So if you can't respect the signalling, you don't respect her — because she is literally her position in the web, and nothing else." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"The encouragement of women to be their worst selves — that's the phrase that always comes back to me. It's like they just want women to be awful. And a lot of women, surprise, have in them the capacity to be awful." Brian and Alison talk to Professor Janice Fiamengo about her new book, The Goddess That Failed, on the founding documents of the feminist movement and what they actually say. Also: the Seneca Falls declaration, signed by men, asserting that man's object was absolute tyranny over woman; the Suzanna Danuta Walters essay instructing men how to be despised slightly less; the Redstockings manifesto and where emotional labour came from; and why women who defend a mother who killed her children can't be angry at the perpetrator. "Some of us were alive in 1974. I shopped with my mother, who had a whole bunch of credit cards." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"Chronic bitulism. Not botulism — it's not bacterial, it's a completely different bug. A condition of chronic irrational irritability in which one draws connections between unrelated thoughts and facts, to support a continued bad mood." Brian, Hannah Wallen and Dr Randomercam on GTA VI, and a bond system that tracks time spent together, text replies and mutual attentiveness — with those numbers feeding into story outcomes. Also: the Red Dead patch that penalised players for killing the suffragette, and what the panel reads into a developer doing that; obituaries for Tim Curry, Dolly Parton and Peter Cullen, plus a game of guessing which of the three said what; and a viewer reporting a TikTok defence of Lindsey Clancy — "let's not think about her children as living people for a second, let's think of them as vases." "I don't give a shit about new bands and haven't for twenty years. I don't want to know who Cardi B is and it annoys me. That's how I feel about GTA VI — and now, out of the blue, I know all about it." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"This isn't even a target anymore. It's the smell a target left. You know how radiation leaves a shadow? That's it. And they're saying — hey guys, try to hit it." Brian and Alison read a blog by a woman explaining that men are radicalising, and that feminist men give her the ick. Also: why going to college now reduces a man's likelihood of being married; what the genetic bottleneck argument actually shows; and her stated ask — "I'm asking for someone who thinks I am a person" — set against the 2.3 times more income liberal women want men to earn. "Apparently her personhood is denominated in buckaroos." "I've laid out these minefields of things that could destroy me should he do them. But he shouldn't feel nervous about that. He should be blithely strolling through this minefield as if he doesn't have a care in the world — while caring deeply." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"There's a kind of ghoulish happiness about people they think are bad and dangerous being killed. They were celebrating, but they were also signalling — look at me, I'm saying the thing everyone's supposed to say." Brian sits down with Dr Benedict Beckeld, philosopher and author of Western Self-Contempt: Oikophobia in the Decline of Civilizations, on why cultures come to hold themselves in contempt — and why he thinks it isn't new, or an excess of empathy. Also: macro and micro monomania, his terms for reading all of history through one lens; which class the contempt starts in and how it spreads; the Canadian identity built on not being American; and whether the "weak men create hard times" idiom survives contact with the historical record. "Nothing is more human than taking a good idea too far. Once somebody levels a good point of self-critique against his own community, the next person has to show he's even smarter, and levels a more extreme one." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online

"It's very important to not notice the thing, because if you notice the thing, it becomes your responsibility. You don't want to be responsible for it, so it doesn't exist anymore." Hannah Wallen hosts with Lauren Brooks, Mike Stevenson and Richard the Lionhearted on what a health system does to the men inside it — assessment regimes, disability payments that come in under the wage they replace, and who is trusted to explain their own symptoms. Also: baby Alfie, held until he died rather than released for treatment abroad; the invisible disabilities that get you accused of faking; and why the panel thinks the male loneliness epidemic is misnamed. "They want him to apply for a job and report to work while he's dying. And the people who assess you aren't trained nurses or doctors. They're just random people they found off the street." Support the show: feedthebadger.com/support Send us a message: feedthebadger.com/justthetip Join the community: badgernation.online