Tenderoni Hotline #37: Why You Keep Wanting Closure from Your Ex + Why You Constantly Ask for Reassurance in Your Relationship

#388: Do you ever notice how the way you talk to yourself shapes everything - your mood, your decisions, and how you show up in the world? Join me today to learn how to notice your habitual self-talk, pause to observe it, and begin shifting it with intention. I guide you through understanding the power of your “second brain” and how old thought patterns shape your feelings and actions. We’ll also explore useful tools for pressing pause on our thoughts to consider whether they're helping us build the healthy, fulfilling life that we deserve. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/388 Check out my courses here:https://beatrizalbina.com/workwithme/ Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#387: Are you exhausted by the endless drive to be perfect? Do you find yourself constantly overthinking, overproducing, or feeling like nothing you do is ever enough? This week, I dive into the patterns behind perfectionism and why striving for flawless results can keep you stuck. We’ll explore how perfectionism shows up in your daily life - from over-preparing and overexplaining to people-pleasing and second-guessing yourself - and why these habits aren’t personal failures, but survival strategies your nervous system learned early on. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/387 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #38: What if chronic pain, anxiety, burnout, and people pleasing all stem from the same underlying pattern?In this episode, I sit down with bestselling author, psychotherapist, and mind-body medicine expert Nicole Sachs to explore the hidden connection between trauma, the nervous system, and what I call emotional outsourcing. Emotional outsourcing is the habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth instead of cultivating those things within.Together, we unpack why so many of us learned to disconnect from ourselves in order to stay connected to others, how those survival strategies become wired into the nervous system, and why healing is about far more than managing symptoms.We also explore how people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent patterns contribute to chronic stress, why boundaries can feel so threatening, and how small, intentional shifts can help you rebuild self-trust.Whether you're living with chronic symptoms, struggling to set boundaries, or simply longing to feel more at home in yourself, this conversation offers a compassionate and science-informed perspective on what healing can look like.If this episode resonated with you, be sure to follow the podcast and share it with someone who might need this conversation.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Learn more about Nicole Sachs: https://www.yourbreakawake.com

#386: Do you ever find yourself giving to others while quietly wondering if your own needs are being met? Are you unsure how to identify what you truly want versus what you think you should want? In this episode, I explore the often overlooked patterns that make it hard to distinguish your genuine wants and needs from the expectations of those around you. By the end of this episode, you’ll understand how to notice the difference between your authentic needs and habitual responses, reclaim your sense of agency, and start making choices that honor both your values and your well-being. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/386 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#385: Do you feel like your confidence vanished when the structure, role, or life you relied on disappeared? Have you ever wondered why you feel shaky, uncertain, or like a stranger to yourself after major life transitions? This week, I explore what happens to our confidence after a rupture and how to rebuild it in a way that is truly yours. I dive into the difference between borrowed confidence and internal confidence, and why relying on roles, approval, or external validation sets you up for wobble when life inevitably changes. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/385 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #37: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust.In today’s episode, we’re diving into two deeply relatable questions that so many of us carry quietly. First, what’s really going on when you can’t stop thinking about your ex and keep reaching for “closure,” even though you know they won’t give you what you need? We’ll explore why this craving is less about them and more about your nervous system’s longing for completion, and how to create that sense of closure from within.Then we turn toward the ache of constantly seeking reassurance, even in a loving, safe relationship. If you find yourself asking “Are we okay?” again and again, this part is for you. We’ll unpack the roots of that pattern and talk about how to gently retrain your nervous system to trust safety, love, and steadiness without outsourcing your emotional security.You’ll walk away with nervous system-informed tools, a whole lot of compassion, and a deeper understanding of why your brain and body respond the way they do. Because you’re not broken. You’re healing.So settle in, grab your cozy beverage of choice, and let’s get into it.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#384: Do you ever feel like your nervous system is on autopilot, constantly stuck in survival mode, and that a quick "reset" could somehow erase all your stress and trauma? Tune in this week as I unpack why there is no magic button to instantly reset your nervous system, and why chasing one might actually make things worse. We dive into what your nervous system is really doing when it reacts to stress, trauma, or emotional challenges, and why these responses aren’t malfunctions but intelligent, survival-driven adaptations.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/384 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#383: Ever feel like the roles in your life - partner, parent, friend, employee - are colliding in ways that leave you exhausted and unsure of who you are supposed to be? In this episode, I’m unpacking the subtle and pervasive experience of role confusion and how it can sneak into your life without you even realizing it. We explore how taking on others’ expectations, trying to manage everyone’s emotions, and overextending yourself creates a constant state of overwhelm. This isn’t just about being busy. It’s a misalignment between what your nervous system is actually capable of handling and the roles you feel you must perform. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/383 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #36: A listener recently wrote in with a request: please stop calling your audience "my love/my beauty."In this episode, I respond to that message and explore the deeper questions underneath it. Why do terms of endearment feel comforting to some people and uncomfortable to others? What happens when trauma teaches us that closeness, care, or tenderness are things to be wary of? And at what point does healing ask us to move beyond avoiding discomfort and begin building safety from within?We dive into the relationship between nervous system regulation, emotional outsourcing, trauma recovery, and self-trust. I also share why calling people "my love" is not a branding decision or a marketing strategy, but an authentic expression of who I am, my culture, and the kind of world I want to help create.If you've ever struggled to receive kindness, felt suspicious of tenderness, or found yourself looking outside yourself for safety, worth, or belonging, this episode offers a compassionate invitation to get curious about those patterns.Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMy 12-week programs include live teaching, guided somatic practices, journaling workbooks, and a private podcast where I answer your questions directly. Learn more at: beatrizalbina.com/courses Mentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety

#382: Do you find yourself stuck in the same emotional loops, beating yourself up when things don’t go as planned, or folding around boundaries because the perfectionist story in your mind says you should? This week, we’re exploring how real self-compassion helps you stay with yourself in uncomfortable moments without spiraling, shutting down, or reverting to old habits. I also share how dead-end thinking keeps us looping in guilt, shame, and self-abandonment, and the real mechanics of staying present with your feelings, even when life doesn’t go the way you expect. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/382 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety