Episode 228: Discipling Someone Who Wrestles with Gender | Kat LaPrairie

Suffering, eh? Sounds … super … fun.  Ya know, the older we get, the more we realize just how important our theology of suffering is when we are … well, suffering. As Kelly Kapic said in today’s episode, “You don’t realize how flimsy your theology of suffering is until you use it as a resource to live on.”  For example, if we think suffering should be escaped, *when* we suffer we will try to outrun it. (Which is hard to do if we are enduring physical pain.) If we think suffering should be embraced, *when* we suffer we might try to make it our identity. Let’s get a proper theology of suffering with someone who isn’t just a theologian of suffering but someone who knows it personally: Author Kelly Kapic. Together, we talk about: How can we suffer with high hope and high lament? How can we deal with our chronic pain of the soul or body? What is up with the book of Job? Is God a bully or kind? How can we pivot our hearts to suffer well now or in the future?   | Highlights | “You don’t realize how flimsy your theology of suffering is until you use it as a resource to live on. It’s like trying to exist on saltine crackers, and you think, ’No, I need some real nourishment here.’” —Kelly Kapic “How we respond to suffering really does betray a lot of our view of God.” —Kelly Kapic “The unsettling thing about Job is that God never answers Job’s questions. He doesn’t. The answer to Job’s question is that God shows up.” —Kelly Kapic | QOTW | Space or ocean? Which is better? | Next Steps | Find Kelly’s book here. Find Kelly’s articles on TGC here. Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here. Join the HIMH Pod FB group here. Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

When I [Laurie] met Kat, she was planning to marry her girlfriend and was considering transitioning to male. But God was already drawing Kat to Himself, and He tapped me on the shoulder to join the process. Hear the whole discipleship journey between us today on the podcast. | Highlights | “I would be doing absolutely nothing and I would feel this conviction … This fear of ‘Am I making the right choice? Am I rejecting The One?’” —Kat LaPrairie “This is going to be difficult, it is not solved, my life is still a mess, but this is the first choice in a series of choices that is going to make a difference.” —Kat LaPrairie “Now, when I notice that temptation for a relationship or when gender dysphoria really ramps up, I know that it is signifying something deeper going on inside of me. “ —Kat LaPrairie | QOTW |  Mullets: Yes or no? ;) | Next Step Resources | Listen to Kat’s first conversation with us Find Kat on IG here. Find Journey Well here. Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here. Join the HIMH Pod FB group here. Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

A new Barna study says 54% of Christians watch p*rnography. This number is only 7 percentage points behind the percent of all U.S. adults who consume it (61%). We need help. How can we get the help we need for our addictions at a soul-deep level? Author and therapist Sam Jolman is here to assist. Together, we discuss: —Is male sexuality just extra broken or what?  —How can we (as men and women) process our first encounter with p*rnography? —How can we as parents help ready our kids for a porn-pervasive world? —What can we do if we are caught in an addiction cycle? Is there anything to do other than accountability programs? | Highlights |  “Evil hates your sexuality. Evil hates the sexuality of your children. It does not want you to be alive and well in your sexuality; nor does it want that for your children, because our sexuality mirrors so much of our hearts as lovers and worshippers of God.” —Sam Jolman “Most men’s story of being introduced to pornography is a story of harm.” —Sam Jolman “[Pornography introduction to kids is a story of harm because…] you have no capacity to know what is coming… You have no capacity to consent. You’re a kid! Even if you ‘knew’ what it was, you really have no idea what this pornography world is. When somebody introduces it to you, often there is an invitation—sometimes out of that person’s arousal or desire to sexualize you… But to suddenly have such material, and to have your body awakened to something but without a category for what you are experiencing—that is a violation.” —Sam Jolman “Even in our worst sin we cannot eradicate the glory of God in us.” —Sam Jolman |Next Step Resources| Good pictures and bad pictures: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Pictures-Bad-Porn-Proofing-Todays/dp/0997318732 Sam’s book: https://www.samjolman.com/the-sex-talk-you-never-got-book/#buynow Sam’s site:https://www.samjolman.com/ Sam’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/samjolman/?hl=en Connect to O’Neill Asset Management: https://www.oneillassetmanagement.com Join the HIMH Pod FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active): https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/

Many of us grew up in the church hearing that weakness was a good thing: In our weakness, God is strong through us. If that’s true, why does weakness feel so terrible? Today, we talk with author, podcaster, and pastor, Eric Schumacher about “the good gift of weakness,” why many of us don’t like it, and why it is the best place to thrive as a human being. We also discuss: —How did Eric’s “failing at ministry” help him to recover his life? —Is weakness found in creation and in the new heavens and new earth, not just in the sinful world? —What if we are tired of being weak? | Highlights |  “Is there a place in the Kingdom for someone as weak as me?” “This is the good news for the Christian: Jesus became weaker than we will ever be because He was dead under God’s curse, and we will never be that weak because He was.” “Paul knew Jesus was the kind of man who would invite his disciples to see him trembling and sorrowful to the point of death in the garden of Gethsemane. Part of imitating that Savior is putting your own weakness on display for all to see.” | Next Step Resources |  Eric’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Gift-Weakness-Strength-Redemption/dp/0736988661 Eric’s site: https://emschumacher.com/about-eric/ Eric’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/emschumacher Connect to O’Neill Asset Management: https://www.oneillassetmanagement.com Join the HIMH Pod FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active):https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/

Something we so appreciate about Dr. Preston Sprinkle is he doesn’t tell us what to think, he encourages us to think about what we are thinking about. When it comes to engaging politics, we need people to help us think about politics biblically first. If you’re like us, you’re all done with politics…yesterday.  And yet, we cannot escape it. Is there a way to engage it without losing our minds (and faith)? Theologian, author, podcaster, and friend of the podcast, Preston Sprinkle, is just the expert we need to help us think about politics biblically. We discuss: How can we vote with a Kingdom of God mindset? What is the Kingdom of God anyway? You talk about “exiles” and “Babylon,” and I hear that language in the Bible, but how does that apply today? If we are primarily citizens of the Kingdom of God, does that mean we should never take an active role in political things? | Highlights | “The day after the election, your kingdom mission is exactly the same, and the power you have to fulfill that kingdom mission is exactly the same. The values you are to embody are exactly the same.” “Our primary citizenship is as a member of Christ’s global, multiethnic kingdom that has been dispersed among the nations.” “Our allegiance to King Jesus should throw a heavy shadow on all the things that these earthly kingdoms are doing.”  | QOTW | What game are you secretly good at? (You guys make us laugh!) | Next Step Resources | Read Preston’s ‘Exiles’ book here Read the Bible he edited here  Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here  Join the HIMH Pod FB group here Follow Laurie on IG here (where she is the most active)

If you have ever struggled to process your story (and who hasn’t??), this episode is for you. Author, teacher, and child-of-a-one-time angry father, Lisa Jo Baker, takes us by the hand and guides us to take the tiniest look back so we can move forward into healing. | Main Themes | Why do we avoid going back into our stories? Why do we need to? (Do we need to?) How can you write a book about the most painful places in our lives? What if those we love don’t want to or can’t reconcile? | Highlights |  “A thought dropped into my head, ‘You need to speak about what it was like to be the child of an angry parent.’”  “By the time I finished writing the chapter, I would feel this profound sense of, ‘Oh, He did it again!’ Jesus went back, picked apart these terrible places in my life, and brought healing.” “If you take anything from my story, it’s this: it wasn’t me, I didn’t do it. It wasn’t my dad. He didn’t do it. It was Jesus and his grace and mercy he orchestrated the entire thing simply because I was willing to look.” | About the Guest | With a BA in English/prelaw from Gordon College and a JD from the University of Notre Dame Law School, Lisa-Jo has lived and worked on three continents in the human rights field and subsequently spent nearly a decade leading the online community of women called (in)courage as their editor in chief and community manager. She’s the co-host of the Out of the Ordinary podcast. Originally from South Africa, Lisa-Jo now lives just outside Washington, D.C., where she met and fell in love with her husband in the summer of ’96. Their story together spans decades, languages, countries, books, three very opinionated children, and one dog, and is written in Lisa-Jo’s latest book, It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping. | Next Steps | Lisa’s book Her IG Her site Thanks to O’Neill Asset Management! Join the HIMH Podcast FB Page!  

If you’re a parent or mentor of young kids right now like we are, I am pretty sure you could marinate in fear every day of the week.  Add the fact that it is up to us parents and mentors to teach these kids facts and wisdom about sexuality and body safety, and you can just find us in a panic attack on the floor every-other day of the week. But what if we didn’t have to? What if we could learn how to wisely lead them in the midst of this wild world? Today, psychologist and author Julia Sadusky helps us to do just that. Together we discuss: • Why is avoiding conversations about bodies and sex lead to a lack of safety for our kids? • What is the difference between sharing sexualized content with kids and talking about sexuality with kids? • How do we non-anxiously but wisely engage body-exploration that kids naturally do? • What are family rules and why might I consider having them?  • What if we already feel like we failed as parents and mentors of young kids? How can we recover missed years? | Highlights | “What is beautiful about parenthood is you get to be this imperfect representation to the world and to your kids of what we do when we fall short of the glory of God.” —Julia Sadusky “You will either be the first to have the sexuality conversations or the last.” —Julia Sadusky “What we know from know from research on childhood sexual abuse that the number one thing that protects children and makes it less likely for them to experience sexual abuse in childhood is for them to know the accurate terminology of their private parts. When I learned that it blew my mind and it made me think to myself: If we could get all Christians on the same page that we are going to do this, sexual abuse in childhood in our generations can go down markedly.” —Julia Sadusky “Young people are naturally curious about everything… We want to scaffold and support that learning. But without guidance from the primary people in their corner, young people will go elsewhere.” —Julia Sadusky | QOTW | Are you an ice or no-ice person? And what shape does it need to take? (Square, round, or perhaps Death Star shaped??) | Do the Next Thing | Julia’s book, Start Talking to Your Kids About Sex  Julia’s IG: instagram.com/drjuliasadusky Julia’s site: juliasadusky.com Join the HIMH FB group here Follow Laurie (where she is talking about things like this often) here: instagram.com/laurie_krieg Email us your questions here Watch the episode here 

It’s that time again: Let’s take your questions and try to respond with wisdom! Here are the ones we respond to today! How do you know when or if you need to move on from a therapist? How can we walk with people experiencing unwanted sexual desires? How do I recover my soul from burnout? How do I talk with my kids about a family member who is transitioning? How do I know if a temptation is spiritual attack or fruit from my sinful nature? | Highlights | “Our kids do not have to be fed rage and othering in order to cultivate a heart that is both passionate for truth and grieves over sin.” —Laurie Krieg “If you are working harder than those you are caring for—that is a recipe for burnout.” —Matt Krieg “People who transition from male to female are never going to actually be a woman. But can we know that, and maybe even say that, but can we speak it from a heart that is tender and compassionate while empathetically thinking, ‘Man, doesn’t it stink that idols don’t work?’”—Laurie Krieg | Do the Next Thing | We mention Journey Well here or here We talk about Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted here Join the HIMH FB group here Follow Laurie (where she is talking about things like this often) here Email us your questions or to find out more about sponsorship here Watch the episode here 

Today, we conclude our two-part series looking at strategies to intentionally and evangelistically approach Pride Month.  To continue the conversation, we talk with Elizabeth Delgado Black who is an evangelist and the co-founder and president of Kaleidoscope. Together, we talk about practical ways to love LGBTQ people like Jesus as well as:  Can we talk a little bit about language? Why use LGBTQ language at all? How do LGBTQ people in New York City seem to view Christians generally? Why? How does Elizabeth’s nonprofit seek to love LGBTQ people into the Kingdom of God? What contextual ways does she care for her community? What fruit is she seeing from what she and her team do? | Highlights | “You don't have to invent something on your own. Some of the most powerful work that we do is with other organizations because they do not expect that a Christian is going to want anything to do with them.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black “I’m doing missional work, but people are not a mission.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black “How can we share the good news of Christ if we see certain people as completely other and unworthy? Then whatever we share is no longer good news.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black   | QOTW | What is your most *you* music? (Ya’ll are too funny…)   | Do the Next Thing | Find out about Kaleidoscope here Follow them on IG here Join the HIMH FB group here Find Laurie and Matt on IG here Email us here Watch the video here

Some Christians write off June’s Pride festivals as Sodom and Gomorrah. They don’t think anyone there could possibly want God. Are we so sure about that? At least two ministries in the U.S. are regularly going to Pride festivals in their areas, and they are seeing people come to know Jesus because of their presence, preaching, and practical love of neighbor. This week, we interview a street evangelist who has been going to Grand Rapids, Michigan’s Pride Festival for the last five years. We ask: Why does he go? What heart does he have when he goes? What pushback does he receive? What fruit does he see from his going? What can we learn from his work? You’re not going to want to miss these episodes. | Highlights | “We are either open and affirming or we are openly condemning, but in the middle ground is the gospel.” —Stephen Nylen “They will not know if I do not go. So I have to go. But if you’re going to preach and your feet aren’t beautiful (Westboro Baptist, legalists, moralists, open and affirming, or openly condemning) then you’re not preaching the right gospel.” —Stephen Nylen “If you’re a firefighter and you see a fire, then your calling is to go. And so I go.” —Stephen Nylen | QOTW | What do you always need instructions for? (Making rice, Mac and cheese, or using a lawnmower?)   | Do the Next Thing | Find everything about Stephen’s work here Or on his FB here Or here His minidoc on the ministry here And his two-minute gospel presentation here Join the HIMH FB group here Follow Laurie on IG here Email us with thoughts or questions at [email protected] Watch the episode here