199. Comparitis is Expensive

This episode answers a question I get often- Do I coach men? The answer is yes! I am a mom of three young adult men, the sister of two brothers, and a wife. I am surrounded by men.  As an institutional wellness leader for over twenty years, I worked with all comers.  In honor of Father’s Day, Dr. Adam Was, joins me to chat about how coaching, which he came to primarily for help with career decision-making, also helped his family life. He shares the perspective of a physician dad, in a dual-physician household, with three small children, and two dogs.  Coaching helped Adam let go of guilt about working part-time as an academic pediatric anesthesiologist and start taking time for himself. Adam came to coaching as a way to set himself up for success and to optimize his career satisfaction and work-life balance. He was not in distress or burnt out. And it improved his life tremendously. He shares that coaching was not at all what he expected and was so much more helpful than he imagined. Coaching helped increase his patience with his three children under five. It gave him the gift of “of course,” a mantra he uses frequently. It helped him focus on what matters most, improve his communication with his wife, and grow his tolerance for uncertainty. Mindfulness and meditation are key to Adam’s success. At the end of the episode, he shares how and when he practices it for optimal effect.   Send your male colleagues and your spouses my way. It's often harder for men to reach out for coaching and support. They very often need a loving nudge. Consider gifting coaching to your co-parent or significant other for Father’s Day, a birthday, or your anniversary.  Coaching ends up being a gift for the entire family.  If your co-parent or partner isn't ready for their own coaching yet, jump in yourself. When you change, those around you change.  Whether you are in distress and burnt out, under marital stress or parenting overwhelm, or you simply want to optimize, coaching is an incredible tool to change your life and your relationship for the better.  Find out more about coaching. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Join us, and bring a male partner or colleague to Connect in Nature, The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat. It's a coed retreat and great for couples as you can make a date weekend out of it by staying at local nearby inns www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats  *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice. #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach

Do you struggle with family dinners? Would you like to enjoy drama-free mealtimes?  Are your children picky eaters?   Find more peace and presence around the dinner table. Listen to this discussion about how families can gather, cook, and eat healthier together.  Dr. Jaclyn Albin, a med-peds physician at UT Southwestern joins us today. She is the director of the culinary medicine program, an Associate Professor of Internal Medicine and Pediatrics, and practices primary care across the lifespan. She is the founding Associate Program Director for the combined Internal Medicine/Pediatrics Residency Program, a trained in lifestyle medicine and a certified culinary medicine specialist (CCMS). She is on the national advisory board for the CCMS program at Health Meets Food and studies the impact of culinary medicine classes in medical education, patient care, and community settings.  Feeding a family and building a healthy relationship with food is hard. It requires a hands-wide-open mindset as well as presence, acceptance, trust, and patience. Slow down, be fully present, and leave your devices elsewhere.  Share stories and make mealtimes an experience of connection and love Listen to hear more practical strategies for healing your own relationship with food and gathering peacefully to enjoy family mealtimes with less drama. If you happen to be interested in incorporating culinary medicine and lifestyle medicine into your practice, Dr Albin shares many tips and tools for this as well. If you want to experience culinary medicine and lifestyle medicine yourself, join me for Yoga, Coaching, Mindfulness, and Culinary Medicine retreat at Sagrada or Nicasio Creek Farm. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreat-nicasio-creek-farm Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach    

Wishing is not indulgent or fluff. Wishing is powerful, strategic, and fun.  Alexa Fisher is the founder of Wishbeads “the original intention-setting jewelry.”  Her Wishbead bracelets are an integral part of my retreat business. My personal Wishbead bracelets are partly responsible for my big wish (dream) coming to fruition recently.   Wishing is a form of intention setting. As such it releases motivational neurochemicals such as dopamine and acetylcholine. Wishes don't just happen.  They require courage. Courage to let your true desires be seen and to share them with others. When you choose a wish and live into manifesting it, you begin to actively call in what’s needed for your wish to come true.  You connect with people who can help you. Those people connect you with others. You begin to see yourself as someone to whom things like your wishes happen. You grow to believe in yourself and the process. There is no right wish and no right way to wish. Many of us feel guilty about wishing for something we desire. And even more guilty when our wishes come true. Like it might not be allowed or fair to others. That we don’t deserve it. That our wish coming true might make others feel bad. Many people hide when wishes come true.  They minimize the story of how their dreams and wishes happened because they are worried about being judged. Hiding our wishes and dreams helps no one. Hiding when they come true is wasteful. What if others are inspired to take action towards a more aligned authentic and joy-filled life because they witnessed wishes coming true?  What if they choose to pursue their own dreams and wishes because their eyes have been opened to possibility? If you want to get started on wishing your own desires into existence, join me at a retreat. It's the first step out of waiting for things to get better and instead making them better. It's the first step towards your wishes coming true. “An unparalled expereince” “It's worth it and can help shift the trajectory of your life for the better in ways you may never have expected!” “More valuable than I can say. In the one week since the retreat, I have felt and made some big internal and external shifts in my life. I am living and practicing medicine in different ways." "This was a deep and profoundly healing experience.” “This is an investment in your health and that of your loved ones and your career. Invaluable!”   If you can't make a retreat happen yet, coach with me- 1:1 or in a small group www.jessiemahoneymd.com *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach

Dreams are available to all of us but they don’t just happen by wishing, hoping, or luck.  In this episode, Jessie shares how she manifested her dream of owning her own retreat space. She was inspired by others fulfilling their dreams. They helped her know that fulfilling one's dreams is possible. In sharing her journey she hopes to be the person who inspires you to pursue your dreams. How do you manifest a dream? What are important and replicable steps to manifesting a dream? Believe in yourself and the possibility of the dream Set an intention to pursue the dream Be persistent and patient Believe it’s possible Be courageous Trust yourself and the process Become the person who has already fulfilled the dream Accept, allow, and embrace complexity, detours, delays, and fear Get creative Expect overwhelm and self doubt Continue to believe in yourself  Appreciate how far you have come as a person and  the ways that you have set yourself up for success Remember your  problem-solving skills Embrace bumps and self-doubt Get help. Trust your helpers. Practice gratitude for the opportunity, luck, and the support of others What’s your dream?  What do you want to do with your one wild and precious life? What will the world miss out on if you don't?   Thank you for listening to the Mindful Healers Podcast.  Getting to Episode 200 is the manifestation of another dream.  We couldn’t have done it without the support of each and every one of you!   To celebrate and change your life for the better, please come join us at Nicasio Creek Farm. The farm, creek, sunshine, birds, bees, natural light, Mark’s mindful cooking, the cozy fire, and the beauty and magic of West Marin are waiting for you. A better, more easeful, and fulfilled life of your dreams is available to you too. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreat-nicasio-creek-farm If you can't join us in person, coach with Jessie 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice. #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach    

“What do you think is the biggest waste of time?" "Comparing yourself to others," said the mole.” ― Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse Do you compare yourself to others? Feel like you don’t belong or are lesser than?   In groups, do you feel like you are behind or don’t measure up?  In this episode, we discuss the compare and despair mentality and its costs. We hope to help you finally let go of this expensive habit  Our brain thinks comparing ourselves helps us and pushes us forward to work hard and achieve more. More often than not it gets in our way.  Compare and despair leads to shame, frustration, and less growth than we otherwise would have.  We release cortisol, norepinephrine, and experience more stress, less creativity, and more reactivity.   What if we could train our brains to not make comparisons or feeling less our default and instead make self-compassion, curiosity, and intention-setting our default?  In this episode, we share many tools to help you learn to use your brain strategically. Joining a retreat or signing up for 1:1 or small group coaching is strategic. It's the way out of our costly default compare and despair approach. Find out about retreats here: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Find out about coaching here: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/coaching Small group coaching is especially helpful in finally letting go of a compare and despair mindset. https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/communities We are also both available to give talks on any, and all, topics covered in this podcast, and many more as well.  Reach out directly to discuss. https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking https://awakenbreath.org/physician-wellness/    

When you decide to make a pivot as big as leaving your medical practice after 20 years expect scary. It takes time and courage. And, it just might turn out better than you expect. Even if your husband has an unexpected cancer diagnosis right in the middle of your transition. Coaching, mindfulness, and taking a pause helped Dr. Wazeka leave her employed pediatric pulmonary job, navigate her husband’s cancer diagnosis, and send her oldest daughter off to college with grace and equanimity. In this episode, April shares how patience, curiosity, and kindness steadied her while she made big changes. She shares the tools she found most helpful to allow her to let go of her previously narrow and inflexible medical mindset, gift herself permission to pause, and ultimately to live an aligned life. Giving herself permission to take a pause was hard. April has previously never taken any time off except for maternity leave. She went straight through from high school to college to residency to fellowship to being an attending for twenty years. If you are worried that it’s too dangerous or too hard to take a break and/or leave clinical medicine, you are not alone. Our tendencies towards a scarcity mindset, catastrophizing, and focusing on the negative, make this change even harder even when we know our journey with our current role is complete. With regular coaching and a regular mindfulness practice, Dr. Wazeka is now on the other side.  She is living a life she wants to be living rather than moving through her life like she thought she should be living. She now enjoys a more expansive identity as a connected and available mom and wife, a new mindfulness teacher, and a happier and healthier human. April was also a guest on the Mindful Healers Podcast in 2022. In Episode 91, she shares how mindfulness and coaching helped her move through the pandemic as a physician, mom, wife, and daughter with more grace and equanimity.  Listen to that episode here:   https://themindfulhealerspodcast.libsyn.com/91-bettertogether-finding-alignment-with-mindfulness-and-coaching If you want to start living the life you WANT to be living, reach out for mindful coaching. You will be so glad you did. www.jessiemahoneymd.com If you want to support yourself well through a big change, move beyond consuming this podcast and dreaming. April is a steadfast podcast listener. In this episode, she points out, true change only happened for her when she committed to doing the work and invested in herself, her happiness, and the life she wanted. April has been supporting herself with virtual coaching for three years. It is currently preventive care that helps continue to grow, evolve, and live in alignment ongoing. You can also join us in person for a retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats.  Or hire one or both of us to speak or lead a wellness workshop. We also can create team wellness retreats, teach yoga, and/or offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice. #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach #transformationcoach

  Do you feel under-appreciated for your efforts on behalf of your family, your patients, and/or your institutions? Have your expectations of others in expressing their love, thanks, and appreciation been mismatched with what you perceive is "right" or deserved? Listen for tools, strategies, and a framework of understanding to help you move forward with mindfulness and compassion. Feeling not appreciated enough is usually a case of mismatched expectations and beliefs.  We have an idea of what others should do to appreciate us. We also believe that they should know what will make us feel appreciated. We expect others to read our minds and be fair. Your expectations may or may not be reasonable- even if they feel 100 percent reasonable to you. Even if they are reasonable they may or not be feasible or possible. Could you drop your expectations and decide to enjoy the day (and your life) moment by moment exactly as they are? If you are not happy then, choose to stay, choose to keep doing what you are doing - or not. If you decide to stay for now, notice how others show you appreciation, even if it doesn’t look like you think it should. Need help with this? Small group coaching and retreats are the answer. Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in person. www.jessiemahoneymd.com; www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

Have you said “I’m sorry” even though the circumstance wasn’t your fault? Have you started off a conversation or a presentation with “I’m sorry?” Do you say "Sorry I’m running behind", "Sorry for taking up space or time in a group session", "Sorry for crying", "Sorry for not understanding", or "Sorry I am not available"? Listen to understand why you over-apologize and the impact it can have on your life, health, and happiness. Learn about common situations where you don’t need to apologize and mindful and strategic tips to help you stop overapologizing.   What if, instead of apologizing you said: "Thank you for waiting" "I appreciate your patience" "Hope you enjoyed a pause while helped someone else." "I’m curious about.." "I would love to know more about ..." "I wish you felt better." "I wish it was different ."   Listen to learn more tips. When have you apologized where you didn’t need to? Why did you apologize? What were the thoughts, emotions, and body sensations that led to the apology?   Mindful coaching is super helpful to let go of habits such as over-apologizing. Intentional language is a game changer in improving your health, happiness, and the way you feel and move through the world.  We encourage you to enjoy this episode’s mindful moment: Gratitude as an Antidote. Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in-person. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop. Jessie's superpwoer is creating team retreats, teaching yoga, and offering experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, and at conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice.   #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach  

An amusing discussion about mindful decision-making with 18-year-old Liam Mahoney, a high school senior.   In this episode, Liam shares his college decision-making process. He showcases his extremely abundant mindset, his positivity bias, and why he chose to become a UC Berkeley 2028 rather than a UCLA 2028. Liam shares how he made an authentic decision for himself despite conflicting advice from his two brothers and his grandparents. He shares why he didn’t let the opinions of his peers influence his decision. He also shares what parents can do to be helpful to their children and young adults in the decision-making process.   Our discussion also touches on the luck factor, the strategy of having your own back, consulting your future self, connecting with who you want to become, and the value of patience and sitting with a made decision for a while.  We hope you will leave inspired, amused, and better equipped for your next big decision. “Making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.” - Paul Coehlo, The Alchemist *special thanks to Dr. Monica Sood for sharing this quote right before we recorded this episode. ---------- Move beyond consuming this amazing podcast. True change happens when you work with us - virtually and/or in-person. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences. www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast www.awakenbreath.org  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice. #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach #howtochooseacollege #berkeley2028  

Words of wisdom from a professional pivoter.  In today's episode, we delve into the transformative power of pivoting in both life and career. Dr. Jillian shares strategies for embracing change, giving yourself permission, and learning to put your opinion above the opinion of others.  Trigger warning: Blunt mentions of suicide and eating disorders occur in this episode.  Giving yourself permission to pivot is hard. Societal pressures often lead us astray from what truly matters. We spend a lot of time in our lives worrying about crap that doesn't actually matter. Ask yourself these questions: Are my current actions aligned with my current goals and aspirations? Am I open to embracing change, or do I tend to resist it? What pivotal moments have I experienced in my own life or career and what would I do differently? Career paths are rarely linear, and sometimes it's necessary to pivot to pursue new passions or align with our changing priorities. In medicine, we are told that pivoting is equal to failure. What if it is actually success? We hope you enjoy this special guest episode.  Find more about Dr. Jillian Rigert at www.jillianrigertcoaching.com. https://www.youtube.com/@JillianRigertDMDMD https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillian-rigert/ Listen to Jessie as a guest on Dr. Jillian's YouTube channel A Life True to You here.  We discuss Sustainable Well-being. https://www.youtube.com/@JillianRigertDMDMD https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillian-rigert/ Move beyond consuming stories and information. True change happens when you do the work - virtually and/or in-person. Coach with Jessie - 1:1, in topic-focused small groups, or at a retreat. www.jessiemahoneymd.com Work with both of us in person at The Mindful Healers Annual Retreat www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Hire one or both of us to speak or lead a workshop on any topic covered in the Mindful Healers Podcast. We also create team retreats, teach yoga, and offer experiential mindfulness for teams, groups, grand rounds, institutions, and conferences.  www.awakenbreath.org , www.jessiemahoneymd.com/speaking *Nothing shared in the Mindful Healers Podcast is medical advice. #physicianwellness #mindfulnesscoach #pauseandpresence #physiciancoach #burnout