148. Sarah #47: Trauma Is the Gift That Keeps On Giving

Doug and Kenzie continue to process thoughts and feelings after the LA fires that destroyed Doug’s house and devastated his neighborhood of Altadena. After a recent visit to the old neighborhood, a lot of emotion came up about the landscape, nature, and support in the community. Kenzie notes it's the dose that makes the poison because anything in the right or wrong amount can be really good or harmful for you. Applying this to therapy: the emotion is always inside, it’s the trigger that sets it off. Our hosts get existential and psychological – I mean, this is a therapy podcast, right? Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

Doug and Kenzie are back after the catastrophic LA fires that destroyed the YMB studio along with Doug’s house and entire neighborhood of Altadena. We are all safe… Meredith and her sister were evacuated from the Palisades, but their houses were spared. Kenzie was evacuated and her home is untouched. Doug and his sister were evacuated from Altadena and they both lost their houses in the fire.   For those impacted by the tragedy, our lives are forever changed. We will be processing the devastating loss around us for quite some time, and at YMB we are doing our best to move forward by sharing that process with you. Doug’s home was also home to the YMB recording room including our gear and memory cards. But his voice and resilience are here for you. This episode focuses on processing loss and rebuilding after such a traumatic event. We will temporarily move away from client sessions and breakdowns while we bring you this process in real time. We are grateful for the support of our community and we appreciate your understanding, compassion, and kindness as we rebuild.  Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

Drew is experiencing the oxytocin honeymoon feeling with his partner as they are now brand new parents. He acknowledges the feelings as well as the triggers for how he was parented. Doug challenges Drew to think through his ideas and ideals of what it means to be “the man of the house.” Drew may have baby brain, but he is expressing his emotions well. He is able to sit with them and process them in session with Doug.  Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage  Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

Doug and Kenzie go back in time to Sarah’s 2nd session. The breakdown for this episode happens in real time throughout the session. Sarah begins to tell some of her story about growing up in a cult. Doug acknowledges her strength and resilience in the “survival” of her experiences while paving the way to work towards the “thrival” of her life going forward. We explore Sarah’s parenting style and Doug hints at the parallel of how Sarah can heal through re-parenting herself.   Doug’s Group Therapy Practice  YMB Webpage  Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

Sarah is confronted with her past trauma history after learning that a parent at her child’s school knows about Sarah's upbringing in a cult. She navigates a conversation to clear the air because that parent is reluctant to allow her child over to Sarah’s rumored “cult house.” Doug acknowledges that Sarah handled the situation without going into “justice warrior” mode, even though her emotions were triggered. Sarah says that she’s glad to have had that conversation with a year of therapy under her belt. She’s come a long way and is now embracing being a trauma survivor – without feeling like a victim. Because, “How can you victimize somebody for being victimized?” Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

Doug and Kenzie go back in time to Drew’s first therapy session - and their breakdown happens in real time throughout the session. They have the benefit of listening to him then while knowing where he is now in his therapeutic treatment and progress years later. You can listen along with them to this initial meeting as Drew shares some of his history and Doug lays the groundwork for their future work. We hear the beginnings of some of the analogies that Drew and Doug use throughout his journey in therapy.  Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage  Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

Join us for a personal and open conversation with two very special guests: actress and comedian, Maria Bamford, and podcast host extraordinaire, Georgia Hardstark. These amazing women, whose memoirs have each reached the New York Times bestsellers list, chat with Doug and Kenzie in this intimate and vulnerable episode. They discuss their perspectives and experiences as public figures being authentic, transparent, and outspoken about mental health and mental illness.  Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok Maria Bamford is an actress, comedian, and the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult. She is the star of four hour-long standup specials and the surreal, semi-autobiographical, Lady Dynamite, about a comedian who suffers a nervous breakdown. Georgia Hardstark is the co-host of the true crime-comedy podcast, My Favorite Murder, and the co-founder of the Exactly Right Podcast Network. She and her co-host, Karen Kilgariff, wrote a New York Times bestselling joint memoir, Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered: The Definitive How-to Guide. 

Doug and Kenzie go back in time to Sarah’s first therapy session - and their breakdown happens in real time throughout the session. They have the benefit of listening to her then while knowing where she is now in her therapeutic treatment and progress one year later. You can listen along with them to this initial meeting as Sarah shares some of her history and Doug lays the groundwork for their future work. Sarah acknowledges that she’s spent a lifetime compartmentalizing, but doesn’t truly have a handle on everything. We hear the beginnings of some of the analogies that Sarah and Doug use throughout her journey in therapy.  Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

We’re back from our summer break, and getting right back into it with Drew and his brand new baby. We hear a lot in this session that Drew needs to dump out. He is feeling like he’s not enough - as a dad, a partner, and a person not taking care of his own needs. Drew struggles to find balance and expresses feeling uncomfortable in the extremely lukewarm middle. He says he’s done himself dirty over the last week because he let his fears outweigh his courage. He isn’t loving how he’s been present in moments, which is magnified now with a newborn. Being a new dad also helps Drew draw a link to how he was parented by his mom. Doug helps him reevaluate what being effective means. Drew acknowledges that he isn’t free falling the way he used to, and that he is happy to unload in therapy.  Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok

Doug throws a little science and neural linguistic programming at Kenzie to demonstrate how using certain language in session with clients can help in their pursuit of change. Kenzie and Doug highlight Sarah’s progress as it’s becoming more natural and instinctive for her to ask for help when she needs it. Sarah acknowledges the evolution of her relationship to control and boundaries. She continues to explore the idea from her last session about the rigidity of her religion of data. Sarah feels progress, and she still feels stress and anxiety, as she notes, “I don’t feel unrelaxed.” Doug introduces Spoon Theory to help understand our relationship to the energy and bandwidth we have in a given day.  Doug’s Group Therapy Practice YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media:  YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok Mentioned in this Episode:  Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino