249: Quickie - Why Your Spouse Avoids Affection and What to Do About It

 Have you ever wondered why your spouse dodges your attempts at affection or how quickly he or she shuts down any of your affection attempts? Or how a simple kiss gets treated like you're asking for something much bigger? Well, in this episode I'm going to explain exactly why one partner who craves affection has a partner that avoids it. And by the end, you'll know this simple mindset shift that can transform your relationship from a frustrating game of chase into one of genuine connection and intimacy.  A quick note:  I want to try something a little different this summer. We are still publishing episodes every Friday, but once in a while I might drop an extra episode in the middle of the week and sometimes they will be a little shorter. (We'll call them quickie episodes! How fitting, right?!) They're intended to be short, easy, and fun to listen to and teach a principle that you can apply right away in your own intimate relationship to make it better. And this episode you're listening to is one of our quickie episodes. I hope you enjoy it! Check out Intimately Us or the Get Your Marriage On Program to help transform your relationship!

Male sexuality is just as complex and rich as female sexuality. I was recently invited to talk about what I wish women knew and understood about male sexuality on Tanya Hale's podcast, she's given me permission to share that with you here on my podcast. So on this episode, we debunk a lot myths we have around understanding male sexuality and paint a more optimistic and uplifting view of what male sexuality is and the blessing it can be to a marriage. We explore how men express love through sex, why emotional connection and sexual desire are so intertwined for them, and how reframing men's sexuality can help us show up more equally in intimate relationships (Don't miss out on part 2 where  we talk about how sometimes validation drives sexual desire, obligation sex, penis vulnerability, and what it means to create a truly equal and safe sexual space in marriage. ) Next steps . . .  Check out the Intimately Us app , our Free Masterclass, or our FREE facebook group.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Welcome to Part 2 of my conversation with Tanya Hale!  We talk about the pressure men feel around performance, why their penis can be such a vulnerable topic, and how couples can build a sexual relationship that's validating fun and deeply connecting, especially as bodies and marriages evolve over time.  (If you missed part 1, we explored how men express love through sex, why emotional connection and sexual desire are so intertwined for them, and how reframing men's sexuality can help us show up more equally in intimate relationships.) Next steps . . .  Check out the Intimately Us app , our Free Masterclass, or our FREE facebook group.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

Welcome to part two of my conversation with Dr. Steven Snyder! In part one, we explored why sex is more than just physical--it's deeply emotional, even regressive (meaning you kind of get a little dumber and a lot happier when you're aroused). And we discuss why the best sex often begins with an awareness and emotional presence. In part two, we'll be diving back into this conversation. You'll get to hear about how to put all these pieces in real life, specifically about his two-step framework and, simmering, which we'll talk about. You'll hear stories from couples, who have put these actions into practice and we'll unpack how to deal with desire discrepancies in your marriage. Lastly, we'll figure out how to break free from performance pressure and how to make love worth having in what Dr. Steven Snyder calls lazy sex or simmering.  And of course, don't forget to check out Part 1! *** If you'd like some more support in your marriage, and would like some coaching from our  coaches, check out our program. And don't forget about our FREE facebook group. Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

When it comes to sexual arousal, many of us reach for that excited, giddy, sometimes silly, sometimes serious, joyful, fulfilling feelings in the company of someone else that matters so much to us. And how do you create a marriage relationship where there's room for two people to have a voice? And how do you create a sexual relationship where both people are excited and happy to be a part of it? Today's guest is Dr. Steven Snyder. He is a sex therapist from New York City, and the author of the book Love Worth Making, which I highly enjoyed. And I feel priviledged to host him on this podcast. Here's what you'll learn in the episode: Why the sexual feelings we crave matter to you  A two-step approach to finding it easier to connect to sexual motivation What "lazy sex" is and how you could put it to action in your own life, especially if you're busy The importance of this concept called "simmering" to foster desire  The surprising difference between giving and taking pleasure Note that this is a part one, so don't miss out on part two (available now!)  *** If you'd like some more support in your marriage, and would like some coaching from our  coaches, check out our program. And don't forget about our FREE facebook group.   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Let's be honest. Sexual fantasy is a weird part of being human. In this episode with my guest and fellow Get Your Marriage On coach, Amy Langford, we tackle real listener questions about sexual fantasy in marriage — the kind that stir up curiosity, shame, arousal, and everything in between. What does it mean when you’re turned on by something that goes against your values? What if your spouse says they don’t have any fantasies? Is it wrong to mentally engage with fiction or past experiences during sex? We talk about meanings in fantasies, how you can talk about them, and how you can use them for the good of your marriage.  Whether you’re feeling confused, conflicted, or just curious, this episode is for you. *** If you'd like some more support in your marriage, and would like some coaching from mysef, Amy or our other coaches, check out our program. And don't forget about our FREE facebook group.

 One pattern I've noticed about couples with great sex lives over the years is that they make time to be emotionally connected and make room for romance and fun in their marriage. A date night is a great way to do that and to make it easy, I've brought on a guest from The Dating Divas. This website has tons of the ideas for married couples to keep dating in their marriages, and today we're talking about seven sexy ideas for date nights for the summer. (And we even have a cheat sheet for you to access all the dates we talk about in this episode!) *** We hope you're enjoying the International Lovemaking Day Challenge on the Intimately Us app! You have until June 9 to complete challenges and be eligible for prizes!  AND don't forget that you can enjoy the premium version of Intimately Us for FREE on June 9 and 10 in honor of Intimately Us's birthday!

Are there lessons we can learn from those that have gone through marital infidelity and use those lessons to improve our marriages today? I personally haven't dealt with this, but I know of many people that have just experienced the great heartache and the trouble that's come through infidelity in their marriage. So today I sat down with a longtime friend of mine and fellow marriage coach, Andrea Giles. She's experienced firsthand the heartbreaking reality of infidelity in marriage in her first marriage years ago. But she's come through it today able to help thousands of women work through the challenges associated with infidelity, as well as teaching many others how to affair-proof their marriages. Today you'll hear her emphasize the importance of prioritizing truth over peace, being honest with oneself, and creating a relationship where both partners can thrive fully. *** Don't miss out on our upcoming International Lovemaking Day challenge! Join this 9-day challenge to improve intimacy, connection, and fun in your marriage (and maybe even win a prize). All the details are in the Intimately Us app. The fun starts Sunday, June 1!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

One thing I've noticed about higher desire wives: they feel so lonely. They think they're the only wife on the plane that has the higher desire for sex. They often talk about how they hear about their other lady friends complain about how their husbands are always pursuing them and wanting to have sex with them and how they're tired of that. And the higher desire wives themselves think, "If only my husband pursued me that way....Is something wrong with me? Did I marry the wrong person?" My great friend J. Parker join us on the episode today. She is the author of the blog Hot, Holy, Humorous and a new book called The Higher Desire Wife.  She and I will be discussing these concerns and others expressed by a group of higher desire wives in our private Facebook group. So if you're the wife that's higher desire in your marriage, I just want to say you're very welcome here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. And of course, we're gonna do a deep dive on and hopefully answer some of the questions you might in this episode.  News and Resources We have a fun challenge coming up in June on the Intimately Us app--you won't want to miss the chance to earn prizes and get upgraded to the prime membership for free for a few days. So download the app to get ready today. Our men's and women's groups are in full swing and so are closed now, but feel free to get on the waiting list for our next cohort or check out the full program at getyourmarriageon.com/program/   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

 In this episode, I'm getting specific with actionable tactics while answering questions about the following: how to grow closer together emotionally overcoming body image concerns as it relates to sex. why women fake orgasms enhancing sexual intimacy with sex toys what the research says about pornography use and its impact on couples  exploring role play in relationships, and most importantly, keeping the erotic energy alive and long-term marriage relationships.  I was a guest on a podcast titled From Mrs to Ms with Andrea. This was a fun, unscripted conversation and with her permission, I'm sharing a portion of that conversation with you today. We need your input! In a few weeks, I'll be doing another question and answer episode specifically on the topic of sexual fantasies as it relates to Christian couples and long-term marriages. And if you have a question you'd like me to prepare for that episode, please reach out to me on Instagram via direct message or send me an email ([email protected]). I'd love to answer it on an upcoming episode. As always, if you and your spouse are looking to take intimacy in your marriage to the next level, check out my Get Your Marriage on Program, or contact me or my team about private coaching opportunities. I'm here for you to help you and your marriage grow stronger and closer and have a lot more fun together intimately. Lastly June 9th (that's 6/9 on a calendar) is a special day! It's the birthday of the Intimately Us app. It also International Love Making Day, and we want to celebrate with you with a fun challenge June 1-9! Download the Intimately Us app for all the info. We're going to have a challenge starting on June 1st, leading up to the ninth. And we have a lot of special prizes and lots of fun for you and your spouse.  Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.