BREAKING! Bionic Crow Loses Wing, Gains Full Hero Arc - Trail Mix #111

In our final episode of the year we’ve got some big surprises. Counselor Zachariah finds out his mom has a secret half-brother! Speaking of brotherly love, we also get into our love for the Jonas Brothers Christmas movie, judge some truly unwell neighbor holiday decor, and make an important announcement: we’re taking a short break from the podcast, but we’ll be back in the new year. Plus, we get into a James Bond jewel thief, and Quinta Brunson’s field trip fund. Obviously we have to wrap up the year with some ranting and question why skydivers are scattering ashes… in the sky? Also what the even heck is up with the GPS screaming directions at full volume while we are posing at a public rest stop?? And of course, we end on the important stuff: ribbon candy love, baking timelapse obsession, and a couple songs to carry you into the season. Your civic duty as campers begins now: vote in the Nunu Nana Awards at CampCounselorsPodcast.com/vote! Winners announced in the 2nd annual Nunu Nana Award Ceremony on January 14, 2026.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ For a limited time, get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off sitewide! Exclusions apply. See site for details.Works Cited:➜ Corlett, Eva. “Man Charged with Theft after Allegedly Swallowing Fabergé Pendant in Jewellery Store.” The Guardian, 2 Dec. 2025. ➜ Gonzalez, Alex. “Quinta Brunson Launches ‘Field Trip Fund’ For Philadelphia Schools.” Complex, 5 Dec. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode, we’ve got another batch of listener-submitted stories. First up, one camper needs help addressing an uncomfortable situation with her stepson's very loud very gay late night wrestling. Then we take it to Pittsburgh, where a summer school van run turns into a literal cliffhanger. And finally, we enter the realm of spiritual warfare: a teen gets dragged to a priest for an exorcism.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!SPONSORS➜ Start making progress with your money today. Open an account in minutes at Chime.com/CAMPCheck out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week at Camp Shady Birch, we’re unwrapping the worst part of the holidays: truly unhinged gift guides and the chaos of simply being alive in December! Counselor Zachariah kicks things off with a parking violation saga for the ages after he found a bright orange sticker slapped on his perfectly legal parked car and immediately took to the internet to publicly drag the culprit. Festive! Counselor Jonathan dives into the wild story of a magician who implanted an RFID chip in his hand for magic tricks and then forgot the password to his own hand. It's giving tech anxiety. Also, a new study about how urban raccoons are literally evolving shorter snouts and showing early signs of domestication just from living in our cities and eating our garbage. We love new housemates!! They should pay rent lol! We've got the annual curse of dry cracked knuckles, terrible holiday gift guides, undying love for gingerbread men and why they’ve finally (rightfully!!) become the face of the holiday season this year, and so much more!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ For a limited time, get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP➜ Score deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Works Cited:➜ Pring, Joe. “Magician ‘Forgot the Password’ to His Own Hand after Locking Himself Out of Implanted RFID Chip.” Dexerto, 22 Nov. 2025.➜ Hill, Marta. “Urban Raccoons Are Showing Signs of Early Domestication, With Shorter Snouts Than Their Rural Cousins.” Smithsonian Magazine, 21 Nov. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories. First up, a Cancun wedding trip turns chaotic when a tequila-fueled vacation fling with a younger boss collides with a very sensitive stomach. Then, a quick Sonic run in a comfy romper turns into a drive-through moment so embarrassing our camper still refuses to go back. Finally, we head into the New England woods, where our camper's little brother goes from home chef to felony arson.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!SPONSORS➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year!➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today. ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week on Camp Counselors, the holiday chaos begins! We kick off the episode by showing off our newly decorated studio (check it out on youtube duh!) To wet the whistle, we are talking panic attacks, gay sheep whose wool was serving lewks in the West Hollywood scene, and an Aussie band’s canceled show and massive bar tab. Naturally, this spirals into classic counselor TAKE A HIKE rants abou losers who refuse to participate in the wave at stadium games, the tragedy of losing a tube of chapstick before you finish it, why Zachariah is fully committed to becoming the godfather of a cruise ship, and so much more.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ For a limited time, get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frame (Wirecutter’s #1 pick) at AuraFrames.com with promo code: CAMP➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off! Exclusions apply. See site for details.➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/2daxxo2x As a Cash App partner, we may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Works Cited:➜ Bradfield, Jordan. Yes, There Was a Fashion Show Made From the Wool of Gay Sheep. Paper Magazine. 17 Nov. 2025.➜ Qiu, Daisy. Gay Sheep Knitwear and a Rainbow-Wool Runway: Why “Gay Sheep” Are Fashion’s New Queer Statement. The New York Times. 11 Nov. 2025.➜ Carter, Jeremy. Amyl and the Sniffers Shout Melbourne Live Music Venues $35K in Free Drinks After Fed Square Cancel. ABC News. 14 Nov. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories about a camper robbed of her gingerbread glory by the cookie cartel, a midweek snow storm that turned a middle school into an emergency shelter, and a dark tale about a camper interviewed by the FBI… and later visited by a ghost.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!SPONSORS➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories!Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!SPONSORS➜ To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/camp ➜ Get your first bag for $14.99 and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week’s episode is a full cross-country recap of our travel week. We kicked things off in New York City for Zachariah’s live show, plus his SPICY moment on Hot Ones. From there, we headed straight to Salt Lake City, where a very enthusiastic Mormon couple attempted to convert us. They were like... totally obsessed with us. Then we made a spiritual pilgrimage to Swig to get our hands on some dirty sodas! Of course, Zach almost had a bathroom emergency at the Mormon temple that sent us sprinting to Nordstrom. Then we got on a spooky scary shaky flight to Portland, OR and not gonna lie we were scared lol the aggressive turbulence was real. Then Jonathan covers the story of a toddler who literally eats books and furniture, and Zach covers the story of a loose pig named Breakfast who is terrorizing a New York neighborhood. It's a lot!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/camp➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 25% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year!➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.Works Cited:➜ Amos, Ilan Ben. “My One-Year-Old Eats Books, Toys, Tables and Even His Cot.” BBC News, 2024.➜ Mason, Erin. “Loose Pig Named ‘Breakfast’ Is Terrorizing Residents of a New York Neighborhood.” The Independent, 2024.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode we are reading more listener submitted stories! First, Counselor Jonathan read a confession from a former college junior whose feud with her roommate escalated into a petty act of revenge involving yellow liquid a bottle of mouthwash. Then, Counselor Zachariah breaks down a listener’s journey running the Taco Bell 50K in Denver!! YES FOR REAL! Crunchwraps, wrong turns, and all 31 miles of the race. Finally, a camper has an unforgettable day on the set of a beloved 2000s Nickelodeon show, where a wad of gum left the most mortifying first impression. IT'S A JUICY ONE!Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!SPONSORS➜ Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/CAMP today. ➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It all started with a simple trip to TJ Maxx. Because every great night begins in the clearance aisle. From there, things only went uphill. Hibachi takeout, a Sister Wives marathon, and a little too much saké that led Zach to start one sided beef with TLC network and then continue to DM one of the stars of the show. This week, we unpack our obsession with reality TV drama, a strong opinion on fake “podcasts” that are really just ads disguised as "entertaining clips" or whatever. Then Zachariah tells his own harrowing tale when his stomach betrayed him in a coffee shop. We're talking newly found cough drops, a lawsuit involving a duck on a SeaWorld roller coaster, and our love for the Y2K pop duo ASHNIA. It's a lot, but so are we ;)This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Jocelyn Solis-Moreira. “Scientists Are One Step Closer to Letting Humans ‘Breathe’ Through Their Butts.” Men’s Health, 24 Oct. 2025.➜ Nick Papantonis. “Woman Knocked Unconscious by Duck While Riding Roller Coaster, Lawsuit Claims.” WFTV, 28 Oct. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.