How Do We Know If Someone Is Really in Recovery? And How to Rebuild Trust?

How has purity culture in evangelical Christianity shaped views on lust, sex addiction, and shame and what needs to change? In this powerful conversation with Tabitha Westbrook we unpack how distorted teachings about lust and responsibility create division between men and women in the church. They discuss the deep harm these messages cause, the rising incidence of addictive behaviors, and the urgent need for the church to evolve. Key topics include: - Misconceptions about lust, sin, and personal responsibility - The impact of purity culture on men’s addiction and women’s shame - Signs of hopeful change, including important voices and research challenging the status quo - Why honest conversations about sexuality and trauma are vital for healing - Resources like the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit for providers and communities If you or someone you love is navigating recovery in a faith context, this episode offers compassionate insights and a call for growth and transformation. #PurityCulture #SexAddiction #EvangelicalChurch #ShameAndHealing #FaithAndRecovery #SexualIntegrity #TraumaHealing #AddictionRecovery

We will be exploring the language around binge/purge cycles, acting in versus acting out, and the idea of switching addictions or the “whack-a-mole” effect. The discussion digs into the difference between sobriety and recovery, why consistency matters, and what partners can look for when trying to determine if change is genuine. Have a question you’d like featured in a future mailbag episode? Send it to [email protected] If you find this episode helpful, remember to like, subscribe, and share. Doing so helps others discover these conversations and find the support they need. #BingePurgeAddiction #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #WhackAMoleAddiction #ActingInVsActingOut #DryDrunk #EmotionalRecovery #PartnerSupport #AddictionEducation #TraumaHealing #CompulsiveBehaviors

They haven’t acted out in a while but is it recovery… or just the purge phase? In this episode, Dan Drake Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein take on a powerful listener's question about the binge-purge subtype of sex addiction. When someone stops their acting out behavior for long stretches of time, it can look like sobriety but is it actually recovery, or just a temporary pause in the addiction cycle? The discussion explores what binge-purge really means (and how it's different from recovery, sobriety, or even cross-addiction), how to identify signs of “acting in” behaviors like emotional shutdown or passive-aggressiveness, and why some partners still feel unsafe even when no sexual acting out is occurring. They also discuss the “whack-a-mole” pattern of addiction and how to spot deeper patterns of compulsive coping, even when sex is off the table. #BingePurgeAddiction #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #WhackAMoleAddiction #ActingInVsActingOut #DryDrunk #EmotionalRecovery #PartnerSupport #AddictionEducation #TraumaHealing #CompulsiveBehaviors

How can you tell if someone is truly in recovery or just white-knuckling their way through another cycle of sex addiction? In this deep and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery. Sobriety is what someone doesn't do. Recovery is what they do. And that distinction makes all the difference. Using analogies like beach balls under water, binge/purge cycles, and emotional suppression, they unpack the red flags that indicate when someone might be suppressing behaviors rather than healing and what it actually looks like when someone is leaning into recovery with vulnerability, honesty, and consistent action. If you're watching someone go through the motions and wondering, “Is this the real thing?” this episode will help you clarify the signs. #AddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #SobrietyVsRecovery #WhiteKnuckling #SexAddictionHelp #RelapsePrevention #RecoveryJourney #TraumaHealing #RelationshipSupport #SpiritualRecovery #12Steps #BoundariesInRecovery

How do you measure trust after betrayal and how much is enough to stay? In this honest and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Tim Stein and Jeanne Vattuone explore the “continuum of trust” and how partners can assess where they are and what they need after betrayal trauma. They break down how both the partner and the addict play a role in rebuilding what’s been lost. This episode is packed with clinical wisdom and tangible steps for those navigating the rocky path of recovery, relapse, and reconnection. #BetrayalTrauma #AddictionRecovery #RelapseAutopsy #TrustAfterBetrayal #CouplesHealing #SexAddictionRecovery #RelationshipRecovery #TraumaHealing #FindingTheWayThrough #RebuildingTrust

What really happens the moment after betrayal shatters your world? In this powerful episode, Rebecca Crews reflects on what life looks like 15 years after D‑Day, the moment everything she thought she knew came crashing down. She shares how her intuition refused to be silenced, the sleepless night that led to truth, and how it felt to have her entire reality suddenly split in two. This is a raw and reflective look at betrayal trauma: the chaos, the unraveling, and the unexpected wisdom that comes from deep betrayal. Rebecca opens up about how her body knew long before her mind caught up and what it means to reclaim your voice after devastation. #BetrayalTrauma #Dday #MarriageRecovery #Infidelity #WomensWisdom #Intuition #HealingJourney #PostTraumaticGrowth #RebeccaCrews #TerryCrews #RelationshipHealing #FaithAfterBetrayal #SexAddiction

What happens when your gut screams at you that something is seriously wrong and you're finally brave enough to listen? In this gripping episode, Rebecca Crews shares the night everything unraveled. It was February 10, 2010, what they now call D‑Day. Her husband, Terry Crews, was on set across the country. One unanswered call turned into a sickening gut feeling, and by morning, a marriage-shattering confession. From prophetic intuition to years of hidden pain, this episode pulls back the curtain on the moment betrayal came to light. Rebecca describes the rage that surfaced, the sudden knowing that something was deeply wrong, and how an ordinary Friday night call became the beginning of a total life transformation. Rebecca walks us through the first chaotic phase of betrayal trauma, offering a powerful lens into the early hours of discovery and the raw emotional aftermath that would shape the next 15 years of their life and marriage. This is not just a story of betrayal, it's a story of awakening, truth, and the first step toward deep healing. #BetrayalDiscovery #BetrayalTrauma #MarriageAfterInfidelity #GutInstinct #PropheticWisdom #TerryCrews #RelationshipHealing #PostTraumaticGrowth #FaithAndMarriage #RebeccaCrews #SexAddiction

What happens when the person you love most becomes a stranger and then dares to change? In this powerful and emotionally raw episode, Rebecca Crews reflects on the unraveling and rebuilding of their decades-long marriage to Terry. She shares the moment she began to believe change was possible not because of words, but because of action: Terry stepping into rehab, risking his image, and choosing vulnerability over pride. For years, Rebecca lived with someone who was angry, withdrawn, and impossible to reach. As the layers of betrayal surfaced, what followed was a painful, unexpected shift. Terry came home as someone new, broken open, tearful, and desperate not to lose his family. If you've ever questioned whether healing is worth the fight, this story will stay with you. #BetrayalRecovery #MarriageAfterAddiction #VulnerabilityInHealing #LongTermMarriage #EmotionalRecovery #TerryCrews #TraumaHealing #PartnerSupport #ForgivenessJourney #MarriageAfterBetrayal #Rebecca Crews #Betrayal Trauma

What does it take to stay married and truly connected for over three decades after betrayal? In this heartfelt conversation, Rebecca Crews opens up about their 36-year marriage, her grandfather’s influence, and the deep gratitude she feels for the journey they’ve walked with sex addiction. The discussion touches on the rollercoaster of trust, the all-or-nothing mindset often present in betrayal trauma, and the reality that healing isn't linear.  Rebecca reminds us that long-term love isn’t about perfection, it’s about presence, accountability, and choosing each other through every twist and turn. Whether you're navigating your own recovery or supporting someone else’s, this is a story of resilience, faith, and the power of showing up imperfectly, but wholeheartedly. #BetrayalTrauma #HealingTogether #LongTermMarriage #RelationshipRecovery #EmotionalHealing #AddictionRecovery #MarriageAfterBetrayal #SpiritualHealing  #LoveAndRecovery SexAddiction #RebeccaCrews #TerryCrews

In this episode, Allan Katz shares the inspiration behind his powerful workbook, Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery. This isn’t just a guide to staying sober it’s a deep dive into what comes next: finding meaning, living with integrity, and rediscovering purpose. Designed for those who’ve already begun their sobriety journey, Allan’s book introduces his VIP model Values, Integrity, Purpose and explores how distractions like technology, work, relationships, and emotional disconnection can keep people from living a fulfilling life post-addiction. Allan offers a clear and compassionate roadmap to help individuals go beyond just “not acting out” and instead move toward a more grounded, values-based life. In this conversation, you’ll learn: Why sobriety is only the first step and what comes after The 4 biggest distractions that derail recovery How to replace character defects with integrity-based living Why feelings, relationships, and purpose are essential for healing If you or someone you love is on the path of recovery, this discussion is a must-watch. #SexAddictionRecovery #SobrietyAndPurpose #AddictionWorkbook #RecoveryJourney #ValuesIntegrityPurpose #MensRecovery #LifeAfterAddiction #EmotionalSobriety