Healing from self-hatred

Many of us have felt self loathing at some point in our lives — maybe when you've failed at an important task at work, or lost an important relationship.But some people hate themselves all the time — their inner monologue is a constant drumbeat of self-criticism and self-loathing. Where does this kind of all-encompassing self-hate come from? And is there a way to unlearn it?We speak to psychiatrist Dr Blaise Aguirre, author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You. This episode discusses the topic of suicide - please take care while listening.This episode first aired in February 2025.Guest:Dr Blaise AguirreChild and adolescent psychiatristAssistant Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical SchoolAuthor, I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About YouCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Isabella TropianoThanks to Freesound.org users 7by7, qubodup, laft2k, andre.nascimentoTo find the transcript for this episode, head to it's original webpage.Resources:Lifeline Australia1800RESPECTYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Be honest, how many times have you checked your notifications in the last hour? Or opened a new, totally unrelated tab? Or stopped what you're doing even though you really need to do it?Distractions are everywhere. And whether they're self-imposed or coming from our environment, it can be hard to focus.Today, we explore the ramifications of our rapidly shrinking attention spans, debunk some myths about focus, and discuss the art of taking a break.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode first aired in March 2025.Guests:Dr Emma Fitzgerald Clinical NeuropsychologistSebEmma's son and distracted teenagerGloria Mark, PhDChancellor's Professor Emerita, University of California, IrvineAuthor, Attention SpanCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Bella TropianoTo find the transcript for this episode, head to its original webpage.Extra info:Gloria's The Future of Attention substackSmartphones in the nursery: Parental smartphone use and parental sensitivity and responsiveness within parent–child interaction in early childhood (0–5 years): A scoping reviewDitching your smartphone won't stop you being distracted, study finds

Have you ever experienced "the ick"?It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their hat, a hobby or even the way they laugh.Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question - what causes it? To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick - why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode first aired in March 2025.Guests:MichaelaSingle and ick-proneAdam HorvathClinical Psychologist at Personal PsychologyProfessor Gery Karantzas, PhDCouples therapistDirector, Science of Adult Relationships laboratoryDeakin UniversityCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineers: Tegan Nicholls and Michael GrossmanYou can find the transcript for this episode on its original webpage here.More information:The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds

Developmental paediatrician Dr Billy Garvey has seen a lot of kids with behavioural issue over the years, and there are ten things he wishes all parents understood about their kids mental health.From insecure attachment to separation anxiety to emotional difficulties – he gives us the low down on why kids get labelled ‘bad’ – and what’s really going on (usually).You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode first aired in February 2025.Guest:Dr Billy GarveyDevelopmental paediatricianAuthor, Ten things I wish you knew about your child's mental healthPodcast co-host, Pop Culture ParentingFounder, Guiding Growing MindsCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: John Jacobs

Difficult people are everywhere. Maybe you're one of them, or maybe you're about to sit through an awkward holiday situation with someone you REALLY don't know how to handle.This week, clinical psychologist Rachel Samson returns to answer all your questions on challenging people from the All in the Mind mailbox.How do I deal with my coworker who's crossing boundaries? Should I try and make peace with my problematic family member?We'll answer these questions and more — from how to avoid becoming a difficult person yourself, to the power of radical acceptance.Thank you for listening to All in the Mind this year! If you have an episode idea for next year or want to send some feedback, you can email us at [email protected]:Rachel SamsonClinical psychologistCo-author, Beyond DifficultDirector of the Australian Association of PsychologistsRachael Samson also appeared on our episode in November called Narcissist, or just a pain? How to deal with difficult people.Credits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Bethany StewartYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the prohibition era in the US, to gun control in Australia, bans have been used throughout history to change behaviour. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes, they lead to a whole lot of unintended consequences.With the social media ban for under-16’s taking effect this week, we uncover the three factors that can determine whether a ban is more likely to succeed or fail – and find out what the history of bans tells us about how effective this policy might be (or not).Plus – how solid is the research on the link between mental ill health and social media use?You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.Guests:Dr Alexis WhittonAssociate Professor and psychologistThe Black Dog Institute and University of New South WalesDr Kate Harrison BrennanProfessor of Practice and Academic Director of the Sydney Policy LabHonorary Associate at the Sydney Law SchoolUniversity of SydneySeb, Eva, Ciara, LilyWith additional thanks to Associate Professor Susanne Schweizer, from the University of New South Wales.Credits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Micky GrossmanA big thank you to everyone who sent us emails and voice memos with their thoughts on the social media ban. We couldn't include everyone but we appreciate getting to hear your perspectives.Thanks to freesound.org users TRP and davidbainMore information:Support for under-16 social media ban soars to 77% among AustraliansIllegal tobacco is a deadly $10 billion industry wiping out legitimate businessesSmoking rates continue to decline while vaping triples, national household drug survey showsPsychological reactance to system-level policies before and after their implementationThe presence of laws and mandates is associated with increased social norm enforcementYouth mental health enters 'dangerous phase'Social psychologist and author of best-selling book The Anxious Generation Jonathan Haidt talks to News Breakfast about Australia's world-first under 16 social media ban — ABC LifestyleeSafety appoints Stanford University-led academic advisory group to assess the impacts of the Social Media Minimum Age obligationDigital mental health, Black Dog Institute

The ABC's biggest investigative true crime podcast Unravel has just dropped their new season, Huntsman, and it's already rocketing up the podcast charts.You might remember when former Jetstar pilot Greg Lynn was convicted of murder in the High Country. The story made headlines when Lynn admitted to burning the campers' bodies to cover his tracks.But behind the scenes, people who knew him years ago began talking and sending messages.It sparked an ABC investigation that uncovered the full story of his dark past and his abusive relationship with his first wife, Lisa Lynn, which ended in tragedy.In this new season, investigative reporter Rachael Brown uncovers the details of Greg Lynn's former life and the fear and damage he left behind him in the suburbs.You can find the podcast on ABC listen, or search for Unravel: Huntsman wherever you get your podcasts.

When bad things happen, do you berate yourself or treat yourself with compassion? Do you journal, meditate, or listen to music?Growing up, Sabrina McKenzie always turned to music to help her through her worst moments.As she got older and began studying psychology, she realised what she felt when she listened to sad or angry songs ... was self-compassion.In the field of positive psychology there’s plenty of research on how journalling and meditation can cultivate self-compassion (and plenty of research suggesting self-compassionate people are more mentally and physically healthy).But Sabrina was shocked to learn there was no research on whether music could cultivate self-compassion. She decided to change that.Today: the songs that saved Sabrina, and the novel research looking for a link between music and self-compassion. This episode touches on the topic of sexual abuse, please take care while listening.Guest:Sabrina McKenzieAssociate Lecturer in musicPhD candidate in music psychologyUniversity of Melbourne, Melbourne Conservatorium of MusicCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Roi HubermanYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.Music to listen to:Why Trust You - Alice CooperNow I Can Dance - Tina ArenaThis Is Me (Official Audio) — The Greatest Showman Cast"Saying Goodbye" — OndaraMore information:Self-compassion as a predictor of interleukin-6 response to acute psychosocial stressA Systematic Review on Mediation Studies of Self-Compassion and Physical Health Outcomes in Non-Clinical Adult PopulationsExploring the role of music listening in cultivating self-compassionSupport:Lifeline 13 11 14

We've come a long way in how we talk about mental health.But while diagnoses like depression and anxiety can empower people to seek help and support — they also influence how we see ourselves and how others might see us, too.Today, we investigate 'concept creep.' It's the idea that the labels we use to describe mental health are expanding and being applied to an ever-wider array of human behaviours.We look at what's causing this, the impacts it might have (both positive and negative), and what it means for how we understand mental health conditions.This episode first aired in November 2024.Guest:Professor Nick HaslamProfessor of Psychology, University of MelbourneCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarProducer: Rose KerrSenior producer: James BullenSound engineer: Simon BranthwaiteYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.More information:Concept creep: Psychology's expanding concepts of harm and pathology

You've probably experienced intrusive thoughts — bizarre, fleeting, sometimes inappropriate thoughts that cross your mind without warning. Although these can be weird to experience, they're totally normal.But for people with obsessive compulsive disorder these thoughts can become inescapable — leading to worry, compulsions and shame.Today we're talking about OCD, because it's often quite different from the stereotype of handwashing and lining up pencils. It can venture into taboo and dangerous thoughts, from paedophilia to violent harm. So what does living with these unwanted thoughts feel like? And how much can treatment improve OCD symptoms?This episode covers some heavy topics from sexual abuse to suicide. There are also a few swear words. Please take care while listening.Guests:Uma Chatterjee, M.S., MHPSNeuroscience PhD student, University of Wisconsin-MadisonScience communicatorMental health advocateMartin IngleWriter and filmmakerProfessor Vlasios BrakouliasPsychiatristSydney Medical School, Westmead HospitalCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarProducer: Rose KerrSenior Producer: James BullenSound engineer: Timothy JenkinsYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.Support:Lifeline 13 11 14SANE AustraliaARCVic Helpline 1300 269 438More information:You Can't Ask That - OCD episode