Why Self-Hatred Makes No Sense | Matthew Brensilver

Beyond the cliché: listening to your body. Christiane Wolf, MD, PhD is a former physician and internationally known mindfulness and Insight (Vipassana) meditation teacher. She is the author of “Outsmart Your Pain” and the coauthor of “A Clinician’s Guide to Teaching Mindfulness”. She is also a senior teacher at InsightLA in Los Angeles. And in her spare time, she runs ultramarathons. In this episode we talk about: How to develop and hone interoception How to do practices like a body scan — and how helpful it can be for all aspects of life How to shift how we relate to our body The four foundations of mindfulness — one of the crucial discourses of the Buddha  What a healthy relationship to the body looks like  Translating monastic practices to our modern day lives  How to reduce stress and suffering in the body  Indifference vs equanimity / serenity  Helpful questions to ask yourself in cultivating a new relationship with your body  The four sources of reluctance or resistance to exercise  Discipline vs self-compassion  Unpacking the dysfunction among people who overexercise  What we can learn from injury  Paid subscribers of DanHarris.com will have exclusive access to a set of all-new guided meditations, led by friend of the show Cara Lai, customized to accompany each episode of the Get Fit Sanely series. We're super excited to offer a way to help you put the ideas from the episodes into practice. Learn all about it here. Related Episodes: How To Outsmart Your Pain | Christiane Wolf How To Take Care of Your Body Without Losing Your Mind Get Fit Sanely: the podcast playlist Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Behind the scenes of this year’s Get Fit Sanely series with ace producers Eleanor Vassili and Marissa Schneiderman.  Today we’re kicking off the third annual iteration of a very popular series we do, called Get Fit Sanely. It’s all about how to take care of your body without losing your mind. This is a dynamic tension many of us struggle to manage. This is our most ambitious version of Get Fit Sanely. We’re dedicating the whole month of June to the topic, with an incredible array of guests, on everything from gut health to importance of rest to how to operationalize the old cliché around listening to your body. In this episode we talk about: Selecting guests and topics for this year’s iteration of the series  How our producers let curiosity guide their thinking How this year’s episodes build on what we’ve covered in the past Where our producers’ personal stories come into play  And an exciting new component we’re finally able to offer (hint: it’s guided meditations) Paid subscribers of DanHarris.com will have exclusive access to a set of all-new guided meditations, led by friend of the show Cara Lai, customized to accompany each episode of the Get Fit Sanely series. We're super excited to offer a way to help you put the ideas from the episodes into practice. Learn all about it here. Related Episodes: Get Fit Sanely: the podcast playlist The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole Can You Get Fit Without Self-Loathing? | Cara Lai How To Outsmart Your Pain | Christiane Wolf The Science of Longevity | Dr. Peter Attia   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris  

An often overlooked secret to improving your meditation practice. Sebene Selassie, an author and meditation teacher. She writes the popular newsletter remind me to love and her first book is called, You Belong.  Jeff Warren is also an author and meditation teacher. He writes the popular Substack newsletter Home Base and is the coauthor, along with me, of a book called Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. And he is the co-host of the mind/bod adventure pod. Register for Meditation Party at the Omega Institute, Oct 24–26, 2025.   In this episode we talk about: The perks of meditating with friends The importance of friendship in chaotic times  How to have difficult conversations  Authenticity vs wanton oversharing Working with the thorny stuff that can come up in relationships Advice for people pleasers Building meaningful relationships in the age of social media Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Distraction is making you anxious and sleepless. Here’s how to fix it.   Adam Gazzaley, M.D., Ph.D. is the David Dolby Distinguished Professor of Neurology, Physiology and Psychiatry, and Founder & Executive Director of Neuroscape at UCSF. He co-authored the 2016 book “The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World”.    In this episode we talk about: The impact of multitasking on our attention, relationships, emotions, anxiety, and memory The difference between top-down and bottom-up attention What it means to have cognitive control—and some practical tools for restoring your own cognitive control.  Controversial technologies that could eventually help us have a stronger brain The impact of music and rhythm on the mind And how to use technology for your brain’s benefit   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel  

We asked not too long ago in the chat on our Substack community – which you can find at DanHarris.com – about what kinds of things you’d find useful as Friday bonus episodes, and one of the things we heard was: more guided meditations, please. So today, we are happy to oblige with this short meditation that I led, as part of our semi-regular live gatherings of the Renegade Sangha on Substack. Twice a month, paid subscribers are invited to join me, live, for a little guided meditation, then I take your questions. It’s been so much fun to hear from you, and to help you hear from each other.  Today’s guided meditation is taken from our sangha gathering on April 23. It’s super simple and good for both beginners and experienced meditators alike.  If you enjoyed that and would like more opportunities to meditate together, here’s what we’ve got coming up for you in June:  on the podcast, we’re bringing back our series Get Fit Sanely, where we talk about how to take care of your body without losing your mind – you’ll hear about nutrition, exercise, rest, and more, all with a lens of self-compassion and we’re super excited about this: friend of the pod and ace meditation teacher Cara Lai will be creating a month of bespoke meditations, each one tailored to an episode of the podcast, exclusively for paid subscribers at DanHarris.com. This is something we’ve been wanting to offer for a long time and I’m thrilled that we’re finally doing it. Visit DanHarris.com for all the details

This episode explores a compelling Buddhist question: does self-hatred, or self-love, make sense if the self is an illusion? Matthew Brensilver, PhD, is a clinical social worker and experienced teacher of meditation retreats. He also worked at an organization called Mindful Schools, which teaches teachers how to teach meditation.  This episode also explores: How and why to view your anger with skepticism The relationship between self-love and personal ethics What to do if you think you’re a good person but have no interest in changing your behavior to get better How to handle a nagging sense of moral un-justifiability And how Matthew has arrived at a place of relative peace with his own mortality. Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel  

How to beat perfectionism without lowering your standards.   Dr. Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist who will help you calm your anxiety and be your authentic self. She serves on the faculty at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD) and is the author of HOW TO BE ENOUGH: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists and HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety.   In this episode we talk about: The relationship between perfectionism and anxiety The definition of perfectionism–and why the word is actually a misnomer Dr. Hendriksen’s own struggles with perfectionism, and how they manifested physically The difference between healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism Changing your relationship with your inner critic  Shifting from rigid rules to flexibility Keeping high standards while making room for mistakes Overcoming procrastination Navigating social comparison And much more   Related Episodes: Strategies for Social Anxiety | Ellen Hendriksen Ellen Hendriksen, Rising Above Social Anxiety The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross  How To Move Into The Future With Optimism Instead Of Anxiety | Frederik Pferdt   Join Dan’s online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   Additional Resources:   Ellen Hendriksen on Substack  

We’re excited to share with you an episode of the new podcast Proxy, produced by Yowei Shaw. Today: the case of Mic, who feels like he defied his fate and now has no purpose in life. For her new podcast Proxy, Yowei Shaw finds someone uniquely able to help Mic break out of his regret loop. Proxy is a show that investigates niche emotional conundrums through conversations with strangers who have relevant experience. New cases every other Tuesday. You can binge episodes now in the Proxy feed.   

A few ideas for staying sane in insane times, regardless of your political leanings or who you voted for. Related episode: Joseph Goldstein On: Impermanence, Impersonality, And How To Use Mindfulness To Be More Creative Joseph Goldstein’s book of poetry: Dreamscapes of the Mind   Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Plus how to speak up and challenge your own tribe, how to successfully engage with people you disagree with, and more.   Jenara Nerenberg is a journalist and author. Her latest book is called Trust Your Mind: Embracing Nuance in a World of Self-Silencing. She holds degrees from the Harvard School of Public Health and UC Berkeley. She lectures widely on rhetoric, psychology, neurodiversity, sensitivity, innovation and communication.  In this episode we talk about: The phenomenon of groupthink—and its health implications The health implications of self-censoring Vulnerability in the age of social media The role of comedy in pushing back against social norms Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes