When You’re With Someone With Kids: Do You Have to Be a Stepparent?

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla to unpack a dilemma that challenges the unspoken expectations of blended families.A woman writes in about her relationship with a man who has children from a previous partner. When they first got together, he was happy to keep things separate, no pressure to step into a parenting role, and that suited her perfectly. But now, his family have started making comments, and he’s beginning to change his mind. Suddenly, the idea of becoming a stepmum feels less like a choice and more like an expectation.The panel really respect her honesty, she laid out her boundaries from the start but they question whether being with someone who has kids means you have to take on the stepparent role eventually. Cilla argues that while you might start off playing the aunty or the cool friend, that approach doesn’t work long-term especially if you live together. The aim, she says, should be to grow.Not everyone agrees. Kate and Nathalie discuss the emotional pressure women often face to "mother" in blended dynamics, and the fine line between respecting someone’s boundaries and avoiding the impact on the children involved. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-host Nathalie and TV and radio presenter Snoochie Shy for a powerful conversation about big life moments, loyalty, and how blended family dynamics can make emotional decisions even harder. Snoochie brings a unique perspective, not as a parent but as someone who grew up with a stepdad she’s incredibly close to. Together, the panel dive into two dilemmas from listeners trying to balance love and loyalty. In the first, a woman wants her stepdad to walk her down the aisle, but worries it will offend her biological father. In the second, a listener wants both her mum and stepmum in the room when she gives birth but fears her mum won’t take it well. Nathalie doesn’t think anyone should put pressure on someone else’s feelings, while Kate understands why it might still hurt there are moments you naturally dream of sharing with your child. Snoochie reminds us that communication is everything, and that your wishes matter just as much as anyone else’s. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Cilla and Nathalie to unpack a dilemma that’s left one stepmum torn between her child and her parents.She writes in devastated that since having a baby with her partner, her parents have changed, they only want to look after their biological grandchild and have completely pulled away from her stepson. Before the baby arrived, they treated him like their own. Now, she’s heartbroken and questioning whether she ever imagined having to set boundaries with her own family.Kate doesn't agree, saying that all children deserve to feel included and that if your family won’t treat them equally, it’s your job to protect the child. But Cilla challenges that view, arguing that while you may choose a blended family, others in your life aren’t always obliged to be on board even if it hurts.Together, they explore a painful but important question: where do you draw the line when it’s your own parents showing bias? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and her husband Rio Ferdinand, as they tackle a dilemma that a stepmum writes in concerned that her partner is a loving, present father to their child but wasn’t like that with his older children. She worries about the difference in how he shows up, and how that might affect the kids.The group get real about what happens when parents evolve. Rio opens up about being in a different stage of life now more present and admits that in the past, he put family on the back burner while focused on his football career. It’s an honest reflection on how age, maturity, and life circumstances can shape how someone parents.They also revisit a dilemma from a previous episode that Rio joined for a few minutes to discuss but didn’t get to break it down, a dad who is taking in his biological daughter but allowing his stepdaughter to go into care. They discuss whether biology should ever be the dividing line, and what it really means to show up for a child. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and Cilla to unpack a dilemma that touches on family loyalty, jealousy, and boundaries.A stepmum writes in upset that her partner’s mum still has a close relationship with his ex. They spend time together, but she and her mother-in-law have no relationship at all. She admits it makes her feel jealous, insecure, and even a little pushed out of the family.Kate argues that this is a normal reaction most people would feel the same sting but stresses that it’s important to recognise the feeling without acting on it. Cilla takes a tougher stance, saying it’s none of the stepmum’s business as long as her partner’s mum has a good relationship with her son and grandchildren.The panel explores the wider questions: What happens when loyalties blur across old and new relationships? Is it natural to feel jealous, or does jealousy create bigger problems? And how do you navigate in-laws who still keep one foot in the past? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand and Nathalie are joined by special guest co-host, presenter and dad Rickie Haywood-Williams. Together, they tackle the dilemma of a mum whose biological son lives with his dad, while she lives with her partner, stepdaughter and their new baby. She admits she never thought she wouldn’t live with her biological child, and now she worries she can feel him pulling away as she builds a family under a different roof.For Rickie, this hits really close to home. His oldest daughter is from a previous relationship, and now he lives with his stepdaughter and young son. He talks honestly about how he navigated that shift with his daughter, stressing how important it is to keep expressing love, carving out time just for them, and staying consistent even when teenagers seem distant. Sometimes, he says, it’s just about sending that text or making that call even if it doesn’t get a reply.Kate reflects on her own household, where the little ones are desperate to see the older kids. Nathalie channels her inner Cilla and reminds everyone that different households can have different rules, and that’s okay what matters most is the connection and the love.The panel also debate the role of phones. Rickie shares that if he could go back, he’d have restricted phones for longer, because while they help kids stay in touch across households, they can also pull children into isolation and take away valuable family time. The group talk about guilt, balance, and how to make sure your children feel seen and loved no matter where they call home.Follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Nathalie and Cilla to unpack a heartbreaking dilemma.A mum writes in devastated after her partner refused to take in his daughter’s older sister meaning she may end up in care. She’s torn apart, not just for the child, but also because she fears what it says about her partner. If he can turn his back on his daughter’s sibling, could he one day do the same to her son?The ladies feel very strongly that siblings should not be split up and urge the mum to fight for the girl to live with them. Cilla and Nathalie share their anger at how a child could be left behind, while Kate calls Rio to join the show to get a male perspective. Rio insists he wouldn’t let a child go into care but he’s also brutally honest that a lot of men might, when faced with financial pressure or the question of biology.Together they explore whether “not my child” is ever a fair excuse, the painful reality of how easy some people can separate siblings, and what responsibility really looks like in blended families.Follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand and Nathalie are joined by Jessica May, the influencer known for her cleaning hacks, parenting advice, and unfiltered honesty. Jessica opens up about one of the worst times of her life: discovering her partner’s betrayal, the devastation that followed, and the painful process of rebuilding not just her life, but her sense of self.She doesn’t sugarcoat a thing dropping raw truths and bombshells that leave the ladies stunned. Nathalie can’t hide her frustration at the injustice Jess has faced, while Kate is in awe of the grace and strength she’s found through it all. At the heart of her story? One focus: making sure her daughters are happy, no matter what.Together, they tackle a dilemma from a mum whose ex and his new partner keep trying to control what happens in her home. Where’s the line between co-parenting and overstepping? The ladies don’t hold back, debating how to set boundaries, when to push back, and what healthy co-parenting really looks like.And when the conversation turns to discipline, the panel is split: Kate believes stepparents should be able to tell a child off if they live with and care for them while Jessica is clear she wouldn’t want anyone but dad stepping in with her girls.Follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by co-hosts Cilla and Nathalie to tackle a dilemma that cuts to the heart of step-parenting. A listener writes in about her stepson, who she’s helped raise for almost a decade after his biological mum wasn’t around. For years, she’s been the one doing the school runs, bedtime routines, and being “mum” in every way that mattered.But now his biological mum has reappeared and everything has shifted. Her stepson’s behaviour has changed, and suddenly the stepmum feels like she’s being pushed out of a role she’s built her life around.The ladies explore the painful truth many stepparents face: the sense that, no matter how much love and care you give, you can still be sidelined when a biological parent decides to step back in. They discuss the emotions at play from a mum’s possible shame for not being there, to a child’s natural pull towards wanting that maternal bond, to the stepmum’s fear of being discarded after years of sacrifice.Kate and Nathalie debate whether the stepmum should hold firm in her place as the one who’s raised him, or whether blended families sometimes have to weather these painful shifts. They also talk about how to stop resentment building, the importance of reassurance for both the child and the step-parent, and why blended families need to be ready for these moments of sudden change.Follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

 This week on Blended, Kate Ferdinand is joined by Nathalie and special guest co-host Joel Beya — presenter, founder of Cheeky Sport, and dad — who brings a raw and honest male perspective to the table. Together, they tackle a dilemma from a woman whose partner won’t let her meet his ex. She’s asked, he keeps avoiding it, and now she’s starting to get suspicious.Is this a massive red flag, or just a man not ready to blend the past with the present? Joel is brutally honest about why some men hold back, admitting he’s hurt people in the past simply because he wasn’t ready or serious. Kate says she’d want to meet the ex and build a relationship for the children’s sake but Joel pushes back, arguing it’s not always that simple.The trio debate Is it about protecting boundaries, or avoiding responsibility? and the ladies discuss why women can't settle for mixed signals instead of acting like the prize. Just when things heat up, Joel drops his belief that there’s no such thing as “one true love” — and that doesn’t sit well with Kate or Nathalie.Follow @blended on Instagram to share your story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.