Why Kids Get Obsessed—And Why It's a Good Thing

Amy and Margaret discuss why kids become intensely obsessed with the things they love—whether it’s dinosaurs, Pokémon, sharks, or Spider-Man—and how those fascinations manifest throughout their childhoods. They explore the developmental benefits of "intense interests," from mastery and comfort to confidence and identity. They break down when an obsession is typical and when it may need gentle guidance. Finally, they discuss how to connect with kids through their intense interests—and then use them as bridges to broaden kids' horizons. Correction! Comedian Sasha Baron-Cohen and psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen are neither siblings (as Amy claims in the episode nor uncle/nephew (as Margaret believed); they are first cousins. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Winnicott, D. W. for The International Journal of Psychoanalysis: Transitional objects and transitional phenomena; a study of the first not-me possession Dr. Judy De Loache et al for Developmental Psychology: ⁠Planes, Trains, Automobiles—and Tea Sets: Extremely Intense Interests in Very Young Children⁠ Lisa Joseph et al for Autism Research: Repetitive behavior and restricted interests in young children with autism: comparisons with controls and stability over 2 years. Our episode "Dinosaurs and Trains and Superheroes and Nerf Guns: Boy Obsessions" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. intense interests in children, transitional objects, child psychology, special interests autism, supporting kids interests, mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're so glad to be talking to ⁠Kendra Adachi⁠ again this week. Kendra is the host of the⁠ Lazy Genius Podcast⁠ and the two-time New York Times bestselling author of The Lazy Genius Way and The Lazy Genius Kitchen. In this interview, we discuss what Kendra calls "compassionate time management" and her newest book, ⁠The PLAN: Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius.⁠ Kendra shares insights on productivity, pivoting in the face of unexpected life events, and the pitfalls of traditional time management. "The Plan" emphasizes a more holistic and compassionate approach geared towards women's realities. Its key principles include starting from where you are, accessing softness, and making small adjustments. We are so here for it! Here's where you can find Kendra: https://thelazygeniuscollective.com The Lazy Genius Podcast Buy THE PLAN: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593727935 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Content note: This episode discusses complications of pregnancy, including pregnancy loss and maternal death. Amy and Margaret sit down with journalist and author Irin Carmon to discuss her new book, UNBEARABLE: Five Women and the Perils of Pregnancy in America. Through research and deep reporting, Carmon exposes the complicated reality of being pregnant in today's America. Whether a pregnancy is wanted or unwanted, Carmon reveals how bias, systemic failures, secrecy and shame, and our changing policies have had profound effects on that experience and on maternal health. They discuss: The historical roots of reproductive medicine Why women across every belief system are affected by criminalization, neglect, and medical bias The myth of the “perfect pregnancy” and how silence around childbirth harms all mothers The complicated consequences of abortion bans and restrictions on reproductive health care Why maternal care should center respect of women’s autonomy, dignity, and humanity Carmon offers not just critique, but hope, showing how individual courage and systemic change can coexist. Here's where you can find Irin: https://irincarmon.com @irincarmon on IG @irin on X Buy UNBEARABLE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668032602 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you.Irin Carmon interview, Unbearable book, pregnancy in America, maternal health crisis, criminalization of miscarriage, abortion bans impact, reproductive health care, women’s autonomy, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sharing an episode of the new podcast So Your Parents Are Old. Journalist Vanessa Grigoriadis talks to friends, experts, and celebrities about the chaos of dealing with aging parents. From Medicaid nightmares to emotional meltdowns in storage units, it’s a brutally honest, often hilarious look at one of life’s most disorienting stages. Come for the catharsis, stay for the gallows humor and unfiltered conversations. Find more episodes of So Your Parents Are Old at https://link.mgln.ai/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How are our kids actually spending their time — and is it aligned with what we value for our families' lives and for our children's well-being? This week, Amy and Margaret discuss: How sleep too often loses out to homework and activities Time tracking and the sobering truth it can show about how many hours a week our kids actually spend on screens How outdoor time and free play, too often in short supply, affects creativity, independence, and self-regulation Strategies for families to audit time, realign priorities, and invite kids into decision-making It's worth the effort to track how our time is actually spent. As Annie Dillard said: “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” Here are links to some of the resources we mention in the episode: Gretchen Livingston for Pew Research Center: The way U.S. teens spend their time is changing, but differences between boys and girls persist Cleveland Clinic: How Much Sleep Kids Need: Recommended Hours by Age Dahl KL, et. al: Time Playing Outdoors Among Children Aged 3-5 Years: National Survey of Children's Health, 2021. Yeshe Colliver et. al for Early Childhood Research Quarterly: Free play predicts self-regulation years later: Longitudinal evidence from a large Australian sample of toddlers and preschoolers Our Fresh Take with Christina Martin on How Children Learn Through Play Our Fresh Take with Lenore Skenazy, author of FREE-RANGE KIDS Our Fresh Take with Ginny Yurich, host of the 1000 Hours Outside podcast Our Fresh Take with Laura Vanderkam, time-tracking expert Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. How kids spend time, kids and screen time, parenting priorities, unstructured play, outdoor play for kids, kids and sleep needs, family time management, limiting screen time, Annie Dillard quote parenting, homework vs sleep, raising independent kids, parenting podcast, What Fresh Hell episode, time tracking for families, free play benefits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Amazon One Medical. Ever notice how kids only seem to get rashes in the middle of the night? Or get pinkeye only while you’re on vacation? It’s what we like to call a typical “mom worst”—and here comes a great new solution: Amazon One Medical Pay-Per-Visit is now offering trusted care through telehealth visits for families with kids ages 2-11. No insurance required, no waiting rooms, no hassle! In this episode we speak to Dr. Natasha Bhuyan—mom, practicing family physician, and National Medical Director at Amazon One Medical. Dr. Bhuyan is responsible for driving clinical innovation at One Medical, as well as growth, strategic partnerships, care model design, and quality primary care. Dr. Bhuyan’s health and wellness commentary has appeared in outlets such as The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, HuffPost, ABC News, Prevention, Well+Good, and NBC News. Dr. Bhuyan explains how Amazon One Medical Pay Per Visit allows parent things like pink eye, lice, and EpiPen prescription renewals. Even at night, even on the weekend. Solved it! Find out more: health.amazon.com/children. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Laura Vanderkam⁠ is the author of several time management books, including the just-out ⁠"Tranquility by Tuesday: 9 Ways to Calm the Chaos and Make Time for What Matters."⁠ She hosts the every-weekday-morning podcast "Before Breakfast" and also co-hosts "Best of Both Worlds" with Sarah Hart-Unger. She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and five children. Laura explains: How to create a "resilient" schedule How to start small with prioritizing the more important things What keeps people from taking ownership of their time Starting small is the key, Laura says, by investigating how you currently spend your time and using that information as a launch point to move towards a more "resilient" schedule. Here's where you can find Laura: https://lauravanderkam.com @lvanderkam on Twitter and IG @lauravanderkamauthor on FB Buy Laura's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593419007 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, productivity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy and Margaret speak with Kate Rope, award-winning journalist and author of STRONG AS A GIRL: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up For, and Take Care of Themselves. Together, they unpack the unique challenges and opportunities facing today’s girls—from body image and social media to perfectionism, mental health, and the pressure to be “kind” at their own expense. Kate shares practical strategies for raising confident, resilient daughters who trust their inner voice, understand consent, honor their needs, and navigate a world filled with mixed messages. She offers insights on early messaging around appearance, the rise of eating disorders, how to parent from hope—not fear—and why making mistakes (and repairing them) is one of parenting’s greatest strengths. Here's where you can find Kate: https://katerope.com @kateropewriter on IG https://katerope.substack.com Buy STRONG AS A GIRL: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250904775 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you. Raising strong girls, parenting daughters, Kate Rope interview, Strong As a Girl book, girls and body image, eating disorder awareness in teens, parenting from hope not fear, empowering young girls, girls and social media impact, teaching girls self-advocacy, mental health for teen girls, parenting girls through anxiety, raising confident daughters, consent and girls, developmental challenges in girls, girls and perfectionism, resilience in girls, parenting advice for mothers of girls, supporting girls’ self-esteem, raising girls in the modern world Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Amy and Margaret explore the crucial distinction between stress and burnout—two experiences that often blur together in the chaos of parenting, but which are very different in presentation and the attention they require. Stress might be unavoidable, but it can also be motivational and lead to further growth. But when stress becomes constant and unresolved, it turns into burnout: exhaustion, disconnection, cynicism, and the feeling that nothing you do matters. Together, they discuss what burnout looks like physically and emotionally, how to recognize when you’ve crossed that line, and the small, practical things you can do to restore yourself. Whether you’re running on fumes, feeling detached, or just tired of hearing “self-care” as a solution, this episode offers perspective, empathy, and evidence-based tools to help you reset. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: ⁠BURNOUT⁠ by Emily and Amelia Nagoski https://burnoutglobal.com/the-author Suntsova Y.S.: ⁠“Irrational attitudes in thinking and maternal emotional burnout.”⁠ Education & Pedagogy Journal (2023). We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you.burnout, stress, parental burnout, motherhood, mom life, stress management, emotional exhaustion, self-care for moms, mental health, mom burnout recovery, burnout prevention, Emily Nagoski, Amelia Nagoski, stress cycle, parenting podcast, What Fresh Hell podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There is no magic formula to making the perfect decision every time, but there are philosophical principles, or "razors," you can use to pare down your options and see your problem more clearly. These razors can cut through the clutter of complexity and help us see the forest for the trees. And while they weren't designed with parents in mind, they can come in pretty handy! Starting with the most famous, Occam’s Razor, we discuss how paring away unlikely hypotheticals leads to the most accurate solutions. Next, we delve into Hanlon’s Razor, which reminds us to avoid attributing malicious intent when there’s a simpler explanation. This principle can help us avoid unnecessary conflict and foster understanding, especially in relationships. Then we discuss Hitchens’ Razor, which places the burden of proof on the person making the claim. This can be a valuable tool for evaluating arguments and avoiding baseless assertions. We also explore Chesterton’s Fence, which encourages us to be cautious about changing things without understanding their original purpose. But that's not all. Listen to the episode to hear the rest, and let us know your own rules for clearer thinking! Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Itamar Shatz for Effectiviology: ⁠"Hanlon’s Razor: Never Attribute to Malice That Which is Adequately Explained by Stupidity"⁠ Farnam Street blog: ⁠Chesterton’s Fence: A Lesson in Thinking⁠ Reallemon for Medium: ⁠Hitchens’s Razor and its Place in Debate⁠ Kendra Cherry for Verywell ⁠Mind: How the Hawthorne Effect Works⁠ ⁠Our episode on decision fatigue⁠ Go to our Facebook group and tell us what rules and razors you live by! ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, decision-making, decision fatigue, productivity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices