Fresh Take: Nicholas Epley on Why Talking to Strangers Can Make Us Happier

Why do we avoid small opportunities for connection with strangers, even when humans are wired for that very connection? Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley, author of the new book A LITTLE MORE SOCIAL, explains why modern life leaves so many people feeling disconnected—and how small social choices can dramatically improve our well-being. Nick explains the science behind loneliness, why humans are biologically wired for connection, and how our fear of awkwardness keeps us from reaching out to others. From conversations with strangers on the subway to helping kids build social confidence, this episode explores how meaningful relationships are created through everyday interactions. The conversation covers: Why people underestimate how much others want connection too How smartphones, remote work, and modern convenience reduce social interaction Why talking to strangers often goes better than we expect The importance of modeling curiosity and openness for children Why meaningful conversations matter more than surface-level similarities How to become “a little more social” through small daily habits Here's where you can find Nick: www.nicholasepley.com Buy A LITTLE MORE SOCIAL: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593319543 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we're talking about how modern teen "dating" has changed—starting with the word itself (it's called "talking" or "hanging out" these days), where today's teens are meeting romantic partners, and how they tend to communicate. We also explain how and why conversations about boundaries, consent, self-worth, and emotional safety should begin earlier than you might think. We also discuss: Why today’s teens are dating later but navigating more online pressure How to encourage to kids maintain other friendships while dating What to do when you dislike your child’s romantic partner Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Emily Baumgaertner Nunn for the NYT: A Predictor of a Good Social Life? Your Parents. Children's Hospital of Richmond at VCU blog: Is your teen ready to date? 6 things to think about Rachel Ehmke for Child Mind Institute: Teens and Romantic Relationships Check out our Fresh Take with Ash Brandin, the Gamer Educator, who has great tips on keeping kids safe online! What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes on discerning what we need as moms, and then asking for it confidently. Most of us know about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the pyramid pattern through which human needs and motivations generally move upward. We can't worry about what's at the upper levels of the pyramid until and unless the more basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid– food, warmth, safety– are met first. Leslie Forde, founder of ⁠Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs⁠, has rethought that pyramid for the way we live our lives as mothers. There's a reason there's not enough bandwidth in our lives for fun and connection and self-actualization. Mom’s Hierarchy of Needs provides moms with products, research and community to reclaim time from their never-done to-do lists. In this episode, Leslie explains: Why mom's hierarchy of needs is a little different than Maslow's When and why your hierarchy of needs might shift How to prioritize your career, healthy relationships, and self-care in your own hierarchy Leslie says that it's important to realize your health and wellbeing is equal in importance to your children's health and wellbeing, and once you internalize that, you can start to make room for your own needs without feeling guilty or frivolous. Here's where you can find Leslie: Facebook: @MOMSHIERARCHYOFNEEDS Twitter: @MOMSHIERARCHY IG: @MOMSHIERARCHYOF_NEEDS ⁠Leslie's TimeCheck app⁠ ⁠https://momshierarchyofneeds.com/⁠ Our episode ⁠"Isn't This Supposed to Be More Fun?"⁠ Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month, you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events. What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is social media a good thing for isolated mothers? Or does it just give us more to worry about? Margaret talks with Rachael Shepard-Ohta and Caitlin Wilder, hosts of the podcast You’re So Right, about parenting in the age of Instagram, postpartum mental health, identity outside motherhood, and why parenting advice can feel both helpful and impossible at the same time. Rachael, a former special education teacher and infant parent mental health specialist, and Caitlin, a full spectrum doula and former Bravo producer, explain how they built their podcast as a space for moms to feel less alone. They discuss: Why modern motherhood feels so performative online The pressure to either “love every moment” or be a “hot mess mom” Why nuance in motherhood conversations matters Here's where you can find Rachael and Caitlin: Listen to "You're So Right" wherever you get your podcasts @youresorightpod, @heysleepybaby, and @wilderbeginnings on IG What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're often told that the American style of parenting is inferior—that we're doing it all wrong compared to, say, a laissez-faire Parisian whose kids eat whatever is served. But is it our too intense/ too lax/ too snack-heavy parenting style that is making us (and our kids) so stressed? Or is it where we're doing that parenting? In this episode, we explore the forces shaping parenting in America today, and the ways in which other countries offer parents more support. From the pressure to “do it all” to the lack of community support, we examine how our American struggles may be rooted in American ideals. There's no doubt cultural expectations can shape our parenting decisions, leading to the "intensive parenting" that's so easy for others to criticize. But there's plenty about our circumstances as American parents that makes things harder. Our friend Janelle Hanchett (whose writing inspired this episode) was exactly right when she wrote: "As much as we may in the US give lip-service to universal healthcare, parental leave, labor rights, and childcare subsidies as key tenets of good parenting, just below these assertions is the implication that if American parents simply tried harder, they would not be so stressed and they would parent better. The narrative bombards American parents relentlessly: Others do it better because they are culturally superior. They are not better people. They live in societies with better policies." Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Jannelle Hanchett on Substack: They aren't better parents because they're culturally superior Claire Cain Miller for the NYT: Today’s Parents: ‘Exhausted, Burned Out and Perpetually Behind’ Reddit/attachmentparenting: Thoughts on “Bringing Up Bébé” book? Kate Cray for The Atlantic: Parenting in America Keeps Getting More Intensive Kate Juilan for The Atlantic: What Happened to American Childhood? Joe Pinsker for The Atlantic: ‘Intensive’ Parenting Is Now the Norm in America Patrick Ishizuka for Social Forces journal: Social Class, Gender, and Contemporary Parenting Standards in the United States: Evidence from a National Survey Experiment Yu-Chin Her for Population Research and Policy Review: Having Fun or Having Kids? Leisure Aspirations and Attitudes Toward Parenthood in Europe Susan Kelley for The Cornell Chronicle: Hands-on, intensive parenting is best, most parents say What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes about the joys and the challenges that come with raising kids with differences and disabilities. Olivia Martinez-Hauge is a marriage and family therapist specializing in the treatment of families, couples, and individuals who are caregiving for children or adults with neurodiversity. She is also a licensed occupational therapist with over two decades of experience helping children and their families. She is also a mother of three children, two with neurodiversity. In this "Fresh Take" interview, Olivia explains the grief and isolation that might come with special needs parenting her own journey moving past those emotions by parenting "from a place of present" the team of support that a parent of a special needs child needs how we can change our friend groups, schools, and societies to be more supportive of families with children who have special needs Whether you're a parent of a special needs or neurodiverse child, or just want to be a better friend to someone who is, you'll learn so much from this interview. Find out more about Olivia and her work at The Center for Connection and Neurodiversity here: https://www.thecenterforconnection.org/ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why does modern parenting feel so difficult? If a chimpanzee knows what to do without reading a hundred parenting books, why doesn't it just come naturally? Science journalist and author Elizabeth Preston is the author of The Creatures' Guide to Caring: How Animal Parents Teach Us That Humans Were Born to Care. Drawing from animal behavior, evolutionary biology, and neuroscience, this book explains why studying the parenting of every species from poison frogs to bonobos, from rats to birds, can remind us how human parenting is supposed to work—and how parental anxiety may result from the belief we were ever supposed to do things differently. In this episode, we discuss: Why humans are “cooperative breeders” Why maternal anxiety and hypervigilance is an evolutionary advantage, not a personal failure The truth about “mom brain” and what actually happens to the brain during pregnancy Why fathers and non-biological caregivers are equally capable of deep caregiving The role of alloparenting and why kids benefit from many trusted adults Why caregiving is central to what makes us human Here's where you can find Elizabeth: https://elizabethgpreston.com/ @by.elizabeth.preston on IG https://elizabethgpreston.substack.com/ Buy THE CREATURES' GUIDE TO CARING: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593657102 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do you get kids to help out—ever, at all—without default resistance that makes it feel like it's not worth the trouble of your having asked? Kids *should* contribute to their families' lives without their parents resorting to nagging or threats. Kids in other cultures, we are told, participate willingly and fully. Why does this seem so hard for so many of us? We discuss: Whether "chores" framing is part of the problem How gender roles shape the expectations of who's helping Whether they have to like participating for it to matter Why we seem to find this harder than our parents did Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Susan Newman for Psychology Today: Raising Baby Hunter-Gatherer Style Jennifer Katzenstein for Johns Hopkins Medicine Wellness and Prevention blog: How to Get Your Kids to Do Chores Reem Raouda for CNBC Make It: I’ve studied over 200 kids—parents who have an easy time getting their children to listen never use these 5 ‘toxic’ phrases Amy Sutherland for the NYT: What Shamu Taught Me About a Healthy Marriage Frank Bruni for the NYT: Tolstoy and Miss Daisy Deborah Gilboa: GET THE BEHAVIOR YOU WANT...WITHOUT BEING THE PARENT YOU HATE! Our Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff, author of HUNT, GATHER, PARENT Subscribe to our newsletter here! What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This Deep Dive series revisits some of our past episodes about the joys and the challenges that come with raising kids with differences and disabilities. What if we're looking at autism in the wrong way? Dr. Lynn Koegel, co-author of ⁠Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism⁠, explains how to engage with the strengths in kids with autism rather than focusing on what they're lacking. ⁠Dr. Lynn Koegel⁠ is a clinical professor at the Stanford School of Medicine. She and her husband developed Pivotal Response Treatment which focuses on motivation. She has been supporting autistic individuals for more than 40 years. Dr. Koegel and Margaret discuss: Why we're focusing on the wrong things when we assess kids with autism The power of peer support Connecting authentically with kids with autism Dr. Koegel explains that professionals are often trained to look at what's "wrong" with children with autism rather than what's right. It helps to look at the differences in children with autism, as Margaret likes to say, as morally neutral. Here's where you can find Lynn: ⁠autismPRThelp.com⁠ ⁠@lynn.koegel on Facebook⁠ ⁠hidden-brilliance.org⁠ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Are women really better at all the things we do? Or are we just used to doing more? Amy talks with sociologist and author Leah Ruppanner, author of the new book DRAINED, about her definition of the "mental load" and why so many women feel constantly overwhelmed. Leah defines the mental load as much more than keeping track of tasks. It’s deeply emotional work tied to caring for others, anticipating needs, and managing relationships. In this interview Leah breaks down the different types of mental load, from organizing daily life to providing emotional support, maintaining relationships, creating special moments for families, and supporting everyone else’s goals. While many partners contribute in visible ways, much of this broader, invisible work still falls to women. Leah also shares a practical framework for evaluating your mental load: understanding where your energy is going, who you’re carrying, and what you can delegate, drop, or rebalance. When reducing the load isn’t possible, rest and recovery become essential. Think of yourself as the family MVP. This episode is a reminder that the mental load is real, complex, and worth examining—and that making it visible is the first step toward meaningful change. Here's where you can find Leah: @prof.leahruppanner on Instagram, TikTok The Miss Perceived Podcast https://www.leahruppanner.com Buy DRAINED: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593850909 What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices