Why Human Connection Is So Important with Simone Heng

Welcome to the Connected Leadership podcast with Andy Lopata. This week, Andy looks back at his interview with former radio broadcaster and inspirational speaker, Simone Heng, author of the book Secret Pandemic: The Search for Connection in a Lonely World. Simone shares with Andy, the importance of human connection and how it affects our leadership and personal development. Simone talks about her experiences being both the critic and the criticised. She examines the importance of being vulnerable as a leader and how accountability plays an important part in leadership. She shares her belief that it is okay to have moments of overwhelm, and provided there are apologies to those affected, it is ok to not be together all the time. Simone shares the science around the need for human connection emphasising that a level of human connection is essential for both mental and physical wellbeing. She discusses how many are digitally connected yet emotionally disconnected. Key Takeaways ·       Vulnerability is the key to connecting to the people you lead ·       Human connection is not just a “nice to have” but is essential ·       Learn to apologise sincerely when you get it wrong, even if it is hard ·       Seek help from people who have different opinions and perspectives from you. ·       The real connection is with people who would “bring us to the hospital if we need it” ·       Pick up the phone - smiles are heard in the voice, whereas Zoom and teams remove some of the important connection nuances. ·       Meet your team where they are at - be flexible and open minded, ask them what they need. ·       Look for a serendipitous connection. Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Simone Heng: Website |LinkedIn |YouTube | X | Instagram The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 138 Featuring Simone Heng

In this episode of the Connected Leadership Podcast, host Andy Lopata welcomes Greg Williams, ‘The Master Negotiator & Body Language Expert.’  With 30+ years of experience, Greg has trained and consulted in 19 countries, helping people enhance their value and get more from every negotiation. A Harvard-trained negotiator, cited by Forbes, and ranked among the world's top 30 gurus in negotiation and body language, he's a celebrated author, speaker, and trainer. Greg's insights come from a wealth of experience, including advising top 50 corporations, contributing to major news networks, and even consulting on the TV show Love & Hip Hop New York. As a member of Marshall Goldsmith's 100 Coaches, Greg's expertise is trusted by world leaders and public figures, and he lives by the motto: 'You're always negotiating!'” Greg shares his expertise on how to effectively read and utilise body language during negotiations. He highlights the importance of establishing a baseline for an individual's nonverbal communication in a relaxed setting before assessing their gestures under pressure. Greg emphasises that body language cues are best interpreted as a cluster, not individually, to avoid misinterpretations. He also discusses the crucial role of focusing on the other party's needs, and the power of using strategic pauses and asking questions. Greg and Andy discuss how to identify deception, manage aggressive negotiators and adapt body language understanding across diverse cultures, emphasising the importance of cultural awareness. Additionally, the conversation extends to virtual negotiations, where body language signals can be even more pronounced and how empathetic technology is set to change the future landscape of how we negotiate. What we discussed  The Importance of the Baseline: Greg reveals how establishing a "normal" for someone is crucial to accurately interpreting their body language. This insight alone could revolutionise how you approach every conversation. Strategic Interpretation of Body Language: Learn how to avoid overthinking single cues and the importance of interpreting clusters of gestures for a clearer understanding of what’s really being said, beyond the words. Self-Awareness and Presence: How to shift focus from your needs to the needs of the other person—a powerful strategy that unlocks more collaborative results. Cultural Sensitivity: Crucial tips for navigating different cultural norms. Technological Impact: Uncover the future of negotiations through Greg’s insights on how empathetic technology will impact the professional landscape in the future and the ethical considerations to keep in mind.   SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Greg Williams: Website |LinkedIn |YouTube | X | Facebook  [email protected] The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 139 Featuring Kevin Gaskell

In this episode of the Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata looks back at his interview with Kevin Gaskell, serial entrepreneur, author, and adventurer. Kevin discusses his record-breaking row across the Atlantic, focusing on the lessons learnt that are applicable to business, particularly how smaller businesses can compete with larger giants. Kevin shares how his initial reluctance to row transformed into a world-record attempt, driven by a serendipitous conversation and the desire to explore new challenges. He emphasises the critical importance of team chemistry over paper qualifications, noting how a strong bond and mutual trust were paramount to their success. Kevin highlights the balance between encouraging people to stretch and respecting their boundaries. He emphasises creating a vision of success that inspires rather than imposing targets. He describes their intense preparation, including a rigorous training regime and specialised courses. He reveals how they managed the grueling demands of the race, covering two-hour shifts of rowing and maintaining discipline through clear communication, whilst balancing the need to remain focused and also to take in and appreciate the overall experience. The importance of a strong culture was central to their success. Kevin also shares how they dealt with difficult moments using a designated ‘release word,’ which allowed for individual time but open discussions to solve problems. He concludes by stressing the importance of enjoying the journey whatever your goal, viewing challenges as opportunities, and creating an environment of trust and openness. Key Takeaways Team Chemistry is Crucial: Prioritise a strong connection and trust among team members over traditional qualifications. Inspire with Vision, Not Just Targets: Motivate your team with an extraordinary vision, not just by setting financial goals. Commitment Requires Choice: Empower individuals with the freedom to choose, but expect full commitment once they buy in. Discipline and Balance: Find the balance between rigorous discipline and the need to have a positive culture, where people feel they can contribute and make an impact. Culture is the Foundation: Create an open and honest culture built on kindness and mutual respect. Enjoy the Journey: Embrace the challenges and difficulties as learning opportunities, and find joy in the pursuit of your goals.   SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Kevin Gaskell: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 139 Featuring Kevin Gaskell

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata revisits the episode with LaTonya Kilpatrick, Worldwide Director of Technology Research and Innovation at Colgate Palmolive. LaTonya, a chemist by training, discusses the critical role of strong partnerships, both internal and external, in her work to develop better oral care solutions. She emphasises that effective partnerships begin with understanding each party's motivations, curiosity, and what they can gain from collaboration. LaTonya describes how her team often partners with external academics for data analysis or with companies that need help navigating oral care regulations and metrics. She also highlights internal partnerships with product development and IT teams to bring ideas to fruition. She explains that the decision to build a competency or partner depends on project needs and whether the partnership is a long-term investment for the company. A major challenge lies in bridging the communication gap between different departments (e.g., scientists vs. IT) and ensuring all contributors, especially implementers, feel appreciated and recognised for their role. LaTonya maintains that transparency and authentic communication are also crucial to maintaining trust. She discusses how the most successful partnerships are with those who understand the value of the relationship. Finally, Andy and LaTonya talk about her passion to engage children in science, emphasising her role as a scientist and mentor. Her goal is to help them by making science fun and approachable early on, inspiring children to see science in their everyday lives, using simple experiments. Key Takeaways: Understanding Motivations: Successful partnerships begin with truly understanding what motivates each party, what their goals are, and how they can benefit from thecollaboration. Build vs. Partner: Decisions on whether to build internal expertise or partner externally should be made on a project-by-project basis, considering long-term value and needed expertise. Language and Communication: Bridging communication gaps between different departments or organisations is crucial. It is essential to adapt language, really listen, and find common ground. Appreciation is Key: Recognising and appreciating all contributors, including those in supporting roles, is vital for building and maintaining trust and morale. Research is Essential: Those seeking partnerships must demonstrate they understand the needs and value of the potential partner by doing their research and presenting it in the right perspective. Science is Everywhere: Science can be made fun and approachable for children, fostering their natural curiosity.   Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with LaTonya Kilpatrick: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 178: Building Strong Partnerships' LaTonya Kilpatrick

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata revisits his interview with Michael Roderick, host of the "Access to Anyone" podcast, exploring the dynamics of recommendations and referrals. Michael, who transitioned from a high school teacher to a Broadway producer, shares his insights on how to build a personal brand that encourages people to recommend you. Andy and Michael note that people like to feel useful, not used. It's crucial to focus on the benefit you provide to clients rather than just describing what you do, framing it as solving a problem for them. This makes it easier for others to see how they can recommend you when the opportunity arises. Michael also discusses the nuances of reciprocity, highlighting that individuals have different impulses and timelines for reciprocating. Some feel compelled to immediately reciprocate, while others take time to vet those they recommend. Michael uses his "fast to view, slow to recommend" approach from his Broadway days as an example of considered and thoughtful recommendations. They also explore the importance of trust and consistency, emphasising the need to do what you say you'll do promptly to build confidence in your credibility. Furthermore, they address how word-of-mouth, qualified recommendations, and clear communication impact success. To build a personal brand for referrals, Michael uses the acronym "AIM" - Accessibility, Influence and Memory. You need to have an accessible message, make people look good when they share it, and be memorable. Ultimately, it is better to be focused on the curiosity it creates than the access it gains, as this will mean people will be more likely to recommend you. Key Takeaways: Focus on Usefulness, Not Just Functionality: When describing what you do, highlight the problem you solve for clients, making it easy for others to see who in their network could benefit. Reciprocity is Nuanced: Understand that people have different impulses and timelines for reciprocating. Some are quick to reciprocate, whilst others take a long time. Be aware of these differences. Consistency Builds Trust: Follow through on your commitments promptly to establish credibility and encourage recommendations. AIM for a Referrable Brand: Make your message accessible, so people understand it. Ensure it creates influence which helps the sharer to look good and create memory by using language, emotion, simplicity and structure. Prioritise Curiosity over Access: Craft your message to generate interest and curiosity rather than just focusing on getting in front of people. Stories Enhance Memorability: Use stories and metaphors to make your message more engaging and easier for others to remember and repeat accurately.   Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Michael Roderick: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 131 Featuring Michael Roderick

Welcome back to the Connected Leadership Podcast! We kick off 2025 with a returning guest, commercial mediator Jane Gunn, who joins Andy Lopata to discuss her new book, "The Mole and the Mountain." This parable explores the journey of overcoming obstacles and finding personal fulfillment, offering valuable insights for goal setting and personal growth in the New Year. Jane explains the two key principles of mediation that underpin the book: self-determination and being fully informed. She introduces the "Map of Experience" that guides the mole's journey and represents the stages of mediation. The first stage, "Now," involves understanding the narrative and identifying the challenges we face. This is about stepping out of our comfort zones and embracing curiosity. Andy and Jane then discuss the importance of mentorship in pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones and overcoming fear. Jane emphasises the role of a mentor who provides challenge without taking control. Next, they explore the fear of being wrong, a common obstacle in both mediation and personal life. Jane talks about shifting from a "win-lose" mindset to a "win-win" approach, emphasising the importance of understanding people's needs and interests rather than focusing on who is right or wrong. The focus turns to the importance of clarity in creating a vision for the future, the need to dig deep and understand what truly drives us. Andy and Jane also discuss the concept of "no one is coming to save us," the importance of self-determination and taking responsibility for our own decisions. Jane argues that mediation is a "grown-up" way of resolving disputes, allowing individuals to find creative solutions by taking control. Staying on track despite obstacles and setbacks, they share their personal experiences of perseverance and the importance of vision and a clear "why" to motivate them during difficult times. The episode concludes with a discussion on the importance of celebrating successes and recognising that failure can often be a stepping stone to greater success. What we discussed ·       How to deal with change that snatches us out of our comfort zone ·       How to overcome the fear that stops us following our dreams ·       How to create a clear vision of the future and belief that we can make it ·       How no one is coming to save us and we must dig deep when we are stuck ·       How to stay on track and never give up despite the obstacles and setbacks ·       How hardship and pain is part of the journey and path to triumph ·       How in the end it is up to us to decide and no one can take the journey for us Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Jane Gunn: Website |LinkedIn |X/Twitter The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring The Mole and the Mountain

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata revisits his interview with Malcolm Palmer on making Making Your Business Less Dependent On You. Andy and Malcolm discuss the challenges of business ownership, stress management, and the importance of strong professional relationships. Andy shares his personal journey of learning to cope with stress, highlighting the need to recognise both conscious and unconscious stress signals. Andy also emphasises the importance of vulnerable leadership, sharing experiences that led to him writing his book "Just Ask." He stresses the need for balance between work and personal life, incorporating hobbies and healthy activities into his schedule as part of his job.  Complacency is a major enemy of productivity, and the key to overcoming it is to build habits and find strategic ways of working. Andy also mentions the importance of strategic thinking, taking time to work on big projects, and being mindful. Andy and Malcolm also explore the concept of "catastrophising"—anticipating" potential disasters to proactively avoid them—and the importance of letting go of negative relationships to improve focus and productivity. Andy concludes with insights into transitioning the business from being time-based to product-based and his plans for an app, The Relationship Matrix, which he is piloting. Key Takeaways: Recognise and Manage Stress: Business owners often hide stress, but it's essential to understand both conscious and unconscious stress signals.  Vulnerable Leadership: Be open and share with your team, but strategically and when it's appropriate, trust builds strong relationships. Authenticity and transparency make you relatable. Balance is Key: It’s vital to schedule in personal time, hobbies and health. By treating wellness as part of your job, you make it non-negotiable. Combat Complacency: Be wary of complacency and create habits that help your business grow. Build in processes to allow time for the important but not urgent tasks. Strategic Time Management: Prioritise deep work and focus on important tasks rather than the easy wins first.  Relationships Matter: Build strong, positive professional relationships with the right people and let go of negative relationships to improve productivity. Be ready to move on from relationships that aren’t strong. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Malcom Palmer: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

In this episode, Andy Lopata revisits his guest interview with Melina Palmer on The Brainy Business Podcast, to explore the power of connected leadership. Andy, a master of networking, discusses his approach to building genuine, helpful relationships for both career advancement and business growth. He emphasises emphasizes that executive success depends on the network one builds, which goes beyond surface-level contacts. Andy shares insights on fostering "connected leadership" by surrounding yourself with people who can both offer help, want to help and know how to help. He explains that these elements are tied to performance, image, and exposure, a concept that can supercharge one's career. He reveals that people are more likely to support you not just because they're told to or see a personal gain, but because they genuinely like and trust you, making it important to nurture relationships by connecting on a human level. Andy further discusses how to move past fears of being seen as vulnerable when asking for help by reframing it as a request based on confidence and inner strength. He encourages listeners to make it easy for people to help them through clear, specific asks. Andy and Melina look The conversation delves into the importance of mentoring and letting supportive connections evolve naturally.Andy He stresses the need to balance giving and receiving while always prioritising prioritizing personal capacity. Finally, Andy introduces his "Curiosity Cycle," where curiosity, listening, authenticity and vulnerability interconnect to build meaningful relationships. Key Takeaways: Executive success is linked to the relationships one builds. People are motivated to help when they like and trust you. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Be specific in your asks, and make it easy for people to help. Letting mentoring evolve naturally, and know when to say "no." Cultivate a mindset of curiosity, listening, authenticity, and vulnerability. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Melina Palmer: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring The Curiosity Cycle: Developing Trust and Engagement

This episode of Connected Leadership Bytes features a revisit of Andy's conversation with Melva Lajoy Legrand, a leading event planner. Andy and Melva discuss the art of creating authentic connections, not just at large-scale events but also within teams and with individual relationships. Melva emphasises the importance of designing experiences that make people feel seen, valued, and heard. She shares practical strategies for event organisers, including using icebreakers that encourage storytelling, and creating spaces catering to diverse personality types (introverts and extroverts). The conversation then extends beyond event planning, exploring how to foster authentic connections in the workplace and personal life. Melva reveals the significance of vulnerability and humility in building genuine relationships, both professionally and personally. They also touch upon the evolving landscape of events, with an emphasis on interactive experiences over traditional lecture formats, and pre-event engagement strategies for creating lasting connections with audiences.  In this episode, Andy asks Melva to share a podcast episode in which she tells her personal journey. Melva recommends listening to her podcast interview with Elizabeth Smart Foundation. Melva asked to stress that, "This post contains sensitive information which is meant to heal not harm. Read with care. Consider with compassion. Protect your peace." This episode of Connected Leadership Bytes offers a deep dive into the art of creating authentic connections, whether through events, leadership, or everyday interactions, and provides valuable insights for anyone looking to foster genuine relationships in their personal or professional life. Key Takeaways: Design for Connection: Creating events (or any interaction) should prioritise making people feel seen, valued, and heard. Authenticity is Key: Genuine connections are built on vulnerability, humility, and a willingness to share both successes and challenges. This fosters trust and deeper engagement. Know Your Audience: Recognise the diverse personality types within any group and design experiences that cater to introverts and extroverts alike. Avoid a one-size-fits-all approach. Beyond Job Titles: Encourage interactions based on shared experiences and stories rather than solely professional roles. This fosters a sense of community and belonging. Pre- and Post-Event Engagement: Extend the connection beyond the event itself through pre-event communication and post-event follow-up, creating a more lasting impact. The Power of Vulnerability: Openly sharing personal struggles can build stronger connections with others, fostering empathy and trust. It's important to do the personal work before sharing to ensure authenticity.   SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | Youtube Connect with Melva Lajoy Legrand: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Lisa Fane, CEO of the Center for Mentoring Excellence, and her colleague Michelle Hancock interview Andy Lopata. They discuss the importance of professional relationships, networking, and mentoring. Focusing on building authentic connections, understanding the difference between networking and professional relationships, and the concept of a personal board of advisors. Andy shares strategies for maintaining professional networks, the role of vulnerability in mentorship and the impact of remote work on mentoring and professional relationships. He emphasises the importance of consistency and frequency in building connections and offers insights into evolving mentoring practices in the modern workplace.   Key Takeaways Reframing Networking: Shifting the perception of "networking" to "professional relationship strategy." Focus on building genuine, long-term relationships based on mutual respect and trust. The Power of Personal Boards of Advisors (Mastermind Groups): Crucial for leveraging diverse expertise and perspectives, this peer-to-peer mentoring approach offers invaluable support, guidance, and problem-solving capabilities. Regular meetings are key. The Seven Stages of Professional Relationships: Andy highlights a model (detailed in his book Connected Leadership) outlining seven stages of relationship development. Focusing on strengthening relationships in the middle stages (where rapport and trust exist but advocacy hasn't fully developed) is more effective than constantly seeking new connections. Vulnerability and Trust: Authentic professional relationships require vulnerability from both the mentor and mentee. Sharing struggles, mistakes, and doubts builds stronger connections and increases the resonance of the mentorship. Avoiding Common Pitfalls: Common networking mistakes: prioritising quantity over quality, asking for help too soon, and treating relationships transactionally. Instead look for consistent, frequent engagement, and fostering genuine connections without an immediate expectation of return. The Evolution of Mentorship: Andy notes the shift in mentorship due to remote work and changing career paths. This necessitates a more inclusive approach, embracing virtual mentoring, cross-organisational collaborations, and adapting to the needs of younger generations who prioritise long-term development over short-term project-based coaching.   Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Lisa Fain: Website |LinkedIn | Listen to the full episode here The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring