DEEP DIVE: Ericka Sóuter on How to Have a Kid and a Life

Amy sits down with Trevor Hanson, coach and founder of The Art of Healing and the Secure Self Club, to unpack the power of attachment theory and how it shapes our relationships. Trevor explains the differences between secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment styles—and why understanding your patterns can transform the way you love, communicate, and connect. Trevor shares practical tools for breaking free from people-pleasing, over-apologizing, and shutting down, including his "TEMPO" framework for mapping your attachment cycle. You’ll learn how self-compassion and daily “attachment skills” can help you create the emotional safety you’ve been missing and build healthier, more connected relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why you get defensive, struggle with conflict, or repeat the same painful patterns in love, this conversation will give you both clarity and hope. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: What attachment theory is and how it shapes your relationships Why most relationship conflict comes from insecurity Practical strategies to move from anxious attachment to secure connection Here's where you can find Trevor: Follow Trevor on Instagram: @theartofhealingbytrevor artofhealingbytrevor.com Trevor's free seminar From Anxious to Secure The Gottman Institute: The Anger Iceberg We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, productivity, attachment theory, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, secure attachment, attachment styles in relationships, healing attachment wounds, relationship communication skills, people pleasing and boundaries, overcoming fear of abandonment, self-compassion in relationships, Secure Self Club, Trevor Hanson coach, Art of Healing by Trevor, emotional regulation in conflict, breaking negative relationship cycles Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's what you've all been waiting for: Even More Husband Crimes, Part Two. This episode's charges include: napping on Mother's Day seasoning food like he's on a cooking show booking weeklong holidays to the in-laws' house Book 'em, Dano. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, spouse, partner, marriage, co-parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ericka Sóuter has over 20 years of journalism experience and is a regular contributor on Good Morning America and other national broadcast outlets. Ericka speaks to parents across the country about the issues, controversies, and trends most affecting families today. She's also the author of ⁠How to Have a Kid and Life: a Survival Guide.⁠ In this episode, Ericka and Margaret discuss: The greatest predictor of kids' socioemotional wellbeing The six questions you should ask yourself every year The "mom gene" Here's where to find Ericka: @erickasouter on IG and X @soundstrue on IG Order HOW TO HAVE A KID AND A LIFE here: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683644873 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH ⁠⁠ invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, work life balance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy and Margaret sit down with sociologist and author Allison Daminger to unpack the cognitive labor many of us fail to recognize in our families' daily lives— what's come to be known as the "mental load." In her new book WHAT'S ON HER MIND: The Mental Workload of Family Life, Allison unpacks her years of research to explain how cognitive labor—anticipating needs, planning, decision-making, and follow-up—shapes family dynamics and falls disproportionately on women. Allison explains why this imbalance persists, how gender socialization influences our roles at home, and what couples can do to shift from default patterns to intentional choices. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: What “cognitive labor” really is and why it matters Why moms carry the mental load by default How personality and gender norms shape family responsibilities The differences in how queer and straight couples divide mental work The impact of unequal cognitive labor on stress, leisure, and opportunity Practical steps toward more balanced, intentional partnerships Here's where you can find Allison: Buy WHAT'S ON HER MIND: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780691245386 Allison’s Substack: Daminger Dispatch Allison’s website: allisondaminger.com We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH invisible workload, default parent, household equity, household equality, gender household equality, gender household equity, mental load, cognitive load, cognitive labor, emotional labor, second shift, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Right now your kid doesn't like you. At all. What is really going on? And how can we respond without losing our cool, even when our feelings are genuinely hurt? In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: Why kids say “I hate you” (and why it’s rarely about you) How to handle boundary-testing without escalating conflict The importance of letting kids push against limits... while holding firm to those limits Keeping connection strong during high-conflict moments Balancing correction with genuine positive interactions Here are some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Raising Teens Today blog: Help...My Teenager Hates Me and It's Breaking My Heart Ellen Himelfarb for Today's Parent: An Age-By-Age Guide To Dealing With “I Hate You”https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3574772/ Regina Sullivan and Elizabeth Norton Lasley for Cerebrum Journal: Fear in Love: Attachment, Abuse, and the Developing Brain We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Parenting Podcast, Parenting Challenges, Raising Kids, Parenting Tips, Parenting Struggles, Parenting Support, Parent Child Relationship, Emotional Parenting, Mental Health For Parents, Parenting Emotions, Family Wellness, Parenting Anxiety, When Kids Hate You, Difficult Parenting, Parenting Conflicts, Parenting Struggles Real Talk, Parenting Honesty, Parenting Life, Mom Life, Dad Life, Family Dynamics, Parenting Community, Parenting Podcast Life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we help our kids succeed in school without becoming the dreaded "snowplow" parents? Here are some parenting tips for advocating for your child at school when necessary, while also empowering our kids to navigate their own learning. Amy and Margaret discuss: How school environments have changed in the last few decades Best practices for helping kids of different ages manage homework How to start a productive conversation with your child's educators about concerns you may have Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:  Jenny Anderson for TIME Magazine: ⁠"Many American Parents Have No Idea How Their Kids Are Doing in School"⁠ Carrie Bauer, et. al, for Slate: ⁠Help Me Help My Kid⁠ Libby Stanford for Education Week: ⁠"Does Parent Involvement Really Help Students? Here’s What the Research Says"⁠ U.S. Department of Education: ⁠"Raise the Bar: Resources for Parents and Families"⁠ Cara Goodwin for KQED's Mind/Shift: ⁠"How important is homework, and how much should parents help?"⁠ ⁠See our interview with Jennifer Breheny Wallace⁠ - author of ⁠Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic — and What We Can Do About It⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, academic achievement, school achievement, homework Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Toddler meltdowns, stroller mayhem, ear infections. Doesn't that sound so relaxing? In this listener-sourced episode, moms everywhere unleash frustration over the "monsters" who have made their vacations difficult - nay, impossible. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, inclusive, inclusivity , vacation, family vacation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Amy and Margaret dive deep into the concept of radical acceptance—what it is, what it isn’t, and how it can transform your approach to parenting, relationships, and life’s toughest moments. From the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer to Buddhist teachings about the “second arrow,” the hosts unpack how accepting reality (without judgment or resistance) can help you move forward, even when things are hard. In This Episode: What is radical acceptance? (Hint: It’s not denial or resignation!) The “second arrow” metaphor: why our reactions often cause more suffering than the original pain How radical acceptance helps parents deal with shame, guilt, and the pressure to “fix” everything Real-life examples: from parenting challenges to personal setbacks Actionable steps: mindfulness, self-compassion, and telling yourself the truth Why acceptance doesn’t mean giving up—it’s the first step to wise action Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Arlin Cuncic for VeryWell Mind: How to Embrace Radical Acceptance Tara Brach: The Wise Heart of Radical Acceptance Tara Brach for Counseling Center Group: Embrace Life with Radical Acceptance Dr. Ramani Durvasula on YouTube: 6 Things You NEED to Know About Radical Acceptance BorderLiner Notes on YouTube: How She Learned Radical Acceptance | MARSHA LINEHAN RADICAL ACCEPTANCE by Tara Brach We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, radical acceptance, dialectical behavioral therapy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's back-to-school season, and even if that means you have a few more hours to yourself each day, there are still plenty of fresh hells in store, from preseason sports to parent portals to an unholy invention called "ready confetti". Amy and Margaret share their own stories of times when back-to-school meant drive-me-mad. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Phyllis Fagell for The Washington Post: ⁠"Five ways parents can help children have a better school year"⁠ ⁠Ratchetdemic by Christopher Emdin⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, inclusive, inclusivity , school, back to school, education Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Margaret talks to author and mental health advocate Jyoti Chand (aka @mamajotes) about her debut graphic novel FITTING INDIAN. Jyoti shares how the novel integrates details from her own childhood, including the weight of cultural expectations in Indian families and the power of storytelling in healing generational trauma. Jyoti Chand is an author, speaker, and mental health advocate  with a dedicated audience of over 300k across social platforms, where she is known as @mamajotes. Margaret and Jyoti discuss: The stigma of mental health in South Asian culture and how social media portrays parenting realities. Breaking generational cycles and the importance of understanding and managing emotions for children The importance of community in the healing process Here's where you can find Jyoti: @mamajotes on IG and YouTube Buy FITTING INDIAN: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063237544 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠⁠⁠ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, grief, loss, generational trauma, generational healing, trauma, masculinity, toxic masculinity, gender roles, south asian culture, indian culture, cultural upbringing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices