307. In-law Relationships: Holding Boundaries & Having the Tough Conversations with Dr. Tracy D

The subject of in-laws is one that hits home for many of us—and today’s conversation with Dr. Tracy D goes deep. One of our most downloaded episodes ever featured her, and we knew we had to bring her back to talk about what’s changed, what hasn’t, and how to navigate these tricky family patterns in new seasons of life.You didn’t just marry your partner—you married into their family’s patterns. Where’s the line between accepting those patterns and creating healthy boundaries? Dr. Tracy helps us understand the balance between acceptance and self-protection, reminding us that you are not the bad one for noticing the pattern.If you’ve ever felt frustrated, guilty, or misunderstood in your in-law relationships, this episode will leave you feeling seen, grounded, and hopeful about what’s possible.Connect with Dr. Tracy D:Book: You, Your Husband, and His Mother (coming soon!): https://www.drtracyd.com/Instagram: @drtracydListen to past HERself episodes with Dr. Tracy:Episode 16: HERself Expert: Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish on Managing Anxiety in a Pandemic: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/16-herself-expert-psychologist-dr-tracy-dalgleish-on-managing-anxiety-in-a-pandemicEpisode 17: HERself Expert: Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - Psychologist and Couples Therapist on How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy During Social Distancing: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/17-herself-expert-dr-tracy-dalgleish-psychologist-and-couples-therapist-on-how-to-keep-your-relationship-healthy-during-social-distancingEpisode 93: HERself Expert: Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 1: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/93-herself-expert-tracy-dalgleish-on-all-things-in-laws-part-1Episode 94: HERself Expert: Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 2: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/94-herself-expert-tracy-dalgleish-on-all-things-in-laws-part-2Episode 198: Dr. Tracy D on Reconnecting with Your Partner: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/listen/tracydreconnectingwithyourpartnerLINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest locationCORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast

Aging has been on our minds a lot lately. At 39, we’re standing on the edge of a new decade, and with that, we continue to have more  conversations around perimenopause, energy levels, and taking care of our bodies. In this episode, we’re opening up about what aging looks and feels like for us right now—the struggles, the science, accepting it, and the ways we’re finding strength in this next chapter.Abby shares her personal journey with hormone replacement therapy (HRT) after her doctor recommended it to help with fatigue, weight fluctuations, and low energy despite healthy habits. She explains what the process has been like, why she finally took the leap, and how HRT has impacted her day-to-day life. We also talk about why perimenopause isn’t linear and how that affects women differently—including why pregnancies are still common in your early 40s.If you’re in a similar phase of life, we bring you really tangible ideas and where to start. . From magnesium and supplements to lifting weights and prioritizing sleep, we dive into the small but powerful habits that can set us up for long-term success. Amy shares why she credits weightlifting for her energy at age 39, how her college years shaped her approach to fitness, and why she plans to keep lifting into her 80s. We also touch on NAD+ injections, the role of fiber in our diets, and why working out isn’t about chasing a certain look—it’s about creating a body that can carry us into our future.As women, it’s easy to fall into comparison traps—whether it’s against the version of ourselves 20 years ago or the highlight reel of another woman’s life. But aging has taught us to focus less on the scale and more on how we feel. Our habits are catching up with us now more than ever, and that’s not a bad thing—it’s a chance to make meaningful, lasting changes.At the heart of this episode is a reminder: aging is a blessing. It’s a privilege to grow older, to share life with the people we love, and to keep finding new ways to take care of ourselves. We hope this conversation leaves you inspired to embrace aging with curiosity, compassion, and the courage to take even one small step forward.Follow @dramyshah on Instagram The health and wellness products we swear by: Affiliate LinkLINKS AND RESOURCES:GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfVUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Parenting school-age kids comes with a unique set of challenges—from overflowing backpacks and sports schedules to snacks, lunches, uniforms, and the endless drop-offs and pick-ups. It’s a lot to manage, and the truth is: no one can do it all alone. We open up about what it looks like in our households to share the parenting load and how we’ve learned to find balance with our partners over the last 10 years.You’ll hear the different ways our families divide responsibilities—whether it’s one partner planning while the other executes, or one person taking a task from start to finish. Abby also shares how Colin’s work travel adds another layer to family dynamics, but the systems they’ve created together help keep things running smoothly.The conversation also dives into helicopter partnering, letting go of control, and trusting that even if your partner’s way looks different (or happens on a different timeline), the important thing is that the task gets done. We also lean on our community—asking for help when needed and offering support in return.This episode is a reminder that building independence in kids, sharing the load with your partner, and proactively communicating can make family life feel more balanced and joyful.If you’re navigating the busy school years and wondering how to better share the load at home, this episode will give you both perspective and practical takeaways.LINKS AND RESOURCES:COZY EARTH: 20% off with code HERSELF https://cozyearth.com/PATREON: Join our exclusive community where we drop a bonus episode every single week: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastJONES Dairy Farm: High quality, responsibility sourced meats you can feel confident feeding to your family. Check them out: https://www.jonesdairyfarm.com/Let’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Have you ever caught yourself sounding just like your parents? Today we reflect on the lessons—both spoken and unspoken—that our parents, coaches, and role models left with us, and how they’ve shaped the women and moms we are today.From confidence and community to money and independence, these life lessons are now the ones we’re passing down to our own kids. Amy shares how her mom’s approach to appearance built her confidence from the inside out, while Abby opens up about her mom’s influence around food, body image, and community involvement. Amy also remembers her dad’s encouragement to always be financially independent, and Abby gets vulnerable about what money represented in her childhood—a story she’s never shared before.We also chat briefly about the latest reality TV drama (yes, the new Bachelorette!) before diving back into what it really means to carry these lessons forward. Whether the wisdom came from parents, coaches, or mentors, it’s worth reflecting on the positive examples you had growing up and how you’re creating that same legacy for your own children today.Tune in and reflect with us—you’ll be reminded that the work you’re doing as a mom matters, in ways your children will carry for life.LINKS AND RESOURCES:CORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herselfGOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfPATREON: Join our exclusive community where we drop a bonus episode every single week: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastLet’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Marriage is a constant journey of learning, growth, and reminding ourselves of the basics—especially during stressful seasons. In this week’s episode, we’re taking you behind the scenes of our own marriages to share the top three lessons we’ve each learned with our spouses over the years.We kick things off with a little chit chat (thanks to Colin for the idea!) about what we’ve been reading and watching lately before diving into the heart of the episode: the relationship lessons that continue to shape our marriages.Here’s what you’ll hear in today’s episode:Amy’s #1: Why standing by your core values matters, even when it feels uncomfortable—especially when it comes to finances.Abby’s #1: The power of speaking up when it matters most (without nitpicking everything).Amy’s #2: Shifting your perspective from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem.”Abby’s #2: Embracing the reality that we all change over time—and learning to love your spouse as they grow.Amy’s #3: Letting your partner positively influence you (this one gets spicy!).Abby’s #3: Why having dreams together matters—and how to let your spouse in on yours.If you’ve been craving real, honest conversations about what makes marriage work, this episode will give you tangible reminders, relatable stories, and encouragement to keep building a strong foundation with your partner.Let us know what resonates most with you! Share your biggest takeaway from this episode over on Instagram @herselfpodcast—we love hearing from you.LINKS AND RESOURCES:LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Conflict is a natural part of every relationship—whether it’s in marriage, friendship, family, or work. In this week’s episode, we’re diving into the 5 different conflict styles (the accommodator, the avoider, the compromiser, the competitor, and the collaborator) and exploring how they show up in our lives.We share personal stories and examples of how conflict plays out differently in our marriages versus our friendships. Abby opens up about realizing her conflict style might not be what she originally thought after reflecting with her husband, Colin, who leans more toward the “need to be right” style. Amy talks about how she used to lean heavily on avoidance but, through therapy, has been growing into a more collaborative approach.Inside this episode, you’ll learn:What the 5 conflict styles are and how they show up in relationships.Why saying “we never fight” might actually mean you’re not speaking up for yourself.Why our conflict styles can look different in marriage vs. friendships.How to decide which relationships are worth working through conflict for.Remember: the goal isn’t to avoid conflict altogether, but to understand how you (and those around you) approach it so you can move toward healthier resolutions.Read the article on the 5 conflict styles here.LINKS AND RESOURCES:GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfFORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest locationCORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Since it’s a holiday here in the U.S., we’re bringing back one of our most downloaded and loved episodes of all time—with none other than the incredible Shrink Chicks, Emmalee and Jennifer, co-founders of The Therapy Group.These two women are experts in relationships, and in this conversation, we dig deep into what happens after kids enter the picture. From navigating conflict and working through small disagreements to building healthier communication patterns, this episode is packed with strategies you can use at every stage of your relationship.To be honest, it felt like we were sitting in on our very own couples therapy session—except thousands of you were right there with us, nodding along to the truths being shared.What you’ll learn in this episode:How to navigate conflict in a way that strengthens your relationship.Tools to move through disagreements without disconnecting.Why communication patterns matter more than winning an argument.The importance of seeking support instead of trying to “fix it all” on your own.Important note: The guidance shared in this episode is meant for those in safe, healthy relationships. If abuse is present, these tools won’t apply, and we encourage you to seek professional resources and support.One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation is that you don’t need to figure out your relationship struggles alone. Resources, therapy, and the right tools can transform your partnership—and your life.We’d love to hear your biggest “aha” moments after listening. Share your takeaways with us on Instagram and tag @shrinkchicks and @herselfpodcast so we can connect with you.LINKS AND RESOURCES:VUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

As moms, we know every season brings new challenges, and summer can be one of the hardest to navigate. In this week’s episode, we share an honest summer recap—the wins, the struggles, and the lessons we’re carrying into fall and beyond.From childcare challenges to balancing marriage and motherhood, we open up about the good, the bad, and the messy parts of parenting during the summer months.Childcare struggles & solutions: Amy shares what she learned when their nanny left for college in August and how she’s planning ahead with summer camps for next year. Abby talks about what worked (parent swaps) and what will have to change as Owen transitions out of daycare.Parenting & relationships: Many parents find themselves burnt out by the end of summer, especially when one parent carries more of the load. Amy and Abby talk about how this impacts relationships—and why it’s important to ask for help before you’re drowning.Practical takeaways: From childcare swaps, community programs, and after-school care, to making small changes at home, Amy and Abby share the strategies that are helping their families run more smoothly.Personal edits: Amy admits she’s working on bringing more positivity to family check-in meetings, while Abby is finding balance between her love of open weekends and Colin’s need for structure.This conversation is a reminder for every parent: check in with yourself often. Needs change, kids grow, relationships evolve, and your routines should too. Don’t stay stuck—start making small edits now to set yourself up for a smoother season ahead.We also want to take a moment to celebrate a very special milestone today; this is our 300th episode! We couldn’t be here without the support of each and every one of you. Thank you for tuning in, listening week after week, and sharing the episodes that resonate the most with you. Here’s to 300 more!LINKS AND RESOURCES:BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfGOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfCORNBREAD HEMP: 30% off with code HERSELF cornbreadhemp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

Happiness. For some, the word sparks joy. For others, it feels complicated. In this episode, we’re unpacking what happiness truly means — and why our own perspectives on the word itself are surprisingly different.Inspired by research from a UC Berkeley professor who studies happiness, we explore three key factors proven to boost your well-being:Human connection — why in-person connection is essential for joy.Expressing gratitude — how appreciation shifts your mindset.Volunteering — the surprising way giving back benefits you, too.We also share personal stories and simple practices we use to spark happiness in our own lives — even on hard days.If you’ve ever wondered why happiness can feel so elusive or how to cultivate more of it, this conversation is a heartfelt mix of science, personal reflection, and actionable tips you can try today.LINKS AND RESOURCES:FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest locationLMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

In this episode, we're answering your questions—everything from serious parenting dilemmas to fun, rapid-fire get-to-know-you questions. We kick things off by digging into thoughtful, vulnerable topics like:How to help kids develop a tolerance for discomfort.What to do when someone you care about is in a toxic relationship.How to respond when family members ignore birthday invitations.Parenting children with developmental delays.When to let go of a long-term friendship.How to make meaningful friendships that aren't just “mom friends”.Later in the episode, we switch gears and get into the lighter stuff, answering questions like:Who is more hygienic?Who needs more sleep?Who is more of a homebody?Who is pickier about food?Who takes longer to get ready?What do we admire most about each other as parents?Who is more confrontational?Who has the wilder spending habits?Spoiler alert: One question made us both emotional—so be sure to listen all the way through!Whether you're navigating parenting, family drama, or just want to get to know us better, this episode has a little something for everyone. If you loved this Q&A format, let us know—we'd love to make this a recurring thing!LINKS AND RESOURCES:GOODR: Free Shipping with code HERSELF: https://goodr.com/herselfVUORI: 20% off first purchase at: http://vuoriclothing.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase:  drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.