Can't Host: Gay, Bisexual, and Queer Men’s Sex and Relationships podkast

Ep.92: How to Heal Your Relationship Triggers

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Why can a seemingly small moment with someone you love suddenly bring up overwhelming shame, anxiety, anger, or fear? In this personal solo episode, I explore why romantic relationships can activate some of our deepest wounds and how our triggers can become doorways into unresolved trauma. I share a vulnerable experience from my own relationship that triggered a freeze response around sex, shame, and performance, and how I recognized what was happening and brought myself back into safety.


I then guide you through the three-step process I use to work with relationship triggers: regulating your nervous system, acknowledging and expressing what you’re feeling, and exploring the deeper experiences underneath the trigger. We talk about fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, nervous system regulation, the wet noodle technique, box breathing, the butterfly hug, somatic awareness, and journaling questions for identifying where a trigger began. This episode will help you understand what your body may be trying to communicate when you get triggered and approach those moments with greater awareness and care.


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