Ep 155: Healing From Trauma // Leading Through Pain Series with Bianca Juarez Olthoff

Do you have a “game plan for crisis”? Is your goal to finish well in life? Just as athletes prepare for unexpected challenges, we should also anticipate the potential for crisis in our lives and be ready with strategies. Rest and rehabilitation are two strategies that Jesus used to intentionally take time for rest and healing. This serves as a reminder that rest is not a sign of weakness but a necessary part of our well-being. I shared a framework with my church team that has helped me build a plan to navigate adversity. It is the acronym CHIME which stands for Connection, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment. This intentional approach helps us face challenges head-on. Friend, I  invite you to reflect on your own lives, consider your responses to crises, and intentionally build resilience. Let me know how your plan for pain is coming along by tagging me @biancaolthoff  XO, B RESOURCES/LINKS Assignment Build a plan for pain using the CHIME framework: Connection, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment. Quote If you don't turn your pain into purpose or meaning, it will be a stumbling block that you can't get over. Takeaways Having a game plan for crisis is essential for finishing well in life. It is important to be prepared for potential crises such as loss, death, unemployment, divorce, illness, and more. Rest and rehabilitation are both necessary for our well-being and growth. Knowing when to rest and when to seek rehabilitation is crucial for maintaining our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Jesus' example shows the importance of taking time for rest and solitude, as well as seeking God's presence and guidance. Take care of yourself and don't rely on others to fix or heal you. Build a plan for pain using the CHIME framework: Connection, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment. Know who you are and find purpose in your pain. Rely on the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Create a plan for your pain to have handles for healing. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you know how to acknowledge and process trauma effectively? Are you in need of strategies to help you through the process? You know I love to talk about how my “Bible Boyfriend” Paul The Apostle had grit, resilience and endurance. But what I had never spoken about before was all of the painful trauma that he had also experienced. Despite being beaten, battered, bludgeoned, and abused many times, Paul found the strength in God to lead in the midst of his trauma.  Ignoring or denying the existence of trauma in our lives is risky and can hinder our healing. That is why vulnerability is key to be able to address the trauma that we’re going through. Practice trauma-informed leadership by: Understanding what trauma is and what it is not Having honest and vulnerable conversations about pain Starting the healing process with trusted individuals Trauma impacts different aspects of our lives and it impacts those around us too. Don’t allow unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep you stuck in the pain. Seek help from professionals and prayerfully go to God for comfort.  Friend, acknowledging and processing trauma is crucial. Ignoring or denying it only prolongs the healing process. Are you finding purpose in your pain? Let me know by tagging me @biancaolthoff  Love you, B RESOURCES/LINKS Assignment Create a life map: Identify the trauma in your life over the past 10 years.  Quote The idea of being vulnerable feels terrifying, but we will never heal what we conceal. Takeaways Trauma is our response to a painful event, and it can be physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental. It is important to acknowledge and process trauma rather than ignoring or denying it. There are three types of trauma: acute, chronic, and complex. The healing process involves processing the pain with trusted people, prayerfully seeking God's comfort, and finding purpose in the trauma. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself avoiding pain instead of facing it? I’ve been there too, friend. That is why I am sharing a three-part series on healing through pain. In today’s episode, I want to start by emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and embracing pain rather than avoiding it.  It is important to build a strong foundation and develop daily disciplines to navigate pain effectively. We do this by identifying the root cause of pain. You can not solve the pain unless you:  Acknowledge that there’s a problem: Name the pain.  Diagnose the problem: What’s the issue behind the issue? What’s the feeling behind the feeling?  Treat the problem: What needs to be fixed? Who can or should speak into this? What is the root? What is needed to heal? Revisit: Be committed to the healing process. Are you  interested in your healing or are you committed to your healing? Identify the pain, sit in the pain and the pain will lose its power. Let’s be honest about where we’re at while being intentional about our healing. Let me know where you’re at by tagging me @biancaolthoff  XO, B RESOURCES/LINKS Homework Identify where your pain is coming from: Pain of growth Pain of self Pain of circumstance What is the root cause of your pain?  Quote The number one thing that I see, people bailing out of their calling, their vocation or ministry or quitting a church, is pain. Takeaways Pain should be acknowledged and embraced rather than avoided. Building a strong foundation and developing daily disciplines are crucial for leading through pain. Identifying the root cause of pain is essential for effective healing. Treating the problem requires a holistic approach, considering both spiritual and practical aspects. Commitment to the healing process is necessary for long-term growth and well-being. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ So grateful to our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by HomeChef. For a limited time, HomeChef is offering my listeners 18 Free Meals, plus Free Shipping on your first box, and Free Dessert for Life, at HomeChef.com/goingthere. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when a crisis in leadership affects an organization? Is the opportunity for restoration and rebuilding possible? Yes it is!  Dr. Jon Chasteen is on the podcast today. He is a husband and father, an author, the Lead Pastor of Victory.Church, and the Former University & Seminary President. Our conversation helps us understand better: How we can rebuild after a leadership crisis The role and challenges of a Re-Leader The impact of foundation building Planting seeds for future generations Overcoming weariness and burnout The challenges of rebuilding are real. It is important that we don’t despise the small beginnings because they will lead to the rewards of re-leading in marriage, business, and other aspects of life. Fixing what you didn’t break is hard. Navigating it can make us feel weary or stuck in the process. Remember, doing hard things with perseverance allows God to show up and bring transformation. Not only is my friend Jon teaching us how to shift our mindset to view crisis as an opportunity for growth and improvement, we are also getting strategies on how to do hard things, lead through a mess, and find strength to keep moving forward. Restoration is possible, friend! Let us know how you are making progress rebuilding your life by tagging us @biancaolthoff and @jonchasteen XO, B RESOURCES/LINKS Guest Jon Chasteen http://releader.co  ReLeader: How To Fix What You Didn't Break  Quote And the real question for every, really every real eater is am I willing to plant a tree and build something that I may never taste the fruit of it. Takeaways Re-leading requires patience and trust-building. Don't despise small beginnings; they are essential for growth. Re-leading can be challenging and discouraging, but it is a calling. Zoom out and envision the long-term impact of your re-leading journey. Doing hard things allows God to show up and bring transformation. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ So grateful to our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by Airdoctor. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code WGT you’ll receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers!  ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you holding back in being vulnerable with others? Is not being part of an authentic community a factor?  I had a deep discussion with my friend Jennie Allen on all things emotions and vulnerability. Jennie is founder and visionary of IF:Gathering, a writer, podcaster and public speaker who will be sharing with us: There is power in friendship How to pursue God-Sized dreams Creating space for vulnerability Emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity Healing through confession Living wholeheartedly and authentically  Friends, finding and being part of an authentic community is HUGE because it contributes to personal transformation and growth. And transformation begins by being vulnerable. And if you can’t find a community like that follow Jennie’s advice and start your own. You can do this! Jennie’s heart for revival and vulnerability is contagious! Let us know how you are being transformed by tagging me @biancaolthoff and @jennieallen. Love you, B RESOURCES/LINKS Guest Jennie Allen jennieallen.com  Instagram: @jennieallen Book: Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What to Do About It Quote Because I wasn't comfortable with emotions in myself, I wouldn't allow myself to feel them and because I wouldn't feel them, I would keep getting stuck in places that God wanted to free me. Takeaways Authentic friendships and support are essential for pursuing God-sized dreams. Emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity are key to personal growth and revival. Confession and vulnerability lead to healing and freedom. Living wholeheartedly involves embracing and processing emotions. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Bianca’s new book Grit Don't Quit: Developing Resilience And Faith When Giving Up Isn't An Option ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ So grateful to our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by AquaTru. Get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Just go to AquaTru.com and use promo code WGT ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been misinterpreted or criticized by something you said? Are you trying to navigate the challenges of cancel-culture while maintaining your commitment to speaking the truth?  My friend Tim Ross, and my guest on today’s show, is a podcaster, social media influencer, author, and preacher who’s had his experiences with controversy and conflict, both in public and on social media. Tim shares how he remains unashamed in speaking the truth. He also provides insights on: Responding to criticism  Handling conflict in a mature and loving manner Addressing strong language and misinterpretation Anyone who has a public platform knows that there will always be online criticism and sometimes controversy. Knowing when not to engage is important. Having a space for people to be seen, heard, known, and loved is important for healing from this and other types of trauma. Therapy and confession are a crucial role in the healing process.  Show your appreciation to Tim by tagging him @Upsetthegram and me @biancaolthoff. Love you, B RESOURCES/LINKS Guest Tim Ross upsettheworld.com  Book: Welcome to the Basement: An Upside-Down Guide to Greatness  The Basement Podcast Tim Ross Instagram Tim Ross YouTube B-Side App (Apple) (Google Play) Quote Confession is literally good for the soul. It's absolutely good for the soul. And there's a lot of people that confess vertically, but they don't do it horizontally, and therefore they actually don't get healed. Takeaways Dealing with controversy and conflict requires a strong sense of identity and purpose. Navigating cancel-culture involves staying true to one's beliefs and not being swayed by public opinion. Responding to criticism and controversy should be done with maturity, love, and a willingness to engage in dialogue. Using strong language can be effective in conveying strong emotions, but it is important to consider the context and potential misinterpretation. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Order Bianca’s new book GRIT DON’T QUIT ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ So grateful to our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by HomeChef. For a limited time, HomeChef is offering my listeners 18 Free Meals, plus Free Shipping on your first box, and Free Dessert for Life, at HomeChef.com/goingthere. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you going through a personal crisis that has been made public? Have you faced scrutiny because of it? Going through challenges and painful experiences is difficult. But know this, friend: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Brandi Wilson is an author, coach, speaker, and my friend. We will listen to her personal journey of going through divorce and starting over. She discusses the challenges she faced as a pastor's wife and the public fallout of her marriage ending.  For someone going through a divorce, maintaining a sense of self and direction amidst the turmoil of the process can be shattering. That’s why it’s important to take time for healing and to prioritize personal growth after a divorce.  Finding hope and sense of restoration after the end of a significant relationship is possible. Healing will come and restoration is found in Jesus. Tag me @biancaolthoff and @lovebrandiwilson to share your experience. Love you, B RESOURCES/LINKS Brandi Wilson  https://lovebrandiwilson.com/  Books - Better Than Ok: Finding Hope and Healing After Your Marriage Ends Quote A role in a title can be taken away, but no one can take God's call on your life but Him. Takeaways Divorce can be a challenging and painful experience, but it also offers an opportunity for personal growth and starting over. Supporting friends going through divorce requires empathy, patience, and allowing them to grieve and heal at their own pace. It is important to avoid speaking negatively about the ex-spouse in front of children and to create a safe and honest environment for them. Before starting to date again after divorce, it is crucial to take time to heal, seek therapy if needed, and focus on personal growth. God is with you in the midst of divorce and can bring healing, restoration, and a new beginning. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Order Bianca’s new book GRIT DON’T QUIT ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Listen & subscribe to The Best of You - https://tinyurl.com/TheBestOfYouPodcast ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that food has the ability to elevate moods and foster connections? Are you ready to find healing and restoration in the kitchen? My friend and renowned chef, Aarti Sequeira, shares how she found her passion for cooking and how it can be a source of peace, connection, and healing. Find out how: Food can lift spirits and bring people together Cooking as a reflection of life Finding peace in the kitchen You know that it’s always a party when Aarti is around! She shares a recipe for Persian Spinach and Eggs and encourages listeners to cook and share your creations with us by tagging me @biancaolthoff and @aartipaartipics XO B RESOURCES/LINKS Guest Aarti Sequeira  Books Unwind: A Devotional Cookbook for the Harried & Hungry My Family Recipe Journal An American Kitchen with an Indian Soul Ep 42: Soul Food for Your Ears with Aarti Sequeira   Persian Spinach and Eggs Recipe Video Persian Spinach and Eggs (Nargesi) Ingredients: 1 red onion, finely chopped 1 pound of baby spinach (or regular spinach), washed and drained 1/2 teaspoon turmeric Salt and pepper, to taste 1 to 2 large eggs per person Instructions: Heat olive oil in a large pan over medium heat. Sauté the chopped onion until it turns light and translucent. Add the spinach to the pan and cook until wilted (about 10 minutes). You might need to add the spinach in two batches. Cook until excess water evaporates. Season with turmeric, salt, and pepper. Create small wells in the spinach using a spoon and crack the eggs into these wells. Cover the pan and cook for a few minutes until the eggs reach your desired doneness. Serve the Persian Spinach and Eggs on its own or with some bread (such as lavash, barbari, Turkish pide, or pita bread). Quote I'm constantly amazed, flabbergasted, humbled by the fact that, you know, the first thing that Jesus did for his disciples after he resurrected was to cook for them. Takeaways New beginnings can lead to unexpected and fulfilling paths. Mistakes in cooking can often lead to delicious surprises. Cooking can be a source of peace, connection, and healing. Food has the power to lift spirits and bring people together. The transformative way that cooking brings joy to our lives.  ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Order Bianca’s new book GRIT DON’T QUIT ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ So grateful to our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by HomeChef. For a limited time, HomeChef is offering my listeners 18 Free Meals, plus Free Shipping on your first box, and Free Dessert for Life, at HomeChef.com/goingthere. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. This episode is sponsored by Airdoctor. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code WGT you’ll receive UP TO $300 off air purifiers!  ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have a calling as a woman in ministry or in leadership and are facing opposition and resistance? If God called you, He will make a way! I’m always in awe at the stories that I hear from other women in ministry. Some knew their calling from early on. Others, like me, found themselves “unintentionally” entering into ministry and how my ambitions and desires changed over time because of God’s call in my life. No one said this would be easy. That’s why I share my stories in order to encourage you. I remember how I: Faced rejection from seminary   Was asked to step down from leadership roles  Encountered opposition and resistance along the way Understood my calling and committed to personal growth Despite the challenges, I want you to know that if God calls you, He will make a way. My commitment is to God and to sharing His word. Don’t let difficulties discourage you from pursuing your calling. Stay away from comparison and surround yourself with truth-tellers that will help you persevere and not give up.  Friend, it all starts with you. Remember: Be what you want to see! Share your story of perseverance by tagging me @biancaolthoff. XO B RESOURCES/LINKS Bianca Juarez Olthoff - Women in Ministry Quote Don't compare your calling to someone else's. Do what the Lord has called you to do and let Him do the rest.  Takeaways God's calling often unfolds gradually and unexpectedly, and it may require us to step out of our comfort zones. Rejection and opposition can be discouraging, but they should not deter us from pursuing our calling. Women in ministry often face unique challenges and may encounter resistance from both men and women. If God calls you, He will make a way for you to fulfill your purpose. Preaching the word of God should be the focus, regardless of gender or societal expectations. Representation and inclusion are crucial in leadership spaces, and efforts should be made to invite and welcome diverse voices. Men should take responsibility for creating an inclusive and respectful environment for women in leadership. Women in leadership face unique challenges, including the pressure to navigate communication and appearance expectations. Leadership is not easy, but it requires perseverance and a commitment to personal growth. Women should find their voice and be patient, understanding that their calling may take time to fully develop. Surrounding oneself with truth-tellers and receiving constructive criticism is essential for personal and leadership growth. Individuals should strive to be the change they want to see in the world, creating a more inclusive and equitable environment. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Order Bianca’s new book GRIT DON’T QUIT ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ So grateful to our sponsors! This episode is sponsored by AquaTru. Get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Just go to AquaTru.com and use promo code WGT This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/GOINGTHERE and get on your way to being your best self. Sign up today to get 10% off your first month. ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you need massive clarity on how to thrive? If you are ready for a framework that will help you to live authentically by unlocking your highest emotional need, this is the episode for you!  My guest today is best-selling author, speaker, and executive coach Mike Foster. He will help us understand the power of our primal questions. We go over: Shifting from the scramble to the primal truth How our highest emotional needs drive our behavior  How identifying our primal question can lead to personal growth and transformation Mike explains the seven primal questions and shares a simple yet powerful way to uncover your hidden programming, emotional needs, and supernatural gifts. He also shares the importance of understanding ourselves and others in order to build healthier relationships.  Share with us how you are embracing your primal power by tagging us @biancaolthoff and @mikefoster2000 XO, B RESOURCES/LINKS Quote We spend a lot of time cutting branches instead of dealing with the roots and really dealing with the core of who we are and really understanding that. Takeaways Understanding our primal question can lead to personal growth and transformation. Identifying our highest emotional need allows us to make better choices and live in our truth. Recognizing the primal questions of others can help us build healthier relationships. Living in the truth of our primal question empowers us to overcome challenges and pursue our purpose. ⋇ Convoy of Hope - Empowering Women and Girls Together Donate here ⋇ Order Bianca’s new book GRIT DON’T QUIT ⋇ The Grit Don’t Quit Bible Study is now available. ⋇ Subscribe to We’re Going There on your favorite podcast app so you don’t miss out on any of the great topics and conversations. Don’t forget to leave a loving review! Apple Spotify Google ⋇ Visit biancaolthoff.com/resources to learn more about books and other resources from Bianca. ⋇ Want to stay connected, join the community today. ⋇ WGT email: [email protected] ⋇ Music by: Brad Tsushima, Instagram: @bradtsushima, email: [email protected], Spotify: “R.A.D.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices