“We Just Kept Going” - Two Sisters, Twenty Years After Their Mom Was Killed

Jessie was 21. Molly was 11. Two days after their joint birthdays, their mom, Jill, was murdered by Molly’s father. In the hours, days, and years that followed, there was little room for grief. Jessie and Molly were expected to keep going — and they did. But that forward momentum came at a cost.  It’s been nearly 20 years, and only recently have Jessie and Molly begun to revisit what happened and what it’s meant to live with unspoken grief and unacknowledged trauma. As part of that process, they discovered a manila envelope packed away in storage - inside were eight children’s book manuscripts written by their mom in the 1980s. Finding those stories sparked a new chapter of connection with their mom and motivated them to work towards getting them illustrated and published.   Note: This conversation includes descriptions of domestic violence, stalking, violent death, and suicide. If you or someone you know needs support, see the list of resources below.  In this conversation, Jessie and Molly talk about: What their mom was like and what she meant to each of them Their vastly different experiences of the day she was killed  What stood in the way of them naming what they lived through as abuse and trauma  How grief became something they held privately, even from each other  The impact of finally receiving permission to feel and grieve  Their efforts to get their mom’s children’s stories published  Follow along and support their project: Barty Books on Instagram GoFundMe: Everyone Has A Story To Tell.  Dougy Center: https://www.dougy.org National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - 988

How do you keep your heart open to love after it's been broken apart by grief? Danielle LaRock was just 19 when her father died of a heart attack. In 2022, her partner Ian died suddenly. Then, in 2024, her beloved dog Blue died, and with Blue went many shared memories of time spent with Ian. The experience of loving and being loved by Ian opened up places in Danielle's heart that had closed down after her father's death. That openness has stayed with her, even as she grieves for both Ian and Blue. That ongoing love and connection have shaped Danielle's grief and the ways she tries to support others who are also grieving.  We discuss: How Danielle coped - and didn't - as a college student after her dad's death The isolation of being surrounded by peers who hadn't experienced the death of a parent Meeting Ian as children and reconnecting as adults How Ian's own experience with the death of his dad helped him understand and support her grief Being present for Ian's medical crisis and emergency brain surgery  The trauma of witnessing his death and being the person who had to tell his friends and family How experiencing deep love with Ian changed her approach to all relationships  Learning to celebrate the milestones of others while grieving the loss of the ones she would have shared with Ian The spiritual awakening Danielle experienced after Ian's death Discovering traditional therapy didn't work for her The value of online support groups, specifically for young widows & widowers Exploring ways to support others in their grief Guest Bio  Danielle LaRock is the co-host of the popular podcast National Park After Dark, which explores dark history and tragedy in outdoor spaces. A former veterinary technician from New England, Danielle has become a compassionate voice in the grief community, using her own experiences with loss to help others navigate their journeys.  Connect with Danielle on IG. 

In this deeply personal episode, Mark Chesnut returns to Grief Out Loud to share his experience of losing his sister Glynn to ovarian cancer. Glynn chose medical aid in dying after nearly four years of treatment, giving Mark and his family the unusual experience of knowing when death would occur. This conversation explores the complexity of "scheduled death," the challenges of finding appropriate language to discuss medical aid in dying, and how knowing the date changed their family's grieving process. Mark Chesnut is a journalist, editor, public speaker, and the author of: Prepare for Departure.  Mark previously appeared on Grief Out Loud in October 2022, discussing caring for his mother at the end of her life. Mark lives in New York City with his husband Angel and recently wrote an article about his sister's experience with medical aid in dying.  This episode is the second in our 2025 three-part series highlighting the voices of communities who have historically been underrepresented in the grief world. The series is part of an ongoing collaboration between Dougy Center and The New York Life Foundation. We are deeply grateful for New York Life Foundation's tireless support and advocacy for children and teens who are grieving. Grief Out Loud is a production of Dougy Center, the National Grief Center for Children and Families in Portland, Oregon.