The Science of Holding Space - Ep 673

Dr. Reedy discusses how rebellion is a response to a situation where the project of individuation is threatened or stalled. He explains that individuation is the answer to the soul’s longing for itself. He invites listeners to consider disregarding what they were taught about parenting, children and even this broadcast. He explained the attachment requires that we accept the premise that “our children are not our children.” (Gibran)

Dr. Reedy talks about what it means to hold space for another, what gets in the way of doing so and how this impacts the development of a child or the client in therapy. He explains that seeing someone is the key to mental health and resiliency and that the foundation of our ability to do that is in how we have managed to heal our own narcissistic wounding (the wounding of not being seen and accepted as we are).

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on parenting and boundaries. He explains how compassion is born by our boundaries. He explains that children and partners will inevitably require us to face aspects of ourselves we have avoided. We will have to fail, come up short and own our limitations as we practice self-care and attempt to meet our loved ones with love and compassion.

Dr. Reedy defines and discusses what makes for emotional safety. He talks about how emotional safety heals us and how repeated exposure to an emotional safe person changes our nervous system permanently. He explains that when the “big people” from our childhood were unable to sit with us and our feelings, we learned to hide and protect ourselves… and these efforts to protect ourselves become our mental illnesses.

Dr. Reedy discusses how skills and tools don’t make up the transformative substance of our therapy journey. He talks about a “transformation of consciousness” that occurs when we are deeply changed. He explains ego-death and how fear and love are the primary forces that drive our behavior. He explains that therapy is not about improvement but rather about self-compassion, increased consciousness, and rests on a foundation of sense of safety.

Dr. Reedy discusses how the identified patient is someone who expresses the issues with a system through mental health symptoms. He talks about projection and triangulation as ways for individuals in a system to scapegoat others and avoid the responsibility that each member of a system bears. He talks about how we can become a part of the solution as we learn to see mental health issues in the context of the greater system and make changes to disrupt patterns. He discourages the use of shame and guilt as barometers of our progress on our mental health journey.

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on attachment, parenting, and relationships. He talks about how a parent’s self-acceptance, which leads to self-awareness, is the key to your children's healthy development. He explains that self-compassion is the key to greater awareness and consciousness. And he talks about how boundaries and skills are really the evidence or signposts that reveal where we are on our journey. He emphatically points out that the goal in therapy is not to be so good we are beyond reproach, but rather the outcome of therapy is learning to love and see our "horrible, rotten, human, fallible, lovable, selves."

Dr. Reedy discusses what to do when you are the only one in your circle doing their therapy work. He talks about how therapy changes us and how we can get stuck in trying to change the people around us..

Conscious Parenting Workshop: A Teaser - Ep 665 by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy discusses his first book, The Journey of the Heroic Parent and how his work has evolved since then. He describes the goal of the book as one to help parents become their own expert by learning how to think differently about parenting. He emphatically invites parents to do their own work and to explore their own histories, their own psychology.