The Man Behind Attachment Styles Explains Secure Love

Paul Kemsley, music manager and former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast member, opens up about what really happened behind the headlines, why protecting his children matters more than defending himself publicly, and how he is trying to rebuild his life after divorce, reality TV, and public scrutiny. He reflects on life inside one of the biggest reality television franchises in the world, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and the impact it had on his marriage, his family, and his identity. PK shares what it felt like watching private pain become public entertainment, why he believes reality TV can create stories that are not always true, and why he now wants to step away from the noise. Paul also shares the story behind his rise in business, from growing up in North London and chasing money, status, and success, to building a fortune, losing control, and going bankrupt in public. He reflects on ambition, ego, failure, and the moments that forced him to confront who he had become. He opens up about managing Boy George, rebuilding after public setbacks, giving up alcohol, and the clarity that came when he stopped blaming everything around him. PK reflects on fatherhood, accountability, divorce, and why, after losing so much, he still believes in getting back up. Paul Kemsley, We Need To Talk Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Paul here:https://www.instagram.com/paul_kemsley_pk/  (00:00) Intro (01:46) Why PK Is Sharing His Story Now (02:41) PK’s Upbringing in 1970s Stanmore (04:14) PK’s Experience of Antisemitism (05:57) How PK Built His Early Career and Rock (12:31) What Drove PK’s Business Ambitions (13:49) PK’s Relationship With Sir Alan Sugar (15:54) The 2008 Crash and the Collapse of Rock (21:18) Saily Ad (22:40) PK on His Public Divorce From Dorit (28:21) Why PK Joined The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (43:36) PK’s Darkest Moment on RHOBH (46:10) The Emotional Toll of Online Backlash (51:32) Why PK Bought the New York Cosmos (54:03) The Story Behind Signing Pelé (56:07) How PK Ended Up Managing Boy George (01:00:28) PK Reads a Letter From Boy George (01:05:40) Most Memorable Conversation (01:08:24) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does secure love actually look like? Dr Amir Levine explores what it really means to build a relationship that feels safe, flexible and deeply connected. Amir goes beyond the labels of anxious, avoidant and secure to explain how security is created in everyday relationships. In the final part of this three-part series, Amir challenges one of the most debated ideas in modern relationships, shares why even secure people can shift depending on who they’re with, and reveals how a secure partner can help reshape the way we see the world. We’re Talking Attachment Styles with Dr Amir Levine (Part Three) Follow me here: ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk⁠⁠   ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod⁠⁠  Take the We Need To Talk quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised episode recommendations: ⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2g3t4⁠⁠ Support Amir here: Website: ⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2g2xk⁠⁠ My Attachment Topography Calculator: ⁠⁠https://linkly.link/2g2xl⁠⁠ Secure at Waterstones https://linkly.link/2g8vz Enter 'Secure26' for 25% off (00:00) Intro (01:43) Dr Amir Levine Breaks Down Why Relationships Don’t Need Boundaries (04:50) Can One Shift From a Secure Attachment to an Unsecure One? (07:08) Dr Amir Levine Describes His Childhood Environment (09:39) Saily Ad (10:48) How Did Dr Amir Levine's Upbringing Affect the Man He Is Today? (11:48) What Is Dr Amir's Attachment Style to the Different People in His Life? (14:12) What Is the Best Strategy as a Parent to Raise a Secure Child? (16:37) Most Memorable Conversation (18:33) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love Island star Dami Hope gives his first sit-down interview as he speaks openly about Love Island, Indiyah Polack and the cheating allegations involving Inside UK star Marlon Garcia. He also reflects on heartbreak, grief, masculinity and growing up Nigerian in Ireland. In this conversation, Dami revisits what really happened in the villa, why he felt misunderstood after Love Island, and how the villain narrative followed him long after the show ended. He also opens up about his relationship with Indiyah, the sudden breakup that followed, and the betrayal he says changed everything. Dami shares the painful reality of watching the viral video alongside his friends and how he’s navigated the public fallout. Dami also speaks about losing his father, the pressure of stepping up for his family, and how grief reshaped the way he sees himself. From identity and race to fashion, friendship and self-expression, he explains why he is finally ready to tell his side. Dami Hope, We Need To Talk This episode includes discussion of grief. If you’re struggling with these themes or your own mental health, remember you’re not alone. You can find help and resources at the links below: CALM: https://linkly.link/2dx8H   MIND:  https://linkly.link/2dx8b  Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Dami here: https://www.instagram.com/damihope/?hl=en  https://www.tiktok.com/@damihope  (00:00) Intro (03:09) Moving to Ireland: Dami’s Childhood Experience (08:31) Being Black in Late-90s Ireland (10:10) Why Dami Changed His Name as a Teenager (14:56) From Science to Microbiology: Dami’s Early Career (17:06) How and Why Dami Applied for Love Island (23:27) Who Caught Dami’s Eye First in the Villa? (28:20) Dami’s Experience of Casa Amor (33:27) Rekindling With Indiyah After Casa Amor (35:09) Saily Ad (36:16) What Didn’t Make the Edit on Love Island? (38:10) Did Dami Fall in Love With Indiyah in the Villa? (41:22) When Dami and Indiyah Became a Real Couple (45:02) How Much Dami Earned From Brand Deals After the Villa (48:56) What Dami Loved About Indiyah (58:25) Why Dami and Indiyah Broke Up (01:09:15) Dami’s Response to Online Haters (01:09:49) Do Dami and Indiyah Still Speak? (01:10:21) Does Dami Watch Inside UK? (01:11:35) Is Dami Dating Now? (01:15:25) Dami’s Experience of Bullying and Violence at School (01:26:30) How Dami’s Father’s Passing Affected Him (01:34:45) Dami Reads a Letter From His Best Friend (01:37:53) What Healthy Masculinity Looks Like (01:40:14) Dami’s Love of Fashion and Its Evolution (01:47:27) Dami on His Accent and Code-Switching (01:52:02) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Amir Levine dives deeper into the dynamics of attachment styles in relationships. He explains why anxious and avoidant individuals often find themselves stuck in a never-ending cycle, and how these patterns can impact the way we choose and connect with romantic partners. Amir offers insightful tools to help both anxious and avoidant types navigate their relationships more effectively, and shares how being with a secure partner can change the way we experience love. With practical advice and eye-opening truths, this episode uncovers the path to breaking free from destructive patterns and creating healthier, more secure connections. We’re Talking Attachment Styles with Dr. Amir Levine (Part Two) Follow me here: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk⁠   ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod⁠  Take the We Need To Talk quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised episode recommendations: ⁠https://linkly.link/2g3t4⁠ Support Amir here: Website: ⁠https://linkly.link/2g2xk⁠ My Attachment Topography Calculator: ⁠https://linkly.link/2g2xl⁠ Secure at Waterstones https://linkly.link/2g8vz Enter 'Secure26' for 25% off (00:00) Intro (01:09) What Do Different Attachment Styles Look for in a Partner? (05:01) What Is the Gender Split on the Various Attachment Styles? (06:51) Is It a Problem Being in a Relationship With Someone Who Has the Same Attachment Style as You? (09:05) Dr Amir’s Tools for Changing Your Brain and Attachment Styles (13:41) Not Texting Back and Being Avoidant With Your Friends (15:00) The Myths Surrounding Attachment Styles (17:14) Having Different Attachment Styles With Various People in Your Life (19:29) Saily Ad (20:39) How Does Social Media Affect Attachment Styles? (23:03) Social Exclusion and Its Effect on the Brain (30:06) How to Set Expectations in Your Relationships Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kathy Griffin cancelled, controversy, losing everything overnight, and rebuilding after 7 years out of work. Kathy opens up about what really happened behind the headlines, why she regrets apologising, and how she survived losing her career, friendships, and identity overnight. Kathy reflects on the fallout that followed, from being investigated and publicly condemned to losing 75% of her friends. She speaks about the anxiety that came with it, the pressure of being constantly judged, and why she believes the narrative around her story is only now starting to change. Kathy also shares her journey into Hollywood, breaking through later than most and facing years of rejection about her looks and worth. From being told she wasn’t “pretty enough” to building a career on her own terms, she explains how she carved out success in an industry that often pushed her out. She opens up about addiction, recovery, and the period where everything caught up with her. Kathy reflects on rebuilding her life, finding new friendships, and why she continues to speak out despite the risk of backlash. Kathy Griffin, We Need To Talk This episode contains discussion of addiction and suicide. We’ve included links to support charities below: Samaritans: https://linkly.link/2dx7Z   CALM: https://linkly.link/2dx8H   MIND:  https://linkly.link/2dx8b  Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Kathy here: https://www.instagram.com/kathygriffin/ https://www.tiktok.com/@kathygriffin  Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ 00:00 Intro02:16 Kathy’s Childhood in 1960s Chicago 03:52 Racial Tensions in 1960s Chicago 06:23 Kathy’s Relationship With Her Parents 12:07 The Beginnings of Kathy’s Comedy in School 15:13 How Kathy Convinced Her Parents to Move to LA 18:44 Kathy and Her Family’s First Years in LA 21:56 The Beginnings of Kathy’s Acting Career in LA 26:25 Kathy’s Early Auditions and Break on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 32:52 Kathy’s Relationship With Quentin Tarantino 37:54 Suddenly Susan and Kathy’s First HBO Special 53:55 Statistics on Gender and Comedy 59:05 Saily Ad 01:00:30 The Context Behind Kathy’s Relationship With Donald Trump 01:06:09 The Story Behind ‘That Photo’ 01:09:52 The Media Backlash and Kathy’s ‘Cancellation’ 01:15:16 How the Backlash Affected Kathy’s Mental Health 01:23:04 Paul Surprises Kathy With A Letter 01:25:19 How Kathy Bounced Back 01:31:17 Kathy Breaks Down Her Relationship History 01:36:23 Kathy’s Self-Esteem and Cosmetic Procedures 01:40:54 Kathy on Her Relationships With Famous Friends 01:43:44 Most Memorable Conversation 01:45:52 Paul’s Takeaways Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anxious, avoidant or secure? Dr Amir Levine breaks down the science of attachment styles and why the way we connect in relationships shapes our emotional world.  Dr. Amir Levine is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and bestselling author of Attached and new book Secure, whose work has transformed how millions understand attachment styles and relationships. In the first of a three-part series, Amir explains how anxious, avoidant, and secure patterns show up in adulthood, and how understanding them can completely change the way you experience love. He shares the story behind his best-selling book and how a personal breakup led him to uncover research that had been hidden in academic papers for decades. Amir also challenges one of the biggest myths in psychology, explaining why your childhood accounts for less than 10% of your adult attachment style. We’re Talking Attachment Styles with Dr Amir Levine (Part One) Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod  Take the We Need To Talk quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised episode recommendations: https://linkly.link/2g3t4 Support Amir here: Website: https://linkly.link/2g2xk My Attachment Topography Calculator: https://linkly.link/2g2xl Secure at Waterstones https://linkly.link/2g8vz Enter 'Secure26' for 25% off (00:00) Intro (01:04) Paul Fanboys Over Dr Amir’s Work (02:32) What Are Attachment Styles? (04:01) The International Success of *Attached* (04:55) Dr Amir Breaks Down the Three Main Attachment Styles (08:30) How Do Attachment Styles Originate? (12:13) How Attachment Styles Impact Our Lives (14:02) Can We Change Our Attachment Styles? (17:00) Saily Ad (18:10) Dr Amir Explains the “My Attachment Topography Calculator” Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kerry Katona returns to We Need To Talk with Paolo, opening up about finding love when she least expected it, the anxiety she was battling, and the heartbreak that ran alongside her happiest moments. She speaks candidly about her relationship with Paolo, from meeting up after the cameras stopped rolling to blending their families and talking seriously about marriage. Kerry and Paolo also reflect on falling pregnant early in their relationship, the miscarriages they went through together, and what that loss brought up for them both. Kerry also speaks honestly about going on tour with Katie Price, why everyone told her not to do it, and the 20-year friendship that still connects them despite how different they are. She reflects on the emotional toll of sharing so much on stage, the health scare that left her in hospital, and why her children’s approval means more to her than anything else. Kerry Katona, We Need To Talk (again) This episode contains discussion of miscarriage. We’ve included links to support charities below: Sands: https://linkly.link/2fej3 Tommy’s: https://linkly.link/2feiZ  Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Kerry & Paolo here: https://www.instagram.com/kerrykatona7   https://www.tiktok.com/@official.kerrykatona https://www.instagram.com/paolomargaglione1/  https://www.tiktok.com/@margafitness_  Abba Mia Tour: https://www.d3productions.co.uk/abba-mia (00:00) Intro (00:58) Kerry is Back! (02:32) The Impact of Kerry’s First Appearance on We Need To Talk (11:49) Kerry’s Mindset Going into Appearing on Celebs Go Dating (15:52) What Was It About Paolo That First Appealed to Kerry? (17:18) How Kerry and Paolo’s Relationship Developed (20:26) How Did Kerry and Paolo Deal With the Age Gap? (22:26) Kerry’s Struggle With Anxiety Over The Past Year (25:52) Kerry’s Health Scare (27:51) The Emotional Impact of Kerry’s Tour with Katie Price (31:57) Kerry and Paolo’s Interdependent Relationship (35:24) Would Kerry Tour With Katie Price Again? (37:07) The History of Kerry and Katie’s Friendship (42:52) Kerry’s On Parasocial Relationships (48:20) Paul Surprises Kerry With A Letter From Home (54:42) Shopify Ad (55:46) Paolo Joins Paul and Kerry (01:00:09) What Has the Media’s Reception Been Like About Their Relationship? (01:04:34) Paul Shows Kerry and Paolo a Family Photo (01:06:32) How Do Kerry and Paolo Manage Their Blended Family? (01:08:43) How Does Paolo Deal With the Parasocial Relationship Fans Have With Kerry? (01:13:41) Kerry and Paolo Address ‘That Photo’ With Katie Price in Dubai (01:14:57) Are Kerry and Paolo Moving to Spain? (01:17:27) What Does Paolo Love About Kerry? (01:21:21) Will Kerry and Paolo Get Married? (01:24:00) Do Kerry and Paolo Want to Have Children Together? (01:30:43) Most Memorable Conversation (01:34:03) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talia Mar shares her journey with autism from feeling different as a child to being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at 24. She opens up about bullying, masking, sensory overwhelm, and the pressure of trying to appear confident while struggling internally. Talia also reflects on why autism in women is so often missed, how music became her outlet, and the relief that came with finally understanding herself. This conversation is an honest look at neurodivergence, identity and embracing the way your mind works. We’re Talking Autism (00:00) Intro (00:35) Talia Explains Why She Thinks She Was Bullied at School (02:28) Talia on Masking and Dealing With Bullying at School (03:27) What Advice Would Talia Give Her Younger Self? (04:44) The Message Behind Talia’s Music (07:53) Talia’s Autism Diagnosis at 24 (08:45) When Talia First Thought She Had Autism (11:53) Saily Ad (13:05) Why Talia Wasn’t Diagnosed Earlier (15:28) Statistics Around Autism in Women (16:38) How Life Might Have Been Different With an Earlier Diagnosis (18:07) How Talia’s Parents Reacted to Her Diagnosis (20:11) Would Talia Encourage Others to Seek a Diagnosis? (20:56) How Miniminter Reacted to Talia’s Autism Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Only Way Is Essex star Chloe Sims reveals the truth about TOWIE, fame, and the relationship she says took years of her life. She opens up about growing up without her biological mum, being bullied for her looks, and why part of her still feels like that young girl today. Chloe speaks honestly about the man she kept going back to, why she apologised for things she didn't do, and the moment she finally realised he was never going to change. She also shares what reality TV was really like behind the scenes. From rehearsing arguments to shaking with nerves, Chloe explains how the pressure to perform affected her mental health and why she was never the “Ice Queen” people believed she was. Chloe also reflects on motherhood and the lengths she went to protect her daughter from the spotlight. She speaks about filming House of Sims with her siblings, why making the show nearly broke her, and what starting again in America has taught her about love, family and self-worth. Chloe Sims, We Need To Talk Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk   https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod   Sign up to our newsletter https://linkly.link/2eXHX Follow Chloe here: https://www.instagram.com/chloesims  https://www.tiktok.com/@misschloesims (00:00) Intro (01:46) Paul Tells the Story of How He and Chloe First Met (05:53) Chloe’s Upbringing in East London and Essex (07:45) Chloe’s Family Situation Growing Up (13:39) How Moving From East London to School in Essex Affected Chloe (18:48) Paul Shows Chloe a Childhood Photo of Her and Joey (20:08) How Joey’s Mother’s Death Affected Chloe (28:05) Chloe’s Biggest Insecurity During Adolescence (30:38) Chloe’s Life After School and a Toxic Relationship (38:43) What Chloe Is Looking for in a Partner (41:12) Saily Ad (42:20) How Chloe Was Cast in TOWIE (51:57) How Chloe’s Life Changed After Joining TOWIE (57:49) Chloe’s Darkest Moment on TOWIE (01:06:26) Chloe’s Experience on Celebs Go Dating (01:09:01) How Chloe Is Pigeonholed in the Reality TV Industry (01:11:53) Chloe’s Current Dating Life and What She Wants in a Partner (01:18:19) Chloe’s Experience of Perimenopause (01:21:19) Chloe Asks Paul for Dating Advice During Perimenopause (01:24:48) Paul Reads Chloe a Letter From a TV Industry Insider (01:32:59) Paul Reads Chloe a Letter From Her Brother Charlie (01:36:53) How Chloe Has Navigated the Media and Her Daughter Maddie (01:40:16) The Biggest Lesson Chloe Has Learned From Motherhood (01:41:35) Chloe Recounts Her Experience With Cosmetic Surgery (01:45:08) Will Chloe Have Any More Cosmetic Procedures? (01:46:59) Most Memorable Conversation (01:49:17) Paul’s Takeaways Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ashley Roberts shares how a first audition changed everything, taking her from performing at the Viper Room to becoming part of one of the biggest girl groups in the world. She opens up about the early buzz around the group to performing alongside Rihanna and Lady Gaga. Ashley also reflects on the structure of the group, with Nicole as the lead singer, the pressure and pace of sudden fame, and the physical and emotional toll that came with life inside such an iconic act. We're Talking The Pussycat Dolls Sponsored by: Saily - Download from the app store and use code WNTT at checkout for 15% off. For more details: https://saily.com/wntt ⛵ (00:00) Intro (00:38) Ashley Shares How She Joined the Pussycat Dolls (03:27) From Viper Room Dance Act to Global Pop Group (04:34) The Origins and Success of “Don’t Cha” (07:07) The Sheer Scale of Pussycat Dolls’ Success (08:18) Ashley’s Fondest Memory at the Height of Their Success (09:32) Saily Ad (11:22) The Structure of the Pussycat Dolls as a Group (13:55) Why the Pussycat Dolls Didn’t Reform Post-Covid (15:18) The Financial Success of the Pussycat Dolls (17:29) The Demanding Touring Schedule and Its Impact on Ashley (20:30) Paul Shows Ashley the Debut Pussycat Dolls Album Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices